• Published 26th Mar 2015
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Interviewing Mr. Disc - CrackedInkWell



The art teacher, Mr. Disc is called in to be interviewed by a CIA agent over the disappearance of a missing student at Canterlot High.

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22: Epilogue and a Postcard.

Author's Note:

Because... Why not?:trollestia:

“…. And that was how the multi-universe was unmade,” I said as the last tiny mound of huckleberry slipped off the spoon with wings and into my mouth.

The Crusaders blinked, “What does that have anything to do with what we were talking about?” Scotaloo questioned.

I shrugged, “Sorry, I guess in my rumblings, I may have forgotten what we were talking about. So… What was it again?”

Applebloom gave a frustrated sigh, “Possible carriers that we might wanna look inta next.”

“Oh! Oh yeah,” I said, flicking the spoon that smacked to a nearby window like a windshield. “Let’s see… You three had already covered inter-dimensional travel, cinematography, pyrotechnics, writing that adorable book about me… So what haven’t any of you three had done?”

“Um, excuse me, dearie,” I looked up to find the blue lady that runs Sugar Cube Corner. “Are you done with your ice cream?”

I told her that I was, and when she asked where the spoon was, I pointed over to the window.

She grunted, “Not again,” the waitress muttered as she took the spatula out of her apron.

As she tried to peel the spoonfly off the window, I and the Crusaders saw that the Twilight with glasses was walking her way around the building to the front door. She came into the lanky yellow guy with the white hat, asking for a cranberry muffin with iced tea.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head like an exploding lightbulb. “I think I’ve got something,” the three kids asked what I was talking about until Twilight the nerd got her order and looked for a place to sit down.

“Hey, Ms. Sparkle,” I waved over to her, “Come here, I wanna talk to ya for a sec.”

The purple teen raised an eyebrow, “What do you want?”

Awe come on, all I did was mistaken you for the other Twilight and probably accidently sent you to an alternative universe, had you get lost in an enchanted forest with mythical and possibly dangerous creatures for a couple of days, and confront your other self that got off to a rocky start – why do you have to be so cautious around me?

“Just come here, me and the girls want to talk to ya about something.”

She frowned, “If this is about the whole friendship thing, then no thank you.”

“Now hold on a second,” I interjected, “Whoever said that this was a friendship thing?”

“Look, I don’t want to deal with those guys that tried to force me into being friends with those I have nothing in common with. You know somebody like Fluttershy, or Rainbow Dash, Sunset Shimmer, those people. I’m trying to have a relaxing summer, okay?”

“And I’m telling you, this has nothing to do with friendship at all, just try to hear me out.”

Reluctantly, she put her food on the table and asked what I wanted. “Tell me,” I said, “have you ever had the chance to teach someone before?”

She shook her head, “Not really.”

“Had you ever considered perusing a career in teaching?”

“Well… a little. I used to dream that I would become a teacher one day if it weren’t for the lack of social skills. I don’t think I would be a good one anyway.”

“How about we test that?” all of the girls at the table wondered what I was talking about. I turned to the Crusaders, “Tell me, girls, have any of you done anything with science?”

“Y’all mean like, being a scientist or somethin’?” Applabloom asked.

I could see the gears turning through their eyes as they generated the same idea.

“Hold on,” Sweetie Belle squeaked, “Have we ever thought of doing that before?”

“Doing what?” Twilight intervenes, “And where are all of you going with this?”

“I don’t remember if any of us have,” Scoot’s confessed, “Maybe would become scientists. Actually, that might be kinda cool.”

“Y-Yeah,” Bloom caught on, “Ah think Ah see where this might be goin’.”

Twilight looked at me, still confused, “What is going on?”

“Ms. Sparkle,” I purposed, “How would you like it, just for the summer, like to teach these three what it is to be a scientist? If the counterpart that I know is anything like yourself, you have a passion for dissecting the world, measure it, and try to figure out how it all works, correct?”

“Um… yes?”

“Good, so how about it? How about you test that little dream out on these three? They’re always eager to learn how if you show them.”

Twilight hesitated, “Um… I-I don’t know.”

“Oh come on,” Sweetie Belle said, “Please…” She added, giving her some very large puppy eyes.

“But… I don’t know if-”

“Come on,” Applebloom drawled, “maybe we’d help ya with some experiment yer doin’.”

“But I don’t think I’m that good with kids.”

“We’ll behave,” Scootaloo begged, pulling off a kind of pitiful face that would have her win an Oscar if this was caught on camera. “I swear on Crusader honor that we’ll do what ya say. We just want to know what we’re good at.”

Twilight stuttered, but that three pair of teary eyes forced her to give in. “Ugh, alright, fine,” she said, and there was much rejoicing.

"YEA! CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SICENTISTS! YEAH!!!"

“Could you not do that,” Twilight said, putting a finger in her ear to stop the ringing.

I could tell that she wasn’t completely sold on this, so I tried to sweeten the deal by said, “Hey Twilight, how about I further the deal with something.”

“Like what?”

Tilting my head, I tapped my fist in one ear, and one of the books from my personal library falls out the other. “If you would take the time to teach these three for the summer ever so often before school starts I will give you this.”

“A book?” she questioned.

“Ah, not just any book,” I explained, opening up the first few pages. “This is a very early copy of Gulliver’s Travels. It’s over three hundred years old, but, it’s who signed this that makes it very, very special.”

I showed her the autograph that’s right under the long title. She gasped, “Voltaire! You have a book that’s signed by Voltaire?!”

“This is his copy in French,” I explained, “So if you want this, all you need to do is teach these three every week or so a little bit about what it’s like to be a scientist. Deal?”

Without hesitation, she agreed. And from the Crusaders, there was more rejoicing.

“Ooh! Ooh! Can we call it Twilight Time?” Sweetie Belle asked as they followed Twilight to another table, leaving me behind.

Not that I mind, lunch was done and the Crusaders are being occupied, so I guess I could leave…I could lea-ah… ah… AH… ACHOO!

I covered my nose with my right elbow, and a white envelope fell out.

Blinking, I picked it up, “Okay… that’s new.” As I’d checked the little paper envelop that had my name and stamp on it, I flipped it over to find the elegant words of, “Open Me” on the back.

After sniffing it, concluding that I may not have anthrax, I opened it with one of my sharper teeth and pulled out a postcard.

At first, it was a still image of a ponyfied version of Principal Celestia. I could tell because she even has the vanilla suit on. And then, the image not only moves, it even spoke.

“Hey Julius,” she said, her voice sounding like it was coming out of an old radio. “It’s me Celestia, and before you start taking your pills, don’t worry, this is really happening. The card you’re holding… well, from what I understand, it’s enchanted that it plays back a recording of what is going on as I speak. But hey, it’s magic so I guess it’s best not to question it, right?

“Anyway, I, Luna and Mom want ya to know that we’re doing fine here in a place called Lost Saddle Beach. At the moment, the three of us are just relaxing, enjoying the warm sun and cool breeze and taking a dip into the sea now and then.”

Then the picture moved from Celestia’s horse face to another, this time it was Luna, laying in the shade of a palm tree with her front legs behind her head with sunglasses. She tilted her head towards the photo.

“Say hi Luna,” Celestia said.

“Oh come on Cel, put that thing down, I don’t think it’s recording,” her little sis replied.

“No-no, I think I’ve got it right this time. Now say hi to Julius.”

With a sigh, Luna said, “Hey Julius, even though you may not be seeing this, we are having a good time on a beach in the middle of nowhere.”

“That’s not really true,” a female voice corrected her. “We’re still not too far from Applewood.”

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Celestia’s voice was heard as the picture now swung to the sandy shoreline until it rested to the horseified Agent Faust, laying on a blanket by the sea under the shade of one of those beach umbrellas – and surrounded by an army of staff in uniforms, two of which who were next to her were fanning palm leaves while a stallion was mixing a drink.

“Say, Julius, remember how you came here with Mother? Well, here in the country of Equestria, she’s basically seen as the Messiah.”

“Now, now Celie, how many times do I have to repeat myself,” Faust said, lifting her sunglasses, “I’m not the Messiah; I’m a very spoiled mare that’s overworked.” There was laughter from the servants when the joke was said.

“Now mom, won’t you say something to Julius since I’m sure this thing is recording?”

“Actually, since you’ve mentioned it…” she said as the picture zoomed in for a close up on the agent’s face. “Julius, if this thing is working, I want to say thank you once again. This time, it’s for letting us find this place. I must say, this is without question, the best vacation that we’ve ever had. Period. I mean, would ask for anything we want, we can skip lines, get into hotels for free, and being treated like gods ever since we’ve stepped through the portal. I would love coming back here, don’t you girls?”

There was an agreement between the sisters.

“Anyways, a bit of advice, when you do come here, ask for some tickets for the Sapphire Shores concert. Oh! Now she knows how to entertain! Trust us, we had fun and you won’t regret it, I promise.” She tilted her head to her right, “So, do you want to add something?”

The picture was taken once again, showing Celestia’s face, “Oh, and I guess I should show you one more person before I end this…” she looked around, “Now where did he have gone to?”

“You called?” a familiar voice inquired, making Celestia jumped.

“Augh! Discord! Would you stop doing that?”

“What? I was trying to have some fun,” the other me explained as the postcard now moved to show the other me in a safari outfit, hat and all. “Oh! You’ve finally got that thing working I see.”

“So it is working?” Celestia asked.

“Yeah, see that little red dot in the corner,” he pointed to the card, “that means its recording.”

“Oh good,” she sighed, “So before I end his, is there anything you’d like to say to your other self?”

He put a lion’s paw to his chin, “Actually… I do!” He straightens up, looking directly at the postcard with a none expressive look… Uh-oh.

“In my previous expiation,” he said in a British accent, “My party has traveled through the deserts and thick jungles of Zebraca. While there, we’d encountered tribes and wild creatures that served drinks at too high of a price for anyone is reasonable to pay. Anyway, one of these tribes, a lion one, has given me this as a souvenir to take home.”

Here, he pulls out from his creamy colored shorts a little wooden statue of a carved lion’s head. “They called this in the village ‘Lowo Kuletha Amashwa.’ While the name could be mistaken for a type of coffee, the name actually translates to, ‘He that Brings Bad Luck.’”

“Uh, Discord,” Celestia said in a cautious tone, “What are you doing?”

“Ever since,” he continued, ignoring my Boss, “My home sweet home has turned the way I certainly don’t want it to be. All the dishes were clean; the dust bunnies had committed suicide by going up the vacuum tube. And just recently, a certain mailmare has dropped an expensive marble statue on my head. So without further ado…”

Suddenly, his claw popped out of the postcard, with the statue in it, and dropped the carved object on the floor.

“As payback for busting my nose, you keep it,” the other me said with a wicked grin. “Have a good day,” and just like that, the card went static before it faded to black.

I looked down at the small wooden statue at my feet before I heard a cracking noise from above. Looking up, I saw a good chunk of the fresco of the restaurant celling was forming above my head.

“Crap,” was all the time I had to say before some plaster fell upon me.


Two years later...

Comments ( 14 )

Sweet, sweet revenge!

And here I thought this fic was all good and done. BRAVO! Loved it all! Now if you excuse me...

*runs off to give counseling to surviving dust bunnies*

6235058 Those poor poor dust bunnies :fluttercry:

incredible ending to an incredible fanfic

The ending makes it seem like there's going to be more.

6260626 Thank you for point that out, I shall fix it immediately.

I’m not the Messiah; I’m a very spoiled mare that’s overworked.

So I guess you could say that she's an overworked alicorn?

Is there going to be more? Please tell me there's going to be more. I absolutely love Mr. Disc's personality way more than Discord's.

Now I hate this Discord even more. Mr. Disc was always the victim of that jerk!

7484660 Question: when was this fic written?

7487514 :facehoof: Man it's so obvious! I wish I thought of that.

7917444 If I remember this correctly, I think I've started to write this before I heard any news about them or the Equestrian Games.

7918183 By the time I heard what the movies had made cannon, it was already too late to reverse it, so I was forced to create my own.

Liked the story and the others, but I wonder what happened exactly with Luna in the asylum, what Discord did and what the Asylum did. And also, what type of problems is the statue going to give...

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