• Published 23rd Mar 2015
  • 4,595 Views, 236 Comments

Book, Blade, and A Whole Lot of Magic - Frustaz



"Revolution lead to imprisonment, but was it worth it, Celestia?" The Magus calls out, accusing her gaoler. A story of a lost human and her time in Equestria.

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Chapter 14 - Attempted Contact

Twilight’s workshop-lab hybrid was far more extensive than I thought it would be. Valves, calipers, compasses both mathematical and geographical littered tables, while wires, helmets, and strange machines of pseudoscience lined the walls. I carefully stepped around the low tables, unwilling to threaten the perfected chaos of the meticulously kept domain. And I thought Jayson was a nerd with all his light strips and soldering tools...

“Now, let’s see who this is for..” Twilight held a flat tool made of some pink crystal in her hand, and slipped it under the waxen seal with a faint humming noise before it released from the ribbon and parchment. A quick unrolling and a scan from the purple pony’s eyes confirmed my suspicions. “Illua, it’s for you, from Princess Celestia.”

Dammit.

Called it.

“Let me read it.” I groaned, taking the letter. “I’m pretty sure she’s setting up a way for us to ‘reconcile our differences’. Honestly, what does she think I’m going to do, murder the populace and assasinate her?”

“A-Are you actually--”

“No, I only fought her previously because she was being a thick-headed ostrich with her head so far up her own ass that she couldn’t see ponies dying as something other than ‘just the natural course of things.’ Obviously she’s learned but I digress... Ahem..”

I lifted up my nose as I peered down at the letter, doing my best imitation of the solar ruler. “Dear Illua, I wish to formally challenge you to a duel in the Canterlot Arena in one week’s time. I implore you to meet myself and our observer at the Castle with the Elements of Harmony, where you will be treated as a free citizen. From, Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia.

“What a fancy way of saying ‘I want release, please hit me.’ You up for being able to legally hit the princess?” Nyx’s excitement was almost infectious. Twilight’s jaw laid slack as she looked at me in a state of shock.

“I mean, I won’t say no? Especially after her ambush on us when we escaped petrification. Kinda a few cheap shots when we’ve been trapped and losing stats, when she's had another three hundred years of gains.” I mused in response, still looking at the letter, albeit more seriously. “Hey, Spike, how long have you been nauseous before you belched this letter out of curiosity?” I flipped the letter over, still trying to see if there was any other marking or inscription that might be hidden.

“It started a day or two ago, but it got bad suddenly just before we left Rarity’s. Why?” Spike tilted his head, scratching his scaled frill. I put my hand to my chin as I thought, frowning slightly. “Is this bad?”

“That means we have five days to make it to the castle, get comfortable, walk the arena, and be ready for the combat encounter, as well as be fully healed and ready to go. Great.” It was my turn to sigh and lean lightly on one of the tables. “Twilight… How soon can we gather the girls?” I rambled, my gaze turning to the still stunned Twilight.

“You’re going to do what to the princess?!” Twilight’s mind had finally caught up to the conversation, leaving her exasperated. “I can gather the girls quickly of course, but why? Why would you two fight of all things? Why does it have to be a fight?! Violence is never the answer!”

Nyx and I looked at each other and snickered. “You’re right. Violence is never the answer.”

“Violence is the question.”

And the Answer is YES.”

Twilight rested her hooves on her eyes and groaned. “Oh my sweet princesses, please save me from this trial to be…”


Having packed my grinding wheel, the crystals from Horus, and a few pieces of my jewlery work to trade for bits, I sat at the station quietly humming as my mind whirled in the dawning light of morning. Celestia and I fighting again is going to be very interesting.

Why do you say that? Is it because we’re rusty? The dulcet tone of my companion, and the sensation of her arms over my shoulders gave me a smidge of comfort.

That, and our stats are lower than when we first fought her. Unless for some reason she didn’t train at all in these centuries past, or even let herself laze about, I’m concerned this will be a one sided duel. Ruminating on the possibilities, I couldn’t shake this thought. Our ability to dodge her was lackluster, even though she telegraphed her attacks quite a bit. She wasn’t even aiming to harm us really.

Well, we’ve been out of the rock for a little over a week now, not considering the time dilation from being summoned, and we’ve gotten two great warm ups to get us back in shape. I think we’ll be fine. The metaphysical squeeze around my shoulders stole a smile from me. Heads up, Ponies inbound.

I looked up to see the Elements approaching, most of them laden with a pair of saddle bags, while a specific white one courted a few extra cases behind her with magic. “Hello again, everyone.”

The mixed greetings made me chuckle. Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all seemed well rested and ready to go, while Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked dead on their hooves. Twilight was the only one who seemed like she hadn’t slept, and was seemingly fine. “So, the train should be arriving any moment now. Do we need to buy tickets now, or is there something already arranged?”

“Ah, Princess Twilight, are you and the girls boarding with us today?” A deep yet cheery voice called out from behind me, coming from a chocolate brown pony with a neatly trimmed white beard.

“Yes, Mr. Rider, we will be, with our new friend Illua here. Do you happen to have any large species chairs available to load on?” Twilight asked the curious conductor of the Ponyville station. I stood and stepped out from between them, looking upwards along the tracks.

“Hey.” Rainbow Dash hovered above me, glancing up at her. “Do you like to play games?”

“What kind of games? I was decent at a lot of them back home.” I shrugged, watching her lower herself down to my eye level.

“Card games.” The competitive look in Rainbow’s eyes made me curious.

“So, are we talking like... Poker? Old Maid? Go Fish?”

“I don’t know if you know about Friendship: The Gathering, but I have a few decks I brought since Pinkie and Applejack like to play too.” Rainbow rummaged in one of her bags and pulled out a simple looking wooden box, with a red flame symbol on the front of it.

“Mind if I see it?”

“Sure.”

I took the box gently and slid it open, only to start maniacally giggling. It was a pony version of Krenko, Mob Boss, as a commander deck from Magic. “Oh my god. You play Magic the Gathering. I wish I had my old decks from home."

“So you might know how to play? I mean, this one’s a Fire Goblins deck, but I have others, including a Lifeless Voideater deck and--” Rainbow started, before being suddenly interrupted by Pinkie’s excited announcement

“I play a Steam Controlled Chaos deck! It features things to make things all mixed up!” She giggled. “Rainbow doesn’t like it when I cast Moon Prison on her big nasty EzraCool.”

“And the last time we played, y’all blew up my breezies with your pyroclasm and gremlin bombs! I’m still frustrated at that. I made this deck into a Marsh deck just to play against that!” Applejack chimed in, earning a few friendly chuckles from Rainbow and Pinkie.

“Got a spare deck for me to borrow?” I asked, before the whistle of the train interrupted our conversation. “Guess it’s time to get on board.” Following the girls to the station, I could only hear muffled laughter from Nyx. What?

You seem surprised that card games exist in this world.

I’m more surprised that something so similar to something of my world even existed.

Perhaps our worlds may have touched at one point.

Honestly, considering how I got her, It probably has.


The train ride up the mountain seemed to blur by with the conversation between the girls and I, and the back and forth rounds of ‘Friendship: The Gathering.’ Rainbow had lent me a deck similar to an old Orzhov deck I used to run, and while I won and lost a few rounds, It was overall a great ride.

However, The arrival at the station was disappointing. Guards, in rank and file, with a determined-looking officer of some rank, all armed with spears, shackles, and shields. Mmh. ‘Free Citizen.’ Right.

“Uh... Illua. Didn’t the letter say you would be--” Twilight started, before I stood and picked up my blade. “Oh no, you’re not gonna fight them in the middle of the city are you?”

“No, I’m not gonna fight them in the middle of the city, Twilight. I will, however, defend myself if they attempt to impede us.” I replied, latching the hilt to the sheath and testing the lock. “Oh, and before you ask, no, I won’t harm them.”

“Darling, is violence really the-”

“No Rarity, violence isn’t the answer, violence is the question.” Twilight sighed out, rubbing her eyes once more. I could only smile as I stepped out of the train car, much to the surprise of the awaiting guard. Scanning the Canterlot station, I saw guards blocking the passengers from exiting the other train cars.

The leading officer stiffened. “Illua I assume?” He tried holding his air of authority, but I peered down on him. He had little shivers attempting to break his bravado. I grinned.

“That would be me. How can I help you as a free citizen of Equestria?” my grin grew. He paled.

“Y-You are to be es-escorted to the castle under penalty of law by the commandment of the Cr-Crown.” His voice quivered as I leaned over him, examining the shiny new helmet.

“Hm. What If I refuse?” I could hear the anxious shifting of the guards and the girls, except for Rainbow, who seemed eager to watch me fight. I leaned over him, peering down darkly as he cowered. “Anyone?” I looked up over the surrounding guards, only to see a few spears lower.

“Okay, make you a deal. Draw blood from me, and I’ll gladly go willingly. If you can’t, you can tell Celestia to wait while I have some time with my friends.” I brought the sheathed blade up to bear. “Ready when you are.”


Celestia added a pair of sugar cubes to her tea, and stirred quietly, as Luna read a scroll. “Sister, the dueling contract looks to be in order, and the vendors have already been contacted about the event in five days times. Are you sure you’re going to be ready for the duel? Have you arranged for some form of wager or agreement with Illua yet?” Luna’s questions broke the silence between the two, garnering a smile on Celestia’s face.

“I was considering exile, with the requisite branding. Make her another country’s problem.” Luna blinked slowly, shaking her head as her older sister took a quiet sip. “The other option was to perhaps petrify her once again, and let the ages once more consume her.”

Luna set her cup down, closed her eyes and sighed. “Sister dearest, the last time we did either of those options, the past repeated itself. Discord escaped and resumed causing chaos, and Tirek returned more powerful than ever and nearly defeated us entirely. Illua, based on the archives, is technically a war hero. Is this really the right answer?”

Celestia poured a pair of new cups for the both of them, doctoring hers once again to her liking. “It is perhaps not the correct answer, but I am at a loss of how to resolve this in a fair and just way otherwise. With that in mind--”

The sudden arrival of a guard through the window smashed the table, tea set, and the shelves on the opposing wall. Celestia simply sighed, her eyes flicking to the guard with a piece of parchment wrapped in the poor colt’s tail. “--I do dearly hope our guest minds her manners until the time of battle.”

Luna’s horn encapsulated the scroll, and brought it before herself, whilst simultaneously righting the poor officer onto his feet. “It’s from Illua.” The groan from Celestia was evident as she undid the damage done by their spontaneous drop-in. “I guess I’ll read it aloud. Ahem:

“Your Royal Wideness, as a free citizen of Equestria, I will be taking some time in the city with the Elements. No harm was done to your guards outside of a few bumps on their heads, and the one presenting you this letter being spell-delivered direct to you.

If you continue to send guards, I will continue to dispatch them, inciting fear into your ponies as if basting a turkey, which I will proceed to consume with great delight much to the horror of your vegetarian populace.

Yes, I will eat the Fear Turkey.

Call off your guards, I’ll see you this evening~<3

Love, Illua”

Luna snickered towards the end of her reading, as Celestia silently gazed into her tea. “Sister? Y-you okay?” The night princess could barely contain her building laughter, while the solar princess looked up, wide-eyed with a pained smile.

“It’s like another, smaller, sassier Discord. Why?” She whimpered out, her gaze going back to her now empty tea cup.

Luna’s laughter could be heard throughout the castle.

Author's Note:

Short chapter, to keep us moving on the up and up.

A new 40 hour work week and exhaustion is slowing me down, but I'm getting better. Thanks for reading!

Edited by Timeless Lord Slayer