Twilight Sparkle, the hoof-picked protégé of Princess Celestia herself, has come a long way in her studies. She is no longer the shut-in she once was. With help from her friends, she achieved something eluded even the great wizard Starswirl the Bearded. She is now an alicorn as well as Equestria's newest princess. It is a time of celebration for all of Equestria, especially for her close friends.
However, somepony seems to have thrown a wrench into mix. He has secretly aged Spike through the use of a rare herb. Unable to identify him, the Mane 6 instead focus on the task of reversing the herb's effects. But it has proven to be much more difficult than simply blasting Spike with some age reversing magic. Now, the ponies find themselves at the top of a mountain, far into the Frozen North. They find Tall Tale, a professor from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns who is currently studying the frost dragons that dwell in the mountains.
Unfortunately, the same pony who had aged Spike has now taken the Elements of Harmony, but this only seems to be a single step in a deeper, more sinister plan...
Special thanks to RQK and Man on the Moon for editing the story so far as well as an ex-editor for the story, Sourichan.
Another thanks to Avatar of Madness for the covert art.
As a secondary note, this story was thought up and written pre-Seasons 4 and 5. It takes a different route than the canon from the end of Season 3 forward. An AU tag may or may not be added, as may other tags as they become relevant. Just as well, the short and long summaries will be updated as the story progresses.
This intrigues me.
5824312
Thanks for being the first to review the story! I'm glad the story at least interests you. I hope it can live up to that interest as it goes on.
Somedragon is getting all the mares. Wink wink!
5826571
If I can spoil something minor to the story... You don't even know how close you got to guessing this right. The only thing that's off is it's not the mares I believe you're thinking of.
Sorry for the super late response. Been pretty busy lately. Also, thanks for reading!
U bet not turn him into no alicorn
and way to much one oc involvement
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How would I do that? I suppose you're talking about Cloud Slider, he's pegasus with no affinity to magic as far as been seen so far. I guess there are other stories out there that have some deus ex machina type of plot devices that people came up with to make their OCs into alicorns. But, I don't consider this a spoiler because it's just such an annoying trope that you're justified for hating (and which I also find kinda hackneyed and usually unnecessary), he will not be going to go all alicorn at any point in the story.
But take note that I do have an OC character tag. If they were not going to play an important part in the story, I wouldn't have it. However, it won't become OC-centric, not by a long-shot.
Other than that, thanks for reading and commenting! Hope you continue to enjoy the story!
5956450 oh ok its just some stories start off good then change to (self-insert)Oc and the mane 6. So if your not making this oc-centered I'll keep reading since I like the story anyway
5958155
Thanks for the comment. Hope you enjoy the story!
And this is where the story get's into bad OC territory. I was fine with Cloud Slider being simply a regular pony who happens to get involved in the girls mess, or maybe even has something to do with what happened to Spike, judging by how he was trying to get out of helping the girls.
But tying him into Spike's origin is just lame. It's a horrible way to try and make a character who up till now has been written as simply a normal citizen seem important.
6073310
I do somewhat see your point, but the reason he seemed like a normal citizen was because he had a life before meeting the girls. From my own research into OCs in this fanbase (as well as others), most OCs seemed to have just floated in space before appearing in the story. They weren't affected or had no effect on plot elements within the canon of the story (where applicable, that is). They may have a past, aka a backstory, but they have no links to the story that do not seem... intrusive. This is where I would split from your line of thought. While the finding of Spike's egg was an important event, it was also a random event in which he gets his cutie mark. As we have seen in the show, these cutie mark events can range from very openly important to just personally important.
From the story, you can see Celestia only recognized him AFTER seeing him again. She did not keep an eye on him after the event with the egg. She didn't even know he had become a courier and was vying to become a royal courier, which can be inferred if you take into account that Twilight had informed Celestia that they had been looking for a courier. While you're right in that he did participate in an event that made him momentarily important, it can be inferred that he did not do anything noteworthy after that and simply lived a normal life... that is, until the events of the first chapter.
I can reveal why exactly I set it up this way but that would really kill the subtly of the whole thing. If you'd really like to know, I can reveal it over PM, but I'd rather limit the spoilers in the comments, so I would have to ask you to keep it under your hat. I understand the frustration for seeing this kind of cliched type of event, but at the same time, the job of writer is to take these types of cliches and put an original spin on them. While the spin isn't exactly apparent right now (though if you look really carefully, you can start to see hints of it), event is laid out believably, at least in my opinion. I could have easily made so many mistakes that others do, such as having Cloud Slider fight off the Timberwolves himself, regardless of his age, or I could have had him be some brave explorer as a colt and happened upon the egg during one of his daring adventures.
In any case, I should thank you for being interested enough in the story to post a comment, especially since it was a criticism.
6079757 I'll take your word for now that him having found Spike's egg is important later. Just know that for now the inclusion of it feels very Gary Stu because as of now it serves no purpose other then to try and make him seem more important then he really is, and adds nothing of value to his character besides tying him in someway to the other character's back-stories.
"or I could have had him be some brave explorer as a colt and happened upon the egg during one of his daring adventures."
Honestly that wouldn't be a bad way to do it. It's a more believable, and he doesn't need to be a hero on an adventure to come across the egg that way. I've seen plenty of stories where Spike egg is revealed to have been found by an pony archeologist studying dragons or dragon nests. Making them finding it simply the result of their normal job.
There are also some other things about him that seem off. Mainly his trying to avoid helping Twilight or the others. If he's really trying to become a royal courier and knows he would be assigned to Twilight, then shouldn't he be bending over backward to help her and gain her favor?
6084647
While I'll admit that it is very convenient, it isn't Gary Stu-ish. I don't blame you for being so suspicious because, to a certain extent, you're right. But although Gary Stus do usually include this type of "tying-in" events, just because a character is tied to another through some mutual past event doesn't make that character a Gary Stu. If you also provided some other examples in which Cloud Slider has some other attributes of Gary Stus, I would probably be more worried that I somehow screwed up in his design. Also, again, there are some subtle things I add in there. Some things that you can only see if you look at his story as a whole. You definitely got one part down pat. He seems like a regular citizen, a normal guy.
But that type of introduction breaks canon, unless taking place in some alternate universe. Remember, the ponies have almost no knowledge of dragons whatsoever. Excavating dragon nests would undoubtedly yield some information about dragons that would be enough to justify writing a book about it. which, you would think, Twilight would have encountered at some point. By making it a random event in which Cloud Slider did not even realize that it was a dragon egg he found, it very minimally interferes with canon while explaining an event that seems to be kinda paradoxical. Of course, my version of the event still isn't flawless as it relies heavily on the "fate" factor.
That's good you noticed that. That is one thing I tried to highlight. While I could reveal his personality very openly and clearly, that's not how you determine people's personalities in real life. They usually try to hide their real personalities behind some superficial personality when they first meet people, but they can never hide them perfectly. Think about these things: Although his goal is clear and, according to his boss, it is also obvious that he is good at his job, isn't it also strange that he hasn't been promoted yet? It's also kind of weird that he keeps fighting with Rainbow Dash too. What I'm going for here is subtly. There is obviously some more to his own backstory than he feels comfortable sharing and it relates to these factors as well as the one that you brought up.
All in all, there is A LOT going on. A lot of events and a lot of personal issues within the characters, as I tried to highlight with the Rarity/Spike and Luna/Celestia relationships and Twilight's self-expectations as a new princess.
Please tell me Spike get's the emerald? Also was the colt that wanted to buy the egg from him Filthy Rich? So far I like the story and unlike other people I don't feel Cloud is to Gary Stu, get coltknapped doesn't sound all powerful to me.
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So... uh... I messed up...
Some of you may have noticed a rather large "missing section" between chapters 6 and 7. I accidentally posted chapter 8 INSTEAD of chapter 7. I have corrected the mistake and posted the right chapter. My original plan was to upload around every two weeks, but I'll repost chapter 8 early since I kinda already leaked it. Expect it to reappear some time next week.
img00.deviantart.net/d100/i/2015/244/3/d/his_ladys_honor_by_hillbe-d982b0w.jpg Oops
oops
horse apples!
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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I just wanted to thank you. You've been a very loyal fan, with all your commenting. Honestly, it's fans like you that help me continue the story, even when the story isn't receiving the attention (I believe) it deserves. Of course, I'm not exactly an unbiased party. Heh.
6914379 good Spike stories are hard to dig up
cool new chapters!!!!
So is it really a monarchy