I'm a Swinging G-E-N-I-E
Norm sulked in his lamp, laying on his couch while glaring at the dart filled image of that brat, Timmy Turner. He had no idea how the kid managed to get his lamp from Francis, he had helped the bully hide the damn thing, but the kid found it and forced him back in his lamp before he could finish his 'master's' wish. He swore the kid had the most improbable of luck. Stuck with Vicky and having clueless parents who are ready to abandon him for a chance of fun, yet no villain, even an all powerful genie like himself, can beat him. It's like he's made of deus ex machina.
Norm growled as he gonged up another dart, before expertly tossing it at the Timmy poster, where it landed between the kids eyes. Norm had been peeved by the brat before, but had been comforted by the fact he could try again later, having tricked that whack Crocker into wishing that his lamp would always land in front of someone, instead of just somewhere random. But now, now, "Damn Turner and his lawyers!"
The irritated genie let out his fury on the defenseless, dart filled poster, reducing it to scattered bits of atoms. Apparently Turner found him to be to much of a nuisance to be left alone anymore and decided to get rid of him. A nuisance! Not even a threat, but something bothersome. If he was honest that's what was really bothering him, not Turner using that damn lawyer to create an iron clad wish to banish him with. That's not to say he wasn't peeved about that either, he was, but, really? He, a magical genie is considered a nuisance? He growled at the thought.
The pink hatted wonder had wished up, with his half-wit fairies, a crack team of lawyers to write out a wish that would leave Norm unable to do anything to Turner. Hell, it even prevented him from being in the same universe! Talk about the ultimate restraining order. And, to add insult to injury, Turner had forced him to carry out the wish himself, making sure that even after he eventually lost his fairies, Turner was eternally safe from Norm's wrath.
"How?" Norm screamed in rage, shooting up from his spot on his couch and literally exploding in a fit of rage, "How could I lose to the bucked-tooth brat! He's eleven! It shouldn't have been that hard!" The genie floated there for a few seconds fuming in rage and indignity, spewing insults and swearing revenge, before slowly bringing himself down into a more calm state and slid back into his sofa, cupping his head in his hands. "Ah, what's the point? The kid got me, there's nothing I can do. I mean, hell, he even got those lawyers of his to make it so I can't even trick some half-wit into wishing me back. I give up." The genie gave a sigh of resolution. He wasn't normally one to just give up, but he had read the wish-contract that Turners lawyers had churned out, and the thing was like smoof, he just couldn't get out of it.
'Perhaps it was all for the best.' Norm couldn't help but think, even though the traitorous thought caused him to cringe a little. 'I've become obsessed with ending Turner. I mean, by god, I managed to get a week of free time out of that Francis kid, and what did I do with it? Plot Turner's demise! I should have been out there in the company of a few lonely she-genies, not plotting to destroy some kid.' Norm let out a groan. 'I guess I'll just have to settle for taking my frustrations out on the next half-wit to find my lamp.'
The lamp began to fill with smoke, which wound itself around the genie, causing him to roll his eye's. "And speaking of half-wits . . ." Norm was whisked away with the smoke, which flew up towards the top of the lamp, and out into the outside world. As he was summoned, he couldn't help but idly note that it appeared that that crack pot's wish still worked, even in a different universe. With the usual dramatics, Norm made his way out of the lamp, already thinking of ways to make his new master as miserable as possible.
Not even sparing a glance at the no doubt pathetic excuse of a human to find his lamp, Norm snapped his fingers, and with the ever present gong, summoned an all to familiar note card and began to read, "Hello *insert humans name here*, my name is Norm," He decided to get fancy and gonged up a large read sign with 'Norm: Magical Genie' on it, "And I shall be your genie today."
Norm looked up from his well used queue card to get a good look at his current master, well, masters, and just had to curse his luck. There, holding his lamp frozen in mid fight, were three girls. Three homeless girls if their looks and the house around them were anything to go by. Clothes that looked more like rags, dirt matted hair and skin, and rather thin frames that indicated they had not been getting much to eat. And the house around them, if it could be called that, looked like a single spark would light it up. "Aww fez, I hate it when I'm right." He mumbled under his breath. The three in front of him were undeniably pathetic. Hell, he was half tempted to just gong them up some new clothes and a pile of sandwiches on the spot. However, that might give them the idea he was nice, which he really wasn't. On the other hand he wasn't a total jerk, and it looks like these kids already had it pretty rough already.
'Damn, why couldn't it have some bratty rich kid. Or a Canadian, one of these days, Canada, one of these days.'
"Adagio, do you see that too?" The one with blue hair and matching blue skin, something he noticed and dismissed as unimportant, asked in what was clearly supposed to be a whisper. Supposed to be a whisper as she said it loud enough that Norm didn't even need to use magic to hear her.
"Yeah, I'm seeing it. And I'm not believing it." The orange one in the middle, Adagio if the blue one was to be believed, stepped forward with as much confidence as she could muster. She walked right up to the genie, who was just floating there with an raised brow, before poking him in the chest. "If you really are a genie, prove it."
Norm stared down at the girl in front of him incredulously. "Really, kid?"
"Yes, really." Adagio said with a smirk, walking back to her two companions. "If you really are a genie, it should be little trouble for you to prove yourself."
Norm rolled his eyes behind his glasses, 'Such an obvious ploy.' "And I suppose my entrance wasn't proof enough?"
"There was a lot of smoke, you could have set up anything." She countered.
"I'm floating."
"Wires in the ceiling."
"I don't have legs."
"Costume."
Norm leaned in so that their noses almost touched, "You and your friends are all clean and wearing brand new clothes."
Adagio blinked. "Wha~?" The two girls let out a shocked gasp behind her. Turning around sharply, the girl was greeted with her two fellows in fresh outfits and nearly sparklingly clean. With a quick look down she confirmed that she to was one hundred percent clean.
Norm smirked as he watched the three examine their new clothing in wonder. He was almost positive Adagio would think she out smarted him, tricking him into giving her something for free as proof of his magic. He was fine with that. It was better than letting them know he did it out of pity. Sure he was a jerk, all genies were, but that didn't mean he was a bad guy. These kids were worse off than nearly any other master he had had in a long while. They were obviously orphans or runaways, the old crappy house had signs they had been living here for awhile.
"Wait, how did you know our exact sizes?" The purple one asked suspiciously.
"I have this thing called magic, kid. Lets me do all kinds of neat stuff. Like snapping up some perfectly fitting clothes without knowing the specifics." He smirked as the blue one laughed a little, gaining a frown from the purple one. "Now that we have established that I am a genie, let's kick back," He gonged up a rather nice black sofa, before gonging them all onto it, "relax and learn a little bit about this wonderful world of genies!"
With another snap a large T.V. gonged into existence, before suddenly turning on. After a bit of static the screen showed a bright pink background with the words 'So you got yourself a genie?' on it.
"Ah, genies. You got to love us." Norm's voice came from the screen as the film began to play. Norm, who was floating over the sofa sipping from a glass of water, answered the unasked question of the girls beside him. "We wanted to get Bill Murray to narrate for us, but he canceled at the last second, so I had to step in." He took a long sip, "I think I did alright."
The video continued, "I mean, uh, one. We got a really cool hat." Norm appeared on screen with a large smile, with a arrow pointing at his fez. The scene changed to a fisherman in a turban rubbing a oil lamp, releasing a stereotypical genie. "And two, we can do anything as long as we're doing it for some idiot human that rubbed our lamp. And it always goes the same way. Wish one? Something stupid," The fisherman mumbled something unintelligible before the genie snapped his fingers, making a giant sandwich appear, "Like a giant sandwich or something."
"Someone is actually stupid enough to waste a wish like that?" Adagio asked, not seeing the crest fallen look on the blue ones face.
'I should probably ask their names at some point.' Norm thought. "Yeah, that whole sandwich thing is actually why we bothered making this video."
"What a bunch of idiots." Purple sneered. Blue slumped further. Clearly she was one of those who would wish for a giant sandwich.
"The second wish," The video Norm continued, "A big reality changer. Something to do with money, and power." The man on screen mumbled something again and suddenly there was a giant palace with banners barring his face all over the place, before the scene moved in on him being surrounded by women and gold. Adagio perked up instantly at the mention of power, making Norm smirk as his video self went on to the next part. "Until it goes horrible awry. Which it always does." The man was tossed in jail and Adagio sunk back into her seat.
"And then comes the third wish."
"I wish I never met you!" The man screamed, causing the genie to be sucked back into his lamp as the world around the man went back to how it was during the first scene.
"Where we get sucked back into our lamp." The movie ended with a white screen with the words 'The End. Filmed in Genie World, USA.'
Norm snapped his fingers, causing the T.V to vanish and looked over at his masters. Purple was doing her best to remain indifferent, Adagio was smirking, and blue, well, was in his face with the biggest smile he had ever seen.
"So," She began, drawing it out, "We can wish for anything? Anything at all?"
"Yup." Norm replied, "Any three things, rule free. Though, you have to share with those two." He was half expecting her to be put out at the prospect of sharing, but she just kept her smile.
"Then I wish for unlimited wishes!"
'What.' Norm thought in surprise, he was pretty sure his jaw dropped. Normally someone would ask before wishing for that, allowing the genie to give their usual bluff, and even if the human wasn't a complete idiot and called their bluff, they would only wish for three more. And even at that they would often forget to renew the wish after the second set. 'Aww, smoof. Can this get day get any better? I'm going to be stuck granting these three wishes forever! Well, until they're dead. But I got to give it to her, she went big. I mean, infinite wishes? Normally a kid would need a fairy for that.' That was when an idea struck the genie. 'Oh, this is going to be good.'
"Sonata, you idiot, you can't wish for that!" Purple said in annoyance.
The newly dubbed Sonata looked over at Purple with confusion. "Why not?"
"Because it's against the rules. Haven't you ever seen the movies?" Adagio replied in exasperation.
"But he said there were no rules." Sonata replied meekly. She let out a small 'eep' in surprise when the genie wrapped an arm around her from behind.
"And so I did kid. Three wishes, no rules. And that includes wishing for wishes." He said with a smirk, which only widened at the wide eyes of the other two. Sonata was smiling in joy at having been right about something.
"You mean we get. . .?" Adagio began hesitantly, seemingly unable to comprehend her good fortune.
"Infinite wishes? Yes ma'am." Norm replied. "You know," Norm began, raising his hand, "I think this is the beginning," He readied his thumb and middle finger , "of a beautiful friendship."
Gong!
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besides a few grammar issues, this is honestly a good start. Norm has, and always will be, one of my favorite FOP villains. Seeing him finally paired with a group as bitter as him will be something to keep watch on.
5839315 Thanks, yeah I tried to get all my errors…but I didn't. I noticed a distinct lack of Norm here and tried to fix it.
What I'm seeing thus far? I'm liking.
I like. I like.
Oooh, this has a lot of potential.
5839451
5839478
5839494 Glad you enjoy, hope I don't disappoint.
This shows immense promise as a premise. Also, interesting use of the "you can wish for more wishes" clause that Norm explained to Crocker. After all, Norm never said there was a limit on the Number of additional wishes one could ask for. This does bear potential for over abuse though, so I would like to pitch an idea, feel free to ignore it, the Dazzlings (since they rubbed the lamp together) have to take turns when making wishes. Each would get three wishes at a time before the next siren got her turn.
It's just a thought though.
5839522 This is an interesting idea. I actually went through a few limitation ideas myself, one was to limit the number of wishes a day, another was to have the wishes horribly backfire unless they we're painfully specific. But in the end I decided on something similar to this.
5839577
Backfiring wishes are a mandatory thing when Norm is the Genie.
5839690 of course. That's why I dismissed it as the main limitation
this..is gonna be good
5839794 I hope so.
Looks like this could be funny. There are a few grammar issues I noticed, however, such as:
Should be:
Also:
Should be:
Also, I believe the preferred way to show thought is usually by italicizing it rather than putting it in single quotation marks.
5839936 Thanks for that, though I actually ment to put their death. And I have always used single quotations for thought and italization for emphasis.
Norm... Norm... oh wow, that Norm? Damn it's been forever since I've seen that!
I'm putting the timer on 'I wish we had our full siren magic back' in the next... ten seconds? Ten minutes maybe?
5840516 Lol, but it's going to be fun to see how Norm twists it. He may feel bad for them, but that doesn't mean he's not going to have fun twisting their wishes.
5840616 'Fire-alarm type siren' magic.
5840621 Or maybe a manga titled 'Full Siren: Magic' or maybe he misunderstood and gongs up 'Fool Soarin' magic' or hell, gives them the magic, but not the ability to use it. Genies are tricky buggers.
5840642 Hence why lawyers are super-effective.
5840658 Norm: the genie pokemon. Type, Genie. Strong against, nearly everything. Weakness: Smoof, the Charms of Barbara Eden, Magic Lamps and Lawyers.
Wait dose that mean they can wish for their pendants and magic back?
5840735 Perhaps, or perhaps the power of harmony is enough to override that of a genie. You'll just have to wait and see, Mwhahahahaha!
5841076 Foolish fool! Aku is all about ponies!
Thanks for stopping by.
5841494 Who is this Mrs. Buzzy you speak of?
5841754 Fascinating.
5842882 Funny.
I'd like to see where this goes. Please continue it.
It's amazing how hard it can be to just wish someone to Mars.
Anyway, I found some typos for you:
You forgot the 'n' in 'in.'
He should see someone about that shedding problem. Or the extra 'r', whichever comes first.
The exact opposite of a Von Strangle Vacation.
Must be a pretty big banner if they only needed the one.
Ditto on the lady. To each his own, I suppose.
5843716 I know, right? Thanks, I'll get on those as soon as possible.
Now THIS is the kind of crossover fic I can get into. That and you got the characters down to a science. I am impressed.
5844275 Thank you. I must admit I was worried over my characterization, but people seem to approve.
Hoo boy, I bet the Rainbooms are in SOOOOO much trouble now!
5845253 Mars anyone?
This can only end one way
5846065 maybe, maybe not.
5840642 You could do something with them wishing to be hippocampi again (that's the formal name for their true forms, the horse-mermaid creatures) but the hippocampus is also the part of the brain that regulates memory.
5846670 A little memmory loss, or gain?
One day, Canada. One day...
For some reason, ever since I was like seven or so I've hated the country of Canada and always glared at the mere mention of that evil country's name...I think I remember just where that hatred came from now.
5840671 Supereffective when combined with the item: Fez
There's some things you may want to edit.
"master's"
"hatted" and "write".
"Turner's".
"pot's".
That comma should be at the end of "that".
"ceiling".
"Lets".
There should be a comma after "snap", and TV should either have two periods or zero.
"Norm's".
"met".
"eyes".
So, this is basically Fairy Odd Parents, but instead of Cosmo and Wanda we've got Norm, and instead of Timmy we've got the Dazzlings. Sure, why not?
Infinite wishes, with a troll of a genie, and three megalomaniacs. This is going to be awesome.
So if someone were to wish a deity like Thor or Surtur into existence for his or her 1st wish, then wish to have a fight with said deity to the death-still as a powerless, ordinary civilian-for his or her 2nd wish, then he or she is obviously going to die before getting to the 3rd wish. So...what happens to the genie if the last wish can never be made?