Just a Couple of Ramblin' Dudes
“So, it begs the question,” Bard spoke, flapping his wings with casual grace as he glided just parallel to Rainbow Dash. The reflection of the three figures made a trio of dots across the reflective ocean waves below. They flew just below the clouds as they made their way swiftly east. “How long have you been at this, exactly?
“This what, exactly?”
“Y'know... this.” The cowboy adjusted his hat while waving broadly towards the sky. “This flyin' east thang. You made it sound like a really long time when ya described it the other day. Reckon three or four continents ain't no sneeze... or a sneeze-and-a-half, even.”
Rainbow shrugged. “It's... kinda hard to say. I mean, I had this period of—like—ten or so months when I was completely down for the count.”
“After that dragon queen done thrashed you, right?”
Rainbow gulped. “Right...”
“Why would you be so down in the dumps about a crazed monster like that ditchin' ya?”
“Huh?”
“Well, correct me if I'm wrong... but from the conversation you and Princess Woona were havin'—”
“Luna.”
“My bad. Ahem... ya made it sound like the Divine of Flames had left you and you sounded all super disappointin' about it, too.”
“You gotta understand, dude.” Rainbow shuddered. “The sort of creeps that I've met in my travels? Well... let's just say that Axan makes for someone who's easier to warm up to in the grand scheme of things.”
“So... we're talkin' ponies... creatures... and whatever that are worse than the one scaley varmint that tore you to shreds and left you to die?”
“She didn't leave me to die. Ironically, if it weren't for Axan, I'd never have made it to Ledomare to continue the next leg of my journey.” She gulped, her ruby eyes taking on an arid complexion. “For what it was w-worth...”
“Yeesh. I'm almost afraid to ask about all the other creeps you've run into.”
“It's all cool,” Rainbow said. “Er... I mean... it's not cool what I've butted heads with, so to speak, but... it's okay to talk about—” She froze in mid-speech, paling. Rainbow glanced over her shoulder. Blinking, the mare looked immediately around her, eyes scanning the blue skies.
Wildcard cocked his head to the side.
“Somethin' the matter?” Bard asked, blinking.
“No. I was just... uhm...”
“Any of yer marefriends 'awake' yet?”
Rainbow sighed, staring forward. “Doesn't matter. We're good.”
“If you'd rather wait for them to rise and shine from their invisible ghost-hotel so that they can provide you moral support—”
“I said I'm good,” Rainbow pronounced with the hint of a snarl.
“Alright... alright...” Bard shrugged his shoulders, staring straight ahead into the windy ocean vistas. “Didn't mean to pry, darlin'.”
“It's not prying,” Rainbow said, sighing. “Just... just know that I've been through a bunch of sticky situations, but what matters is that I... I mean...” She took a deep breath, frowning. “Look, I came out on top, so that's what matters, right? I mean... why else would I be here?”
“Courage. Tenacity. Loyalty.”
Rainbow glanced curiously at Bard, blinking.
He smirked, staring straighta head. “Them's some nifty colors to fly your flag with, Rainbow. Since the day you kicked the keisters of two meaty mercenaries just to save a junkie midnighter you didn't even know... eheh... I figured you for a mare of integrity. It's a mighty admirable quality, if ya dun mind my sayin' so.”
“Mmmmf...” Rainbow glanced down at the glittering waves beneath them. “I guess...”
“I swear, we could use more ponies like you this side of the Blight!”
“Why?” Rainbow smirked up at him. “Cuz, in the end, wouldn't a bunch of Rainbow Dashes keep the sky clear of bit-hogging mercenaries such as yourself?”
“Hey!” Bard pivoted to face the mare in mid-glide. “We ain't no cheapskates! We're in this business for more than the money—” At the sound of a rattling beak, he frowned at his feathered friend. “Dun you even start, mofo!”
Wildcard covered his grinning mug with a metal talon.
“Now y'all listen here!” Bard gritted his teeth. “If we was the heartless thievin' kind that ya take us for, then we wouldn't have struck a deal with you in Rust to begin with! We only took in that bounty for Echo 'cuz he seemed like a worthless waste of leather with no family to cry over him! And... I'm sorry to say this, darlin', but he kinda was!”
“Yeah, well, I kinda sorta hope that hanging so long with Theanim Mane convinced you that he had something worth his weight in salt in this life after all!”
“Darn tootin'! And you know what?” Bard smirked. “That's just what happened!” He faced forward again, flapping his wings to regain aerial momentum. “As a matter of fact, I'm plum grateful that we got our behinds beaten so badly by you.”
“Oh yeah...?”
“Not to say we wouldn't have made the comeback of the century and tanned yer hide somethin' smart the next day...”
“Uh huh...”
Bard cleared his throat. “But the whole crazy kefluffle opened our eyes somethin' proper, ya feel me? We couldn't try cashin' on Echo's bounty now even if we tried.”
“So... let me get this straight...” Rainbow folded her forelimbs in mid-flight. “You're thankful that I came in, kicked butt, and taught you to see the reality behind Echo's situation.”
“Eeyup.”
“But...” Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “If I hadn't shown up, would you still have turned in Echo's bounty? I mean... under the blissful shroud of ignorance?”
Wildcard squirmed in midair.
“Well... that's mighty hard to say...”
“Not from where I'm seeing it,” Rainbow said, shaking her head. “Seems like—before you met me, at least—you two have been perfectly content with landing bounties first and asking questions later.” She rubbed her chin contemplatively. “Kinda makes you wonder about all the other so-called 'cronies' you've dragged into prison before. Did they deserve such a fate any more than Echo, huh?”
“Mmmm...”
“How do you tip-toe the life of an 'honorable thief' around that tune, yodel-mancer?”
“Rainbow, darlin'...” Bard gulped. “Has it ever occurred to you that a certain griffon and I are just now wakin' up to that prospect?”
Rainbow blinked wide. She looked over at the other Desperado.
Wildcard had his head-and-beak bowed with a grave expression.
“Yowsers...” Rainbow Dash fidgeted in midair. “I... uh...” She cleared her throat. “Sorry, dudes. I... I-I really didn't mean to rub it in that bad.”
“Meh...” Bard sighed. “S'all good, darlin'.” He glanced over at her with a lazy smile. “Live n'learn, am I right?”
“Totally...”
“Works for all of us, the best and the worst.” His nostrils flared as he squinted past the sunlight bleeding through the clouds. “You must think it's mighty crazy that Dubya-Cee and I are so willin' to help ya get to the next Seed or whatnot. It's just that... from the sound of things... what yer doin' right now is... well... mighty important.” He gulped. “If not the most important dang thang there ever was ever...”
“You do know that—in the grand scheme of things—you two are being stupidly trusting,” Rainbow muttered. “I mean, no offense—and it's not that I'm trying to mess with your heads or nothing—but how would you even know that I wasn't making things up? According to Sinrar and Theanim, there are lots and lots of coral huffers out there. One would think you'd have heard crazier things rambled by crazier ponies.”
“Yeah, but none of 'em have ever escorted us down into the metal basement of the world,” Bard mused. “Givin' us a frozen serenade by a bunch of ice rooks, no less.”
“Er... eheheh...” Rainbow gulped. “Good point...”
“Why're you so hesitant to accept the fact that maybe some folk truly wanna lend you a hoof?” Bard asked. “I mean, haven't you been at this crazy-ass flight by yourself long enough?”
“Erm... that's just the thing.” Rainbow fidgeted, rubbing one hoof against the other. “I haven't.”
“Oh?”
“Do you briefly remember me and Princess Luna name dropping the 'Noble Jury' a few times last night?”
“Sure, I reckon.”
“Well, let's just say that I've had lots and lots of help in the past,” Rainbow said. “And... I'm totally grateful for it. Super grateful.” She fought a lump down her throat. “Like... forever changed n'stuff...”
“Mmmhmmm...?”
“It's just...” Rainbow shuddered. “I've been super lucky that... th-that things have ended up as wonderfully as they have for so many travel buddies. And yet, I can't deny the fact that I've forever altered the lives of ponies I've met before... and n-not always for the better. I mean, I know there are always risks n'all, but—”
“I get it, darlin'. Yer little ol' self is worried for Dubya-Cee and I.”
“Ehhhh... kinda. Isn't that lame?”
“I find it mighty charmin'.”
“Eugh...” Rainbow rolled her eyes with a smirk. “You would.”
“I wouldn't fret that hard if I was you,” Bard said. “I mean—from the sound of thangs—you seem pretty in charge of stuff. What—with yer friends being back... mostly... and all of this 'Euro-Wringer' business getting squared away, bit by bit. I know Dubya-Cee and I haven't even remotely been in it for the long-haul like you have, but we can totally see the big picture comin' together before yer eyes.”
“You c-can?”
“Eeyup. Can't say we understand a lick of it... eheheh... but we can see how it's a mighty important step for you.” Bard glanced over, winking. “Sometimes it helps to be late to the party.”
“Yeah, but what if there's no getting out of that party?”
“We can feel it out. I'm good at pluckin' strings. Reckon I ain't so bad at dancin' neither. Dubya-Cee, on the other hoof—”
Wildcard snorted, goggles rattling.
“Well... he can pirouette like there's no tomorrow! A regular ballet bird, if ya catch my drift!” Bard chuckled, then smirked. “I'm bein' all metaphoric-like and yet I'm not.” He swung his body to the side in time to dodge a talon-swipe. “Hah! Too fast for ya this time, mofo!”
“Let's be serious for a second, guys,” Rainbow said. “Even with all of the knowledge I've gathered, I don't know a whole ton about what waits for me beyond Rohbredden. And this is... y'know... assuming that Verlax doesn't turn me into a friggin' rainbow popsicle before I even reach the far side of that continent!”
“We have faith in ya, darlin',” Bard said.
“But how can you so easily?”
“Well, you made a good show of the Frost Queen back there in the metal world, right?”
Rainbow bit her lip.
“I mean... you came out of that mess in one piece and opened the floodgates for yer pink friend to frolic out, right?”
“Uhm...” Rainbow Dash shuddered. She briefly closed her eyes, feeling a cold tickle against her eardrums, like a frozen breath. “More or less... y-yeah...”
“Then ain't that a good sign?”
“Lemme just continue with what I was saying a moment ago,” Rainbow muttered, reopening her eyes. “Past Rohbredden, there's the edge of the world.”
“Yuh huh...”
“And... aside from Echo's nasty descriptions of 'Bleak's Plummet,' I just... I just don't know what I have in store for me. I mean, Whitemane once rambled about it—”
“Who?”
“Erm... long story. A super wise alicorn I once met told me a bit about it. But the only reason she ever witnessed the edge of the world is cuz she's—like—half immortal n'stuff! I can't even pretend to guess how a pegasus like me could face the edge, much less cross over it. I mean... eheh... I'm awesome and all, but the edge of the world?”
“You never bothered meditatin' on it before?”
“It's not that...” Rainbow gulped. “I guess I... always figured that I would face it... y'know... alone.”
“Even when you was with this 'Noble Jury?'”
Rainbow nodded. “It... just... always felt too crazy and unrealistic to expect anypony... anypony whatsoever to follow me into the gaping abyss. And now... n-now that it has a chance of happening...”
“But that's just the thang, ain't it?” Bard glanced over, smiling. “You ain't alone. As a matter of fact, you dun have no choice in the matter.”
“Huh?” Rainbow blinked.
“I'm talkin' about yer ghost friends, darlin',” Bard said. “Them curious mares whom death itself couldn't hold. I mean... think about it! They came back to life! That's a miracle in and of itself! And now—one beacon at a time—you've got the full assurance that they're gonna follow you to the ends of the earth and back! Literally! Dun ya think that's a sign?”
“Uhhhh...”
“And just what harm is there in electin' to have two more souls see you on yer way?” He smirked. “Granted, reckon we ain't half as pretty as yer glitterin' mare-friends. Dubya-Cee most certainly isn't as pretty, at least.”
The griffon rolled his goggled eyes.
“Just how far do you plan on following me, dude?” Rainbow squinted. “I mean, it doesn't end at... the end. There's a whole friggin' world on the opposite side of this plane, and I don't even know enough about that! Heck, Luna doesn't even know! She and Celestia were last there thousands and thousands of years ago! I doubt they even remember much...”
“Guess we'll have to take it one step at a time,” Bard said. “I mean... that's how you've managed to make thangs worth all this time. Certainly we can learn to follow suit.”
“Bard... do... nnngh...” Rainbow face-hoofed in mid flight. She swallowed a lump down her throat and spoke more firmly: “Don't you have... a family? Or Wildcard for that matter? I mean, it makes total friggin' sense that I would be making this trip! And—heck—even a bunch of the Noble Jurists had highly legit reasons to skip out of the towns they were born in, seeking new homes to live. But you guys?”
Bard shuddered suddenly. “Ain't nothin' for you to worry about—”
“Screw you with 'me not worrying!'” Rainbow said with a frown. “If you're both so keen on following, then it becomes my concern! It becomes my responsibility! And—as much as I hate to say it—it becomes my friggin' burden!”
“Heh... Princess Woona is right.” Bard smirked slightly, although it was a rather bland thing. “You truly are loyalty personified.”
“Dude, don't change the subject!” Rainbow scowled. “I mean—like—what gives? How can a pair of mercenaries turn into saints overnight?”
“Is it really so hard to wrap yer purdy head around?”
“Is this some crazy pull for bits and I don't even know it?”
“Pffft! Goddess, no!” Bard gawked at her. “And, quite frankly, darlin', I find that rather insultin'!”
“I'd rather you be insulted then dead!” Rainbow grimaced. “Honestly, Bard, wake up and smell the cider! You're risking a lot here! I mean, sure, I committed to this thing a long... long time ago. So long ago that—by the time Twilight and the others started coming back—it was a lost cause trying to fly back the way I came. You see, at this point I have to keep on this journey! 'Austraeoh' destiny nonsense or not, this voyage is me. It's become me, and I've become it!” She gulped. “But you guys? Is it really worth the risk? Don't you have enough at stake here in Rohbredden? I mean, you've told me all about Wildcard and his old wyvern buddies... but what about you?”
Bard flew in silence, eyes straight and steady.
“You seem so... so...” Rainbow sighed, smiling weakly. “So wishy-washy, Bard. I can't imagine you've been a total freeloading bounty hunter all your life! And trust me, I'm... uh... s-something of an expert on bounty hunters. No offense, but... you don't quite have what it takes to snarl your way through all the world's hellholes. I mean... look at you!” She gestured dramatically. “You carry a friggin' guitar on your back! That's the stuff of cabarets, not slave auctions! If you ask me, there's a nice warm home waiting for you. So why not just come out with it?”
No response.
“Well?”
Suddenly, in Rainbow Dash's peripheral, Wildcard began gesturing like mad. She looked over to see him talon-signing in the air for a full thirty-seconds. Once the griffon was done, he stared patiently at his partner in crime.
Blinking, Rainbow Dash looked back at Bard. “What... wh-what did he say?”
Bard sighed.
Rainbow bit her lip.
At last, Bard muttered, “Yer a clever pony, Rainbow Dash, and all the miles under yer wings have given you a keen intellect. But ya dun know everythang. Nopony can.”
“But... but if you just told me, dude—”
“It's like Dubya-Cee just got done sayin',” Bard muttered, his tone suddenly dull and joyless. “Some of us enter the bounty huntin' business cuz we're desperate to stay alive.” He cleared his throat. “It takes real heroes to know when to go into a different business altogether... one that's fittin' to let us die with a smidgen of honor. N'pride.”
Rainbow stared at them, lips pursed. “I... I-I had no idea...”
“And you have no reason to. Just rest assured, we...” Bard cleared his throat, then turned to smile calmly at her. “...we ain't got no homes to go back to, save the ones we can carve out of our hearts with somethin' more precious than gold.”
Rainbow avoided his gaze, choosing to stare straight ahead. “I... I'm sorry, dudes.”
Bard cocked his head aside. “What for?”
“Everything, I-I guess. I dunno...” Rainbow sighed, her eyes thinning. She felt the weight of her pendant growing stronger. “It's not right for me to judge.”
“If anypony could, you'd be the best candidate.”
“Meh.”
“I mean it!” Bard adjusted his hat, gazing ahead as the two skimmed the bottom of a cloud bed. “Of all the souls we done met over these waters, yers is the shiniest... if ya catch my drift.”
Silence.
“Oh, dun be so modest, darlin',” Bard said, chuckling. “Yer the very model of a hero! I mean, you face each problem bravely... and harmoniously! You kick butt, but you dun take it too far. Or else you'd be compromisin' thangs, and a hero dun compromise. That's somethin' Dubya-Cee and I have always admired... but just haven't met a pony who... y'know... lived it. Hell, I'd say that if there was any pony in this universe that deserved to be a destined 'Australioh,' it'd be you.” He turned to smile at her. “Ya feel me?” He blinked.
Rainbow was gone.
“Uhhh... Rainbow?”
“... ... ...!” Wildcard looked every which way. He glanced down, and his beak parted. A blue figure reflected off his goggles, growing more and more distant a speck against the grand, rippling ocean.
“Holy—!” Bard yelped, flapping his wings as he braked in midair.
Over a hundred feet below, Rainbow Dash plunged. Her wings rippled limply at her sides. She tried opening her eyes, only for the tears to gloss over a yellow-on-red glow.
“Snrkkkt... g-guys... guys, I can't... can't...”
Rainbow whimpered, toppling over as she saw the concrete-crushing surface of the ocean sailing towards her. The dizziness took over the mare's mind, and she spun a million times in the next wheezing breath.
“... ... ...please help... Axan...” She hissed. “Twilight... I'm... so...”
Everything went black before she could finish that thought.
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Dammit, not again!
Hanging on the edge of tommorow
dammit ya tease!
Also: gotta wonder, what the hell happened with Bard?
Welp! Wonder how well this will go over. Either way, you're a darn tease!
Rainbow is worried about her friends, even the ones she only recently met and made. I don't like how she tried to pry into it, but I can see why she did so.
6442196 that would make a good chapter title.
The Ghost Squad sure are getting their beauty sleep, aren't they?
Spookle and friends still don't know about Roarke? do they RD?
They need to get a pegasus life jacket for her soon. Maybe a jacket of clouds.
6442196 From the works of yesterda~y~!
-----------------------------------------
Dashie's a good party leader.
Uh oh.. the dizzy spells are coming back...so soon after another beacon too, is she overloading herself somehow with how quickly she's getting to them now?
Sidenote: as of writing this.. I am 7 chapters away from cracking 500 on Appledashery. I'm enjoying the insanity!
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
Huh. Looks like Bard and WC are angling to be more longterm traveling companions than anyone else. Kinda figured they would end up doing that.
Of course, always the chance they get mauled by some monks at the next stop.
Crud...bad time for a dizzy spell.
I love the fact that whenever this story gets updated it somehow ends up on the featured box. Saves me a few clicks.
I seem to have this terrible habit of reading in 3-6 chapter bursts that without fail end in cliffhangers, and I'm not even sure if I would rather have it any other way
Gah, Rainbow, just accept that these guys are with you and be happy for the company. It's a little late for them to change their minds anyway.
Though Bard and WC believed changed their tunes a bit quickly, though I suppose hearing Rainbow talk to Luna would help that along quite a bit.
6442368
Indeed, especially since WC and Bard are no where near a quick as they probably need to be to catch her.
This is why Verlax is wrong. Chaos-Form might get her through a scrape or two, but it's never a victory. That whole exchange still rubs me the wrong way. Like a much more manipulative Palpatine in RotJ.
And god-dang-it, I'm getting tense. Shit's going to go down, and fast.
Ah yes. Nothing like the classic, Accuse your friends of things, only for it to bite you in the ass trick. That's the third time I've fallen for it this week.
Empirical deduction: she's allergic to compliments.
Wut.
6442613 Nah, WC has the weight to catch her in a dive.
6442256 Yes, soon the madness will consume you. Excellent.
6442759 If the dang feels don't first. Guh.
Tell me, how well do you remember chapters 556 and 557?
Skirts is evil, he knows how to make a chapter both immensely jubilant and at the same time crushing.
This is what airships are good for. Sucks that no one seems to have nailed that tech yet.
Oh jeez, what a bad time for an attack and since Bard is going to bring it up, mayhaps this is time for Rainbow to explain the dizzy spells to her friends?
Go home, Dashie. You're drunk.
My theory on Bard and Wildcard is that they were driven away from home because they're lovers. I mean look at those to. Such a cute couple.
Oh boy this again! With how long this is going to be this better be the only one of these dizzy spells or its going to be very hard to complete this leg of the journey.
6442749 No syndicate, no bounty...
Cruising on VFR just under the cloud deck gives them best conditions, cooler and denser air gives less stressful flight, except for when arguing and plummeting out of the air.
Fortunately, wildcard is closer to the plummet as a pullet, so as long as he pullets out the stops and power dives, he hopefully can catch Dash, then stuff her up through the clouds to rest up on top, then either sit on the top and paddle, or get out back and push. While Bard plays away O Sole Mio, or quite possibly, for the backstory, Hurt.
Hm, another chaos dizzy spell... somehow I'm starting to think Dash will need to free Discord at the last seed, and will need his help to travel the dark side... sure beats dying slowly every damn twenty chapters or so
Convenient dizzy spell is convenient.
RD's skepticism is kind of arbitrary, considering she's seen mercenaries, Enforcers, thieves, traitors and just about every other kind of jackass have a heel-face turn at some point.
Let's be fair here Rainbow, you're comparing these two to Roarke. It's kinda hard to measure up when comparing something to the very pinnacle of badassery.
6442315 I don't know... They're two loners with nothing left to lose and are starting to feel guilty about their pasts as mercenaries. I'm getting the sinking feeling the desperadoes are being set up for a heroic sacrifice. I hope you're right though.
Insert Tom Petty.
And here I thought we wouldn't be dealing with these spells for a while longer. I guess not.
6444331 maybe they're not as closely linked to the ameliorating effects of the flame as we thought?
All this wonderful heartfelt talk about maybe possibly having Bard and WC come with her (although I fearfully suspect that they'll die or find a home or something before it's time to go), and then Rainbow has a dizzy spell.
Welp.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
6443118 That does little to make the statement 'we couldn't try if we tried' any less self-contradicting.
This is not good.
ABORT, ABORT!!
6445157 maybe it's because of all the chaos metal stored in the machine world
Huh, that one seemed more sudden than usual.
I feel like these spells are happening at regular occurrences now. Like, halfway between each beacon.
6446423
Your point of grammar is correct, my response was directed at the sense of the statement.
I apologise for the lateness of the reply.
6444153
She was an Equestrian Mare!
( I know which song you really mean. )
6473342 Nah, I think he meant Into the Great Wide Ocean.
Everyone has secrets...
Jeez wasn't the last chaos attack like 4 or 5 days ago. Seems a bit too soon, specially right after getting a ruby flame.
Something isn't right.
At least Bard appreciates me showing up over two years after this epic began.
ya
_________________
6883325
Same here. And I'm catching up ^_^.
No, he had it right.
I resemble that remark.
Are you seriously surprised by a bounty hunter with hidden depths, RD? Because, um... you kind of... got cozy with one not long ago.
Modern pony pegasus .