• Member Since 27th Oct, 2013
  • offline last seen July 20th

Jay David

Just a guy who loves MLP.


Having been thwarted by Twilight Sparkle and her friends, Starlight Glimmer is sent to the place that all would-be world-conquering ponies go to when they fail. A place she'll wish she'd never heard of.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 56 )

Well that was fucking quick.

Already?! woooow... talk about fast!

5822872 I know right?

Wow... so fast. I call feature.


they said I had to have this stupid thing on my before I came in."

replace my with me or put in head after my?

upon hearing Twilight's name, merely grimaced for as little before the former started speaking.
"Thank you, Mr Bearded. It's a pleasure to be here. Um...may I begin?

period after Mr., and the first part sounds off.

Also, great story.:pinkiehappy:

Trixie got back into her chair, hoping Starswirl wouldn't keep staring at her like that In time, the old stallion did indeed look away from her,

A period is needed between "that" and "In time".

5822931 For some reason Jay-the-Brony tags every single one of his stories with "Random," whether it fits the story or not. I've never understood it.

5822991 Probs because he is random.

Holy cheesecake. I knew the fandoms worked quickly, with art being released in two of my fandoms right after new trailers came out, but this type of writing is insanely fast! And well done! Nice work!

You should totally make a sequel with Starswirl dealing with the Dazzlings (ice cream cones included) :rainbowlaugh:

Holy CRAP that was fast. :twilightoops:

A little too fast maybe. You might've taken a minute to proofread and edit it, there are some glaring errors here.

Ha! Sombra as 'this is your body on evil'. Though I think the best part is how badass this makes Starswirl. For Starswirl, the laws of life and death are more like 'suggestions'.

Embrace friendship or else.

5822872 5822886 5822893 5822927 Well, of course it's fast. Twilight wants her to be reformed as quickly as possible so she can become a productive member of Equestrian society :scootangel:

(In all seriousness, though, I'm impressed at how quickly this fandom produces stuff.)

But... season five just premiered...

Sifting through the mass of what she'd just heard, Starlight considered that for a few moments before finally replying to it.

"So...you quit being dead?"

Starlight, in turn, also considered those words before giving a short nod.

Yeah, having two ponies with 'Star' at the front of their names would make things confusing, especially if one's writing in a hurry. Might want to fix that little error. :raritywink:

Wow this was quick but a great story nonetheless.

Damn. Just watched the first episode of the season like, five minutes ago. And already there's a fic based on the episode.

Not gonna read yet. I wanna see how many others there are, but I'll pop back to this one soon. Promise.

It's crackfic.

Although I will point out that Lightning Dust's reaction to almost having killed four ponies was a 'So what?' Even Diamond Tiara would at least have gone '... whoa, I almost got in trouble here! Better be more careful next time'. So, there's something genuinely wrong with that pony.

Trixie, nah. She's all right.

Are you shitting me! It hasn't been a three days! Come'on! :facehoof:

Trixie was just an arrogant showmare that was way over her head. In the end just a girl with some bad luck and a ridiculous grudge.
Lightning Dust maybe a low-end sociopath. If you take into consideration her disregard for everyponies safety, and the fact that she is a tad charismatic.

Trixie being here seems to strain belief, as she seemed to have already reformed at the end of Magic Duel. It would've made more sense to put someone like Gilda there instead. Granted, it couldn't be "formerly-evil unicorns" but that could be swapped to "the formerly evil." I'd prefer that, even if you did lose the gag of Lightning Dust having a fake horn.

Starswirl saying he "quit being dead" was quite funny, though.

5824141 Lightning Dust had a touch of sociopathy, with primarily narcissistic personality traits. Trixie was... well, fairly similar. Just without the sociopathy.

Trixie only became a 'villain' when she used the Alicorn Amulet for revenge.

Starlight is DEFINITELY a pure villain. She's downright diabolical.

Sombra was... uhm... a blarg crystals dude and dark magic dictator.

NMM was a jealous nut willing to destroy the world with eternal night to show up Celestia.

Tirek was a total powergamer tyrant with the subtlety of a cannon to the face.

Discord was a god-mode troll, but was still not exactly evil. He could have done far worse with his powers.

Starlight made full use of her abilities to manipulate and scheme... on whatever her actual goal is... and tried to get rid of the opposition once she was revealed as a fraud. She even took the foresight to think up a phony artifact. She and Chrysalis are about the same tier of villainy, but Starlight was even cleverer. She planned ahead much better than the Changeling Queen. She was proceeding cautiously and slowly in her plans, and took advantage of unexpected appearances by a new alicorn as best she could; as opposed to Chrysalis whose plans failed to account for ponies recognizing her poor acting as Cadance, and did a terrible job of imprisoning Twilight (never even apparently considering she and Cadance might use their magic to get out).

The story was a bit blunt, and it still leaves many questions, but Starlight is the first villain I feel could be TRULY dangerous to Equestria. There is also the possibility she may only be a henchpony of a creature far more devious. Her immense power for being only a unicorn suggests she acquired it from someone or something.

5824189 Pfft, Gilda a damned beakie. They don't waste time a-tryin ta reform beakies! Celestia banished Gilda to the Sun.

And that's why we haven't seen feather nor fur of Gilda since that episode!


5824208 Why are saying information that everypony/everybody knows? And being narcissist doesn't make you a terrible person. I mean, running that show is her livelihood and she needed to take back control of it..... Tony Stark does the the Super-Hero thing because of the narcissism and guilt. Also, that amulet messes with your brain. She probably bought it to show-up Twilight once, and then everything went to shit.

Good point, she may just lack foresight. :twilightoops:

5822872 Check to see if the speed of light was broken because it was that fast...

You should have added the Flim-Flam Brothers they are unicorns that do whatever it takes to earn a profit.

I bet anypony who even just challenged the mane six is automatically branded a villian. Lets say i became the Great Magus from dota 2 walk up to the, challenge., and win they wouls brand me as a villian just because i beat and their afraid.

The side of friendship and good...no offense, but sometimes...you scary.

but sometimes...you scary.

you scary.

I'm sensing a reference here...

It has only been one day and already there are stories about season 5. DAMN!

Listing facts for comparison is a standard practice for any form of analysis.

I was pointing out that Trixie and Lightning Dust weren't truly villains in their primary appearances (Trixie was in her second due to the Amulet's influence).

Then I was comparing the relative 'villainy' of the others to Starlight Glimmer, pointing out that of all of them, Starlight has thus far shown the most deep-seated and dangerous traits of villainy.

5824919 Alright. Then why is it that you didn't write that first, and then proceed to explain your point on the matter. It makes it seem like you consider the rest of us idiots.

5824944 Actually, I assumed my point would be clear enough to anyone of reasonable rationality.

I didn't feel the need to patronizingly describe everything in a "Run, Spot, Run" manner.

But if you insist... :trollestia:

Forget it. You are a unique breed Alondro. You always manage to bring out murderous intent in me. It's like you are constantly playing a Namby-Pamby game with the rest of us. :ajbemused:

Knighty added tag for Starlight Glimmer, you may add it now.

This was definitely fast out. It took me at least two days after the episode to write my story about Tirek.

5825092 You're hot when you're angry. :rainbowwild:

I'm sorry. I had to stop as soon as I read
"You quit being dead?"
that is the funniest line I've ever read!:rainbowlaugh:

Did anyone notice how much the first 2 episodes of season 5 were like The Giver? With all the sameness and equality and everything.

Starlight, in turn, also considered those words before giving a short nod.

I think you meant for this to be Starswirl.


And badass too.

After Sunset showed up, I was thinking, 'The only one missing is Sombra.'

His reveal did not disappoint.

5832989 What is The Giver?
5822872 What was?

5989205 5989205 It's a book about a society where everyone is the same, for the sake of safety. There is no weather, different races, or even color. For more information about it, visit this page.

5824267 Looks like Gilda's banishment ended though :rainbowwild:

6033566 Uhm... it was... a CLONE!!! Yeah! :pinkiegasp:

6034727 A clone?:twilightoops:

Are you implying that Griphons have cloning technology no one knew about?
This can mean only one thing: Equestria is in danger and doesn't suspect anything...

(inb4 S 6, 7)

6036219 The Pony movie is going to be the pony version of "The Island".

Daisy, "The horror! The horror!"


"The side of friendship and good...no offense, but sometimes...you scary."

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