And Then There's This Melon Fudge
Just a few minutes previously...
A butterfly with bright yellow wings fluttered through the jungle and underbrush of Nealend Atoll's largest land strip. At last, after avoiding a spider web and dipping under a series of green vines, the insect perched gracefully on the gnarled brown knot of a fallen log. It remained there, its wings twitching while it waited out a warm tropical breeze.
Seconds later, a soft brown shape snuck up from behind a nearby throng of bushes. An earth pony's face came into focus, his ocean blue eyes fixated on the bright insect. The stallion licked his lips, pulling a golden pair of goggles down from where they hung over his slick brown mane. He adjusted a dial on the goggles, gritting his teeth in anticipation.
“Yes... yes...” He murmured, scarcely breathing. “Light... good... shadow... good...” Then, with an eager smile, he lifted the goggles, gazing—entranced—at the butterfly. Clenching his jaw, the earth pony raised a camera in his hooves, extended the lens, and pointed the thing square at the creature.
At the last second, the butterfly pivoted about, its fuzzy antennae twitching in the direction of the stealthy photographer.
“Mmmmhmmm... that's it...” The stallion hissed. “Give me your pretty side. Thaaaaaaaaat'll do it... I could just kiss you...”
His hoof pivoted about, reaching for the big silver shutter button—
“Whoop! Ho there!” A pony with a shaved mane burst out of the woods, holding a steaming strip of wood. “Thunker Meat! I've got dinner for you, land walker!”
“Guhh—!” The photographer yelped, startled.
With a flash of yellow wings, the butterfly darted off, becoming a pastel mystery beyond the palm trees.
“No! No!” The stallion gnashed his teeth, kicking at the earth. He nearly dropped his camera as he hissed, “Verlaxion's sleet! That's the closest I've gotten to a Papilio alexanor since I got stranded on this forsaken island!”
“Pfft! How can you be forsaken when Verlaxion provides her bounty?!” The native pony smiled, holding out the plank of wood plastered with smoked fish. “Smell it, Thunker Meat! He was spawned and gutted for your stomach! Where's the sleet in that?”
The stallion sighed long and hard. He pulled his goggles off his mane and rubbed his forehead, trying to remain calm. “My good stallion, for the hundredth time, it's not 'Thunker Meat.' It's Theanim Mane. But to you and your fellow natives, you may address me as 'Mr. Mane of the Ninety-Seventh Rohbredden Scientific Order.'”
“Hah!” The Nealender nearly dropped the wooden plate, laughing. “Hah hah hah! But that is far too long! I like Thunker Meat better, Thunker Meat!”
“Also...” Theanim shoved his camera into his bag and shuffled over, frowning. “...while I am greatly appreciative of the wholesome albeit rather... raw food that you have graced me with during my inexplicable stay here, it is truly not necessary to skin and smoke fish on my account. As I have attempted to tell your elders on several occasions, I am a vegetarian, much like the rest of the noble researchers of the Ninety-Seventh Order. I would much rather chronicle living creatures into taxonomy rather than devour them.”
“Ehhhhh...” The other pony yawned, his necklace of seashells rattling. “You talk too much, Thunker! You should be using that handsome muzzle of yours for less chatting and more chewing!” He tossed the plate into the frazzled earth pony's forelimbs. “Verlaxion needs your healthy for all of the sciencing! Hah?! Hah hah!!”
“Honestly, I very much doubt even Verlaxion—in all her infinite wisdom—desired my fateful arrival here in the first place.” Theanim tried not to retch as he placed the strip of meat down onto a nearby tree stump. “But, while I'm here, I might as well make the best of it, as it falls within her spirit of progress and—”
“But why butterflies?” The Nealender asked, several feet away. Theanim observed the pony in his peripheral vision, examining a square-shaped object in his hooves. “Hmmmf! Wouldn't you rather capture the sights granted us seaside?”
“Huh?” Theanim realized how light his satchel felt. Gasping, he spun with a rattle of his goggles and yanked the camera out of the native's hooves. “Give that back at once! It's hard enough keeping my film unblemished from the constant sunlight without having to worry about my camera shattering in the grasp of an ignoramus?”
“Eh, don't blowhole so much.” The Nealender shrugged. “You're just another picture lord.”
“I am not just another picture lord—grkkk...” Theanim blinked, cross-eyed. “Ahem... the term is 'scientific photographer,' my good stallion—”
“Hah hah! But you are!” The stallion leaned lazily against a palm tree, forelimbs crossed. “'Picture lords,' we call them! They drift through our lagoon from all corners of the sea! A shell-a-dozen souls all foaming to be the third eye of Verlaxion!” He shrugged. “The Queen of All things blesses this world! So surely she must see this world on our own!”
“But not everypony can see what she sees!” Theanim frowned, hugging his camera. “Which is why we in Rohbredden have sought for years to follow her example!” He gestured in the air. “We desire order! Peace! Structure! All of the things Verlaxion herself has granted the Six Tribes since she graced our Continent and our seas several ages ago!” He pointed at the camera. “What I do with this—what the Ninety-Seventh Order does with all of our tools—is simply a means of honoring our Queen in much the same way you and your brethren do with your canoes and harpoons and—”
“Duaaaaah... too many words...” The other stallion squinted past the nearest row of trees and out into the open ocean. “If you picture lords want an image to impress Verlaxion so badly, why not aim your devices at Ultimo?” He grinned wickedly, pointing at the blue waves. “Ultimo should bring many shells to your Order, Thunker!”
“Theanim! And no thank you.” Clearing his throat, the photographer in question pointed out at the same ocean. “That beast you're so fond of hunting out there is the reason I'm stuck on this blasted strip that civilization forgot! I've already documented its existence four dozen times! But no amount of photographs is going to get me and my boat back to Rohbredden proper?”
“Pffft! Why would you want to go back to the land of stone and frost? All the pictures you'd make would come out white, eh, Thunker? Hah!”
“Hey!” Theanim pouted, cheeks red. “Sometimes, ice storms bring out beauty.”
“They also bring out the grays in your mud mane!” The Nealender chuckled, pointing. “All the better to shave it with! Eh? You've been here long enough, land walker! It'll help you swim better like the rest of us! Hah hah!”
“Ennnnghhh...” Theanim moaned, plopping back on his haunches. “...and this is why I should have steered clear of the Western Jets...”
Suddenly, the native's laughter cut off. He jerked in place, his necklace rattling. “Grfff... hrfff?” He sniffed the air, his nostrils flaring wide open. “Salt. Coral and fish.”
“Yes, it's about done steaming, I see.”
“No. Not cooked. So raw it's alive...” The Nealender's muzzle scrunched. “...and that breath. Ultimo!” He spun towards the white shore beyond the trees. Just then, the ground shook and a moist breeze wafted through the palm fronds.
“Oh, wonderful...” Theanim Mane trotted up to stare alongside his companion. “What is the beast up to now? Regurgitating more orca guts—Verlaxion's sleet!”” His eyes bugged out at the sight of an intense wave surging their way.
“Wooohoooo!” The native galloped up to the forest's edge. He hopped up and spread his limbs, planting himself between a split pair of trees as he faced the oncoming twenty-foot swell. “I answer your call, Ultimo! I answer it with a mighty shout and the blood of the Queen of all Seas! Hah hah hah haaaah!” He beat his chest and braced himself for the inevitable deluge. “Give me your best, brother!”
“Mad! All mad, I t-tell you!” Theanim was desperately attempting to scamper his way towards high ground. The shadow of the wave came over him—along with something else. He glanced up, his ears folding as his blue eyes reflected the glint of a trimaran's aluminum hull. “...oh bother.”
SPLOOOSH! The heavy wave crashed its way into the forest. Palm trees swayed from the impact, then bent back. Just as quickly as the seawater had landed from the unnatural deluge, it receded back. Tangled clumps of seawater, flopping fish, and wriggling crabs were pulled back into the settling surf. The only thing that didn't drift back was that which was too heavy—a battered ship with a now-bent mane.
“Unnnghhh...” Nick's soaked body was draped over the right hull—which stuck skyward from the lopsided way in which the Swan Song eventually settled against the wet soil. “I'm never splashing any of the freshmans at the co-ed pool again...”
“Augh!” Sinrar grimaced, struggling to climb his way out of the ship's cabin. “I think... I-I think I broke something!”
“What?!” Nick looked up, gasping. “Oh no!” He scrambled over. “Professor! Tell me where it hurts, Old Stallion!”
“Rrrgh!” With much effort, Sinrar finally yanked out the stub of his broken cane. “...everywhere,” he whimpered.
“Heh...” Nick couldn't help but smirk. “Well, there's one bright side to this.” Whack! The handle ricocheted off his forehead. “Ack! Dammit!”
“Stop grinning like an ass and help me out of this battered mess, larva!”
“Professor...” Nick grumbled, yanking the old pony out of the cabin. “This mess happens to be my boat and it's the one thing that saved us from drowning!”
“We might as well drown! Look where we are! Stranded!”
“We're not stranded,” Nick said. “And even if we are... it's inhabited! I mean... check it!” He pointed at two bodies wriggling in the wet earth. “Natives!”
“Wooohoooo!” The Nealender pumped his forelimbs, his face covered in mud and seaweed. “A fine dousing, Ultimo! Very fine indeed! I thirst for the day we exchange blood in the hot sun, you beautiful bastard of the deep! Hah hah hah!”
Nick winced. “Severely... sun-stroked natives... ahem...”
WOOOOSH! Rainbow Dash flew in with a blue streak. “Omigoshomigoshomigosh!” She gawked at the boat, pulling at her face muscles. “Are you two alright?!” her voice cracked.
“I'm fit as a fiddle!” Sinrar rasped. “Nick's dead, though, after I make him rebuild this damn worthless boat!”
“Hey! I'm not the one who wrecked it! And it's not worthless!”
“You named it after a jilted lover! Of course it's worthless!”
“That's not true at all!”
“Oh yeah?! Why else do you call it 'Swan Song?!' Bah! Imbecile!”
“I'm not an imbecile! You're the imbecile!”
“Oh, quite fresh! Where in the K.M.C.A. did they teach you that? Dipshite 101?!”
The two bickered and spat.
Rainbow blinked at them, hovering in place. Twilight levitated beside her. After a calm breath, the spectral unicorn smiled and said, “They seem quite alright to me, Rainbow Dash.” She winked aside. “You can relax.”
“Yeah...” Rainbow shuddered, turning from the loud argument to gaze at the settling shoreline. “I... guess?” She watched as several of the Nealenders rode to shore, dismounting from their wooden rafts before slapping their hooves and chests together with communal grunts.
Meanwhile, a very frazzled and water-soaked Theanim Mane wriggled out from under a fresh globule of wet sand. He rolled over, winced, and squinted up at the sky.
A blue figure levitated above, her wings flapping while a rainbow-colored mane billowed from her head and flank.
“Hmmmmmm...” Theanim smiled deliriously. “What a beautiful... beautiful butterfly...” And then he was out like a light.
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This is exactly the same scene as Eagle Eye's introduction. History repeats.
Chapter 42. Why was it not a Hitchhiker's reference. Why, IC.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
This. This line right here. This is why I routinely feel the urge to kiss an imploding colon. Such imagery!
Theanim Pooh Bear Mane. Seems legit.
Swannie! Your mane!
This guy's a hoot.
Actually, all of these natives are one kaizo mass of a hoot.
Apparently, the big bad sea beastie's got a name.
*snerk*
Its gonna dieeeeee. . . oh. never mind. that's too bad
RIP cane. But don't worry, he'll find another.
5945625 Twi going to like this one then!
Dashie is sick with chaos. 1 like = 1 prayer!
Oh no! Not the cane! How can he channel Old Hickory without a cane?
...he needs a shillelagh. He'd be a terror with a shillelagh.
Yup. Its a different flavor of Pegasus Sex Crater.
Now its Pony Spear Chunkers.
great, an entire island of ponies with the same idea of social interaction as my old football team
thunker meat
born 7[41]
died 7[41]
may he rip in died
5945646
Cheater.
5945625 That's exactly what I was thinking.
So clearly since the white Yaerfaerda is coming from down there it's in a cave, right? Therefore, cave quota:check, random terrible beast thing quota:check. Or would that be wistful thinking?
I take it all these native guys laugh in the face of danger. And in every other face too.
A new companion? I'm sure Sinrar will appreciate the company of a bit more... ''educated'' mind for a change.
Is this the first vegetarian Rainbow has met on her journey? There can't be too many of them. And so the creature shall hence forth be called "Ultimo"
Okay, looks like I was wrong: the Swan Song is not going to be repaired by the natives.
If the next ten chapters are not about Sinrar's quest to obtain a new cane, I'm leaving.
Calling it now:
--Theanim is going to be a new crew member, as his way off the island.
--Theanim will take photos of the seed, and determine his personal business with Rainbow Dash is to document all traces of The Machine World.
--Theanim's documentation will lead him to convert a small number of his fellow scientists to Rainbow Dash's cause. This will backfire.
--Yheanim's Camera will be able to "see" Twilight Sparkle and the other elemental ghosts.
Sinrar is the new Josho?
.........what
Fare thee well cane, we shall miss you and the humorous harm you brought unto others.
Rainbow is best butterfly
I am beginning to get the feeling that there will be progressively wetter entries to new locations as this arc goes on.
Makes one wonder about the edge of the world almost. What will the do for that; tidal wave around the edge?
New travel companion? I can dig it. Fusspots with a fetish for erudition tend to be entertaining.
He has a camera... is this gonna turn into some Fatal Frame stuff where Twilight has to avoid being photographed? or is it going to be like..what was his name? Todd? Who's going to be on a futile quest to take the perfect photo of Dash?
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
Hey, what do you know, I'm not extremely late like always. Time to comment. I like this new guy. I wonder what he'll do with the colonialists since he seems to be a full on Rhobreddenite. And then there's RD for him to meet of course. Now to go find that steed and get ourselves a pet Rarity Ghost. All hail the glory of Zadubadabu
hmmm... something seems familiar about the beginning of this chapter...
5945625
5945810
I found it kind of funny that the guy's last name is "Mane". If this were any other MLP fanfic, I would think that it was just a common name and insignificant. Here, however, I'm guessing it's also a callback.
Or maybe I'm just reading too deep into things.
5945739
Verlaxion "saved" Rhobbredon from a constant arctic storm of nightmarish length to gain legitimacy as a god of these far lands.
5945674
Sinrar and Theanim are scientists from rival organizations and ideologies.
This can only end in flames...
Where is Swan Song? We have a shipping emergency here!!!
5945727
Sinrar's new cane will be a golden pimp cane ripped straight from the Machine World!
Who needs a wooden cane when you can break some skulls with solidified Harmony!!!
Looks like we got a likely new crew member! At least I hope he is anyway
Looks like we got a likely new crew member! At least I hope he is anyway
5945625
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/171718/188/urohringr/accept-that-time-is-cyclic
This new crew is turning out to be a sausage fest. I'm almost entirely convinced that IC is doing this on purpose solely to deprive Nick of any potential romantic options.
What a cruel god.
5945963 So far we have Dashie and Twi on one side, and Nick and the professor on the other, so that's one and a half mares to two stallions. I don't expect the ratio to get much worse before it gets better.
5945661For some reason I just had this scene in my head.
5945963 Never mind Nick, think about our poor favourite cyan pegasus!
5945850 Can you spare a moment to hear about our lord and savior?
So now we have diet EE? To go with our diet Zaid? And our diet... whatever Sinrar counts as?
Three down, 9 to go.
inb4 diet Roarke
New crewmember? Awww yeah
We're going to need a bigger boat though.
All caught up (again...this is going to become a thing isn't it)! Much like Easthorse, I am digging these islanders. Seems like they could be fun.
5946061 When they get AJ back as a voice in Rainbow's head we will have our diet Roarke. Yes I went there.
Déjà vu. ...What does "Theanim" mean anyway?
Also, TheaNick OTP.
The twist. It's the Nealander who's the new Crewmate.
... A new butterfly pony. And his second name is Mane...
Well, at least the ship didnt end up being somones roof, theyd have more trouble recovering it.
Looks like the butterfly collector had a flutter by.
Next down in Dashs path.
Freediver?
5945625
...That's both good and bad...I don't want another shell, or a Divine almost killing RD.
ULTIMO!
5945636 Well this whole situation could be improved if they knew where their towels were.
So far the islanders seem pretty cool. They also seem pretty devoted to Verlax, I wonder what the religious backlash will be like if Rainbow let's the fact she isn't a god slip.
RIP cane
4/14/2015-5/5/2015
May your legacy live on in the lumps on Nick's head
5946526 Nice to see someone else excited about that reference.
Oh god, I just realized a shipping name for Nick and Sinrar could be Dr.Nick
No, you're the gay one.
Heh, nailed it.
5946792
That pairing is so... Sinickal.
Get it, cynical, cus- nevermind.
5945646
We can reserve comments now? Is this how knighty is making revenue to pay for the site?
The next AMA that skirts does I'm asking if he talks like he writes....it's a very unique dialect.
New members, ho!
Teehee