• Member Since 24th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Xepher


I don't write, so much as I perform acts of high-wire fiction without a net. Come watch me fall! I believe in narrative coincidence, the transcendent power of hopeful creativity, and the Oxford Comma.

E

Silver Spoon comes to Rarity for help fixing a broken piece of jewelry. Rarity tries to show her that sometimes, there are more valuable things than trinkets.

Written for the Writeoff Association's February contest, "Closing Time."

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 13 )

The feels are to much. This feels like an episode good job!

It's the same song and dance. I suppose we'll have to deal with these types of Silver Spoon stories until the show does something to give her some actual characterization to either dispel these types or reinforce it, I suppose. Because I still can't see any correlation between show and this more common fanon interpretation of her.

Well, it certainly went a different route with Rarity. Though I guess that ending will probably open up doorsbetween Sweetie and Silver if you ever make another Silver story?

Well, not much else to say. There are good lessons in this one compared to some of the ones in the same pool as this.

DT is a butt.

Oh, hey, I remember this one from the Writeoff. Sincere and not overly preachy is a good combination for a filly-bully redemption fic. Nicely executed. :twilightsmile:

6247704 6248046 Thanks! Yeah, I can't believe it's half a year since that contest. I kept meaning to rewrite this in more detail, but... the passion just wasn't there like it was for new stories, so I told myself to just get it out there and move on!

6247918 She is generally portrayed as such, yes. Though I actually think she's redeemable too (see today's update to The Hole in the Sun.)

6247865 Fair point... this isn't exactly stretching the bounds of originality here, I know that. I'm glad you found some redeeming elements in it though. My thoughts in this were more about how, from a kid's perspective, the bullies are evil, but from a grown up's perspective (Rarity) they're just the same as other children. Sweetie not understanding how her sister can be nice to her "enemy" was meant to be the focus.

:unsuresweetie: Mop? Lets get Spike to do it.
:raritystarry: Sweetie how coul...
:unsuresweetie: Spike would kiss your hooves if you let him!
:raritywink: Oh ?
:moustache:!!!!
:twilightoops: Spike what happened?
:moustache: hoofin mouth.:duck::facehoof:

Wow. This is very touching and feels real. Like an episode, yes.

6248093

I concur. DT is one of the few antagonist characters I actually CAN buy being "redeemed." (Not like, for instance, Sombra, and I'm still no ore than 50% convinced on Discord...) She is ultimately still a child and sometimes but not all the time) life has a way of making people mature. To mix my fandoms, I can see DT as being a bit of a Cordelia from Buffy. (In fact, wasn't Buffy herself in that mould before she became a Slayer? It's been a VERY long time since I saw the original movie.) In my own mind, I believe that if DT was subjected to something that put it all in perspective (like really serious business, the sort that leaves an effect on you), she'd probably come around quite quickly.

(Conversely, of course, I also believe it's plausible she could grow up to be worst form of nasty harridan, as bad as the worst of Prince Blueblood.)

6248150 I think Rarity is well aware of how she manipulates Spike. But this was Sweetie's mess.

6248588 Thank you! As I noted before, I feel like it's not quite up to my full standards, but I got worn out trying to rework it. I love the core ideal in the story (the same way I love the ideals in most of the show episodes) but I wish I'd figured out a way to kick it up an extra notch. Next story though! :rainbowdetermined2:

6250439 Yeah, she could go either way, like most children. But I think for me, one of the important lessons I learned as a kid was seeing my own parents be nice to some kid that bullied me, and, more strangely (at the time) how that kid was perfectly respectful to my parents. It was probably the first time I truly realized that a lot of things important to a kid don't matter to grown ups, and (unlike video games and legos) that could actually be a BETTER thing.

6251047 I understand what you're talking about, sometimes I also have this feeling. But the "ideal" is called so for a reason, maybe there will always be a feeling that you can write better. That's why (it was very long ago) I once tried to rewrite a story 8 times and then stopped writing it. Improvement is a good thing but sometimes you just need to stop yourself. :D

6247865
True, but this is one of the better versions I've seen of it. I think it might be the only time I've seen it and it didn't bug me. It feels earned and supported, not just a pale excuse for redemption. Silver's lonely, but she still has her personality Plus...yeah, I can see Diamond pulling the old "I won't be your friend anymore" card. In my experience, kids like Diamond tend to pull that card a lot and it's almost always a hollow threat used for a quick fix to get one's way. A dick move, but also a very childish move.
I also really like the addition of Silver still thinking money can solve all her problems, too. Plus, even if she's not 100% on board with teasing folks, that still doesn't mean she likes Sweetie and her weirdo friends, even under the circumstances. Like I said, it's not a full 180 degree turn, she's still Silver Spoon.
Speaking of Sweetie, her voice is fantastic here.

"In, out, in, out... sheesh, make up your mind!"

It's a small bit of dialogue, but it's just so her.

6254242 Yup. Hence the "Well, not much else to say. There are good lessons in this one compared to some of the ones in the same pool as this." bit at the end.

Though I felt the very end did milk it a tad, at least Sweetie got the picture.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130625191331/onepiece/images/d/d3/Robin_Says_She_Wants_to_Live.png
(Silver Spoon is Nico Robin. She wants to friendship, but, she doesn't know how!)

Also the bit that made Silver feel like she wasn't all too keen to befriend the cutie mark crusaders showed at least she's not too desperate. I guess she's just not that type of rough and tumble pony, at least going by this fic. And that Rarity made that point that sort of harkens, if unintentionally, that even if she doesn't approve of all the things Sweetie does that annoy her, it doesn't mean they can't be close because you don't have to like what someone does to get along together. Something which seems to show that Rarity doesn't blame Silver for who she decides to be friends with. A nice contrast that seems to be what keeps Silver in this story stuck on Diamond. They do make fun of ponies, but it doesn't bother Silver enough to speak out against it.

The only thing, though, is that the story does go into that assumption mode. Rarity not seeing it as a hollow threat, assuming Silver is likely treated potentially just as bad as Rarity's sister. The 'unique' tiara Diamond wears being very gaudy and cheap. Rarity certainly didn't stop to think maybe the fight could have been over not so much the worth Diamond perhaps placed on the all too fake and gaudy trinket. Not see it as possibly anything other then a simple fight over Silver breaking something that Diamond apparently holds more dear to her then Silver's friendship, which seems like it to be the monetary value.

The focus was supposed to be on Sweetie Belle, I guess, but that really only came at the very end. Though Sweetie Belle had some very Sweetie moments, especially when she did something I think many of us would have done in her place, too, which I just couldn't help but smile at. But it's not that the story offends sensibilities here. The story does have a few lessons wrapped up in one package, but it still felt uneasy to read the thoughts of the Rarity at times. They got distracting.

Fic could have been better if we merely got shown the story, not given opinions and assumptions, focuse more on why Silver felt so sorry for something that is only really implied important to Diamond without saying anything other then what is percieved as being 'very expensive'. The act of breaking something that was important to a friend you really cared about who felt really angry and hurt that it was broken. Things possibly said in anger to lead Silver Spoon to feel desperate to prove she's sorry, no matter the cost. Hollow threats or not.

But, no, there was no thoughts about how this trinket could be drenched in any form of sentimental value, nope. Not like it could have been the last gift her mother may have given Diamond before the divorceof her parents/death of her mother. Not that Diamond would likely share such embarrassing/secret details (possibly?) as to why she's so upset over such a gaudy piece of jewelry, she probably knows it's fake or implied too gullible or prideful to admit otherwise. Instead we get a piece of jewelery that may as well been a part of some cheap Nightmare Night princess costume based on Rarity's disgust for the item.

I wanted to see Silver's sincerity. See her worry about losing a friend, which we got. But it derailed into the usual 'no pony wants to be my friend' and 'Di was my *only* option, how do I friendship?' route. Which could have still very much worked, but there is something just really hard to swallow about how it was delivered.

(Silver's so lonely. Miss lonely. She's got no Diamond to call her own.)

Despite some of the tone, it really is better than the average crop of those in the same camp. Especially as far as one-shots go. It was just a short one-shot about learning that real friendships can't be bought. Among others. And honestly, if the Diamond in this story doesn't take the time out of her temper tantrum to see how upset she made Silver, and that Silver went above and beyond to replace something fake with something not just more real but quite obviously a real royal tiara, then yeah, she really doesn't deserve Silver Spoon in this universe.

I guess, in my case, it's just that it's 2015 and I can literally count in one hand fics that branch out from these retellings. Though Silver's feelings felt more believable, it made her out to be as if she's only friends with Diamond because she had zero choice in the matter. And that's really the part that just feels wrong, in my opinion. We all have choices. We all start somewhere. They were friends long before either got their cutie marks. Which, not counting the CMC, appear to have gotten theirs after the other fillies and colts in the class. Did they really just bully everypony? Or did their status of being from rich families make parents tell their kids to avoid befriending Silver and Diamond?

I used to be told I couldn't be friends with some people by others for various reasons or another, and rather trite in my opinion. So I can see how Silver COULD have a hard time befriending others, especially if her own upbringing made her out to be seen as weird or boring to other fillies and colts. Heh, you seem to show that off well in your story, come to think of it. How is the next chapter to "The Silver Standard" going by the way?

Be that as it may, I don't hate this story. But it could have been better presented in some areas to further strengthen a few lessons on how one should be treated and how to see even pull away from a toxic relationship (platonic or otherwise), which for the most part this story did do a good enough job at. It just had bumps that made it hard to be moved. I got the premise, the concept is nice. But the execution could have been better. Sweetie Belle was the highlight in the story for me, as well as the two lessons Rarity emparts near the end.

Oh, dear. I promised myself to keep to a short reply, too. :twilightblush:

---

@Xepher: If you read this, take it with a grain of salt. Not like you wrote this to please everyone, we're both aware of that, and I still very much enjoy your other works in that Alt Universe tale with the CMC. Hope you placed well in the writeoff, or good luck if it's still going on. I've not recently been keep up with those seeing how overly frequent those have been getting.

6254718
6254242

Wow, thanks for the spirited debate you guys! Nothing an author likes more than people talking about their work! :pinkiehappy:

Telaros: No worries at all about any "negative" comments or anything. I take no offense at all. You have valid reasons for what you say, and frankly, I'm quite glad to see someone even taking the time to properly criticize.

Poltergeist: I'd forgotten about that line of dialog. I remember when I wrote that, thinking it was one of my favorite parts. Sweetie in a huff is just... well, hilarious and cute. I need more of that next time, and let the object lesson be a bit less anvilicious I think.

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