Don't Mess With The Main Stallion
“The mare had a griffon with her... one wearing black goggles with even blacker lenses,” Cold Stone wheezed, leaning against a railing in the middle of Rust with his legs crossed. “I... I feel as though I've seen him before.” He gulped. “The other day, I was down in the Dust district... gnngh...” He winced, shifting his weight as his groin muscles throbbed in pain. “Like I was saying, I was in the Dust district, trying to find some local distributors of infernal stones... y'know... for our parting gifts to those indebted to the Syndicate.” He swallowed hard. “I could have sworn I saw him enter a saloon.”
Revan stopped pacing just long enough to swivel about and face the unicorn. His glaring eyes were glossy from the starlight hanging over the platform city. “And are you certain you don't just think you remember seeing this griffon before?” He clenched his teeth. “After all... the bastard did kick you in the balls.”
“He wasn't alone, alright?! Gahh!” Cold Stone winced, seethed through his teeth, then continued: “He had... a stallion with him. A pegasus stallion. Long brown mane. Guitar. Stinkin' cowcolt hat!”
Revan exhaled with a shudder.
“Sound familiar...?!”
“They were obviously here on a contract of sorts.” Revan paced again, shuffling past a small hoofful of thugs still loyal to the frazzled leader. They watched as he came about, thinking out loud. “Undoubtedly to claim that scummy midnighter. But... I don't understand. They're both bounty hunters! Punks! What could have gotten them to think they could stage a heist like this to begin with?!”
“Well, they friggin' did it, didn't they?” Cold Stone frowned. Schiiiiiing! His eyes crossed as the tip of a machete came to a stop just beneath his horn.
“Only because you let them get into the vault like the King of all Pussies!” Revan sneered. “You're lucky I don't lop your ears off and cram them someplace musical.”
“Go ahead, ya bum,” Cold Stone spat. “You're dayum lucky I've chosen to stay on! Cuz right now you're poor as balls.”
“Yeah, your balls, maybe,” Revan lowered the blade, leaning in to growl: “You swore an oath to the Northern Hoof, Cold Stone. I thought I was relying on a stallion with thicker skin!”
“It's not my damn fault they made it past the guards to begin with!” Cold Stone stomped his hoof, wincing from the gesture. “Ow. Since when did we hire damn teenagers and street rats anyways?!”
Before Revan could retort, the air filled with a churning motor sound. Every stallion turned to see a dimly-lit boat cruise up. It was a speedster, with several rotating engines. Two stallions moored it up to the platform and one hopped out.
“Boss Revan, sir...”
“Is that the only speedboat you could find?!” Revan exclaimed.
The stallion blinked. “...I'm surprised I even got it. I... uh... I convinced a pony down by the western docks that we still had the money to pay him over the next six months. He's a father of five, and I think I gave him enough of the stinkeye that he felt threatened.”
“Hrmmmf...” Revan nodded, running a hoof through his mane. “Good. You did good.”
“Did I? Boss, I-I don't mean to be rude... b-but just how are we going to make things float now?! The Syndicate's running on empty—”
“So long as everyone assembled here is on my side, then we can still salvage this!” Revan glared around, speaking firmly. “I promise I will go easy on those responsible for the break-in when all is said and done.”
“When all is said and done?!” another stallion exclaimed. “They already made off with our fortune! They'll be halfway to Shoggoth by now!”
Revan turned around. “And... at the very same time, the Mark One will be heading back here to Rust.” He shook his head. “Nopony on board that ship knows what's happened to the Syndicate here yet. I'd say we take advantage of that.”
“In what way?” Cold Stone asked.
Revan trotted slowly down the line. “We take this speed boat and we cast off, heading due south. We stick to the Arrowfish line.”
“What?! But... but if any of the patrol ships catch us—”
“We stick to the Arrowfish line,” Revan hollered. “And we send a visual beacon into the air. If we're lucky, we'll catch the Mark One's return right before dawn, when it will still be dark enough for them to detect our signal from a distance. They'll have no choice but to slow their engines to avoid us.” He spun about, eyeing each thug in attendance. “Once they're within close enough range, I reveal myself to them, announce that the Mark Two is carrying an intruder, and order them to take us on an intercept course to Shoggoth at full speed.”
“Even still, there's no way we'll be able to catch up with the Mark Two,” Cold Stone said.
“That's not critical to this situation,” Revan said, holding up a hoof. “What matters is the sluggish red tape of the Muddredger Merchant Council. By the time the bureaucratic wheels of Shoggoth start turning, we will have arrived on the thieves' fetlocks. I will have made contact with the Boss of the Southern Hoof.” He held his limbs out. “And they'll help us track down these morons, gut them alive and restore our fortune so that we can bring it back to Rust.”
“And what of the Siren Princess? Whatshername... Caramel-or-rather.”
“Her fins are as tied with the Southern Hoof as anyone's,” Revan said. “Look, it's all rather simple. For ponies crafty enough to have gotten into my vault, they're real idiots.”
“Pffft... how do you figure?” scoffed one thug.
Revan spun to glare in his face. “Because they're headed straight for an underwater city! It's a mother buckin' dead end! Now who's the dumbass?!”
“Uhhh... maybe you for leading us into thinking you were worth something, ya pissant!” the thug spat.
Other guards muttered in anger.
Revan looked at them, then back at the thug. Nostrils flaring, he turned around and lifted his tail. “Kick me...”
The thug blinked. “...excuse me?”
“You're only ever gonna get this damn request one damn time so get it the hell over with!” Revan hollered. “Now kick me in the damn balls! That's an order!”
The thugs all exchanged glances. Eventually, the one Revan was mooning shrugged, reared one hoof up, and slammed it hard between the boss' legs. WHUMP!
Revan's eyes clenched shut. “Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-tt-tt-tt-tt—” He hissed through clenched teeth. When his eyes reopened, they were bloodshot, pulsating with a violent growl rising out the back of his throat. “Rrrgghhh—” Channeling his pain, he spun around and slammed two hooves viciously across the thug's skull. “—RAAAAAAAAUGH!”
WH-WHACK! The guard fell back, denting a metal railing and ragdolling to the platform.
The other guards gasped, trembling.
Revan stumbled once... twice... shook his knees, then stood up... panting and seething. At last, he trotted in a full gait over to Cold Stone—then lifted the gasping unicorn up by the neck. “I... am... snkkkt... more than your Boss!” He spat, veins in his neck popping. “I am as REAL as it GETS!” He tossed Cold Stone over the platform's edge.
“Yaaaaaaa—“ the unicorn fell onto the deck of the speedboat. “OOOF!”
Revan bent over briefly, took a deep breath, then stood up tall and proud. “Now who wants to skin some bit-biting jackasses?!”
The rest of the standing guards cheered and shouted. “Yeahhhhh!”
“Boss Revan!”
“Boss Revan!”
“Boss Revan!”
“Then follow me and I shall make you legends among the Syndicate!” He hopped in, followed by the other stallions. The ship's motors primed to life, and the vessel took off before the bruised thug left on board the platform could crawl off and join them.
With a deathly roar, the vessel sped its way south, exiting the gates and making a bee-line for Shoggoth.
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He's going to get kicked again a few times I imagine. I wonder how long it will be until Rainbow's forced to explain why everything blows up around her as well.
Well...things are definitely going to be interesting the next few chapters...I give it 20 tops before craziness ensues.
Also, Revan + crotchkick = "Hulk Mode", apparently.
Revan... Is one scary boss.
Really hoping this doesn't turn out to be Shell 2.0
...He really is going to be Shell 2.0, isn't he? Thunderturds.
....well... like Wildcard is Roarke v 0.5, Revan appears to be Shell v 0.5.
This should be interesting.
Sidenote: update on my progress through BP, I am currently 3/4 through chapter 9, I should be at 10 within another 20 minutes.
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
That's certainly one form of motivation.
Reminded me of Buzzcut from Beavis and Butthead.
Reven, you've nothing on Shell. That mother fucker may have been a cold-hearted dick, but he still had a touching background and some reasons for his insanity. You're just a thug who wants bits, ergo I don't care for you at all. You just need to die and let us move on in the story.
I think that's the first motivational ball kicking speech I've ever seen in fiction. Congratulations on a literary first, to my knowledge. Also, since this villain is named Revan I'm hoping he comes across this world's equivalent to a lightsaber at some point; even if it's just, like, a really awesome blowtorch he tries to use like a sword.
Well damn. I suspected the story wasn't done with Revan, but I hadn't counted on him having goons still.
Called the Mark Two the Mark Four a chapter or two ago, and now you called the Mark One the Mark Two once. Getting sloppy IC.
I would snicker if their little speedboat got run over by the Mark One on accident.
6261959 Almost sounds like Thunderhorn (Thunderhoof?) the minotaur from Austraeoh
6261988 Hey, you're right. Wildcard's even had a fake death moment before getting prismatic mouth-to-mouth.
I don't even have anyone to yell at for not shooting Revan. Oh well.
Would be a shame if someone outside Revan's ring witnessed the ball-kicking. Where's the camera when we need one?
When things eventually go south, it will be Revan's ass. Or balls. And instead of just one guy doing the kicking, it'll be a conga line.
Revan's men seem to be pretty doubtful of him, he might have to give a couple more motivational performances when they arrive at shoggoth...
I think you're losing track of your Marks.
I don't like Revan, but I have to admit that a stunt like that takes balls.
Revan's really revving it up. Shoggoth's going to be a wild ride with two gangs chasing after a Rainbow.
Looking forward to it when I return from Galacon.
I'm anticipating that Revan will show up at the Midnight Armory to gank Rainbow.
I'm riding on the Mark Two, eatin shrimps and shit.
Them goons was splashing, getting griffon feathers all wet,
But this ain't Nealand, this
I'm on a boat motherbuckers don't you ever forget!
I'm all for the story getting another recurring antagonist, I'm just hoping it's not Revan. I've seen a lot of comparisons between him and Shell but at least Shell was a fairly deep character until he went off the deep end. If Rainbow is the embodiment of loyalty then Shell represented loyalty to the wrong ideals, or blind loyalty.
Revan just seems like a jackass with a God complex.
I knew he would be back. Hes lucky hes got any crew at all at this point though. I also have a feeling that crew wont last very long even with that little show at the end.
Nothing more inspiring than your broke-ass boss giving you orders a few octaves higher than normal.
Mark 1, More like Steel Wing 2!
6262504
Wouldn't this or Belgerum's version be more appropriate?
Revan is an ass. I hope a big fish eats his, jewels.
Woohoo Shell 2.0 inc
6262597
I highly doubt he makes it that far. We're all anticipating that he's the next Shell, however, he doesn't have made the resources that Shell does.
JESUS.
Revan's a fuckin crazy person.
With RD and pals looking to meet Princess Camellia, I thought we were going to play chase the lady but now it looks like it's going to be a shell game...
Lord I hope Shoggoth turns out to be a pony Vegas.
If Revan is meant to be New ShellTM, then maybe this Cold Stone will turn out to be Josho 2.0? He fits the pattern: enforcer type character, beat up by party, insane and violent boss, and I would place money on him secretly hating his job.
The only time when getting kicked in the balls has worked out for the one on the recoeving end...
Ummmmmmmmm... Wat.
Did- did Revan just get a power up from being kicked in the nuts? What?
Roshambo on Equus seems to give a powerup to ponies!
6262002 I second that motion. My character needs to wield one of those.
Somehow, if Boss Revan gets a power up that way, Dash would be more than accomodating to make him choke on them.
Lordy y'all, this Revan character it's getting me all hot and flustered. What a stallion!
Meh. Revan's just not good enough to be Shell 2.0.
He'll be out before the book's end.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
He is. Rainbow has gone against soldiers, mercenaries, cyborgs, a changeling queen and dragon matriarchs and come out on top. If that weren't enough he has no clue about the machine layer of the world, a layer that Rainbow can use to great effect, even if she doesn't have complete control. A layer that engulfs the entire world. There is literally no better place for them to run.
Welp . . . here we go again. I'm having flashbacks . . .
if the is a single Shell pun in the chapter titles we all know Revan's plot purpose
And at this point it's all just balls to the walls!
Yeah, yeah, alright, I'll go shoot myself already, damn.
Revan sure knows how to really channel that anger into action.
everyone is comparing him to shell but what about the goblin king? (not david bowie)
I thought the stallion that had been kicked was named Cold Snap?
Still, this is going to be a wrench in the works.
Random Thug used GROIN KICK!
But it failed!
6264432
Hey. You're a unicorn in this fic right?
It'd be awesome if you used your horn as one.
Well shit...
Wasn't there a Cold Stone back in Windthrow as well? Probably no relation.
Edit: I'm probably just mixing up Stone Hoof and Cold Canter.
Also, this Revan character wouldn't happen to have an estranged daughter hiding out anywhere?