Lord Fetlock Equinari, The Ponytrician of Flanhk-Marepork. Grammar Tyrant, Rogue Editor at Large, Pungeon Master, Dispenser of Unsolicited Wisdom.
Imprisoned in Tartarus, Tirek receives a valuable lesson in the importance of friendship from a most unexpected visitor. Friendship lessons are always a good thing… aren't they?
Entry for the EFNW 2015 Pre-Con Contest prompt "Making new friends".
Proof-read by Honey Mead and King Kenya. Thanks for your help!
Now with bonus chapter: "Expended Resources"
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It'll fall apart when they hit the part where friendship requires friends to genuinely compromise or sacrifice for each other, because their definition of 'friendship' involves only 'as long as we are both getting everything we want'. But until they hit that point they're still going to do a crapload of damage.
Well, you certainly have my attention.
... I will say that that sounds like they're going to segue into a porno.
Duh duh DUUUUH!
Well, this would end badly, whichever way in ended...
Though points for them actually trying to learn how to value their allies: it's really the only way to go about conquering things (says the Lawful Evil person.)
Well this is just like it was with Discord.
Really, Chrysalis? Right after Twilight & Co get their biggest power boost yet? After they effortlessly crushed Tirek when he was all but a god? With Discord fully on the side of Harmony, and already having proven he can track down Tirek with ease?
You claim guile, but despite your research into the ponies' history you seem blind to the most obvious points of the Elements of Harmony and the principles that have guided Equestria.
Friendship is not a calculated measure to exploit the most power from one another; kindness is not expressed in the hope of eventual recompense; generosity is not shown in theft; loyalty is not shown in calculated sacrifices designed to bind another to your cause; honesty... well, you might have that, despite your deceptions. You were straightforward and without guile here, and if you built this relationship upon honesty then it could be said that your lies outside of that friendship are meaningless.
Frankly, they could never hope to exploit the Elements of Harmony or any of the myriad magics of friendship.
There's something else to consider as well. If Tirek took magic from ponies across Equestria, he would likely have drained no small number of changelings (who I presume either had a full physical transformation that didn't require magic to continue functioning, or else everypony else was too exhausted by magic loss to act upon). their magic would have been restored due to Twilight & co. If changelings have a full-fledged hive mind that would be an insignificant matter, but if there's individuality amongst changelings... well, I imagine quite a few would feel a debt, and hold little love for Chrysalis working with the one who eat their magic before.
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Indeed at this point it is a 'friendship of convenience', but who knows where that could lead given time?
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Well, I was more aiming for "cheezy cartoon villain one-liner"... but once again, who knows where their new-found friendship might lead?
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Who says this is "right after"? As explicitly stated: "For all Tirek knew he could have been imprisoned for ten days or a thousand years."
Remember that this story is told from the viewpoint of two beings that don't really understand friendship; they only see it at this point for the promise of advantages that it might bring them. To have one (or both) of them suddenly experts in friendship would be, in my opinion, incredibly contrived. Tirek has only ever had one friend, his brother; who in Tirek's eyes betrayed him. Chrysalis has never had any friends, so her studies into what the ponies do with their friendship are from a completely outsider perspective.
This is early days. Twilight was hardly the friendship expert after the very first episode, was she? They are feeling their way blindly, and their perspectives are flawed. Not only are they making new friends (as per the prompt), they're taking their very first steps towards understanding friendship, misguided as they might be. Give them time.
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*poke poke* Make a The Villain Wins story off of this. I wanteth it noweth!
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Well, if they hope to actually invoke the 'friendship is magic' effect for reals, then they're going to need Honesty, Loyalty, Kindness, Generosity, and Laughter.
Some of those they can manage -- they're being quite open with each other, mmmmaybe the cosmological rules allow you to have mean laughs at someone else's expense and still count (even if Pinkamena would probably disagree), but Chrysalis' definition of 'kindness' is still notably off the mark and I doubt either of them will ever achieve genuine loyalty or generosity in a thousand years, given that both of those require deliberately giving of yourself for no return benefit and they're both sociopathic magical parasites whose entire existence is structured around taking vital essences from others with no return.
So, (Soup Nazi) NO HARMONY POWER FOR YOU! (/Soup Nazi)
Still, the process of them /trying/ to will still allow them to get into the more effective ranges of Lawful Evil, at which point the mess is gonna be /huge/.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
Aside from the logistical problems others have pointed out, this is the first story submitted for the Everfree contest that I've read that stars two of the villain characters. It's a nice change of pace and an interesting idea too. I don't think it'll beat out the other candidates, but I personally think it's really neat. I wouldn't mind seeing more of this story, actually!
Anyway, good luck in the contest regardless!