The Road Home
By Pen Stroke
Preread, Edited, and Reviewed By
Illustrious Q, BronyWriter, SaturnStar14, Applejack-fan
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Chapter 9
A New Direction
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“Morning, Applejack!”
Applejack reached the foot of the crystal palace’s steps. Though she was not proud of how she stormed off the previous day, it had helped calm her down. Apple bucking always would be one of her favorite ways to vent frustration that was still a productive use of her time. Still, all that was behind her and she gave a smile to Pinkie Pie, who was standing halfway up the steps and holding a baking tray. “Morning, Pinkie. What are you doing here so early?”
“Wanted you to try one of these,” Pinkie said, lowering the baking sheet enough to reveal its contents. Laid out in three near-perfect rows of four were twelve apple danishes, and they were a beautiful sight to Applejack. The smell was dancing in her nose, a sweet mixture of apple and cinnamon. Oh, she knew these danishes well. It was Pinkie’s unique recipe, where she prepared the bread part of the danish like a cinnamon roll. It was a treat for almost all the senses. The warm, soft bread, the sweet smells, the beautiful swirl, and the delectable taste.
If the danishes could only serenade the ears, then no sense would go unused.
“They look amazing, Pinkie. Better than usual,” Applejack said as she picked one up from the tray and took a bite. A shiver ran down her spine, and she instinctively licked her lips to catch any fleeting crumb. “Whoa...”
“I know!” Pinkie said with a hop, though she was careful not to jostle the baked goods. “These are the best Cinnamon Swirl Apple Danishes I’ve ever made! That new oven is amazing.”
“The Cakes got a new oven? I didn’t hear anything about that,” Applejack said before letting her mouth once more enjoy the apple-tastic party of flavor that was the danish.
Pinkie Pie giggled, before turning and heading up the steps. “It’s not the Cakes,” she said in a sing-song manner. Applejack arched an eyebrow, but had another chomp of her danish before setting what little remained on the brim of her hat. She then followed behind Pinkie, who was climbing up the interior, spiraling staircase with the baking sheet balanced perfectly on her back.
“Oh, then who got a new oven? I bet they asked you to help them try it out,” Applejack said. She paused for a moment, removing and taking another bite from her danish. She then replaced it back on the rim of her hat and trotted to catch up with Pinkie Pie. “Let me guess. It was Rarity. She likes getting those fancy new gizmos for her kitchen, even though she hardly uses them.”
Pinkie Pie giggled and shook her head.
“Okay, then who would it be?” Applejack asked herself. “Was it Candy Dandy, the owner of the candy shop? He’s always talked about getting some fancy oven for the front of his shop so ponies could make their own candy.”
“Nope.”
The pair reached the top of the stairs, and began walking the halls of the palace part of the pseudo crystal treehouse. Applejack’s brow furrowed, and she looked to the floor as her mind tried to grasp for the answer. “Okay, then it had to have been... Bon Bon. I saw her getting a whole slew of new pots and pans last week. New pots and pans for the new oven, right?”
“You’re right!” Pinkie Pie cheered, then giggled. “Or at least, half right. Bon Bon did get a new oven, but I didn’t use her oven to bake these delicious danishes.”
“All right, then I give up. Whose oven did you use?”
“The castle’s!” Pinkie Pie turned, heading through a doorway into one of the rooms adjacent to the corridor. It was a room Applejack knew too well. The previous evening, her night shift crew had wasted their time taking out a wall in what was supposed to just be a sitting room. The room itself had been largely empty the last time she saw it.
It was not empty anymore. In fact, the room looked finished.
It was a kitchen, fully furnished and carrying the smell of the danishes. It was of the same style and size of the Canterlot Castle’s kitchen. There were three industrial ovens, and some crystal walls had been grown in the corner and affixed with the necessary machinery to create a walk in refrigerator. Pinkie Pie was beaming as she set the cookie sheet of danishes down on a counter and looked back at Applejack.
“Isn’t it wonderful!? With this kitchen, we’ll never have to worry about food in any parties we throw, even if we fill the ballroom with ponies. And look, look at the ovens. They’re crystal ovens. We grew them with that silly sticky paint like everything else, and they work so well! It hardly took them any time at all to warm up. I mean, you tasted these danishes.”
“It... was you?” Applejack said, her pleasant mood withering like an apple being sucked dry by a vampire fruit bat. “You were the one that pulled the night shift off what they were supposed to be doing?” She took the last piece of danish from the brim of her hat, staring at it for a moment before glaring back at Pinkie Pie. “You made these to butter me up, didn’t you?”
“No, I made them to sweeten you up!” Pinkie giggled at her own joke, but her laughter died quickly as she saw the frown and furrowed brow growing on Applejack’s face. “I mean, we were going to have to do this part of the castle anyway, I just had your volunteers work on it sooner rather than later. And come on, a super fun kitchen like this for throwing super fun parties is way better than a sitting room.”
“Pinkie, you just... you’ve..” Applejack grunted in frustration. “That doesn’t make it okay!” She threw the last of her danish on the ground like the bribery it was, turned, and stormed out of the room. In one fell swoop, her frustration had returned, and she needed to go someplace else before she did something she’d regret.
~~~
With a sigh of exhaustion, Flash delivered the last of his comrades to the top of the cliff. He then landed, nearly collapsing on his own hooves. He finally gave in and allowed himself to sit like the others as they all rested in the slowly growing light of dawn.
They had been up all night in a panic, working feverishly to ensure whether or not they had bad news to report back to the Crystal Empire. After finding the diamond dog holes, they had begun searching the nearby area. They checked forest trails, the tracks, and Flash did an aerial sweep. That was when he saw it. The wrecked royal carriage at the bottom of a tall cliff.
The four guard ponies had spent all night, working under the light of crystals and Luna’s moon, to search the wreckage. They overturned every piece of crystal and shattered remains of furniture. They found a broken pair of glasses and a few stray playing cards. They found tuffs of diamond dog hair. Yet the thing they hoped not to find, but searched diligently for, were the ponies and dragon they, as guards, were sworn to protect.
Thankfully, they could find no bodies amongst the mangled train car.
“We should go check on the train and then try to get a few hours of sleep.” Gem Shield tried to pull himself back to his hooves, but ended up back where he started, sitting on the ground with his head turned skyward.
“The train’s right here, Gem Shield. We moved it closer when we found the wreckage,” Lapis said. He was laying on his side, but he managed enough energy to point at the small, crystal engine that was sitting just a few dozen feet away. “You were the one that suggested it.”
“I am sorry that I don’t recall everything I said after working from dusk till dawn moving heavy crystal and worrying that I’d find our princess squashed like a bug!”
“Easy, Gem. We’re all tired,” Flash said, managing to get back to his hooves. “But we’re guard ponies. We’ve pulled all nighters before. We will survive. But you’re right, let’s catch a few winks before we get back to our search,” he said mostly for himself. While the others could take turns dozing in the train car, he had to keep airborne. He wouldn’t be fit to fly safely without at least a few hours of sleep.
Ardent groaned as he rubbed his eyes. “I hate trying to sleep during the day. All I end up doing is just lying there, staring at the back of my eyelids and never actually getting any sleep.” He sat up from the dirt, patting off one side of his coat before forcing himself to stand. A morning breeze blew across the group, a bit of cool relief after an evening of hard labor. Yet, as the wind gusted, Ardent turned his face and ears to the horizon.
“Did any of you hear that?”
Flash, Lapis, and Gem turned, looking to their comrade who was now standing on the very edge of the cliff. His ears were forward, and he was hardly breathing as he looked towards the horizon. Flash strained his own ears, but couldn’t hear anything except the occasional rustle of trees when the wind gusted. From the looks on Lapis and Gem’s faces, they couldn’t hear anything either.
“There it was again.” Ardent raised up onto his back hooves, trying to raise his ears higher and looking like a meerkat in the process. “I think... I think I heard the Great and Honorable Spike’s voice.”
Flash took to his wings, hovering a few yards in the air while Lapis and Gem moved up beside Ardent. They all turned their ears forward, trying to hear what he did. Yet, the forest only gave its audience its usual symphony. The birds chirped and the trees rustled. Everything with the world seemed right. Even the sunrise was picture perfect, worthy of being captured by a painter or a photographer. The warm light in the east and the trees casting long shadows against one another, as if trying to harbor the last moments of night from burning away.
“What was that?”
Gem pointed his hoof, and the other three focused their vision in that direction. “What did you see?” Lapis asked.
“I don’t know. That’s why I asked ‘what was that?’” Gem snapped, though he was now starting to trot along the edge of the cliff, trying to change his perspective on the forest below them. “But... I thought I saw a flash, or maybe I just blinked. I just don’t know.”
“Wait, I just saw it too,” Ardent claimed, the energy in the group returning despite their exhaustion. “A green flash of light?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Gem nodded his head, then snapped his ears forward. “And I just heard something. It was a scream. It was definitely a scream. High pitched, like a filly.”
The four guards were now moving together along the edge of the cliff, slowly accelerating to a steady gallop as they kept their eyes on the forest. “Do you think it’s them? Princess Twilight does have her daughter with her,” Lapis said.
“But none of them have green magic?” Gem Shield said. “What would have made that green flash of light? It wasn’t the right color for Spike’s dragon fire.”
“I know one thing that could have done it.” Flash swoop down and picked Ardent up by the shoulders. He then began gliding along the cliff face. “Lapis, Gem, keep running along up here. I’ll come back to get you in a second. But we need to move on this now, stallions. The royal family may be being pursued by something dangerous, and I can only think of one such threat that uses green magic.”
The other three guards nodded in agreement, feeling their hooves gain speed as urgency filled their chests.
~~~
“Organize things for us, Applejack. Only you can do it, Applejack. Help us even though we keep doing things to make your job harder, Applejack.” She grumbled and cursed, venting her frustration with her hat pushed down over her eyes and her chin resting on the picnic table. She had walked to one of Ponyville’s often less populated parks, and went to a picnic table she knew was rarely used. It was tucked away, quiet, and a good place for her to stew.
The project had turned into a larger headache than she could have guessed, even with Discord off to keep Twilight distracted. She never expected everything to go perfectly smoothly. She expected there to be hiccups and hold ups. But what she didn’t expect was... sabotage. Yes, she knew her friends weren’t being malicious, but the results were the same. Pinkie Pie got her fancy kitchen while delaying other parts of the castle. Fluttershy unwittingly unleashed the Angel Bunny Army and shut down the project. Even Rarity had set them up for failure at the start. The project would be several times easier if they had just focused on the essentials.
The only one that hadn’t caused trouble was Rainbow Dash, and that wasn’t for lack of trying to get her backyard pool.
“Sorry, didn’t think anyone else would be here.”
Applejack turned her head, just enough so she could see out from under the brim of her hat. A pony had come around the tree that hid the secluded picnic table from the rest of the park. The stallion was carrying a lunch, and was starting to back away when Applejack sat up and fixed her hat. “Hey, Silver Shill, didn’t know you were in town.”
“Oh, Applejack, it’s you.” Silver stopped retreating and resumed his approach, taking a seat across from the mare at the table. “I didn’t recognize you, but I guess you can’t blame me too much. All I could see from over there was somepony trying to nap under her hat.” He began unpacking his lunch, a simple meal of a sandwich, celery, and a big, Sweet Apple Acres apple. “So, what are you doing out here?”
“Trying to clear my head.” Applejack sank back into her seat, letting her hat cover her eyes again. Maybe it was rude to Silver Shill, but she couldn’t care less at the moment about decorum.
Shill took a small bite of his sandwich, chewed, and swallowed. “I guess all the work on the palace isn’t going so well. That’s why I’m in town. I’ve been helping up at Night Stone Castle with your friend, Pinkie Pie. Boy, isn’t she a bundle of energy?”
Applejack sighed, the mention of Pinkie Pie reminding her of exactly what she was trying to clear out of her head. “That’s one way to describe her.”
Shill ate a few more bites of his sandwich, eyes wandering as the conversation withered like a dry plant under a hot sun. He took a bite of his apple, crunched on some celery, and then managed to find something else to say. “So, are you taking a lunch break? I’m eating before I start my shift at the castle.”
Applejack just shook her head, resulting in her rolling it back and forth across the table.
A single dry, forced chuckle escaped Shill’s mouth before he promptly filled it with another bite of his sandwich. He then crunched on his celery, and was about to chase that with a bite from his apple. He then paused, turning the pristine, red-skinned fruit in his hoof a moment. “You and your family really do grow great apples. I’ve been having one of these a day ever since I got here. I can’t get enough of them.”
The topic changing to something other than the palace was enough for Applejack to sit up. She straightened her hat, and even managed a little smile as she watched Shill bite into the apple. “Yeah, nothing beats an Apple family apple, and we put a lot of work in to make sure of that. We tend the trees. We harvest at just the right time, and we do all the honest work it takes to make them apples honestly good.”
“Honest work to make them honestly good." Shill smiled a little as he swallowed. "That almost sounds like a marketing slogan the Flim Flam Brothers would think up. Good or bad intentions, you have to give those two that much credit. They sure knew how to sell things.”
“How’d you get mixed up with those two in the first place?” Applejack asked as she leaned her head on her hoof. Without a lunch of her own to eat, all she could really do was talk and watch Shill enjoy his.
“It’s actually a funny story. I’ve always wanted to be a salespony, but I never really got the hoof of it. I was fired more times than I care to count from different shops because I couldn’t manage to make sales. But then Flim and Flam came into town. Other ponies were enthralled by their miracle elixir, but what I saw was a pair of grade A sales ponies. I approached them after their show, and asked if they had any openings. They weren't keen on it at first, but then they hired me to be their plant pony.”
“I never heard of anything like that before.”
Shill shrugged. “I hadn’t heard of it either, and I think those two may have made the name up to make me feel more important than I was. Still, it somewhat makes sense. I was the pony they were planting in the crowd to help make more sales. Though it didn’t work as well as we hoped the first few times. I was this close to losing that job.” Shill put his hooves about an inch apart for emphasis.
“Well, in the end, I’m glad you didn’t. That coin you gave me ended up being real helpful,” Applejack said with a little chuckle. “Still, what were you doing that got under Flim and Flam’s fur? From what I remember of those two, a tornado could be blowing around their heads and they’d still be keeping up their routine.”
“It wasn’t me, or at least it wasn’t all my fault. They were trying a bit too hard to control what I did. They were telling me which costume to use and how to fake my injuries. They wanted it spot on, and all that pressure was making my acting less than convincing. But then one night, they were too busy making more elixir and told me to just take care of it myself. That’s when things turned around. I had the freedom to do the act in a way I was comfortable. After that, picking the best costume and character for the audience became my responsibility. It was my contribution to the show, and the brothers trusted me to do it, even when I wanted to try out new props or costumes.”
Shill crunched down the last bite of his celery, chuckling a little as he did. “Now, thanks to the time I spent with them, I’ve started my own costume shop, a good honest place a few towns over.”
“I’m real glad to hear that, Shill,” Applejack said, the story rolling around in her head. For a moment the pair were silent. Shill was nearing the end of his lunch, and Applejack’s frustration had been vented away. It was now just two ponies sitting while one enjoyed an early lunch.
“So, what part are you doing for yourself?”
Applejack cocked an eyebrow. “What do ya mean?”
“Well, I heard from somepony that Pinkie Pie was making this big kitchen so she could use it to throw some super fun parties. It sounds like just the thing she’d do for her part of the palace.”
“None of us really have parts of the palace,” Applejack said, chuckling a little at the notion. “It’s Twilight’s new home. She’s the Princess of Friendship.”
“But didn’t Celestia say something different? I read it in the newspaper.” Shill paused a moment, eyes wandering before his mind managed to capture the memory. “Yeah, Princess Celestia was interviewed about the new palace and she said it was a perfect place for Princess Twilight and her friends. It even had a picture of the throne room, and it had a seat for all seven of you.”
Applejack laughed a little at the thought, but then she got quiet. Shill’s story and question were swimming and merging together in her mind. Applejack then shook her head before lifting a hoof and securing her hat on her head. “I suppose you got a point there, Shill. Now, hate to run off, but all this talking has helped me get my head on straight.”
~~~
“Applejack, is this really an appropriate time for this?” Rarity asked as she, Fluttershy, and Rainbow followed their friend through the castle. Her disappearance earlier that morning had been a major disruption to the work on the palace. Ponies had swarmed Rarity and Fluttershy in the design tent, asking questions they had no answers to. Where were the volunteers supposed to be working? Where was the crystal mortar? Where were they installing the plumbing? What smelled so delicious?
“I promise, we’ll get right back on track. I just need to settle something with y’all,” Applejack said before making a left turn, arriving back at the place where her frustration had reached a breaking point earlier that day. The ballroom kitchen, however, was nearly filled to capacity. Every counter space was stacked with plates of cookies and apple fritters. There were easily enough desserts to feed a small army, and the amount was only increasing. Pinkie Pie was at the oven, trading out a pair of cookie sheets while another half dozen apple fritters fried up in a pot of hot oil on the stovetop.
Rainbow landed, moving over to one of the plates and sniffing at the deserts. She couldn’t help but lick her lips. “Hey, Pinkie, what’s all this for?”
“Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie yelped as if she had been caught planning a surprise party. Her eyes then flicked to Applejack before narrowing to dots. “Applejack! Oh no! My super duper apology isn’t ready yet! I still have ten dozen more cookies to bake and twelve dozen more fritters to fry before I can make my ultimate I’m sorry apple gift basket.”
“With all this, I think you mean gift wagon,” Rarity said. “What exactly are you apologizing for?”
“She was the one that hijacked the night shift the last couple days,” Applejack said as she trotted up to Pinkie Pie. With a quick twist of her hoof she turned the stove’s burners off before doing the same to the oven. “And, well, I didn’t take too kindly to the news when I found out this morning.”
“That was you! You ruined my lovely sitting room.”
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth, but Applejack stepped between her and Rarity, breaking the line of sight. “Ruined is a bit of a strong word, and if anything I’ve been the one making things difficult.”
“How is any of this your fault, Applejack?” Fluttershy asked. “I mean, it was my animals that caused the mess in the backyard.”
“I haven’t had my head in the right place for this project since day one. All I saw was the job you all wanted me to do and all the work that had to be done. But somepony helped me realize a few things. This isn’t a job, and though y’all put your faith in me, I shouldn’t be the one bossing everypony around. All five of us should be working together. We should be making decisions together, and doing things that get us excited about this project.
“I mean, look at what Pinkie got done,” Applejack said, sweeping her hoof through the air as she drew attention to the room. “This here is one of the best kitchens I’ve ever seen, and she got it done by just taking some ponies off the night shift. Sure, it kind of put a wrench in some other things, but the palace wouldn’t have this room if she hadn’t put her heart into it.
“And that’s something else I haven’t been thinking about. We all have seats in the throne room. This is going to be Twilight’s home, but this palace also represents our friendship. Heck, Twilight would probably making a fuss right now that all we’ve been focusing on is her.
“So, do you know what we’re going to do?” Applejack asked, to which her friends could only shake their heads. “I’ll tell ya what we’re going to do. We’re going to have fun with this and work together, like we should have been from the start. Rarity’s going to have her ballroom with this great kitchen of Pinkie Pie’s to make any delicious treat anypony could ask for.”
Rarity began to smile, nodding her head. “I do suppose this is a better use of space, and honestly, between all six of us who’s really going to sit in a sitting room long enough to make it worthwhile?”
“That’s the spirit,” Applejack said with a firm nod. “And Fluttershy, we’re going to have those palace gardens with room for plenty of nice little critters, but we’re also going to have Rainbow Dash’s pool.”
“What? Really!?” Rainbow grabbed Applejack by the shoulders, looking the mare dead in the eye. “You aren’t pulling my leg, right? I can actually have the pool?”
“Eeyup,” Applejack said, chuckling a little at how much she had sounded like her big brother. Rainbow Dash leapt into the air, somersaulting a few times in celebration to the amusement of her friends below.
“But what about you Applejack?” Fluttershy asked. “If we’re getting all these things, it would be a shame for you not to add something to the palace.”
“Honestly, the part I want to do is where Twilight, Spike, and Nyx are actually going to live. Those three deserve someplace nice and comfortable, a real place to hang their hats.” She then shrugged her shoulders. “And, if I find the time, I wouldn’t mind trying to plant a golden apple tree in the garden. I want ta see if I can put Celestia's to shame.”
“That all sounds well and good, Applejack, but what if we don’t get done?” Rarity asked. “Do we really want to go adding things now? What about getting done before Twilight gets back? And how are we going to organize all this?”
“I think the six of us will still need to keep ahold of the reigns of this wagon, but a lot of our volunteers are smart ponies. They came here to help, no matter their reason. If we break this project into a lot of smaller bits, I believe we can trust all them ponies to work together and get everything done. Sure, it will be a lot more hectic. There'll be more feathers and fur flying than if ya dropped a fox in a hen house. Why, I imagine Discord would be grinning ear to toe hearing what I’m proposing.”
“Don’t you mean ear to ear?” Rarity asked.
A small chuckle escaped Applejack’s lips. “Knowing Discord, I meant exactly what I said. Anyway, ponies do their best work when they’re doing what they have a passion for. Some hate painting with the crystal mortar, but others like it. Why not let those who aren’t having fun go outside and help in the garden or help tear down some other wall. It’s not like that’s the only job that needs doing.
“So what do y’all say?” Applejack asked, extending her hoof. “No more boss Applejack. Now we’re working together, and succeed or fail, let’s have fun doing it.”
The other four mares nodded, adding their hooves to Applejack’s before all five raised them upward in a unified cheer. Applejack then picked up one of the plates of cookies Pinkie Pie had baked and motioned towards the door. “Now come on y’all, let’s go take these treats to all those hard working ponies outside and tell them how things are going to work.”
“Only if you have one apple fritter right now,” Pinkie Pie said, holding the freshest fritter in her hoof. “Because I really am sorry I made you mad.”
Applejack chuckled, and then like a shark emerging from the water, chomped down the whole fritter in a single bite. The mares began to laugh together, gathering up the baked goods in preparation for taking them outside. All the while, no one noticed a particular origami pony sneaking out of Fluttershy’s mane and flittering out the nearest open window.
~~~
“Spell Nexus?”
The dark blue unicorn with light gray mane didn’t look up from his desk as a few papers floated by. For several months he had been maintaining his position as Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorn’s headmaster. After his run-in with Nyx over Hearth’s Warmings, he had finally been able to get his own life back on track. He was still a few pounds heavier than he once was, and there were perhaps a few wrinkles that had not been there before. Still, things had regained an old normalcy. Perhaps a tad mundane compared to being the leader of a cult, but he wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.
“Yes?” he asked before applying his signature to another form that required it.
“I know you’re busy, but we had a small disturbance on campus. Three fillies got separated from their parents, and started crying. Some students brought them here to the front office, and we’ve been trying to get them reunited with their families.”
Nexus nodded, giving a small wave with his quill while still focusing on his work. “That’s very good. Glad to hear the situation was resolved.”
“Well, it isn’t resolved, sir. The fillies won’t tell us their names or anything. They just keep saying they need to talk to you.”
Spell Nexus looked up from his desk for the first time, seeing his secretary standing just behind the chairs on the opposite side of his desk. There, beside her, were three little fillies with saddlebags, smiling and waving. Three little fillies he recognized all too well. “I see,” he said as he dropped his quill into the inkwell. “Don’t worry, I know these fillies and their families. Please give us a moment, and then we’ll get them back on the train to Ponyville.”
The secretary nodded, stepping out of the room and pulling the doors shut as she left. Spell Nexus then leveled his gaze at Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom as the three fillies made themselves comfortable in the cushions on the opposite side of his desk. “I’m surprised you three didn’t sneak in here in the brown paper bag I use for lunch.”
“That was what I thought we should do,” Scootaloo said, she and Apple Bloom sitting on one of the cushions while Sweetie Belle sat on the other. “But Sweetie Belle thought this would work better.”
“Of course, because nopony is going to just ignore three crying fillies,” Spell Nexus surmised.
“Oh no, it was just Sweetie screaming,” Apple Bloom said. “Trust me, she was doing more than enough screaming for the three of us.”
Scootaloo nodded before rubbing a hoof against one ear. “I think my ears are still ringing.”
Spell Nexus chuckled as he folded his hooves on top of the desk. “So what’s the mission this time, Cutie Mark Crusaders? I don’t think there’s anypony that needs rescuing here at Celestia’s school, and all three of you are a little young to be applying for admittance. That and won’t your families be a bit concerned when they realize you're missing? ”
“We need to talk to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna,” Apple Bloom said. “It’s urgent.”
“Has something happened in Ponyville?” Nexus asked, a twinge of true concern filling his voice. He rose from his desk, and took one step to the side. “Are Twilight and her friends in danger? Did something else get out of Tartarus?”
“No, nothing like that,” Scootaloo said. “Twilight, Nyx, and Spike are being kept busy in the Crystal Empire while everypony else is working on her new palace.”
“That sounds very nice,” Spell Nexus said as he slowly returned to his seat with an arched eyebrow. “That, however, doesn’t seem entirely urgent, or something that demands the princesses’ attention. If Twilight’s friends needed the princesses’ help, I’m sure they would have come and asked for it themselves.”
“They don’t need the help, but we do,” Apple Bloom said as she opened her saddlebags. She held the flap while Scootaloo removed a book and placed it on Spell Nexus’s desk. He looked at the book for a few moments, then drew it closer so he could properly read the title.
“You need help with one hundred and one superior sugar sweet recipes?”
“No, we need help with what’s on the inside.”
Spell Nexus made a nod. Though not entirely interested in the crazy scheme being presented to him, he was willing to humor the girls for the time being. He cracked open the cover, and was surprised to see the book was hollow. A somewhat clean rectangle had been cut out of the thick pages inside, and the gap was filled with several small bits and bobs. “What is this?” he asked as he levitated a few items out to inspect them more closely.
“Did you know about Nyx’s treasure book?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“No, it doesn’t ring a bell.”
“It was a green book that Nyx hollowed out. She made it just like that one, a little secret treasure box.”
Spell Nexus stared at the three fillies, his mind tripping back. In the interleaving months, he had recalled more clearly what he had done while ‘blessed’ by Nightmare Moon’s poisonous drive and thirst for revenge. The thought, the memory of a green book bubbled to the surface. There was one green book he remembered clearly, one he had been so happy to turn over to his queen, The book she had them retrieve from Twilight’s library. The book he had been told contained dark plans for the future of Equestria.
He almost wanted to smile at the thought that Nyx had used him under such false pretenses to secure such a precious item.
“It’s a lovely book girls, but I’m afraid that still doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
“Nyx’s old treasure book got destroyed with the rest of the library,” Scootaloo said while Spell Nexus continued to pick through the contents of the book. He drew out the red crusader cape and the kazoo, a chuckle on his lips as he took in each item. “We’ve been making her this new one, but it’s missing something.”
“We need a picture from Twilight’s coronation,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well, there were a lot of photos taken that day. Wouldn’t it be easier to go talk to somepony at the Canterlot newspaper?” Spell Nexus asked. He began putting the book back into order, returning all the items to the interior piece by piece.
Apple Bloom shook her head firmly. “No, it wasn’t just any picture. It was a special one. It had Nyx, Twilight, Spike, Prince Armor, Princess Cadance, Twilight's parents, Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna all standing in the same room where the wedding happened. When Nyx showed us the picture, it was the only time we’d seen one like it. Our sisters don’t even have that picture.”
“It must have been just one for the immediate family and the princesses then,” Spell Nexus mused as he closed the cover on the book. He then smiled, levitating the book back into Apple Bloom’s bag as he got up from his desk. “I can’t make any promises they’ll have a copy they can spare, but I don’t think the princesses will mind if we pop over to the castle for a moment. But then it’s straight back to Ponyville for you three. Am I understood?”
“Yes.”
“Of course.”
“Eeyup.”
~~~
“... and have a pleasant afternoon.”
Celestia shut the doors to the small meeting room, letting the smile fade from her face as she turned around. Luna was standing up from her seat at the table as well, stretching her legs and wings before shaking her body like a dog trying to dry off from the rain. While they were both tired, Luna looked particularly exhausted as she had been working against her normal sleep schedule. She was up all day, asleep all night, and was barely able to attend to any of the many feverish nightmares spawned by Tirek.
“What’s next after this, Sister?” Luna asked as she rolled her neck, her words carrying her dread of what the answer might be.
“The Equestrian Farmer’s Union have a meeting to express their concerns about the recent attack by Tirek, just like the Weather Pegasi’s Union before that, and just like the Zebra Delegation before that.” Celestia moved over to a window, looking outside and feeling the temptation of an early fall breeze. The windows were just big enough. If she and Luna truly wished, they could just escape into the sky, but that would only cause more headaches down the line.
“I do not recall the population of Equestria being so skittish a thousand years ago,” Luna said as she moved up beside Celestia, looking out a neighboring window. “It seems all we’ve done since Tirek’s defeat is reassure all these different groups that he is not a threat they need to concern themselves with.”
“It’s been an unusually turbulent few years, so I can’t blame them for being concerned,” Celestia said as she watched the comings and goings of Canterlot. Ponies strode the streets and flew the skies. From her view, Equestria was peaceful and happy, as it was supposed to be. “Most citizens were reassured by the articles that were printed in the kingdom’s newspapers. But there are always some, like these union groups and the delegations, that feel like they can’t believe what they’re being told unless it comes straight out of a princess’s mouth.”
Luna chuckled as she looked over to Celestia. “Well, let me offer my apologies.”
“For what?” Celestia asked.
“For the intolerable stream of meetings you undoubtedly endured when I came back from the moon.”
Celestia laughed openly, Luna’s words striking an odd chord in her mind. “Oh yes, I have some particularly clear memories from those days. There was one group from Applewood who wanted to make a movie about the whole thing. They even had a draft of a script they had hurriedly typed up on the train ride to Canterlot.”
“Was it any good?” Luna asked as she began heading back to her seat at the meeting table in preparation for their next visitors.
“The play performed in Ponyville last year was more accurate, more respectful, and overall more entertaining.” Celestia took a step to follow Luna’s lead and return to her seat when the door to the meeting room cracked open. A guard poked his head in, short on breath as if he had been galloping.
“Your Highnesses, I know you are busy, but we could use your assistance in the castle gardens.”
Luna rose from the cushion she had only just gotten comfortable in and strode around the table to approach the guard. “What’s happened?”
The guard opened the door further, and gave a respectful bow as he reported. “As you have been informed, the cooks have been reporting some loss of food from the pantry. This was assumed to be the result of rats, but the true culprit was revealed just minutes ago.”
“That sounds like good news,” Celestia said as she came to a stop next to Luna, the pair standing shoulder to shoulder as they listened to the soldier. “I assume something happened when this culprit was discovered.”
The guard nodded. “Yes, and it is why your presence is requested in the gardens. The guard believes we can contain the situation given enough time, but the longer the culprit goes undefeated the more collateral damage the castle will suffer.”
“Who exactly is this culprit?” Luna asked, a question that left the guard struck silent for a moment. He opened his mouth once, then made a small popping noise with his lips as his mind searched for the best way to describe what they were facing. He then looked back to the princesses, his lips caught somewhere between a frown and a smile.
“Your Highnesses, do you recall when Discord gave legs to some brownies at the Hearth’s Warming party?”
~~~
Celestia couldn’t deny, it was a sight to behold. Standing in the gardens of Canterlot Castle was a giant brownie creature, roaring and writhing as it dripped pure, melted chocolate from its mouth like saliva. It was the shape of a dragon, but instead of breathing fire, it was capable of spitting a stream of solid milk chocolate. Several guards had already been turned into decadent statues, and amongst the victims were three fillies and one particular stallion.
“I didn’t imagine our next meeting would be so sweet, Nexus. What’s the occasion?” Celestia asked, her words ringing with a small chuckle as she used her magic to free Nexus’s head from the chocolate. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, I’m fine. The chocolate isn’t even hot,” he answered as he was freed chunk by chunk from the sweet statue prison. “But these three certainly seem like magnets for chaos. I’d almost call it a special talent.”
“Cutie Mark Crusaders... Chaos Detectors?” Apple Bloom said as she, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle were freed by Luna. “I wonder what that cutie mark would look like.”
“Yes, I’ve heard a few interesting stories about these three from Twilight,” Celestia said quietly to Nexus, as to not offend the small fillies. She then let her voice return to its normal volume as she looked at the brownie dragon. “Though, special talent or not, I suppose it is better they discovered this particular pest before it got much bigger. Luna, would you like to dispel it or shall I?”
“Allow me, Sister,” Luna said as she spread her wings and called on her magic, a smile on her lips. “I’ll gladly slay this beast, and revel in the chaos as I do so.” With a single beat of her wings Luna was airborne, charging at the brownie dragon with what could only be described as a joyful battle cry. “Have at thee!”
“You two seem entirely too happy to see us,” Spell Nexus said as he was freed from the last of the chocolate.
“Let’s just say Luna and I can both appreciate this variety of relatively harmless chaos after the past few days,” she said as she watched Luna battle with the dragon. She had summoned her twin swords, and was swooping around the creature while cleaving off near perfect brownie squares with each pass. “So, what brings you four to the castle?”
“We need a picture!” Sweetie Belle said with a big grin before the three crusaders launched into an elaborate explanation of what had been going on in Ponyville. They told of the castle and its renovations, of their efforts to rebuild Nyx’s treasure book, and how they had arrived at the castle. It was an amusing story, and one Celestia gladly listened to. It was a welcome interruption to the schedule of meetings she and Luna had been enduring.
With the way Luna was fighting with the brownie dragon, Celestia knew her sister felt the same way. One spell and they could have cleaned up the whole mess in under a minute, but Luna was dedicated to slaying the dragon properly, downing it by the blades of her swords and nothing else. So far she had managed to lop off several sizable chunks, but had yet to land the brownie-killing blow. For a walking pile of soft, moist, chocolatey dessert, the dragon was very nimble.
“I wish Luna and I had been informed of the project sooner. We would have gladly come and joined in the efforts to renovate the palace,” she said as she watched Luna slice away one of the dragon’s solid chocolate horns. “Still, at the very least, I know we can assist with your contribution. That was the second of two pictures taken before Princess Twilight made her first public appearance. The first photo was just us four princesses. In any case, it will be simple enough to make a copy of the second photo for you to add to Nyx’s book.”
“Thanks so much, Princess,” all three fillies said in unison.
“It’s no trouble at all. It’s the least we can do to thank you for uncovering this little surprise.” Celestia motioned to the dragon. “I do wonder how it was stealing food from the kitchen at its size.”
“It was really small before we cornered it,” Scootaloo said. “So maybe it can make itself smaller.”
Celestia gave a small nod. “That would make as much sense as any other explanation for one of Discord’s creations.” A final roar brought the ponies’ attention back to the fight, and Luna was wearing a great smile as she landed next to them. She had the head of the brownie dragon levitated in her magic while, behind her, much of the body had been almost surgically cut into piles of servable brownie squares. “You’ve got some chocolate in your wing, Luna.”
“Yes, the confectionery creature managed to graze me as I flew, but that was the only blow it was able to land.” Luna levitated the dragon head a little higher. “The head seems to be made of particularly delicious brownie. I was thinking we could carve it up in front of the griffin delegates next week. Lady Razor Beak has a weakness for brownie, and the whole delegation would surely be delighted by such a well shaped sculpture.”
“That is a marvelous idea,” Celestia said, using her magic to take the dragon’s head from Luna and hold it out to Spell Nexus. “If you wouldn’t mind, Nexus, please take this into the kitchen with the fillies. Luna and I will help tidy up what’s left of the dragon, and then join you there.”
“Yes, Your Highness,” Spell Nexus said, replacing Celestia’s levitation spell with his own. He held the brownie dragon’s head at hoof’s length, but began to head inside with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom following in his wake, chattering about how amazing Luna was for slaying the dragon. It left the two royal sisters smiling as they remained on the balcony.
Luna dematerialized her swords, and began using magic to remove the chocolate from her wing. “That was a delightful distraction. Remind me to thank Discord next time I see him. Yes, perhaps it would have been better if his little legged brownie hadn’t managed to grow to such proportions. Compared to some of his other chaotic calamities, however, this one was most enjoyable. That and I believe just about everypony in the castle will be able to take a plate of brownies home this evening. A wonderful boost to morale.”
Celestia nodded her head. “Yes, though I imagine some of the guards who became chocolate statues may not be so keen to take bits of the beast home to their friends and family.” She called on her magic, managing to levitate one of the perfectly square brownie bits from the top of a pile. She brought it close to her mouth, taking a greedy bite and delighting at the flavor as it danced across her tongue. “How did you get such perfect cuts?”
“The dragon was falling apart that way. I can only guess that it is another aspect granted to the creature by Discord’s magic.” Luna finished cleaning her wing and folded it back against her side before turning to head back into the castle. “Though, I suppose with the beast slain, we must be returning to our duties. The next meeting won’t attend itself.”
“That is true, but I’d argue they aren’t our priority at the moment.” Celestia chomped down the last of the brownie morsel.
Luna turned around, looking to Celestia as she arched an eyebrow. “Why’s that?”
Celestia swallowed and then licked her tongue around her mouth, getting the last crumbs of the brownie as she began to walk into the gardens to help expedite the cleanup. “Didn’t you hear, our presence is needed in Ponyville. The new palace is undergoing renovations without a princess to oversee and ensure it is a suitable representation of Equestria as a kingdom. In fact, considering they’ve been working unsupervised for at least a few days, it may very well take two princesses to correct any mistakes.”
Celestia glanced back at Luna, seeing doubt flash onto Luna’s face, but then her sister’s lips blossomed with an understanding smile. “Of course, Sister, and we must not forget the three young fillies. We should escort them home immediately. Their families must be worried. We really haven’t a moment to spare, even to tell Kibitz of our change in schedule.”
“We’ll leave him a note,” Celestia said as her magic began to break apart the remaining body of the dragon. “After all, Kibitz is a busy stallion as well. I’d hate to interrupt him just to tell him we’re leaving.
Cute chapter.
Nice to see that everything aside from Twilight's story is coming together for the ponies in question. I adore the Crusader's little side project though. But Luna having battle in the background of a casual conversation and the eventual fate of the brownie beast head were my favourite parts.
The walking brownies, of course
Great job on this chapter, I look forward for the next one
Oh god, best chapter NA
Also, life's more interesting with a little bit of chaos here and there
Love it! I think I'm going to have to go make brownies now.
Cutie Mark Crusaders Chaos Detectors? More like... Cutie Mark Crusaders Chaos Makers! Either way, Discord would be proud.
That's a really good idea that didn't even occur to me until now. Next time I make something with a laminated dough, I'm trying that
I like the brownies as an example of how life can be improved with a little chaos.
Brownie Dragon.. why do i want stats for that in D&D?
Im wondering if the small one they found, and the large one they fought, were the same one, or the CMC took their eyes off it for just long enough for the small one to get back in the nest, and warn mother.
jurassic Park 4 after all.
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Ah, my mistake. I thought it was indeed Disney. However, it is older than me, and as such I'm calling El Dorado old.
Am I the only one who suspects that the interference of the princesses might be a bit of a problem?
Awesome to see Spell Nexus basically babysit/ serve as tour guide for the CMC. I hope this continues and that we get some badly needed caracther moments on him, since essentially the only glimpse we have had as of now as to his true " normal" personality is the letter at the end of "Winter Bells" at all previous moments he was either Possessed! Nexus or wallowing in despondency.
Odd though that Luna and Celestia seemed to notice nothing off about Twilight Cadence Shining and Nyx going missing. Are they in on the plan via Discord? do they just dont know about it? something feels off here.
A very enjoyable chapter. Great job.
A giant dragon... made of brownie....
Oh, fer th' love o' Nessie... *double facehoof* If'n ye touch that drag'n, Lad, ye'll be sleep'n' with th' swine fer a week!
*glances at Silver Blaze for a moment* Worth every second, Silver. FOR LUNA!!!*ignites pair of orange-bladed lightsabers and launches self at bronwie-dragon*
Dam't'al t' Tart'rus...
Am I the only one who wanted to know more about the CMC vs Giant Brownie creature? knowing the
that could have turned into a really funny part.
Princesses playing hooky? Nice!
Keep going! ;)
And then Celestia and Luna became a two headed pastry dragon that hoarded the crystal palace....'s kitchen! .... what? Itd make an epic yet silly twist fight for Discords campaign.
Give me an unlimited supply of milk and I will eat this creature into crumbs.
Nice defeat of the brownie dragon... if only such a dessert existed in the real world.... minus the attacking bit. I love how Celestia and Luna have their plan to go help oversee the castle renovations. I can just see them trading in their regalia for construction pony clothes and their crowns for bandannas.
6160539 Indeed!
6160896 forget DnD, I want it in the real world as a dessert!
6161194 You know that after a few days with the Crusaders Spell Nexus would be hiding under his bed with the furniture piled up against the door as they knock on it saying, "Mr. Nexus, are you awake yet?"
Glad to see the return of Spell Nexus and find out he has managed to get his life back in order. Poor pony deserves a happy ending.
Okay, I'm thinking that you're trying a bit too hard to stick to canon. After all, in this 'verse, Twilight has two kids, not just Spike. Wouldn't the Tree of Harmony make a throne for Nyx too? Or did Spike get the short end of the stick?
Dragon Shouts are loud.
As a huge "Past Sins" fan I read 6 chapters scrolled down 7th and don't understand why I should read next ones. It's not "Past Sins" it's not even Pen Stroke it's just Hasbro advertisement. I don't understand why glue "Past Sins" to MLP where it never belonged. MLP ended. Somebody thinks it happened after 3rd season (Twilight as character died. Not because of wing or possible immortality but because she suddenly became 10-15 years older mentally.), somebody after 4th, somebod still believe that everything is OK but it started to deteriorate from the 3rd season and now everybody have somehing to hate and treat as non-canon. Incorporating it in one book will be just mixing a barrel of honey and a barrel of shit which results in 2 barrels of shit.
Sometimes it's better to stop in time not make fans wath the decay.
6166805 Did you write that comment just to see how many dislikes you could get?
6166805 You know, normally I keep quiet with people like you, but I have officially lost all of my patience, so it's time for a rant.
Pen Stroke is taking time out of his life to write a story to entertain his viewers. There are so many other things he could be doing, but, every two weeks he gives us more to enjoy and we should be grateful for that. But, you seem to think that going on an incredibly depressing and mean spirited rant all because you don't like how he's writing it is the best way to thank him.
Next up, according to you Twilight Sparkle as a character is dead because, *gasp* SHE GREW AS A CHARACTER! OH, THE HUMANITY! Ignoring just how stupid that whole part of your little "rant" about how everything after season three sucked, Twilight matured to show she was embracing her responsibility as a princess. If she was constantly going on one of her little freak outs, everyone would have saw her as unreliable and never paid her any mind. When you're an authority figure, people are going to inevitably look to you for advice. You have to be able to show maturity in a BIG way (something a lot of politicians should look in to). But, nope, if Twilight is anything more than the purple smart one, she's officially a bad character now. Everybody boycott the show.
Also, you're claiming that this story isn't Past Sins, just a big Hasbro advertisement. Yeah, kinda like the show. I genuinely enjoy the show, but let's not forget, Hasbro's first concern is to sell toys and to make money. That's not the first concern of the writers or the actors, but, let's not forget who is paying for the show to be made.
Also, you're acting like it's so horrible that Flash Sentry was included in the story. Yeah, a character who was written entirely as a joke is being included in the story, grab your torches and pitchforks. I seem to vaguely recall in Winter Bells, Pen was able to give Shining Armor a legitimate character when he'd been in about three episodes before hand and had almost none. Flash has been in about four chapters now, and I don't hear or see an angry mob. Maybe because, and I'm just going out on a limb here, it's because Pen was able to make it so he isn't completely intrusive. Also, what makes you think Flash is going to be the one who saves the day in the end. I recall that a few days before the story began, Twilight was fighting a pissed of and vengeful centaur and was winning pretty handily.
You act like you're offering legitimate criticism, but all your doing is saying, "I don't like this, so nobody else should." A good critic explains why he doesn't like something, not just constantly says, "It's shit, the end." In the end, you're nothing but a spoiled brat who has to constantly put down a guy who is only trying to provide him with entertainment on a semi-regular basis. And the worst part is, I have to explain all of this to you. Also, check your damn grammar before you post your comments you ungrateful little shit. I've seen first graders who make fewer grammar errors than you.
I see you gave both princesses a mischievous side. And to be honest it will be nice to see Luna being great with foals again.
This was a very funny chapter.
A brownie dragon?! YES PLEASE!!!
6170099
English is not my native language. The world if you don't know consist not only from USA. Despite easy understanding from 95 to 99.9% of texts I write badly and I don't know how to improve. Looks like some people just really bad in foreign language. And I don't mention how English-speakers write in my native language. It's usually impossible to understand.
I don't want to discuss why MLP is dead it would take huge essey and 100 pages of discussion about but I'll say about Twilight. Her growing up was just single act off alicornization not mental development. All other characters remain as they were in the 1st season and this puts Twilight in Celestia's position of moralizer for them which usually just boring. Since she and Rarity were the most developed characters this made a huge destructive blow to the show which in 5th season degraded to the level where it's better to stop.
I like Twilicorn but only as a reward. Screenwriters simply don't know what to do with her since no one knows how to make interesting cartoon about bureaucrat. ~20 Years girl as high rank ruler of 19-20th centure country? Come on no one would believe! It's a deadlock screenwriters placed themself in.
BTW S5E12 points out perfectly why the whole "Twilight as princess of friendship" concept fails miserably. It's just strikes through the whole 5th season. But I guess you'll not understand it anyway.
OK lets look from other side. What do Pen Stroke himself expects? That we'll download and read it. But why should I spend my time for a story which proved itself bad from the very beginning?
And what I should do? Lie to him or to myself that he wrote a great book? Or simply wait for the end and then write the shortest possible essey: "Not Past Sins"? It's very unpleasant to get such a response but that what he'll get for very objective reasons from many fans of "Past Sins". By your logic any negative responses must be forbidden.
Do you remember the situation when Rarity asks M6 about free dresses? The same situation she expects praises but no one is happy and somebody must voice it. With only one thing reversed (see below).
We love not advertisment but the show. I don't think Pen Stroke got any money from Hasbro so his attempts to kill his own masterpiece look strange.
And what do you expect from me? Reading 300-400 pages story to find out what Pen Stroke will do with a blank "character" from unrelated spin-off which half of the fandom doesn't consider as a canon?
1) Non-canon character=non-canon story. Burn it down.
2) It's standart practice for fan-fiction to write pairings in description because for many people undesired pairing is a reason to discard a fic without reading. Fandoms could be splitted apart by this. That's how fandoms work. So it's not a good thing to joke about it's playing with fire. Ruining the greatest MLP-fiction ever just for some joke about the most-hated character?? Seriosly?? It's like tossing money in a fireplace when you can take regular wood. Jokes about Flash Sentry could be funny in separate unrelated story but not in "Past Sins".
Who is Flash Sentry? Some orange stallion without any personality from non-canon spin-off who's projection in school world helped Twilight. Who never appeared in MLP itself and who is hated by the whole fandom. For Twilight he's not a brother not a boyfreind not just a friend he lives in different town and it's hard to imagine how he can raise any interest in her. Who's Twilight for him? Strange princess he saw a couple of times. Who's Nyx? He should not know about her existance. And now he as fairy tale knight somehow rushes to the quest of saving Twilight and her daughter. The quest he has no chances to complete without arising more hate. It's not a joke it's just a farce.
I can suggest only 2 things:
1) Let him win and fuck Twilight. Half of fans will proclaim it heresy non-canon and bullshit without reading. I'll remove the file from my HDD and proclaim "Past Sins" dead. But at least it will be honest.
2) Remove him (and all EG references) completely from the book and from his misery because he simply doesn't deserve all this attention. "She bumped in him and blushed". In some parallel universe. I think I shouldn't explain why such a "love story" doesn't deserve not only development but just mentioning. It's impossible to rehabilitate him no matter how hard you try.
Pen Stroke may like EG but mixing it with "Past Sins" can only reduce the number of readers. Significally. Meghan McCarthy knew what she was talking about when she demanded not to mix EG and MLP.
In any case I respect RealityCheck that he didn't rewrite his work in favor of later official changes. And at least I can believe that Twilight will love the suitor he created for her. It's standart practice to write your own universe not violating it to glue with content which was relased later. It's usually impossible and RtH demonstrate it perfectrly. We should imagine that Nyx was somewhere off-screen during 3-5 seasons and Cadance was heavy pregnant at the end of S4 but everything else was the same??
And one real story from "Chip and Dale RR" fandom. There's one famous fic-writer named Gyrotank. He's not native English-speaker but he's so productive that can write hundreds of pages and translate it to English. His trilogy is "Past Sins" of CDRR-fandom and 2nd book from it won Best fan-fiction competition in 2007 (IIRC). And one day he decided to write his own sequel to well known in CDRR-fandom graphic novel "Of Mice And Mayhem". But he decided to include as many technical details as possible and changed canonical pairing of original work. The result was more than 500k words. It drowned. Totally. I got personal invitation to read original text but after very few chapters I had to respond that I can not read about undesired pairing and the text must be halved. Other responses were the same. Huge amount of time was spended in vain. Again. And what should I do? Wave and smile?
Now "Road To Home" goes the very same road. It overloaded with everything from the show, EG (burn them alive), IDW-comics (Seriously? I can pay Hasbro for licence hire artists and make my own "official" comics. Everybody with enough money can.) and has the very bad basis. And I don't know what Pen Stroke plans to do with the 5th season and "princess of friendship" since all this bullshit is allogenic not only to "Past Sins" but MLP itself.
"Oh Nyx dear my Cutie Mark is vibrating so I've to go to the edge of Equestria to force somebody to be friends. I'll be back at supper. Be a good girl and behave yourself".
"Past Sins" is not MLP it's totally different and more complex universe where many cartoonish things would look strange. Many things from PS wouldn't fit in MLP and not only violence. Practically all important fan-fiction based upon children stories have to create their own universe and allow rather liberal treatment of official materials. But Pen Stroke been an excellent writer himself often ignores it and incorporates bad decisions which are not even his. Good example is using pony Christmass play with M6 in main roles in "Winter Bells". At least 3 of them are bad actors and Flattershy is afraid of the stage the idea looked strange in MLP itself and M6 played just themself. But in "Past Sins" it just impossible. OOC detected. The world doesn't spins aroud Twilight and her friends so the theatre can hire real actors. And that's the difference between a character and a puppet forced to do whatever the author wants.
IDW-comics and huge part of MLP itself simply don't fit in "Past Sins" and must be treated extremally carefully.
Speaking specifically about IDW most of them are crap. I liked the comics about Spike and Celectia it's a good jibe but it doesn't fit in "Past Sin"'s universe anyway.
Now he incorporated everything awfull Hasbro made in last 3 years. Everything! For what? For another "joke"?
I spent enough time for constructive critique especially about Flash Santry as GPGH go some pages before.
I don't like EG and I said it directly. I can write very specific essey why I don't like EG but I guess I would not say anything that was not said 100500 times before. Turning cute drawn pony to ugly drawn girl is enough for me to vomit. So lets skip the logical problems part.
About everything else. Well was I the only one who said that "castle building"-line is boring? Was I the only one who said that discribing Discord actions hard to read? BTW I remember the very same problem in "Wise Beyond Her Years" because it's objective problem of direct transferring screen-character to the book where he needs walls of text. I can add that Discoerd is overpowered. Was I the only one who don't understand how PS and EG can be connected, who is Nyx's projection in EG school world and how this school world works in the 1st place? He established in 1st book that Nyx requires constant protection and now somehow brings half of Equestria including every fucking one-episode character to build a castle for her. Seriously?? I don't know may be he has some plans to overcome it but then why upload chapters one by one?
But you know what? Pen Stroke wouldn't have to take half of Equestria to make rebuilding of Headquartes of Ministry of Friendship funny (which fails miserably) if wouldn't try to glue "Past Sins" to MLP 4th season in the 1st place. That's the main problem he incorporate awfull decisions he can't fix anyway insteed of making his own strory. Like Rarity tossed out her good disigns and incorporated every stupid suggestion from M6 or Hasbro incorporated every fandom meme in 100th episodes so half of fandom was happy and other half proclaimed it the worst episode ever. They ever planned a "joke" about Flash Sentry asking why everybody hates him but somebody (may be Larsen himself) hammered a little common sence in their heads.
Practically it looks like attempt to write a story for everybody. Do you like Coco Pommel? Here she is! Do you like Flash Sentry, Cheese Sandwich, IDW...? There's no real plot, no competition, no drama just a mix of everything where everybody has something for hate. From other side Pen Stroke's own story in Nyx+Spike and Twilight+Co. lines look interesting.
We don't want this bullshit from Hasbro we want Pen Stroke's "Past Sins". Without "jokes".
I'll prefer to ignore it.
Nice to see Applejack get over herself a bit in terms of the design of the castle. Hell, a big fancy kitchen is probably going to be immensely useful even during the construction. Lots of hungry out-of-town mouths to feed, after all.
Brownie dragon was a very fun inclusion, enthusiastic sword-fighting Luna even more so.
Fighting a chocolate-theme monster...oooh, how I wish I could have been there. True, I might not eat much, since I would lose my taste for it quickly, but still, it would still be a delight. And, heck, I would even got some entertainment from Luna's fight beforehand.
Welp, I'm all caught up and now I am so going to fave and like this story to death...!
Lovely little chapter there. Especially towards the end, Celestia can be such a troll. Then again, I bet everyone would love to escape what they have to go through
That was a great chapter I really enjoyed all the nice little actions over by the castle I also am worried that when Celestia and Luna go to oversee the castle it won't be good Though I personally think they just want to get away from the committees which I can't blame them for wanting to I WANT MOAR SOON! If that is alright with you
6201575
I accept your apology. But It also mystifies me. I say it mistifies me because I do not understand why you would assume that I would Judge 2 billion people based on the actions of one guy on the internet. I know many Christians, the author of a story that I am a major editor for ( one that actually has Nyx as the main character) is a conservative Christian, and more importantly I used to be a christian myself. Really are you guys told that anyone who isn't a your specific type of christian doesn't know any Christians and thus they may prejudge millions and millions of people based on the actions of one person? because only a fool would do that.
As to my opinions, this is a comment section so you know, I give them. RealityCheck on the other hand, shoehorns his opinions into his stories where they do not belong . I on the other hand make a strong point of keeping my political and religious opinions out of my story because as you say they have no place in My little Pony fanfic.
Also I do not mean to be insulting and I understand if you do not answer this question but I dont interact with YEC types frequently so I just have to ask ... how do you DO the young earth thing? I mean we KNOW the world is not 6,000-10,000 years old ( using the common age range of young earth creationism). There is no controversy or dispute over this. You have to disregard essentially the entirety of science to be a young earth creationist. There are living creatures alive right now that were also alive ten thousand years ago, disproving young earth creation by their very existence. In Fact we do things every day that would be impossible if Young Earth creation was true. example: Yesterday I filled my car with gasoline. We know that it takes millions of years for plant and animal matter to turn into fossil fuels. We know because we have studied the rate of decay in laboratories. according to the evidence gasoline comes mostly from the carboniferous era ( the name literally means " era of carbon")300 million years ago whereas YEC says they are the result of the devastation of the great flood. Anyways the point is that according to YEC the earth is thousands of years old, but we know for a fact it takes millions of years for organic matter to decompose into fossil fuels... so if the earth is a young creation, what precisely am I running my car on?
and if your answer is " god miraculously created fossil fuels miraculously" well that answers everything doesn't it? and thusly It answers nothing.
I mean suppose I told you I did not believe in gravity. And you told me" how do you think we stick to the surface of the planet". And I say, "a miracle of god" how would you convince me otherwise? anything and everything could very well be a miracle of god, so the answer " god did it" answers nothing because it could in theory answer everything, thus it has no predictive value, and thus it does nothing to allow us to better understand reality.
Pen, you never disappoint.
The chocolate dragon, was, without a doubt, the highlight of my evening. Total awesome!
Offtopic
http://snakeonmoon.deviantart.com/art/Handcrafted-Past-Sins-545652409
Homemade mini book (~20 cm width opened) of "Past Sins" in Russian. As I understand it's the second translation which was finished some weeks ago.
A brownie dragon? Discord, you're magnificent.
6165316 Of course he did. It's SPIKE, after all.
6202723 And then there's stars to consider.
Stars are really, really, REALLY far away. We know the exact speed of light, yes? However, it's not instantaneous, which means the light from those stars has taken thousands if not millions of years if not LONGER to reach us. Longer than Young Earth creationists say our world has existed. How can they explain that?
Well, okay, there's lots of ways they could. Say God made the rest of the universe and saved Earth for last for some reason. Or deny the speed of light, or say the stars aren't really that far off, but pretty much all these explanations implies absolutely everything about astronomy, astrophysics, and other aspects of physics are wrong. (Which again, admittedly, is something I suppose many conservative fundamentalists would insist on.) While science isn't always right and what we believe to be absolutely correct can change if given enough evidence, this is still a pretty big leap. I'm curious as to how a reasonable-enough Young Earth adherent would explain this discrepancy, though.
6215583 ...Wow, you're right
6216190 Don't thank me, thank Neil Degrasse Tyson.
6215592 I purposefully did not bring up the stars issue because that is the one thing that YEC's are trained to answer. It is almost the " cliche" question they expect and they have dozens of " answers" for it. Not good answers but certainly "answers".
Of course in the end all their explanations boil it down to " I believe that an all mighty God creator of the Universe made it that way". From a mere logical standing, there is nothing wrong with that explanation. But it is a fundamentally meaningless one. Because if there is an all powerful creator God out there, then just about anything could happen because God made it that way. Which means there is absolutely no logical reason to ask questions, if one truly believes that an all mighty god is out there and that such a god intervenes in our universe and makes things then the answer to everything can easily be " god made it that way."
To illustrate this let me engage in a thought experiment That i will call " Last Thursdayism".
Suppose you and I meet, and we have a conversation, and for whatever reason the conversation takes a turn into a discussion on the origin of the universe. At which Point I drop The following bombshell.
" I believe that the Universe was created by an all mighty and all powerful creator. What is more this creator has revealed to me that he created the universe, exactly as it is, last Thursday"
( for clarity from this point on all of " your" lines in this dialogue are in italics)
you stagger back." last ... Thursday???
" yes"
"as in eight days ago??????"
"Precisely!"
" but that is absurd"
" nothing is absurd for the allmighty creator of the universe".
Now think. how would you disprove this? Assuming that I am genuine in my belief, what could you possibly choose to show me that I could not explain away?
" here is a newspaper from a year ago"
" again god created everything exactly the way it is last thursday. The paper states that it was a year ago, but that is impossible because the world is 8 days old. it was created like that , by god last thursday"
or how about
" but we have been friends for more than 8 days"
" god obviously wanted us to be friends, so when he created us he gave us memories of being friends. He also gave us memories of all our loved ones. Isn't it amazing, to know that there is a divine meaning and purpose to our relationships? can you imagine being an atheist and thinking that if you lived in a different part of the world you would have different friends? I can't imagine living without hope like that"
" oh come on! we know that things are older than eight days. look at the stars, they are light years away some of them billions of light years away! if the universe was made eight days ago we wouldn't be able to see any stars except the sun"
" no. god made the universe eight days ago. Yes light is travelling now, but eight days ago god placed each photon in precisely the right place, and they only began to travel eight days ago."
" ohh come off it, we have fossils of animals that are nowhere to be seen! these fossils are millions of years old!"
" no they only appear to be millions of years old beause god made them look aged. Besides given that humanity has only existed for eight days it has no true conception of what a year is, so whenever you hear scientist talking about millions of years right there you can tell that they are making things up"
" but why would god make up fossils of things that no longer exist if he just created the world last Thursday"???
" Must be part of his plan"
" but why would God make the universe look billions of years old if it really was created last Thrusday???? Is your god some kind of trickster god??"
" Who are you to question The all powerful creator of the Universe??" and so on.
See the thing is I would have no evidence backing my claim up BUT if I believe wholeheartedly that there is A god that can create universes on a whim and that he created the universe last Thursday( or 6,000 years ago) that means I no longer need evidence because in my head all possible evidence necessarily conforms with that, since the all powerful creator of the universe could have made the evidence look the way it does for whatever reason suits the ineffable plans of God.
Creationists may argue that the " evidence" supports them and all manner of such things. They may tell you the reason why science does not interpret the evidence in the same way as they do is, in essence, because of some conspiracy and so on. But in the end, all YEC belief comes down to " the all powerful creator of the universe could make things look as old as they appear to be and still make them 6,000 years ago" and once you accept that there is an all powerful god physically creating every single thing then that is a perfectly logical thing to say.
Also an incredibly dangerous thing.
Imagine if the creators of germ theory had been content with the idea that god created disease for his own purposes and decided not to mess with that and thusly did not carry out any research!
6216771 Yeah, figured it'd be something like that. Oh well.
His only crime was BEING BORN DELICIOUS!
I love this so much.
My best guess would be something like the PKE meter from Ghostbusters and a picture of Discord.
Shouldn't that read "a stream of liquid milk chocolate"? A stream of solid chocolate sounds more like a bludgeon than a breath weapon.
Celestia and Luna never fail to entertain as they look for ways to worm out of work.
And here we see them in their natural habitat: Alicorns. They're the only known natural predator of Giant Cakelike Entities, and it's their prerogative to hunt them down at every opportunity.