• Member Since 11th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 39 minutes ago

GaPJaxie


It's fanfiction all the way down.

T

A strange mare arrives in Twilight’s library, claiming to be her future self—here to stop a terrible plague. But Twilight worries that this stranger’s bold claims may hide something more sinister.

Cover art by Cold in Gardez.

Chapters (4)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 173 )

Guys, I decided it was about time that I wrote a happy story. A story full of love, and rainbows, where nothing bad happens to my characters and nopony is sad all the time.

“Now,” she said, lifting the strange device to Granny’s throat. “This shot is administered through the neck. Which can sometimes be dangerous. Bleeding out and such. And it would suck if I accidentally killed Applejack’s grandmother.”

Feels incoming. Abort! Abort!!!!

i42.photobucket.com/albums/e306/Sarahh812/post-25055-NOPE-adventure-time-gif-Aigh_zpsd0889d1d.gif

5821183

It's too late! You're too low to eject!

5821184 Feck! Fine!

*reads the remainder of it*

...Take the like and the favorite. Keep the fucked up head canon about overpopulation and ponies never dying far, FAR away from me, lest I cry. Even though I love it. And hate it. But also love it.

Oh come on, I was so waiting for Future Twilight to be Chrysalis! :ajbemused:
Also, can I ask how this story is a tragedy?

Alrighty then~

This was indeed the idea that I suspected it was, though it ended the way a Less Wronger would end it.

5821251

Twilight has issues. Feels issues.

You know, I never actually read a story like this before, so points for you for originality, well, in this community anyways, I'm discounting movies and other media.

A country filled with immortal citizens? A raffle to see who has a kid? I wish this was more expanded on, I mean Future Twilight does give plenty of information about the upcoming events yet just a little vague so Twilight of course freaks out. It just, if only there was a expanded line of words on what Twilight would do after this conversation with Future Twi. Maybe I'm asking too much, who knows, it's the author's decision anyways. The talk was superb though, more points for you!

If overpopulation is a problem, why not just go to space? With magic and a bajillion immortal twenty-year-olds, it would probably happen. Think about it, if there are enough ponies anxious enough for kids that they need a lottery, then at least some of those couples would try to go into space.

Of course, there is the huge tech issue, but a bazillion years and a large group of smart people could probably solve that.

But that would leave, in a few million years, an entire galaxy or universe filled with quadrillions of ponies might lead to the same overpopulation problem, only magnified.

But with super cool magic, you could solve that too. Maybe invent a TARDIS-style home that could fit a planet into a one-story house. Or combine magic and technology to come up with something that could solve interplanetary hunger and shortages.

Or heck, just turn everyone into alicorns and see what happens.

Or you could go the Larry Niven way and have gladiator battles for the right to have children.

Also, the "cure" exists in a Bootstrap paradox, where it has no defined origin. The cure created itself. The information on how to cure aging came literally from nowhere.

Nice. Ah, the usefulness of stable time loops. :)

I'm a bit puzzled regarding why Twilight the Younger is so very hostile, though.

5821306
I was wondering that too. I guess that works... but since I'm not understanding why she has said issues, it just moves the problem instead of solving it.

5821477
Why are we using spoiler tags? Anyway, thoughts:
Well, it's possible that this version of Equestria's universe really does just have the planet, the sun, the moon, a few flashlights on a complex rail system, and an impenetrable crystal sphere spattered with glowing paint. That sort of universe tends to make me feel a bit claustrophobic, but it's a possibility. Pocket sub-universes and other such spatial distortions might be useless on a large scale due to the universe possessing only a conserved finite amount of energy; expand the space too much and the energy density gets too low to do anything with. You still might be able to disassemble the planet, moon, and sun to put their matter back together into a configuration optimized for maximal habitation, but, while that buys you a lot, it just means that the collapse will be even worse when the cap is hit and you've still not solved the core population growth problem. The only thing left is getting out of the universe entirely, but we don't know how difficult that might be; even if it's possible, a thousand years of work by immortal researchers might not be enough.

5821525

We do know there are stars in their universe (well, they're called stars in the first episode), and it is never said if magic follows conservation of energy. In our universe, there are 100 billion galaxies, and there are 100 billion stars in our own milky way galaxies. And since ponies already terraform their planet normally, they could easily colonize vast swaths of the universe over the course of eons.

If their universe is really small... gather all of the best, immortal minds on the planet and try to work out inter universal travel.

Also, I used the spoiler tag because my comment spoiled the story. But not this one!

Hmm.

I'm not sure how I feel about this story. It's well written, well crafted, and well told. All hallmarks of GaPJaxie and why I eagerly await anything you write. It even has a Melancholy/Tragic hope feel to it, which I am a complete sucker for. On the other hand, I am weary of tragic immortal Twilight stories. Though you do it an order of magnitude better than others, it has still gotten to be one of my pet peeves. Where are all the stories where Twilight grows and changes, but stays true to herself and brings about a star republic in the far future? Where are the stories where she steps fully and comfortably into her role as princess alongside Celestia and Luna and rules alongside them centuries hence? They are there, but rare, and rarer still well written.

I know it is not fair to rant about this here, you have written a fine story and it shouldn't be beholden to the literary scarring other stories in the genre have left upon me, but I felt I needed to explain why it will be getting a thumbs up from me, but not a favorite. Which may be a first for me for one of your stories.

As I said, well done, well told. There is a lot I like about it, but I guess when it is said and done - tragic immortal Twilight just isn't my cup of tea, regardless of how well it is brewed.

5821560

I'm not sure how I feel about this story. Its well written, well crafted, and well told. All hallmarks of GaPJaxie and why I eagerly await anything you write.

Thank you! In fact, I'm so flattered, I have a gift for you. :twilightsmile:

Where are all the stories where Twilight grows and changes, but stays true to herself and brings about a star republic in the far future. Where are the stories where she steps fully and comfortably into her role as princess alongside Celestia and Luna and rules alongside them centuries hence.

They're Right Here!

Another fic of mine called Intern. A happy immortal Twilight. :scootangel:

I know it is not fair to rant about this here, you have written a fine story and it shouldn't be beholden to the literary scarring other stories in the genre have left upon me, but I felt I needed to explain why it will be getting a thumbs up from me, but not a favorite. Which may be a first for me for one of your stories.

Quite alright. I don't think immortality is bad either. I'm just a sucker for some good melancholy.

5821548
Oh, certainly to all of that. I was just trying to come up with a hypothesis for why they would be so concerned about overpopulation.

Ah, okay; I generally assume that all FIMFiction comments may contain spoilers (for the story they're comments on, that is) unless explicitly instructed otherwise.

5821560

There's always this:

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/94871/true-true-friends-until-the-very-end

You know, in the far-far future, there is only friendship. (and love, but Cadance is a showoff.)

Glad to see this story finally come to fruition :)

5821603

Yup, your story and Intern both are on my Favorites list :twilightsmile:

Wow.:derpyderp2: I was actually the best Twilight comes back from future stories I read on this site. Well done.:heart:

youth serum? Has future twi snapped fromseeing her friends and family die and came back to make everyone immortal/younger with some twisted logic? Is the mysterious plague she mentioned in reality just old age?

5821477 The original time travel episode was a Bootstrap Paradox as well, as Twilight travels in time to warn Twilight, who eventually travels back in time to warn Twilight who..... you get the point

I wrote a review of this story; it can be found here.

5821568
5821560
Intern is quite good; if you haven't read it, I'd recommend it.

5821224

well I don't like it. Kill the future so the past may live

5821477

if they have no space program then traveling to space may not be the best idea and some may not be the eager. They want to have a kid, not get blown up by an experimental device or die in the cold of space

5821477 First, solving overpopulation through space colonization would be an undertaking of massive proportions. Merely colonizing other planets is nowhere near enough - you have to be shipping people off-world at the rate kids are born. You can't do stuff like generations ships - if you need those, you aren't sending people to other inhabitable planets, you are sending people to other metal deposits because you'll dismantle Mercury for parts soon enough.

Second, whatever you do is going to be very temporary. Population growth is by nature exponential and growth in which people remain breeding age forever is very fast.

Twilight snarled as she let out a blast of purple energy at the strange mare. It was as bright a beam as she had ever fired—a pencil-thin ray of energy as bright as the sun, streaking across the little kitchen in a fraction of a second. It struck the strange mare in the side of the neck, right where her needle had pierced Granny Smith’s skin.

Calling it now that it's how the immortality potion is derived.

Also, the burdening weight of years can do a lot to a pony Twilight. :twilightoops:

Wow. This story was good. Like really good.

I think it's cool (if I interpreted this right) that it's hinted the entire time that Future Twilight came back to change everything, but Twilight doesn't want to end up like Future Twilight but even though it's hinted that she can't change what she'll become. I liked that. (If I got that right)

It's feeling a bit Red Dwarf up in here. Which is no bad thing.

5822435

present Twilight did that to future Twilight, so I don't see how that would happen

5822211 Teleportation is already a thing, and with that high a population, extending the range to interplanetary distances might become feasible. Shipping colonists off-planet at a high rate, once there is some place for them to go to, is not the hard part. Granted, you'd have to be making more land - terraforming planets, building space stations, whatever - at an expanding rate, so it would just kick the can down the road. The first planet terraformed would double the land available, which would give a few generations in which to terraform the rest of the system, and then find some means of FTL travel to start claiming nearby systems. Eventually you run out of galaxy; hopefully by then you can start hopping to nearby galaxies. Then you run out of universe...but even Equestria at the start of this all has ways to get to alternate realities. (Indeed, alternate dimensions may be easier to colonize than other planets, and there's no obvious theoretical limit there.)

As to the story itself, yay for another anti-aging tale; didn't think I'd see one here. I got the sense that future Twilight was holding back some information so that past Twilight would not be too bound, and could try to change future Twilight to be the best future Twilight she could be. (That said - yes, she had changed. Enough that a "only works once per pony" spell could work again? Interesting that it binds to character; a thousand years will change just about any who live through them.)

5822049 Luna's been to the moon, time travel, parallel universes, teleportation, and magic are a thing. Also, their planet is already constantly being manipulated by weather ponies. Also Discord.

5822211 In addition to what schpeelah said, There are also an exponentially increasing amount of young, intelligent minds working on the problem. Also space stations, because if the ponies already manage the weather, seasons, etc., on their own planet, doing it in space is probably not that far a leap. Heck, creation of a dyson sphere or a ring world using pony magic is probably more feasible than future human tech. Or Discord. You know, reality warper?

5823101 Exactly what I was thinking, eventually the older generations would stop having kids (probably) and in the meantime, there is literally a bajillion ways out of this situation, especially with magic. Like Discord. Also, mass teleportation, using mirrors to go to other worlds (but they would avoid currently inhabited worlds), other magical artifacts, or creating Dyson spheres or ring worlds.

5822211 Uhm, in almost every country in the developed world, the native population is DECREASING on its own.

Social structure changes and lifespan-related factors influence birth rates, naturally limiting them as people put off or totally forgo having children.

Not to mention, space population is much easier when you have magic... kinda can cheat physics there.

Future Twilight's an idiot...

She's read too many of those stupid YA dystopian future novels...

Which only IDIOTS like! If you like those novels, YOU are an idiot! It's a 1:1 correlation! YA novels = stupid people!

IT IS HAS BEEN PROOVED!!! :pinkiecrazy:

:trollestia:

Meh, if this paradox can exist, then Twilight can just create another paradox by going back in time to when the Future Twilight first arrives and stab her in the face. Nothing will happen, because this universe clearly allows temporal paradoxes.

But I'll bet she's not smart enough to do that since she's clearly so stupid she'll become Future Twilight anyway be believing in the false dichotomy and other nonsense Future Twilight spouts.

Oh no, age! The worst affliction of all! Heaven forbid we continue to live as nature dictates...God forbid people die of natural causes and such.

God, Equestria must be the most boring place ever in the future. There is no opportunity for genetic progress if everyone continues to live forever, people! I don't...I don't NEED to be super-smart to understand that!

“You’re not me,” Twilight said, lifting her head again. Her eyes were wet, but focused, narrowed in on the strange mare across from her. “You’re not me. I don’t know... who you are. Or what your game is. Or how you know so much. But I’m the Princess of Friendship, and you’re a monster. Just the way you talk about... the way you talk about rulership makes it clear you don’t even know the difference between a Princess and a tyrant. And...”
Twilight drew a breath, and let it out. “And you’re a liar. You lied because it was convenient. You lied because it was easy. You didn’t hesitate to use force to get your way. You’re manipulative, and proud of it. You’re vain. You’re arrogant. And worst of all, you’re cruel.” Twilight jabbed a hoof outside, pointing to the yard where they’d all stood a few minutes ago.
“The way you were lounging on that roof? Just watching and smirking while our lives fell apart. Like a cross between a gargoyle and a jaguar deciding which antelope to kill. You enjoyed seeing the pain on my face. On Applejack’s face.” Twilight drew a shaky breath. “You lorded your power over me, over us, at every chance. And now you think I’m going to sit here and listen as you talk about riots, and anarchy, and sterilizing the population? Because I have no choice? Because we’re on the rails? Well you’re wrong. I do have a choice. And I won’t let this happen!”
Twilight lowered her head, and her horn shone brilliantly. “Because I’m a real Princess, and I will never, ever, turn into YOU!”
Twilight snarled as she let out a blast of purple energy at the strange mare. It was as bright a beam as she had ever fired—a pencil-thin ray of energy as bright as the sun, streaking across the little kitchen in a fraction of a second. It struck the strange mare in the side of the neck, right where her needle had pierced Granny Smith’s skin.

That actually convinced me that they weren't the same. I get the feeling that that was what you were going for, so congrats!

5823374
Why must you plague all the good fics?
And I do hope your kidding about YA Dystopian = Idiocy.

5824350 Nope. I am quite serious. I have thus far not been able to force myself to read through even one, given that the initial scenarios are so utterly preposterous I cannot bother to give any weight to them.

They all remind me to some extent of the Doctor Who episode "The Happiness Patrol", which at least had the decency of having the gloriously silly character The Candy Man... though the hilarity he elicited may have been unintentional. I would counter all these outrageous fantasies with a far more subtle and nuanced approach to dystopia: that being "Blade Runner", in which life has not become some bizarre series of torments and outlandish set-ups, but has simply undergone a slow decline, with an undercurrent of humanity yet in existence. The people in general still go about life, while the plot of the story takes place quite without their knowledge and yet becomes more deeper and impacting due to its ability to speak to the mind and soul with thoughtfulness and wit rather than bludgeoning the senses with spectacle.

The truth the YA fans refuse to acknowledge is that even the 'best' of the novel series (which seems to be "The Hunger Games") is still quite lacking in nuance and plausibility compared to less idiosyncratic literature. And even many fans uncomfortably admit the final book is disappointing.

Back when I was young (I predate cable TV), my fellow youths used to treat such tales as mere amusements. They could be entertaining, but in no regard would we take them as any more than melodramatic fantasy! We knew better.

Yet even then, there were examples of works which transcended typical popular literature and put anything of the YA subset of today to shame. "A Wrinkle in Time" is one such example, and almost anything by Roald Dahl.

The fact is, the youth of today hardly know what good literature looks like, as they only read what their nigh-illiterate and cerebrally lacking peers say is 'good' by their limited experience and even more severely stunted intellect.

An interesting concept. I've read several "Twilight from the future" and "Twilight lives forever" stories, yet none like this. While I could see some of where this story was going, I most enjoyed the open-ended implications of the conclusion. That was interesting and unexpected.

Well done.

I wonder if Twilight would react worse to a spell that made ponies want to have kids far less frequently. Or one that reversed the lottery. :trollestia:

I wonder how far finance and crime advance in future Equestria. I can imagine a pool of money being anonymously created to be distributed to hitmen. For example, ponies from one wealthy city may slip a few hundred bits a piece towards a maintaining a high death rate in another city. Maybe the upper class has a pool for killing off lower class ponies. Maybe factory owners deliberately maintain hazardous working conditions.

I wonder if there develops a black market for adoption. Or can lottery winners sell their rights to have kids? Maybe with fake id? Maybe parents can pay to put fertilized eggs inside of a lottery winner.

I wonder if healthcare costs skyrocket because people know that they can get far more out of every life saved. On the same note, does debt become more valuable since ponies can be coerced into paying back interest for centuries?

Does anyone even sell diapers anymore? Do parents have to pay exorbitant prices for a doctor that knows how to deal with babies?

Is Equestria screwed when any one of the Princesses dies?

Has anypony lived long enough to get bored of their own special talent?

Answers, man!

5824994
I can agree with YA of today being like that.
While I have read Maze Runner, Hunger Games, and more like them, They always seem to have something in them that just turns me off. I enjoy reading them, but somewhere along the line, usually in the ending, is when everything falls apart.
NOTHING compares to that of the old, those are the originals, the ones that everything now stems off of.
That's not to say those novels are not GOOD, they are popular for a reason.
I dunno about that last part, as I myself have read since I was 2 (Clifford the Big Red Dog was the first book as far back as I can remember.) and I've been voraciously at it ever since. Sure, I read YA novels and the other stuff that I get recommended to read by friends and family, but I prefer factual books; Ripley's, Guinness, Encyclopedias; Hell, I read the Bible and most of Shakespeare's works over the summer 'cause I was bored, not to mention dozens of psychology and self-help/help-others books. (Mom had lots of those lying around.)
I can see where it's coming from, as most kids want to play video games, or play outside (not that's a bad thing), but they hardly crack open a book. I just want to prove that It's not everyone.
I also don't think it's intellect, but rather something more along the lines of peer pressure, stemming from one or one group of idiots.

5823458 So then you'd prefer to do without agriculture, and medicine, and buildings, and pretty much all technology?

Equestria, like Earth, is dominated by those who left pure natural living behind millennia ago, precisely because they stopped relying only on what nature gave them. And on average, the more they asserted their mastery over their environment artificial (counting magic and especially weather control, given the effects it would have on e.g. food production and natural disaster prevention/relief), the more they thrived. (Not to say it's all been good - see the environmental damage done in some parts of Earth - but on average there has clearly been a benefit.) Those who praise nature and decry all attempts to tame it, do not appreciate how hostile nature really is.

Further, your ire is undoubtedly aimed at other people who wish to not live "as nature intended", but consider what happens when it's your loved ones who are about to die. Maybe you'd sacrifice yourself, but would you so easily condemn your father, mother, siblings, lover, children, and everyone else you care for, if they could all be given eternal life instead of decrepit old age then death?

I have to be the only person who was turned off because future Twilight says that, ponies should be immortal, I disagree, things should die, and nothing should last forever. Death is a natural part of life. Taking that away would mean horrible things. Also what if someone wants to grow old and die naturally, are they told that they are not allowed, also I think not everybody in the future likes to be immortal, I mean, if people only die from accidents and not peacefully in there beds, I am sorry, but nobody can just say "well you can't, now keep living."

I will still favourite and like it because I will admit, it brought up something I never thought of before.

5824350

I would not waste my time with Alondro. Alondro is mendacious. I caught him in a lie:

On the Glassblower, he claimed that the voter-turnout in parts of Philadelphia are 110% of the registered voters. When I called him on it, he could not support his ridiculous claim.

5825240
Uh...wow, you certainly took my comment out of context. I was only speaking on the fact that immortality pretty much guarantees a complete halt on genetic progress and diversity. I said NOTHING about everything else you just brought up, or a purely natural lifestyle.

Progress is fine. Civilization is great. The progression of civilization is great. Heck, there are even benefits to no one ever dying ever, such as the opportunity to continue to grow more knowledgeable, more intelligent, and so on. It also presents a massive problem in regards to the diversification of mentalities and perspectives, and I don't even want to consider the things that might seem a bit less important to most at first, such as boredom and the tedium of repetition.

Tell me, do you enjoy playing Chess? Try playing it a thousand times in a row. Or, heck, why not just play it every other day, and when you get tired of it, go and read a book on Quantum Theory or something for the next few weeks over and over. Because that's what immortality's going to be like. Sure, the world has numerous forms of entertainment, things to hold your interest, things to keep your mind occupied and your body active and YOU happy. But eventually, even after spreading out into outer space, that's going to stop. That stuff's going to stop being entertaining. What then? Nothing is infinite. Something's got to give, and it's either going to be you, or it's going to be the joys of life and THEN you.

My point is, there are advantages and disadvantages to living forever, in perfect health. It sounds great on the surface, and the trade-off may seem great to you at first, but inevitably unforeseen problems are going to rear their ugly head. Not to mention that there's no way Future Twilight could've run tests to determine if this was the best option for fixing the 'plague', so this moreso seems like her brazenly deciding that she was right because she's been alive a long time and is one of the smartest people around, so she's just gonna DO IT, screw what anyone else thinks.

Oh yeah, there's the other issue that can come with infinite life: utter arrogance and feelings of superiority. But, y'know, an infinite lifespan plus arrogance isn't BAD or anything...right Discord?

The change in personality of Princess Twilight Sparkle is interesting:

I suspect that the personality of immortals with have a basic theme with variation over time. This story definitely explores the variations.

5825392 Play chess a thousand times in a row? Study quantum theory for a few months? There are ways to make these interesting. You are not forced to do only the boring version, even if you are immortal. Claiming otherwise is like claiming that knowing the mathematics and physics of how rainbows work somehow makes them less awesome, rather than letting one appreciate them even more.

That said, immortality is not for everyone (or everypony, in this case), and there are issues with forcing it unasked. Some really would prefer to die, eventually. Future Twilight might be on dubious moral ground if not for the fact that she can credibly claim to have been on no moral ground: this was what happened, so from her point of view she had no choice or agency - just like the last time she time traveled (where she was clearly trying to change the past).

The fact that you decided to end it like that, with no bonus nor sequel no sidestory nor spinoff nor epilogue makes this a near perfect story

5825416
...You missed the point entirely. My point was, regardless of how many ways you can come up with to make Quantum Theory fun to learn about, eventually if you live forever, you're going to have every opportunity you need to learn every last thing you possibly could about it. The same can be said for anything you can possibly learn. It may be impossible to learn everything there is to possibly know that is available to you within an average mortal lifespan, but it's certainly possible if you can live forever. The same can be said for Chess. You play it enough, you're no longer looking only ten moves ahead. You KNOW every possible move for any given layout of pieces on the board. You recognize the patterns. There is no longer a point to playing the game because everyone around you is as immortal as you are, and all are as good at Chess as you are. You know only five or so moves in who's going to win, so what's the point of continuing to play?

But hey, you've got nothing else to do, so just veg out and fall into infinitesimal repetition in front of your chess board for a few hundred games! Maybe by the time a few hundred YEARS have passed, there'll be something new for you to do in the universe. If you can bring yourself to wait that long.

You are indeed correct, however, in assuming that immortality's not for everyone, though that's debatable since no one can really know if immortality's 'for them' until they've gone through with it. Much like how Twilight couldn't possibly have known whether or not giving everyone immortality was the best decision without actually going through with it. However, this 'going into the past' cycle had to start somewhere, which means that Twilight had to make the active decision to do this whole immortality thing to everyone of her own volition at some point, thus prompting her to decide to go back in time. So no, there is no moral exemption for Twilight, no matter what iteration of her goes through with it.

Nothing. Is. Infinite. That includes your enthusiasm for the things you enjoy or do just to pass the time, including the sight of the rainbows that you would likely know the workings of inside and out. Might explain why Discord seems so eager to be random: he's desperately trying to find random ways to entertain himself because everything else is just so BORING in how predictable and normal it is.

5821525 There's always the Mirror and the EQG universe available.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!