• Published 4th Apr 2015
  • 1,809 Views, 21 Comments

My Past Does not Define Me - MLPEGRRR



Sunset Shimmer is now reformed, but everyone still avoids her, except Twilight's friends. She tries really hard to show that she has changed and hadn't meant what she had done. The new girl at Canterlot High doesn't make it much easier.

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The New Girl

Later on that same day, Sunset heard about a new student joining Canterlot High tomorrow. It had come on the speakers, directed towards the whole school. Principal Celestia was looking for a volunteer to show her around, so she wouldn't feel left out.

Sunset brightened even more when she heard this. The new kid wouldn't be aware of what she had done at the Fall Formal, and might be a chance to gain a new friend. The minute the speakers turned off, she was bursting into Celestia's office.

"Principal Celestia, I volunteer." she said. The principal nodded and wrote Sunset's name down on a notepad.

"You sure seem excited about this new student." she mentioned. "Any particular reason?"

"No. I just thought, um, maybe no one would volunteer because they're too busy?" Sunset shrugged.

"I see. Well, off you go. Don't want to be late for class."


The next morning, at school, Sunset had just finished lunch and thrown her trash away, when the speakers came on again.

Sunset Shimmer, please report to the office.

It was Vise Principal Luna's voice. Sunset knew exactly what this was for.

"Gotta run." she told her 5 newest friends. "I volunteered to show the new girl around. It might be a good opportunity to get her on my side." She speed-walked down the hallway to the office, where a yellow girl with blue and black hair, done up in a braid on the side of her head, waited for her.

"Hi! You must be the girl I'm supposed to show around!" Sunset greeted her cheerfully. "What's your name?"

"It's none of your business." the girl answered. "But I will tell you it. Sea Glimmer." Sunset cringed at the rudeness in her voice. It almost sounded a bit like her own had been a few months ago...

"Nice to meet you, Sea Glimmer." Sunset also thought it was weird saying her name, which also sounded like hers. But the thought slipped away since there were probably millions of girls with names that sounded like hers. "I'm Sunset Shimmer." She went ahead and started the tour, pointing out all the rooms and their names.

When Sunset had finished, Sea Glimmer said, "Nice school you've got here. Thanks, I guess." Sunset smiled awkwardly as Sea walked away. When she was gone, Sunset sighed and let the fake smile slip away. That did not go as well as she had hoped. But she still couldn't get over how strange this new girl was...

Comments ( 19 )

Is this based off of the amazing music video?:rainbowkiss:

5821198 Yep! It inspired me to write this, since it was so awesomely amazing! :pinkiecrazy:

5821203 IKR!!! I just read it. I really love this FIC so far:heart: faving it

5821223 Awesome! Thanks!:twilightsmile:

5821316 Oh. When it's fixed, check what I sent you. :rainbowlaugh: :ajbemused:

5821447 Me too! Best song EVER!! :pinkiehappy:

I have to admit, I almost had a heart attack when I saw "Glimmer". Apparently I really have Season Five (coming out tomorrow! Squee!) on the brain, because I thought it was Starlight Glimmer...

5821454 Me too. I couldn't think of a name, and that came to mind!

This is good for a 1st story. It starts off telly and the chapters are a bit short:

If chapters are short, readers continuously have to click on the next chapter. If chapters are too long, readers cannot find the time for reading them. An example of the reverse is Background Pony:

I got a recommendation to read Background Pony, but the chapters are 20k long. I cannot find hours for reading a single chapter, so have not read it.

A good rule of thumb is 1 to 2 k for chapter. The reader neither clicks continuously the next-button, but each chapter only takes 10 to 20 minutes to read.

You use numerals for numbers instead of words. This goes against the style-guides. In this chase, I say screw the style-guides:

Usability-research shows that readers find it much easier to extract facts and figures from paragraphs of text, if the figures and in numerals instead of words because the numerals stand out against the text. The rule goes back to teachers making students write numbers just so they learn how to spell the numbers. I say that it is more important that the reader find facts and figures embedded in text than writers practice spelling numbers.

5821601 Thanks for the tip! :pinkiehappy: I'll try to make future chapters longer!

5821610
5821601
I agree it's really good but waaayyy too short my good man/girl/both/whatever you are
FAVED!!!!

5821685 :rainbowderp: Woah!! Slow down! :rainbowlaugh:

5821692 I dont know whos a boy or a cybernetic fying pan! gotta guess all the time ya know!:pinkiecrazy:

5821758 Um...I'm a girl. :rainbowderp:

5821763 See my strategy worked I now know you are a girl!

5821769 Nice strategy. I should try it sometime...:pinkiecrazy:

Has potential but the chapters are WAY too short.

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