Norm, Genie of The Dazzlings

by Aku

Super Special Non-Canon Chapter One Go!

Author's Note:

Happy Birthday oh fic of mine! Yup, it's been one year since I first started this on a lark. So I thought I should write something for it, and I really don't know what happened here. it kind of just went it's own direction.

I'm not sorry though.

Using every bit of sneakiness that she possessed (which was actually a fair bit), Sonata carefully sneaked her way sneakily into the living room, making extra sure to avoid dragging her satchel into anything. It wouldn't die to give her position away. She didnt want to hurt what was inside. Today was a very, very important day, and she was determined to make it a great very, very important day. Carefully, Sonata creeped up behind the couch, directly behind Aria and Adagio, ignoring Norm's questioning look, Sonata leaned forward. The sack squirmed a bit, but Sonata choose to ignore it.

"Happy anniversary!" Sonata shouted at the top of her lungs, startling the two sitting girls so badly, they fell out of their seats. In the background, the T.V let out a round of laughs as it continued doing it's one job. Well, it did, until a sandal was thrown through it courtesy of an irate Aria. The two downed Dazzlings turned to yell at their idiotic third member, only to stop as two rather large presents were shoved rather abrubtly into their faces. "I brought presents!" The blue girl chirped. The more sane members of the trio accepted their gifts, while Norm looked on with a frown.

"What, nothing for me?" Norm asked with a scowl. Sure he could gong up whatever he wanted but it was the principal of the thing.

"Of course not silly, these are our anniversary gifts, gifts for us surviving another year with eachother, you've only been stuck with us for a week and some days."

"Well it feels like a year." Norm muttered to himself, before slinking away muttering something that strongly implied that Canada would not be having a good day.

Meanwhile, Aria and Adagio were eyeing their gifts suspiciously. Sonata had a habit of gifting things that were either A) dangerous, B) stolen or C) illegal and or immoral. Aria still had nightmares from the time Sonata had given her a 'baby' tiger for her birthday that she had stolen from the zoo. The 'baby' had actually been an adolescent and had weighed about twice as much as she had. She was lucky the thing had only mildly mauled her before it escaped out the window. And by mildly maul, she means it only scratched her to hell instead of tearing off an arm or causing other serious damage. Still, she was both traumatized and ticked off by the incident. Adagio was lucky, she had only been arrested three times do to Sonatas 'gifts', and deported once.

So it was with great reluctance that the two opened their presents.

"Sonata are these...tasers?" Adagio asked tentatively, lifting said item carefully out of its box.

Aria accidentally pressed a button on the side, causing her non lethal tool of self defense to start with a zap.

"Yup!" Sonata once again chirped, before dragging her sack around the couch so the others could see it. "I wanted to get guns, but they wouldn't sell me any. Apparently you need to be eighteen-not that I'm not, but they wouldn't take my 'immortal siren' explanation seriously- and pass a psychological exam or something. And then you got to get a permit and wait and blah blah blah." Sonata used her hand to mime some one talking while rolling her eyes. "It sounded like a lot of work, so I grabbed some tasers instead!"

"And why do we need tasers?" Aria asked in honest curiosity. She actually liked it, the idea of briefly electrocuting someone appealing to her violent side, and it wasn't illegal. What she wanted to know was why Sonata thought it would be a good idea. Especially since her original plan was guns.

"I thought, since we're mortal now, we could use some self defense. Also, have you tried making popcorn with a taser? It's delicious! And it's way faster than using a stupid microwave!"

"If you say so." Adagio muttered, before pointing at the struggling sack. "What's in the bag?"

Instead of answering, Sonata grinned fiendishly and opened the bag, revealing a bound and gagged Sunset Shimmer in a set of 'My Little Marsupial' pajamas. The bound equestrian turned human blinked to adjust to the light, before glaring tiredly at her captor. It was obvious that the bound girl had been crying, out of rage or fear was unclear, and had bags under eye's.

"Ta-da!" Sonata exclaimed.

"Sonata," Adagio began, voice dangerously low, "why is Sunset fezzing Shimmer bound and gagged in a sack!"

"Because she didn't fit in my duffle bag."

Aria stopped playing with her taser and narrowed her eye's, "Sonata, you don't have a duffel bag."

"Yes I do! It's purple, and has little pink ball things eating ice-cream on it!"

Aria growled, "That's my Kirby bag, and you know it!"

"Ya well, sharing is caring Aria!" Sonata stuck her tongue out at her fellow siren, feeling smug about her witty reply.

"Enough!" Adagio cut in before the argument could continue. "Now Sonata, why did you grab Sunset Shimmer?"

"Because she was the only one I could grab! I mean, I tried to get Flutterby, but she has, like, a hundred animals guarding her place! I think I even saw a bunny in a tank! And I couldn't remember which one was Rarity when I got to her place, and Rainbow Dash is off at some spots thingy, I kinda like Pinkie Pie, Purple Smart is in our old dimension and I don't know where Applesmack lives. So I had to grad Sunset." Sonata counted off each reason, raising a finger for each, and completely ignoring the looks of utter disbelief on the other three's faces.

Adagio raised a finger, looked like she was about to asked something, then stopped, thought about it and sighed. "Ignoring that, how long has she been in the sack, because honestly, she looks like cra-". She was suddenly cut off as Sonata placed her hand over her mouth.

"Language!" Sonata shouted, "There are young ears present." She pointed at the still bound and gagged Sunset, who was wobbling unsteadily from where she was kneeling on the floor.

Aria scoffed, "Really?"

"Yes, really." Sonata huffed, placing her hands on her hips, "I will not stand by and allow our youth to be corrupted by such foul language."

"But it's okay to kid nap them and shove them in a sack?"

"That's different." Sonata scoffed, waiving her hand dismissively.

"Ya? How so?" Adagio asked, arms crossed. Beside her Sunset collapsed, stomach growling fiercely, and managed to let out a pitiful moan.

"This is revenge! It has no rules!" Sonata shouted before flinging her arms in the air.

"So, wait. You kidnapped Sunset Shimmer in the name of revenge?"

"Yup, I mean, it's not like you were doing anything about it, so I thought, 'why not make gift of it?' So now we can do whatever we want to her for taking our powers!"

The three sirens as one gazed down at the bound Sunset, who could only let out a small whimper as they all adopted wicked smiles.

[lb]

Norm gonged back to the house much happier then when he left, though he immediately regretted returning as he was assaulted by what could only be compared to a cat going through a wood chipper whilst dragging its claws against a black board in a desperate attempt to save itself. In other words, the de-powered Dazzling's were singing. Gonging himself temporarily deaf, Norm took a moment to take in the scene before him without the horrendous sound causing him pain. His three mistresses were standing before a girl he barely recognized as Sunset Something-or-other bound to the couch. They had a karaoke machine before them, a collection of snacks on the coffee table and smiling the biggest smiles even as the poor bound girl screamed bloody murder. Or maybe it was because she was in such obvious distress. Either way, he felt a small amount of pity for the girl.

Norm sent the girl a small, pitiful look, before moving towards the kitchen. He could really use some taser popcorn after a long day of torturing Canada.

Comments

[aidenmc3]

I am now going to try to make taser popcorn. Wish me luck

[Aku]

7109582 luck. You need to use jiffy pop, dosent work otherwise.

[HB_DS2013]

You need a certain brand of popcorn to make taser popcorn?

[Campanula Monkshood]

Happy story-versary, Norm!

[Aku]

7109965 Yes. Only Jiffy Pop pops with a taser. (Warning Aku is not responsible for any injures caused through attempting to pop popcorn with a taser.)

[Aku]

7110537 Thanks!

[TheRedButcher]

So that's it then?

[devildog452]

That's not it is it?

[Aether Spark]

So now this good story is dead and we'll never know if sunset escaped or not...

[IndigoStorm27]

7110694
Why do I find myself reading this in Aku's voice?
Also, why do I imagine Aku having a conversation with Samurai Jack about taser popped popcorn?
These are legitemate questions.

[Kichi]

Is the story going to continue?