• Member Since 25th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen 14 hours ago

Spirit Shift


Back in the Saddle. New Updating Coming right to your face. Not currently Open for Commissions. Feel free to DM me about anything else!

E

Ever since her return, Luna's been hesitant to return to the Dreamscape, believing that ponies don't need her entering their dreams anymore. Finally deciding to take a chance, Luna comes across what appears to be a nightmare. Within lies a boastful mare, completely astounding the audience with her performance. However, things change when the act is over when Luna catches a glimpse of the pony within.

Can Luna reach past this mare's boastful exterior? Can she find the truth behind the act?

Contest entry for the EFNW Pre-Con Writing Contest 2015
Edited by Lightning Sword and Ersmiller
Proofread by The Fan Without a Face

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 47 )

I like this. You have given a much more involved look at Trixie.
I know that you have stated that this is a one shot, however it is marked as incomplete. I for one would like to see it continued. There are so many possibilities for why and how Trixie became what we see now. Will watch and up vote good luck.

Amazing, you did great and I love it:twilightsmile:

This is real good.Like really really good.Good story,good concept,good end.But i think you should add [Sad] tag.Anyway this was a great oneshot.I enjoyed it a lot.

Absolutely beautiful, and well-written too. My compliments to you for a good work.

5768181
5768352
5768516
5768752
I couldn't agree more. With all of you. Trixie is a fantastic character. One who should get WAY more attention.
Little gems, such as this show this plain as day.

Thanks for writing it. :twilightsmile:

Fav'd, liked and Added to 'Interesting One-Shots' and 'Slice of Life'

Unlike most dreamscape stories I've read this one is one of the best I've ever come across. I really can't find much to complain about except that the ending was a bit sad. I like that Luna befriended Trixie but will she remember? Dreams can be weird. Good work on it.

Question: was Luna working her way through Trixie's mind and going through personalities to reach her end or what? Seemed that way.

5771118 I don't see why she wouldnt remember something like that. But yeah Luna was at first held back by the emotional barriors Trixie placed around her heart.

5771137 Oh, that makes more sense. I was completely wrong with what I was thinking. It was still a good read.

5771143 Its fine what you described is how the emotional barriors were represented so you're still sorta right.

5771150 Well we can't always be right, right? Do you have plans for continuing this story in the future by chance? I love a good one-shot as much as the next but i feel too many good ideas go to waste from a lack of expansion.

5771163 Perhaps. I really don't mind continuing but it'd have to be after the contest. :trollestia: Honestly there arent enough good trixie stories on this site.

5771186 You don't think so? If you wouldn't mind, I'd like your opinion on mine when you get the chance. I do Trixie exclusive stories. I love her character so much. really because I feel no one gave her a good chance. She lost everything she owned in Ponyville the first time she was there and Twilight didn't try to help her. She then lost her reputation. Gabby Gums happened and Twilight did nothing. Alicorn Amulet. Twilight didn't seek to help her out more simply nodding in forgiving her. Honestly how is she a princess of friendship with this kind of track record?! I'm writing a story on this now! Thanks for the inspiration!

I'd still like your opinion on my fics if you could. I hope they aren't bad to you. That'd make me sad rainbow.

Love it. I wants MOAR:flutterrage:

While giving ANY character a Frudian excuse is always tricky, I do have to agree about Trixie in one respect: No one THAT confident would EVER feel the need to boast THAT much. The idea that all of Trixie's bluster hides insecurities just feels logical to me.

And yeah, Trixie as Luna's student and friends IMHO makes so much sense, since Luna can give Trixie the self discipline she needs since she's been where Trixie is.

Trixie remains best pony.

Would love to see a continuation of this.

Your story has just became my 300th fave.:pinkiehappy:

5774983 Niiiiiice!
5774841 I would too actually.
5771204 Sorry I haven't got back. I saw them and I love the concepts of each of them. Personally, I share the same views in that Trixie was treated wrongly over what happened.

5775108 Thanks for taking the look and glad someone agrees with me on the whole thing with Trixie being wrongly treated. Good luck in the contest! Let me know how it turns out!

5774983 Thant's a lot of favs. :pinkiegasp:

5775639 Personally I don't think she was really at foult at all. What she did: The job of a showmare, which is to excite hype. Though she may have gone a bit far, going from the crowd that had been gathered it was clearly working.
*Sigh* :ajsleepy: Sometimes I think ponies like Trixie and the Flim Flams get labeled villains just because they went up against the mane6. even if they haven't done anything wrong. FlimFlam even tried to work out a fair and negotiable deal first.

Sorry about the rant it's one of the only real things I'm passionate(or serious) enough to argue for.

5775666 I have before too. As I said before but what gets me is they only seem to go out of their way for family and friends. Maud being the family to Pinkie, Scootaloo being a sister of sorts to rainbow, it really bugs me that Twilight never went after Trixie or opened up to her the second time they met.

Honestly the only way I can feel better is with the comics. Seriously they need to address these issues in the next season I hope. I really do.:twilightangry2:

5775689 I don't know I kind of like the idea that the comics exist in their own canon. Make me feel like I get to watch two different versions of the show. If they bring it up again in the show but in a different way that'd be awesome though.

Unfortunately, this story is too long for the EFNW Pre-Con Contest. The absolute maximum word count is 3150.

5801633 motherducker! Is there still time to shorten it?

5801766
A little time.
Let me or one of the other judges know if you've shortened it.

5801829 There we go. 3093 words as counted by Google Docs. Is that short enough?

5802116
That should be fine.

That only raises suspicion and doubt. Ponies love what you can do, not you're false accomplishments.”

Your.

Nice story. I could certainly see the two having a good dynamic together in the future based on their coming together like this. Have a 100th like to even things out.

5819909 You're also number 666 in the rating... and with that profile pic... :applejackconfused:

5826167
huh, really? Cool.
Coincidently also the number of unique views on your story right now

Are you that desperate to be near The Great and Powerful Trixie’s greatness?”

Missing a quotation mark.

Other than that, great story.

This isn't bad; I liked the take on Trixie's character and on the contest theme, as well as the use of the "Luna is dreamwalking" setting.

The execution, however, threw me off. Bits like

Negative throughts fill my head.

("doubts" might have been a better choice) or

The nightmare will certainly reveal itself eventually. Admittedly [...]

(way too many adverbs) are not pleasant to read. Stylistic flaws like that can probably be helped by better editing.

The tension throughout the story was actually fine as a whole. The middle part was a bit lengthy and I feel like it could've profited from being cut down by a couple hundred words.

It's an amazing story and I really loved it. Good luck on the contest :twilightsmile:

Touching.

I LOVE TRIXIE !!!!! I would love to see how she does as luna's student. I want to see Trixie find the friendship she so desperately needs, to fill the void in her life.

I usually don't care for stories that feature Trixie or make her Luna's student, but this story was a great exception. I hope that you make a sequel to this story.

Also, here's some art that I found that I think fits this story.
img15.deviantart.net/5368/i/2012/363/f/0/dreamwalker_by_fongsaunder-d5p819v.png

So I'm a little confused, when did Trixie clue in that this was Luna in her dream?

6087406 There was a scene explaining that, but in our haste to get this in on time and under the word limit I think I cut it out. Which I now know was a grave mistake on my end.

Are you not entertained?!

:trollestia:

I wish more people were as good as you at using dream mechanics, this was executed perfectly.

If this happened in the show I feel like the fandom would jump for joy.

Login or register to comment