Walking Down Memory Lane...
Nyx turned and fell backwards into the hole, a wide grin plastered on her duplicitous face. Luna hesitated, carefully stepping through the gateway, only to feel the sudden shift in gravity pinning her hoof to the wall leading down. “This is…”
“Very different from a pony’s mind? Well, Humans are aligned more with chaos than order, and when you combine that with a few centuries of semi-consciousness while trapped in stone, well… Things were never going to be entirely whole. So, where shall we start?” Nyx danced upon the concrete wall, chuckling at each of Luna’s hesitant steps.
Luna’s gaze glanced around at the pulsating corridor, her eyes adjusting to the encroaching gloom. “I’d prefer to start with something important to her.” Luna ignited her horn for light, concern setting her lips into a frown. “It’s growing dark.” The Night Princess began to hasten her steps. “Is this normal for her?”
Nyx hummed as they reached one of the branching halls, glancing between them, before veering left. “When she’s going to have a dreamless night, yes. It also means we need to be careful.” The spirit moved close to her former partner. “Her worst memories and inner demons manifest when this happens.”
Luna’s brow rose. “That’s deeply concerning. I knew her mindscape was volatile, but-”
“Oh, I’m sorry, Immortal Goddess, It’s like you're in my home or something.” Nyx’s growl echoed against the quieting din of Illua’s mind. “But I’m not joking. Illua’s mind is like a minefield.” Nyx’s hand ran over one of the black masses, her hand glowing. “It’s full of mental barriers, psychological scars and defense mechanisms. Things that, if manifested in a pony, would be things like a monster or a recurring actor in their dreams.” The mass shrunk under the doppelganger's hand, revealing a doorway once hidden. “The problems aren’t that we can see them, but that they can see us.”
Luna cocked her head as she followed Nyx into the newly revealed room, whose walls were lined with peeling paper, and it’s floors coated with a synthetic carpet. Furniture loomed large over them, as if walking into the giant’s den. “Explain plainly, Nyx. You remember from our time together that you need to be clear in the realm of dreams.”
The spirit froze momentarily, only to snatch Luna towards the immense leg of the couch, one hand around her neck, the other on her mouth. Luna struggled only for a moment before the thunderous thudding of footsteps were heard. Quiet sobs were heard on the other side of the furniture.
“Get out here, you little bitch. You can’t speak to me that way.”
“Leave her alone Dad!”
“Get out of the way!”
A body could be seen crumpled across the room, comparatively tiny to the sheer enormity of the foot near the two visitors. The sobbing intensified. The sound of a knife being sharpened screeched. Luna’s squirming stilled as her eyes locked on the child. Nyx gently lifted the alicorn and began walking to the other end of the couch, where a little girl was covering her mouth, trying to muffle herself. Her intense shaking would not stop, nor would the swivel of her head as she watched for her terrorizer.
“Found you… Time for punishment…” The slurred voice said, reaching down and snatching the little girl out from view, her screams and kicking bouncing off the walls as the dark chuckling of her assailant highlighted her fear.
“This is one of Illua’s worst memories.” Nyx grimaced as Illua’s childhood scream was suddenly cut short, and her body dropped to the floor, her hands pressed up to her mouth as an ocean of blood oozed out. Everything around them blurred like water on a windshield, the room scaling down to a regular size for the two of them, with statues marking the memory’s end.
Luna broke free of Nyx’s grasp, gasping for air as her stomach churned. “What in Mother’s name was that?!” her shoulders heaved as she staunched the nausea, wings firmly closed against her sides.
“I told you. One of Illua’s worst memories. Obviously she didn’t die--”
“You know well that is not what I’m getting at, Nightmare!”
“Oh, you mean what exactly happened? Illua’s tongue was cut out by her own father in a drunken rage. She survived, obviously, but she lost her ability to speak as a result. She suffered repeated abuse from her father, and her brother tried to protect her every time, much to his own suffering.” Nyx crossed her arms across her chest, leaning on one leg. "This could have been worse if we had been seen by ‘Father.’ The fact that he’s not still walking around is a blessing.”
Luna’s gaze set into a glare, looking at the statue of the man with the knife. “This ‘Father’ is one of her monsters?”
Nyx took a long look at Luna, before sighing. “Yes, and each of them can directly attack you, Luna. They aren’t stuck to a script, if we find them outside of a memory.” Nyx began walking to the end of the room, and opened the opposing door.
Luna followed suit as she paled. “... This will be a long night.”
“That it will be.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The door opened into a sterile hallway, the two wandering souls drenched in cold water falling in. Luna gasped for air, vomiting the water in her lungs, shaking and fighting her own urge to cry. “How is her mind so violently twisted?!”
Nyx shook the chill off her bones with a quick wave of the hand, helping Luna with the same. The screams of Illua’s memories were silenced as the door behind them closed, being replaced by the consistent beeps of machines, and the dull buzz of overhead lights. “I did warn you about her memories manifesting... Oh.. we’re here of all places.” Nyx took a few cursory steps towards one of the glass windows, peering in on a slightly older Illua, and a lady in a pinstripe suit. “Come, look.”
Luna followed suit, her ears swiveling towards the various noises of the ward. “This is a hospital, is it not?” Nyx nodded, before pointing at Illua. “What is Illua doing here?”
The lady stood and kissed Illua on the forehead, before leaving the room to speak with the nearby doctor. “What’s going on with my baby?”
“Well, to be frank, it’s not good. Your daughter, Seinaru has aplastic anemia and paroxysmal nocturnal hemoglobinuria.”
“What does that mean? She needs to take iron pills?”
“Her body not only does not make enough red blood cells on its own, but actively destroys them and the stem cells in her blood marrow. With careful treatment and study, we can perhaps stymie the symptoms and--”
“Doctor… Is it fatal?” The older lady sniffled, crossing her arms across her body.
“Without treatment, she will die in a month’s time. The fact she’s not dead right now is a miracle with the scars, abuse, and the stress she’s been under. Her hair color will never recover, and while we have the facilities to take care of her here, she will have to be monitored for the rest of her life.”
“Will… Will she ever be able to c-come home?”
“I can’t say.”
The lady took a solemn seat by the door to her daughter’s room, and began to silently cry, as Illua’s own tears began to fall, right as they became statues.
“Illua’s…. dying?" Luna sat heavily as she rested her hoof against her forehead. "Wh-Why didn’t either of you speak about such a disease? Dost thou not-”
“Luna, it’s wonderful you empathize for her, but Illua- Rather, Seinaru, has only told this to one other being in Equestria. As far as the two of us are aware, she’s been long dead, as there are only three Equestrian immortals.” Nyx sighed and pushed at the swinging hospital doors, revealing a hidden library. “For now, it’s none of your concern. Welcome to the Memory Library, where we can safely continue our conversation.” Nyx waved Luna into the warped library, decorated with stairs, doorways and hallways on every surface and gravitational orientation.
"There are a few others, but that's not important right now." Luna stood and followed Nyx into the library, her head swiveling to follow the myriad paths. "This place definitely feels Discordian in nature.” Luna’s eyes glanced from shelf to shelf, her eyes trying to map the area. “Why is it all books though?”
“This area is controlled by your perception of reality. As such, perhaps a theater may be more to your preference.” The walls ground as they twisted and stairs slid into new positions, transforming the confusing labyrinth into a simplified movie theater. Reels replaced books, as a projector manifested in the middle of the room, pointed towards a rippling silver wall. “Take your pick of what you’d like to see. I’ll make some popcorn.”
Nyx floated away towards a makeshift concession stand covered in gaudy advertisements and clashing colors, leaving Luna to flip through the now accessible shelf of reels. The Siege of Trottingham, Burials circa 798, Playtime with the Foals… They’re sorted based on what they relate to… Her hoof stopped on a reel with a pastel striped ribbon, gently pulling out to see her sister’s name on it. “Nyx, I think I found one I need to watch.”
“Put it on then.”
Luna nodded and set the reels to the projector, and set them spinning. Nyx returned with some popcorn and a pair of candy bars, helping the two of them settle as the memory began to play.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Illua slammed the doors of the throne room open, much to the surprise of the ancient nobility. Whispers spread like wildfire through the crowd as Illua approached the monarch. “Celestia, do you have a moment to talk? It's incredibly important and I’d rather not say it here.”
Celestia merely chuckled. “I don’t mind, is it not something that can be said here?”
The memory skipped to the hallway outside the party, with Illua holding up a scroll full of notes and scribbles, pulling other scrolls out of her backpack. “Celestia, did you forget our deal? I spent the time investigating each of the nobles you asked about, and I have all these scrolls full of incriminating information on them and how they’re abusing your citizens.”
Celestia serenely nodded, looking over each scroll. “And how can I trust that these aren’t fabrications? Surely you must understand that I have to ensure that these are–”
Illua threw the bag down. “Celestia, I just spent the better part of a year out wandering your fucking kingdom and learning spells to mask my presence at your behest to get this information. How can you just immediately dismiss these?!”
“I’m not dismissing them, I just can’t–”
“You can’t just trust me for once? Because I’m a For’ner? Or is it because you have the nobility in your ear again?” The Memory began to accelerate as the fight began, smearing out to Illua curled up in a guest room of the castle.
Celestia barely cracked the door. “Illua?” The reel skipped again, to the two of them yelling at each other. “Fine! Leave Illua! Prove me wrong then!”
“I will and I will burn your precious nobility down with it!” Illua forced her way past Celestia, leaving the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luna tilted her head. “Is...her memory of Celestia this corrupted?” Luna halted the reel, carefully extracting the film to see bits stitched together and blacked out.
“The Human mind was not meant to live for more than a century, Luna. The fact we have this much clarity right now is still surprising. I’d skip ahead a bit.” Nyx popped a piece into her mouth, watching as Luna replaced the film and pushed it forward a few cycles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buildings were burnt from the clash between Illua and Celestia, in a city far removed from Canterlot. “Illua, what are you doing here? Why are you and so many ponies attacking others? I thought these were just riots.”
“Celestia, I told you I’d burn your nobility to the ground. I’m just starting with the worst offenders.” Illua picked up a crawling pony wearing a suede coat by the mane. “Now, are you willing to confess your crimes before your Princess?”
“I-I- I’ve done nothing wrong or Illegal! Why are you doing this, you savage?!” he cried out, his hooves pushing futilely against Illua’s grip. “I-I swear on my b-bloodline!”
Illua looked up at Celestia. “Has he? Because this scroll I gave you a copy of says otherwise. Oh, and the 40 or so ponies he had caged up in his basement with price tags pierced through their ears, with dragons looking over them like pieces of meat.”
Celestia’s wings drooped as she looked at the noble, and then back at the numb human. “Let him go Illua.. We can talk about this..” Celestia’s horn began to glow, only to be shot by a crossbow bolt from a rooftop. The pony waved at Illua, his price tag drooping his ear.
“No, we can’t Celestia. We tried before. Now I have to do it my way.” Illua drew her blade and pressed it to the noble's throat. “Any last words for your precious princess?” The Noble shook his head. “Good.”
Celestia lunged for Illua, only to be slammed by a large piece of rubble, courtesy of Unicorns with more price tags in their ears. Illua drove her blade into the noble's skull, and twisted, severing his upper skull from the rest of his body, letting the corpse drop before her. Celestia struggled to push the rubble off of her as Illua walked away, waving at her ponies to retreat. “Illua, you’ll pay for this, you can’t just do this!”
“I will keep doing this for as long as you think they’re worth protecting. I’ll pay for my crimes in due time, but the time for persecution is nigh.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Luna quivered, her wings raising as she stifled her need to purge. “That sounded like you were in control..”
“Yes and no. At that time, I could not manifest separately from Illua at all, and so we oftentimes shared the voice when we were in full agreement, like what you just saw.” Nyx shrugged.
“How many times did this happen?” Luna got up, walking around to sooth her queasiness.
“Numerous, actually. Each time Celestia became less complacent and more ready to fight us as a villain, rather than turning her gaze to the problems that we were literally solving before her eyes. Well, you see how this has turned out.” Nyx stretched out, before pulling the reel off. “You know current events with this one, so perhaps find another,” Nyx began, until the tweeting of birds could be heard. “At least, for next time. We have a few more days before the big fight, but hopefully you can be enlightened to our side by that point.”
Luna sighed, pulling out a pink reel with a teal heart imprinted on it. “Very well, although I’d like to know before I’m pushed out; Why do you have a reel with Cadence’s cutie mark?”
“You mean Cadenza’s? She was our only lover in this world. Why do you ask?”
“You know she’s married now, right?”
“She’s WHAT?!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I shot straight up out of bed at the sound of Nyx yelling in my head, groaning as I rubbed my eyes from the sudden shot of adrenaline. “Good god Nyx, why are you so loud this morning?”
“Cadenza’s alive, she’s married, and Luna’s gonna be in your brain next few nights, Let's go fucking stab Celestia for hiding this from us!” Nyx was practically bouncing in the mirror, an unusually wide and infectious smile spread across her cheeks.
“Alright, are we eating in Canterlot then? Should we meet up with Luna?” I yawned, stretching and popping my stiff joints.
“Yes, and yes. Let’s fucking go!” Nyx excitedly ripped control from me as she cast the teleport, launching us back into our enemy’s turf once more.
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I'm very sorry to hear about what happened. I might not have known Ilua personally, but I can say that their work inspired many other writers like myself. We're here for you and hope that everything's alright.
I Haven't finished reading the story to this point yet, and I'll need to re-read it, however: Sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve, don't think that people who like this story cannot wait. Any assholes who demand or even ask for chapters right now since you're still grieving / mourning are jerks.
I'm sad to hear of your loss. I couldn't even tell where her writing stopped when you're started. I was going put in the notes here "it lives!" But I realize that's in bad taste now. Take all the time you need it's hard to lose someone in your life especially someone close to you like that, stay strong and keep doing what you enjoy and keep up the good work.
I am sad to hear this news and I am sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to grieve.
and may illua rest in peace.
we will miss you
May Illua rest in a better place, whichever place her belief has. Continue her stories at your own pace whenever you're ready to do so.
Such a shame someone so talented was taken before her time. Take all the time you need to sort things out. I sincerely hope things get better for you. I hate that my own words feel hollow when typing this but I wish you the best.
Wait,let me summary it If I get what this Celestia is.
This Celestia is an idiot ,incopenent,has dictatorial tendencies, is easy to manipulate by nobility, in one big package?
.....
Yeah, the world will thank them for her removal.
At this point just kill Celestia no matter the way
As long as it is effective and precise.
My condolences, I wasn't aware of Illua's passing, I will wait for your time with patience.
Please take the time you need. I'm so sorry for your loss and send my condolences.
11088322 I can respect someone sticking to their guns. What I can't respect is someone bringing up a topic that caused a headache time and time and time again for a woman whom does not deserve that headache even whilst in the grave. Please watch your words next time.
I don't want to lose more respect for someone I hold in high regard.
Im so sorry to hear of your sisters death. Illua was a fantastic Author.
Just remember that because of people like me, who archive these stories, Illua's stories will live on for many, many years in private collections all over the world.
She will be missed
The Monk
“Because we killed all of the monsters we ever ran into, save for ourselves and Death. What better way to respect death than to give it the form of the only monster we could never kill?" - WhatMustIDo
There are two quotes of Illua's in on my quotes list. It's difficult to get on the list because the line has to really stick out as I read the story. She is extremely rare to have gotten on the list twice. In memory of her, I will try to use one of her quotes a little more often this week.
Her two quotes:
“You’re right. Violence is never the answer.” “Violence is the question.” “And the Answer is YES.” -Illua
"Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey." -Illua
11088490
And what did I do?
I just commented on Celestia ,because I know what this version/type of her in fanfictions most of the time does and mess she creates.
All I wrote what to do about Celestia and it wasn't even specifically directed at the author.
I didn't even mention the author.
When you try to act like an internet white knight/comment police, do that when someone actually attacks someone,that's at least a minimum or you will make yourself look ridiculous and over sensitive
fuck.
she was special man.
its not fair
My condolences for your loss.
I really liked the chapter, and can't wait for the next one.
But... Im sorry about your sister, sorry for your loss..