With Good Intentions

by Hustlin Tom

Chapter 4

Year of Our Lady 971

*Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap*

The expansive hallway of marble was filled with the sound of hooves excitedly striking the floor. Today was the day. The young stallion who sat on one of the countless cushioned benches scattered across Canterlot Castle’s corridors had been looking with anticipation towards this moment for years, and now that it was almost upon him he could barely contain himself. The Princess had told him the night previous to be present in this lower hall for his induction before 8 in the morning; he had arrived at 7. He had chosen to wear his finest suit, a pinstripe shirt, grey overcoat, and emerald green tie, in order to make the best possible impression. In addition to his high caliber garb he carried with him a compact aluminum tube strapped to his right shoulder by a small sash which was full of blueprints. It had been difficult to narrow down which ones he had wanted to bring the most. He had spent hours constructing the plans he was carrying with him, and yet they were already rubbish: he had already begun to find flaws in the original designs and was mentally going through the steps he would have to take on what he would change while he was presenting each item. So absorbed was he in his mental stewing and rhythmic tapping of his hooves that he didn’t notice the guard who had come to fetch him, even though he was standing right in front of him.

“Too much of a tolerance build up,” Bunsen Burner muttered to himself softly, then adjusted his black large rimmed spectacles, “must find somewhere to shave off that extra five thousandths of an inch, or else crystalline matrix will shatter at interference fit.”

The guard didn’t even try to comprehend what the colt was saying: genius and madness involved the same amount of muttering, and he wasn’t paid enough to try and tell one from the other. He cleared his throat loudly, “M’Lord.”

Startled by the sudden interruption of his train of thought, the young prince flinched so hard that he almost dropped the blueprint he was looking at and glanced up in bewilderment. “Is it time?” he asked with an obvious hint of nervousness, and he began to feverishly roll up the plans.

“It is,” the guard said with a curt nod, his golden armour jangling with his sudden movement, “If you will follow me I am to escort you to your new superior immediately.”

“Yes!” the young stallion blurted as he finished packing up, “Yes, of course. Uh, right!”

Without another moment’s pause the guard turned on the spot and trotted away, leaving Bunsen Burner to quickly catch up. A new bout of paranoia overtook the young earth pony, and he began to check to see if his greased comb-over mane was out of place. After assuring himself it was alright, he paused and cinched his idea tube a little tighter. The guard finally led him into what appeared to be a large alcove with a door sized indentation at the end: there was no handle or knob on the two segments of wall but they appeared to open in some manner.

“So is this Principled Acumen’s office?” he asked uncertainly.

“It is the way to it, my Prince,” the guard replied as they approached, “and if I may offer you some advice sir, it would be not to mention the Madam Director’s first name in any fashion: she is very sensitive to its use.”

The guard arrived at the indentation and slid his hoof along the right wall until he found an almost invisible glass button. A light then shone from underneath its opaque surface, and the two sections of wall split apart to reveal a small room made of oak and brass and filled with small particles that lazily fell towards the floor. The guard slid an extending steel cage out of the way to grant access to the room, and gestured for his charge to enter. Stepping into the room curiously, he admired the wood paneling, softly running his hoof across its glazed surface. He heard the guard close the gate again, and then a small click. There was a lurch that made Bunsen Burner exclaim “Oh!” in surprise and then the sudden sensation of descent.

A smile of excitement grew on his face, and he turned to look at the guard, “Are we riding on an elevator?”

“Is it your first time, sir?” he asked with a slight smile.

“Yes,” the young stallion replied as he looked up and all around, imagining what could be outside their protective shell, “I’ve only ever read about them. I’ve heard there are some in Manehattan that go hundreds of feet up inside the skyscrapers there!”

“Well sir, this one has all of them beaten,” the guard declared as he relaxed a little, “we’re going half a mile down, into the old gem mines below Canterlot.”

Bunsen Burner’s eyes grew bigger, and his grin combine with a look of awe, “Over 2500 feet down? Extraordinary!”

“Wait until we get to the bottom: then you’ll see ‘extraordinary’.”

It was about five minutes later that the elevator finally came to a gentle stop with a hiss and a ding. When the doors opened the guard drew back the cage and trotted down the hall, with Bunsen Burner following behind in a state of excitement. They turned into a hallway to the right where they passed several laboratories, each with a large window into which one could glance in on the working enlightened minds. With the short amount of time he had, the young stallion saw other beings of many other races, each working on any number of things. He saw work being done on some sort of prototype hydraulic lift by a Pegasus scientist, an earth pony and a griffon staring intently at a chalkboard with a complex mathematical model with a picture of some sort of tunneling hole leading off to the right of the board, and a unicorn staring down into a microscope with a chalkboard at his back full of various possible combinations of organic chemical components: a pentose monosaccharide, a phosphate group of some kind, and what appeared to be incomplete structures composed of Nitrogen. Near the unfinished structures was the number four with a question mark afterwards. Bunsen Burner wasn’t sure what to make of it. Finally, after many more winding corridors and the ascension of a tiered flight of stairs, they entered a hallway with a wooden door on the right. A golden plaque was set in the door, on it was engraved “Office of RSD Director” and beneath that “Principled Acumen”. From behind the door Bunsen Burner could hear raised voices.

“We’re sorry Director Acumen,” an elderly sounding stallion declared sternly, “but we will have nothing to do with this fanciful metal of yours: its existence is redundant and ultimately only supported by the passing fancy of a select few.”

“MY metal is more efficient and consistent in performance than any bit-a-dozen enchanters your guild can produce,” she replied venomously, “You may think your position is secure because of your one in a hundred polymath sorcerers who can pull the weight of the other ninety-nine, but time and again we've beaten everypony you've sent our way. Arcanium is the future, and when the public can see our results for itself, your comfortable job security will be gone!”

The door opened, and a unicorn with muted orange fur wearing thick flowing robes stepped into the hallway. “It’s a pity for you that your threat has no weight behind it,” he scoffed as he turned to look back into the room, “You will see what influence we have in the end, and your trinkets will never make it to the toy market.”

He then closed the door and turned to walk past the guardpony and Bunsen Burner, but stopped just beside the young stallion.

“Allow me to offer you some advice my little earth pony,” he said in a thinly veiled attitude of condescension as he patted the colt’s shoulder, “The world turns best when we all know our place in it: elevate your betters and live within your bounds.”

The unicorn then casually strode away, leaving his ‘advice’ to hang in the air. The guard knocked on the door even as he muttered under his breath ‘pompous’ and an uncivilized word or two, “Madam Director? Prince Bunsen Burner is here to see you now.”

“Send him in,” she said with a sigh of frustration.

“Good luck, sir,” the guard declared as he swung the office door open for his charge, and then trotted away, presumably to wherever his post was. The young stallion looked at the door’s threshold, gave a quick nervous exhalation, and then stepped into the room. After closing the door behind himself he was finally able to put a face to his superior’s name.

Principled Acumen was a powder blue unicorn with piercing orange eyes. Her mane grew in long, wavy patterns that curled at the end. In her younger days it may have been various shades of dark blue, but now multiple streaks of grey had crept into it. She could by all means still be a stunning mare, but she had eyes like a griffon: intimidating and sharp.

“Sit down,” she said flatly, waving towards a seat in front of her desk.

“Good morning, Madam Director,” Bunsen Burner declared as he moved forward, still not entirely sure of how best to conversationally approach the mare.

“Good morning,” she replied without much feeling, but then abruptly put up a hoof. The young stallion stopped in front of the chair.

“Before we get started, I’m going to lay down some ground rules,” she declared, “This is not a judgment against you as a pony, but I have no idea of who you are, and I’d prefer to head off certain potential miscommunications that may occur between us. Are we clear?”

Bunsen Burner nodded vigorously, “Yes Madam Director.”

The mare’s face softened a little, “Very good! Please, have a seat.” He obliged her very quickly. As he settled into his sitting pillow, she settled into her prepared speech, “I can see you've already been warned about me, but just so you are abundantly aware, you may call me ‘Madam Director’ or ‘Director Acumen’ and that is all. Stick with those and we will get along just fine. Understand?”

He nodded, “Yes Madam Director.”

“The second item I wish to address is this: you may have been the Princess’ student, but now the chain of command is changed. From now on I am the center of your universe. There will be no galloping off to her if you have a problem.”

“Yes Madam Director.”

She nodded, then crossed her forehooves on her desk, “Now once again I will repeat myself: I have no idea who you are, so do not take this a judgment or a personal attack. The third item I wish for you to know is this: you are not special.” Bunsen Burner was visibly shocked by what she had said, but held his tongue. She continued, “You may be operating under the belief that you are somehow better than others because you were hoofpicked by Celestia herself; you may have been able to impress or confound everypony you knew before coming here; you may think you are incredibly intelligent. Make no mistake: we do not lack for intelligence here. You will either impress your peers and me or you will not. You will not get by on pure theory or conjecture here. Each year you will present some meaningful breakthrough on whatever project or collaboration you choose to apply yourself towards, or else you will be removed.”

This item in particular was a great deal to digest, so it took Bunsen Burner a while longer to finally reply, “Yes…Madam Director.”

“There is one final item for you to remember: whatever you see or hear is of the utmost secrecy within this facility. You may speak to others about your work in this organization in generalities, but anything else is the equivalent of selling state secrets, for which the punishment is severe. Are we clear on all of these points, Mr. Burner?”

The young stallion swallowed and slowly nodded, “Yes Madam Director.”

“Very good,” she exclaimed as she leaned back in her seat, “Welcome to the Royal Science Division. Now then, I see you have some plans to show off. Let’s have a look at them!”

“Of course!” he replied excitedly as he reached for his idea tube, but then realized he hadn't addressed her “Erm, apologies Madam Director.”

Director Acumen shook her head even as she brought her hoof to it, “Alright. The first addendum I’m making is that you can also address me as ‘Ma’am’.”

“Sorry, uh, Ma’am,” he replied nervously as he reached for his plans.

She sighed as he looked at him, “And don’t apologize for every minor infraction of protocol as if I’ll blast you from the surface of the earth. I’m only a terrifying scourge when I must be.”

Unsure how best to proceed, Bunsen Burner dumbly brought his blueprints up on the table and slowly unfurled them. Director Acumen quickly skimmed through the first few: a personal gyrocopter that was worn and operated by a single pony, a universal automatic page turning device.

“Some of these I've decided to change since last night,” he explained apologetically, “I was getting a little drowsy towards the early morning hours and I let a few figures slip, but I can easily correct those.”

The Director’s eyes fell on the last set of blueprints, and she stopped. She stared hard at it, then looked up to him, “Is this what I think it is?”

Bunsen Burner looked down at his drawing sheepishly, scratching behind his ear nervously, “Well, yes I suppose it is, but I've never constructed a large scale model for it. I just brought it as an example of my abilities, not for a proof of concept.”

His superior’s eyes glanced down over the plans again, disbelief growing inside her. A teleporter. This kid had drawn up an honest to Celestia teleporter for his entrance interview.

“I've been able to transport small things across short distances in the past: a softball at five feet, a cup at ten, and a pebble at fifty.”

This caused her ears to perk up, and she lean back in her chair to look at him, “Let me see if I understand this correctly: you have plans for a device that can mechanically produce a teleportation spell and you claim you've verified that it works?”

Bunsen Burner brought his hooves up, “With all due respect Ma’am, I don’t want you to think I’ve got something I don’t have! My prototype only ever was able to hit a maximum range of one hundred feet with a pea, and even then I was drawing as much energy as I could from my power source. On top of that, this model is six feet tall: to be able to transport anything useful it would need to be quadruple its current size!”

This certainly curbed Director Acumen’s excitement, but she couldn't help but stare at the blueprints before her. “Mr. Burner,” she finally exclaimed, which brought his attention squarely back to her. She began to roll his plans back up and float them over to him with her magic, “I want you to bring your device as well as some updated prints down here ASAP. Once you've demonstrated it for me, I’ll get you in contact with some other minds in our Thuamaturgy and Electronics branches. See what progress you can make in a month’s time towards making it smaller and more efficient.”

The young stallion nodded vigorously, “Yes, Madam Director.”

“You’re dismissed for the day,” she finally said, and he ushered himself out of her office.

After he had gone she turned to her own thoughts as she thought about the situation as a whole.

“A teleporter,” she muttered to herself, “This could be the game changer we've been looking for. It’s even the perfect way to shut up smug old Stargazer: beat the guild at its own game with the most iconic thing a unicorn can do besides telekinesis!"

She got up from her seat and turned to look down through the window at the back of her office, gazing at the various scientists running or flying below in the open space outside. This was her garden of genius, and she had a feeling that the young stallion would fit in nicely.

"Wherever Celestia found him, she's certainly no fool: she wouldn't waste time on just anypony" she muttered to herself, "The Unicorn Guild has declared war on our institution, and we only have one chance to become more than a minor administrative power before they squash us out." She sighed before she sat down heavily in her seat again. "Let's just hope we can get this kid's crazy idea to work."

---

Bunsen Burner's mind frenetically buzzed, possibilities flashing and colliding in his head, as he trotted through his street in Canterlot Heights. It was only half past eight in the morning, but the enormity of the task he had been called to do was already draining him dry of his energies. What had even convinced him that bringing the teleporter schematics was a good idea? The other ideas, while a little boring, at least decidedly worked to his satisfaction. To be so close to his long standing desire, being able to teleport, and yet so far from success was inexcusable. It was almost an embarrassment to show off a decidedly unfinished invention to his superior. He checked himself as he realized the vanity that came with that statement. No amount of intellect in the world could by itself conjure the resources he needed, he chided himself: if he could just show what he had to Director Acumen and the others, even as imperfect as it was, that would mean access to better resources and construction materials. He chuckled to himself as he trotted down the cobbled street: it would be nice to finally not have to eke out every pile of scrap he could barter for, smelt it all down, and form up his own parts.

As he approached his home at the edge of the Market district the sun shone brightly down on the city in front of him, and he couldn't help but smile. The rays of Celestia's sun uplifted his spirit it seemed; he could make this work. He could get those plans drawn up, precise and to a tee. That was the best place to start!

As he walked down the street, not but a few yards from his small two bedroom home on the left side of the Market district's edge, he noticed a new stall was set up. Gorgeous arrangements of flowers sat demurely for the world to enjoy in clusters atop the plain yellow wagon. Behind the stall stood an earth pony mare waving to any and all who passed by, a genuinely dazzling smile on her face. Her coat was a shade of creme, and her mane and tail were vibrant auburn, "Fresh flowers! Enjoy nature's fairest side for any and all occasions! Singles for two bits, half dozens for eight, and a full dozen for fifteen."

Bunsen Burner couldn't help but momentarily stare. She was beyond gorgeous. There wasn't any other way to describe it: she wore no cosmetics, no special clothing, and yet she was just...radiant.

Eventually she noticed him stopped in front of the steps up to his house. She smiled and waved to him, calling out loudly, "Hello!"

Paralyzed by the sudden attention, he waved rather awkwardly and replied back with his own, "Hello," that she barely heard. Embarrassed suddenly by his own nervousness, he turned and half trotted/half galloped to his door and hid himself behind it. He cursed himself even as he finally felt safe, "Excellent first impression, idiot."

Grumbling to himself, he set his mind back to what he needed to be doing. Even as he charted out the parts, dimensions, and materials his invention would need, and as the hours crawled by into the afternoon and evening, she was there in the back of his mind: the gorgeous flower bearing filly. Try as he might he could never fully push her away from his thoughts. To be fair though, he wasn't trying all that hard.

Comments

[Hustlin Tom]

5964040
Not everypony can have the cute names.

[Alan Smithee]

Teleportation is not even a little interesting when compared to an ELEVATOR!!!!!!!!1

[Hustlin Tom]

5970842
Teleportation? Pbbt. Easy. Happens everyday. You get desensitized to the magic of...well, the magic. But a tiny box that can travel hundreds of feet up and down at the press of a button?! That is true sorcery!

[Alan Smithee]

According to your chapter, teleportation is

the most iconic thing a unicorn can do besides telekinesis!

liveforfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/gravity-gun.jpg

So there.

[Hustlin Tom]

5974492
I wish I had a gravity gun stuck to my head. That would be cooooooool.