• Published 26th Mar 2015
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Interviewing Mr. Disc - CrackedInkWell



The art teacher, Mr. Disc is called in to be interviewed by a CIA agent over the disappearance of a missing student at Canterlot High.

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10: Discord the Human.

I quickly glance around, thankfully to find nobody around, “What do you think you’re doing here?!” I hissed.

“What else,” he said, popping a tacky yellow and orange Hawaiian shirt to replace the eerily similar identical clothes that I was wearing. “You might say that I'm on vacation.”

My eye twitched, “By coming here of all places?”

“Why not?” he snapped his fingers for one a coconut glasses with a little umbrella with a red crazy straw sticking out. “I’ve always wanted to see what it’s like over here.”

I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into a janitor’s closet; I snapped my fingers to light up the small space. “First of all,” I said, glaring at him, “How did you even get here anyway? I thought their Twilight had put some kind of curse or what have you on that portal from you getting in.”

“She did,” he took a sip from his drink, “Of course, it took me a good while to come up with a way, but I did find it alright.”

“How?”

“Why, though you of course,” he let his drink go, it didn’t fall, it just floated there as he clapped his hands. Suddenly, the closet became a classroom, completed with a chalkboard. “Here’s a riddle for you, my other self: how do you get passed any security in existence when you’re not invited?”

He turned to the chalkboard and used a finger to draw a cross-section of… well us in that weird creature.

Although fuming as I was, I already knew the answer, “Hold on, you tricked the portal?!”

“And give the boy a canoe,” suddenly, I found myself sitting down in one. “It was so simple really if I was able to see your side world, what better way to do so then to trick it that I was a part of you? I figured that I might as well have you smuggle me here by letting the spell think that I was nothing more than saliva. Of course, I had to stake at the back of your throat to do it. So I waited, you went through, and now I’m here!” Suddenly, with a “Pop!” the ceiling had started raining with confetti and balloons.

At this point, I couldn’t tell if his logic was incredibly brilliant or stupid. But before I could respond, I heard the voice of Faust calling out.

“Julius? Where are you?”

“Oh joy, just what I need,” I cursed, turning to my alternate ego, “could you just stay here for a moment, Ms. Redhead still needs to scold me.”

“Really?” he asked, tearing the chalkboard off the wall to revile a huge TV set behind it. On the screen in black and white was the hallway, with Faust looking around. “I didn’t know it was on tonight,” he whistled for a Lazy Boy and sat down with a bucket of violins which he began to start crunching on.

Figuring that he’s only there to enjoy the show, I turned to the door to find her a few feet away.

“You called?” I asked and she snapped her attention back to me.

“There you are. Julius, I still need to have a word about what happened back there.”

“I’m listening.”

“Firstly, as noble as it was for you and your… other self to find both of the girls, you did break the order that you were not to leave out of my sight.”

“But you have to admit, you were the one who left me, to begin with. Plus, my other me did offer something helpful when we went on to locate them. Which, by-the-way, was something that you weren’t doing.”

“I was forced into talking with my other Luna and I found it next to impossible to leave once she started talking.”

“Still, you can’t really hold me accountable here, let’s look at the fact that I’ve ended up helping you find this world’s Twilight and bring her back home. And that’s exactly what happened.”

Faust nodded, “I suppose so. I want to both thank you and curse you. Thanking you for your assistance in finding our Twilight Sparkle. Yet cursing you at the same time for I have to deal with a magical nation from an alternative universe that I’m going to be stuck neck deep in paperwork.”

“Why Faust, I’m-” I was quickly interrupted by the sound of growling that was coming from the janitor’s closet.

“What was that?” she questioned.

“My stomach,” I answered, “is it time for dinner already?”

She looked at her watch, “Well it is past five.”

“I’ll tell you what,” I had her walking away from the closet and nearing the exit. “I know that you’re a busy woman and all, plus I still have my car keys. How about we both go our separate ways for now and take care of… whatever that needs to be taken care of.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“Maybe,” I said closing and locking the door on her. Even with her knocking, I turned my attention back to the closet to find-

“Down kitty!” he yelled, holding a fishing rod in one hand and a whip in the other, trying to calm down a lion.

Out of pure annoyance that has reached its peak, I snapped my fingers to have the titanic classroom turned back into a closet.

“Hey!”

“Look,” I told him, pointing a finger at him, “I know that you’d easily get bored often, so do I. But at the moment, I’m trying to make things less complicated than they already are!”

“Complicated? We’re chaos itself! It’s not that hard to get.”

“That’s not what I meant, I’m saying that with you here now and she sees that we’re both here, that would mean that things would get much harder for you to enjoy your vacation.”

After frowning he said, “Very well.” He sighed, “So then, what do you do for fun around here?”

“Hold up, how long are ya planning to stay here?”

“Plan? Oh dear me, you out of everyone already know that I don’t plan. I just do.”

“You know what I mean,” I grumbled.

“I do have one other question though,” he said, looking down on himself.

“And what’s that?”

“What exactly did I turn into?”

I facepalmed. Hard.