• Member Since 26th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen April 6th

Death Pony


When nopony ever seems to die, what does an out of work reaper do? He writes stories I guess.

T

A True Atlantean and one of the last Undead Slayers in the Multiverse has been fighting the forces of darkness for a very long time. Seeing a new Guidepost appear in the Multiverse, he goes to investigate and hopefully warn them about the impending trouble such a feat may bring to their world.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 20 )

I like this...
Keep going or...
or...
or...
Shit, if I kill you, then you can't keep going!
CURSE YOU, BUT I WILL COME BACK!

I like this, though I hope the character doesn't end up Gary-Stu-esque. Def. has the potential to go that way in my opinion. While not always bad, it can certainly detract from the story.

5780228 Of course, that's always the rub. It will be a nice tightrope to walk, keeping things interesting while not overpowered. Keep in mind, that the Rifts Universe is the magnum opus of Palladium Books, really high level stuff in which most things would obliterate anything on Equis. I've got some limitations set and other plans though, so no worries. Hope you enjoy the read.

5780263 It's always interesting to see how other writer's can tip-toe the line and I usually learn something from it, so I look forward to it. :) And yeah, just based on the crossover alone, dude's going to be a bad-ass, which I don't mind too much. ;) Though most won't see it this way, you can have an absolute bad-ass without him being a Gary. ;)

I understand that he is pretty much a roleplaying character, which can have these abilities. Even if he destroys eveyrthing that comes at him that doesn't make him a Gary Stu, it however DOES make him uninteresting. People need to actually realize what a Gary Stu is. If I dropped goku or batman or superman into equestria is he a Gary Stu? No, their just flipping awesome. A lack of reasonable conflict or interesting reactions to their unique situations is what can make a stu. Heck, their could be no fighting at all in this story and it can be all him learning to fit and and live a life without constant battle. That could be the conflict he faces.

So finished the chapter, and ya. You need some conflict in their, or just something. He gets along with everyone a TAD to well. Maybe his manner of speaking should of caused rainbow dash to roll her eyes and compare him to frou frou rarity or something. Also( “Now girls, I get the sense you want to feel bad for me but everypony has trials they must overcome in life. I’m here, and I choose to believe I am the pony I am today because of the life I’ve led.) Was a perfect opportunity, if he accidentally said man, instead of pony, or his mannerisms are off, or SOMETHING. Anyway, just some food for thought, I still liked it, just a little worrisome.

5783970 I agree. The lack of mistakes in his speech is all "it's magic" since he's using magic to speak to them, I'm hand-waving that for the moment, but a good character should face both internal struggles and external conflict, all which are planned. Even from the outset, you have someone who could (say like Goku) level their entire planet accidentally, they will find themselves having to adjust or hold back or like many fics I've read, simply start killing everything that seems hostile because, that's just how they've always handled it before now. Maintaining the integrity of an entire civilization while trying to ready them for possible annihilation should be a fun write (and therefore read).

Should probably have Zeus swing by for a drink or something next chapter. ;)

...still waiting for him to jinx it...

I have to fav and tracking for now. i really like it. if you keeping make alots this chapter. it will be great. also, follow. to make sure. i won't miss you story.

Pretty good, lets see where It goes.

Pretty good, lets see where It goes.

6002833 I just answered that question.

this is good i hope it continues

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