Six Trans Mares

by pertelote345

Rarity's Therapist.

Rarity

I'll admit it, I was nervous.

I had known many trans ponies, cross dressers and drag queens in my time as a fashionista. Some of them were good, some of them were indistinguishable from natural women.

I wasn't one of them.

I was stunningly handsome as a male, even I could see that, but that just meant every male feature looked worse in female dress. The lithe, muscled body, the strong, rigid jawline... It didn't work. It was impossible. Even with all my makeup and all my skill I couldn't make that handsome man a woman... Just an exceptionally ugly cross dresser.

Still, I'd given it my all.

"Miss Rarity?" The receptionist called with a patronizing smile. "The doctor will see you now."

I nodded, trying to look as thankful as I could. There were others in the waiting room so I didn't want to use my voice... It wasn't ready for the public ear.

I made my way to room 3B where I found myself in a quite tastefully decorated little office. There was not only the traditional couch, but a comfortable chair as well.

In another chair in the center of the room was an older unicorn stallion. He had kind eyes and a calming demeanor, but I don't think a full grown dragon could have been more intimidating given what we were about to discuss.

He gave me a soft smile. "Miss Rarity, please sit down."

I closed the door behind me and chose the chair. I wanted to be focused for this.

"Now, Miss Rarity you are here to discuss gender dysphoria correct?"

I gulped, not in anticipation, but to stretch my vocal chords (Okay, perhaps I was a tiny bit nervous... )

"Yes." I said, as high pitched as I could manage while avoiding falsetto.

He nodded. "Before we begin I just wanted to assure you you're safe in this office. I've worked with several trans ponies before and nothing you tell me will leave this room. I trust you have already seen the formal paperwork on this."

I had. "Thank you." I said, trying my best to keep my sentences short and my voice controlled. "How does this work exactly?"

He smiled. "Just tell me as much as you feel comfortable about how you realized you were a mare instead of a stallion and once I've collected enough data and made a diagnosis I'll write you a letter of approval to begin treatment. Now, if you don't mind, can you tell me a bit about how this started?"

I took in a breath, steadied my voice and began my tale. I told him how I'd always wanted to wear girl's clothes growing up. How I'd preferred dolls to trucks, how I'd begged my disapproving mother for a prom dress and how I'd smashed every mirror in my house when looking at my hideous face had become too much...

He nodded through it all, marking down notes. By the end he looked rather sad.

"Miss Rarity... You know I meant it when I said you were safe here?"

I blinked. "I'm sorry doctor I don't understand."

"Lies are not going to make my diagnosis simpler."

If I could have grown any paler I would have. "I- I just told you my darkest secrets! Everything that happened to me while..."

"You smashed every mirror in your house without getting a single cut on your hooves?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

I could feel sweat building up on my temple. "It... It was a long time ago, they've healed and-"

He held up a hoof. "Miss Rarity please. I know I'm a hurdle that trans ponies have to leap over, but I'm not some gatekeeper you have to fool. No one's story is that perfect. Even if you have some good days where you're just not thinking of your gender or you prefer hoof ball to ballet you would still be a solid candidate for hormones. So please, just tell me what's actually bothering you so I can help."

I shivered. The man could put Applejack to shame. "I- I-"

He gave me a very calm smile, "I understand the details may be painful, especially to relate to a stranger. Just tell me what you're comfortable with. Why are you here?"

There was no way out of it. I couldn't tell him that I'd woken up in a stallions body, but... There was another truth in the details.

"I'm... I'm a parody." I muttered.

He tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

I smiled ruefully "I'm gorgeous. Absolutely stunning. The most beautiful stallion I've ever seen... But it's not me."

I looked down. Real, genuine tears were starting to form. "I want to be beautiful my way. I know it sounds shallow, but I want my body to be a canvass to paint on, something I can... Something that I can at least see the potential in, whether I have bed-head or puffy eyes or..."

I grit my teeth. "There's a range in bodies. A spectrum between feminine and masculine. And while there's plenty of shapes and forms that overlap I just don't. I have a stupid sexy stallion's voice and a bulky jawline and I hate it. I hate it so much! Sometimes I'm angry about it, but mostly I just feel defeated. I'm a fashion designer for Celestia's sake! I should be able to... To look the way I want to look, but I can't.

I found myself curling slightly. "I've failed... Nothing I can do alone will make it better... I need help."

He smiled. "Now that, that was honesty."

He offered me a tissue. I accepted.

"Fear not." He said "I think we'll have no trouble helping you see yourself in the mirror."

He looked at his watch, frowning. "That said, we've chewed up a lot of time, I fear I'm already late for my next patient."

I blinked the tears away. I felt a shred of hope. "Of course... So, you'll write the letter?"

He nodded. "I'll need more information for it, but yes. See my receptionist for another appointment and we'll get this sorted out. I think I have some time next month."

I twitched. "I'm sorry what?"

He blinked. "You did see my receptionist didn't you? Her desk is-"

"Not that." I grimaced. "I'm terribly sorry, it's just. You want me to wait... another month for hormones?"

He held up his hooves. "Miss Rarity I understand you're in pain. However, it would be horrendously negligent to give you access to medications that will cause irreversible changes to your body without at least three sessions with you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "But- But you just said I was sincere! I told you the truth!"

He nodded, "You did, but hormone therapy is not something you should rush into. It will cause irreversible changes to your body and you need time to consider your options, to decide whether that is truly something you're willing to do."

I could barely contain myself. Did he think I hadn't had time to think while I was waiting the two weeks for this appointment? And presumably my entire life?

I took a deep breath. "Is there any way to get an earlier appointment?"

He leaned back, shaking his head. "I'm afraid I'm quite booked for the next four weeks, but if you wanted to speed things along you could probably get weekly appointments with my colleague in Fillydelphia. He just started up his practice and he's still building his client base so he should have more openings. I can give you a referral..."

My eye started twitching. "You expect me to go all the way to Fillydelphia multiple times to confirm exactly what you just confirmed?"

"Miss Rarity please, I hardly think that would be much trouble for a mare of your talents."

"Well I think that-" I stopped. "What talents?"

He tapped his horn. "The teleportation magic. I noticed that your aura had a tinge of it. Very subtle, but quite powerful. Tell me do you have formal training?"

I processed this. I hadn't been teleported by Twilight in ages... It... It could mean something!

There was a knock on the door. A griffon's beak poked in. "Doctor Warm Heart?" Came his voice.

The Doctor smiled. "Ah Miss Lilac do come in. Miss Rarity I understand this is a stressful time for you, but I really do need to help this young lady."

The hulking griffon walked inside. The only shred of femininity I could see was a tiny red ribbon in his... her feathers.

I froze. I had seen her in the lobby. I hadn't even considered...

A shiver ran down my spine. That... That's what I look like.

I fled. I needed to tell Twilight what I'd learned. I needed to get her to fix this NOW!

Comments

[Thought Prism]

Emotional AND Plot development? This is getting better.

[Chronos Cat]

It seems a little strange to me that anypony would need to see a therapist to get permission to use hormone therapy, when Celestia and Luna have spells to determine a pony's true gender.

[Wendy A Crescent]

However, it would be horrendously negligent to give you access to medications that will cause irreversible changes to your body without at least three sessions with you.

Yeah... three appointments... more like 3 years and 4 suicide attempts.. before i was even put up for consideration.. *shudders*

I'm really loving the story though, even though I can't read it in one go.

[animeyasha66]

at least she could get the referral from only one dr. I needed to get letters from 3 different drs to start T