A Fruity, Tooty and Mcbooty Epilogue
One Month Later
Hmm... I sat there thinking, staring at the object with the utmost concentration my face could muster. Beads of sweat ran down my face, my hands were clenched, and I could feel my heart pounding away at my chest like a jackhammer. I have been like this for an hour straight, my eyes locked on this offending object for the longest time. It had betrayed my trust, betrayed the very sanctity of our unspoken agreement. I was sitting here devising a plan on how to destroy it, on how to make it pay for what it has done.
...
"Damn you... how dare you do such a thing." I growled at the object...
It merely stared back with its clean red shiny surface.
Oohohoh, you're good.
"Uhh... Lee?" I heard Rainbow ask me from behind me.
"Yessum?" I asked, still staring.
"Why are you staring at an apple like its the worst thing in the world?"
I turned back to her, grabbing said apple and saying. "This is no mere Apple!" I voiced, annoyance in my tone as I glared at the fruit. "This is Teh Apple of Doom!" I cried, falling to my knees and shoving the apple in her face.
I waited a few seconds... a few more as she looked at it, then at me, giving me a raised eyebrow before she opened her mouth to speak... or so I thought, she opened her mouth, and chomped on the apple, devouring it in one bite.
...
...
"... FATALITY!" I yelled, throwing my hands into the air, like I just don't care.
Rainbow sighed, before she muttered, "Sometimes I wonder what I see in you." I thought she was serious, but I saw the smile on her face.
I leaned forward, "You know what you see in me?" I asked.
Rainbow leaned towards me, closing the distance. "What?"
I closed the distance, quickly moving up to her ear and whispering. "My amazing human awesomeness~" Suddenly I found myself being pushed down onto the floor, Rainbow climbing on top of my chest and leaning down to stare at me straight in the eye. "I NEED AN ADULT!" I cried, holding up my arms as she smacked me a few times. "Ouchies!"
"Oh shut it," She whispered, shutting me up with a kiss. I sat up a bit and pulled her in closer, deepening the kiss. I still can't get her taste, kinda spicy and just plain awesome. Our tongues wrestled each other for a bit before she gave in with a moan, sadly I had to pull away and she gave a sigh. "Nice."
"I know right?" I smirked, leaning back against the couch of my home and pulling Rainbow down with me. She laid down on my chest, nuzzling me under the chin as I stroked her mane. A month had passed since that day Rainbow and I had gotten together, and I still couldn't believe it. Here I was, in Equestria, not only am I best friends with my favorite ponies, but I'm dating one of Elements to boot. And we're in love, what's not to... uh... love?
Oh shut it, you know what I mean.
We sat there in each other's embrace for a long while, just the two of us in the dimly lit house of mine. I looked around at it, noticing a distinct lack of objects, I really need to get some stuff for this place someday. I mused, wondering what I could get to spruce it up. Maybe a painting? Nah, chess board? nope... pool?
...
Yiiiiisssssssssss.
"Hey Lee..."
"Yeah Rainbow?"
"What do you see me as?" She asked, making me raise an eyebrow.
"Uhh, what do you mean?" I sat up straighter, still holding onto her.
"I mean... what am I to you?" She looked up at me.
I tilted my head, Why would she ask me that? I answered her question by pulling her close to me, holding her tight against my chest as I kissed the top of her head. "Rainbow, you're one of the most awesome ponies I've met, yeah you say you are a lot, but I really believe you are." I told her, stroking her back as she nuzzled my chest. "I know that I've told you how I know this world a lot... from my world's depiction of it, but I was really scared, I know I never showed it, but I'm really good to hiding shit like that." I kissed her again, this time near the base of her ear making her coo. "I probably would have been lost if you didn't help me out when I needed it, ever since that day you've been nothing but loyal and an amazing friend to me." I smiled, adding. "But you're not my friend anymore."
She looked up, shock across her features. "I... I'm no-"
I put a digit to her lips. "You're not my friend," I moved my finger, quickly kissing her once again, one that I know told her what she meant to me. "You're my girlfriend, Rainbow. Which makes you twice as awesome, and second to none."
Dashie smiled and hugged me, returning the kiss with as much passion and love as I gave her. We held that embrace for a moment, just enjoying each other's taste. But it had to end when a scroll popped into existence on top of Dash's nose, ruining the moment we were having.
Foul parchment beast. I thought with distaste as Dash plucked it off and unrolled it.
"Its from Princess Celestia," She told me, making me raise an eyebrow again. "Its about Firespin." She said, handing it to me.
I pfft'd for a straight minute, much to Dashs disgust as most of my spit hit her in the face and the pleading of my lungs to cease this inane action. "That asshole?" I took the letter Dash hoofed to me, she leaned on my shoulder and reread it along with me.
Dear Lee, my faithful human friend.
It has come to my attention that one month prior to your and miss Rainbow Dash's relationship, - I send my congratulations to you Lee for coming out of your shell and actually getting out more - you encountered a Wonderbolt trainee named Firespin who purposefully injured both you and Rainbow in a fight, one of which you won.
Luna sends you congratulations on that by the way.
"Ha!" I laughed, continuing my read through.
I have also gotten a letter stating Firespin has not only stolen Wonderbolt's property, but also attempted to solicit certain 'activities' from a waitress at the Green Dragon. As such, I have seen to it myself to have Firespin imprisoned for the following.
- Injuring an Element of Harmony.
- Harming an Extraterrestrial under the protection of the crown.
- Intent to cause harm to a public worker.
- Property damage.
- and Theft.
As such, he has gotten a fine of one million bits
"Holy ass." I muttered, rereading that paragraph again.
As such, he has gotten a fine of one million bits and up to three years in prison, no bail has been set. So you and Rainbow may rest easy now that somepony such as Firespin has been put away. When he does get released, there is also a restraining order on him, that if he violates it, he will be subject to another fine of ten thousand bits, and possible jail time.
I wish I had been able to talk to you sooner Lee, but things have gotten a bit hectic here as of late. What with Twilight researching artifacts found from the old castle and the relations with the Griffon Empire, I simply haven't had time to get out much. So I give you my apologies for having to deal with Firespin, and I also hope you and Rainbow are doing well.
Its not every day one of my subjects falls in love with an alien.
With Regards: Princess Celestia.
"Why do I get the feeling she did that laugh of hers when she wrote the second to last line?" I cracked a smile, picturing Celstia laughing at the idea of one of her ponies dating an alien. You silly pony you.
Rainbow just shrugged, sighing softly and closing her eyes. I mimicked her, laying the letter aside and holding onto Rainbow once more. We both just laid there, both of us thinking about whatever. My thoughts had strayed to Firespin, the stallion that hurt Rainbow Dash, both physically and emotionally. Hearing about him made me angry about what he had done to Dash... my Dash. I found myself hugging Rainbow Dash's body more tightly, as if to protect her from the very thought of him.
He was a self centered egotistical moron with more bark than bite, I beat him to a pulp, I probably would have killed him if Spitfire hadn't stopped me. I didn't like the guy, but I wouldn't want to kill someone, idiot needs to get his shit under control and actually try being a better guy Then maybe, maybe he might be alright in my book... but until then, he's the asshole that hurt my girlfriend.
I looked down at Rainbow, "Soo-"
*POP*
"Goddamn scrolls!" I yelped as it fell onto my face, I sighed... "oi."
"Who's this one from?" Rainbow wondered.
I blew it off of my face, picking it up and looking at the seal. I spotted a familiar looking mark that I have seen on Spitfire's flank, "It's from Spitfire, its probably for you." I handed it to her and watched with an amused expression as she opened it. She read through it kind of slowly, which made me chuckle inwardly. Fastest pegasus on this planet and she's a slow ass reader. Oh Dashie.
My smile has vanished when I saw Dash's smile fade into a shocked frown, I saw tears brimming at the edges of her eyes. She dropped the letter, her forelegs dropping to her sides before she turned to me and buried her face into my shirt. Sobbing lightly.
"Dash? Hey hey hey Dash, what's wrong?!" I asked, why would she cry? What did Spitfire fucking tell her?! I picked up the letter, a frown on my face as I started reading.
From the desk of: Captain Spitfire
Hey Rainbow Dash, I just wanted to be the first to tell you something, I'm going to need you to clean out your reserve locker at the training camp. You're not going to be needing it anymore, or your reserve suit so I'm going to be expecting it back sometime next week. So don't delay alright? You know how much I don't like it when ponies are late.
Do you want to know why Rainbow? Why I'm doing this?
Its because, me and the team... have decided that you are unfit to be a reserve member anymore...
Which is why you're being promoted into our ranks as a full time member! You're no longer a reserve member, but now a full time member as a part of the Wonderbolts.
I'm so happy you decided to come back to us after... well, after what happened with Firespin. From a letter I got from the princess herself, he's going to be in jail for a while. So you don't need to worry about anypony stealing your moves Dash, not anymore.
So congratulations Rainbow Dash... you did it.
I couldn't stop the smile that stretched across my face. Spitfire you little shit, had me all worried. I could only look down at Rainbow as she cried, but these weren't the tears of broken mare.
No...
They were the tears of a mare who had finally accomplished her lifelong dream.
I put the scroll down, tilting Rainbow's head up and kissing her deeply, she returned it as tears kept falling from her eyes. Once we pulled away, she smiled. "I did it Lee..."
I nodded, smiling. "You're damn right you did." I held Rainbow Dash close as the day slowly ended, the sun setting as I said. "Good going Dashie." I kissed the top of her head again, holding it there for a few seconds before adding. "I love you, Rainbow."
She chuckled, wrapping her wings and forelegs around me. "I love you too, Stretch."
A smile graced my face as I let the comfort of sleep take me into the void.
What an awesome evening this was.
Fin~
For reals this time.
I epilogued you suckas in the face! 
FEEEEEEEEEELZ
Kkthxbai
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EPILOGUED!
IN YOUR FACE!
AH I got epilogue all over my face
6395153 Indeed he did, indeed he did.
Thanks dude!
6395160
All up in yo face~
Tasty tasty epilogue vitimins
Oh thank god you didn't go down the "I don't want to be in the wonderbolts anymore because I found something more important...love and being in the wonderbolts would take me away from you" route
GAAAH! IT'S IN MY MOUTH! IT TASTES LIKE...........jalapeños?
>>Dustchu
That is exactly a pony like Firespin deserves to have as a punishment, well done! Continue on and make more of this you can even have them get married. But, otherwise this was a great story none the less. I will always read this if there is nothing new to read and because of the ending i will always cry. Keep it up
6395752 Hahahaha XD Trust me, I love cliches as much as the next guy, but I'm going to try avoiding them for the foreseeable future with my stories. Lee loves Rainbow Dash, and he's not going to let her give up on her dream, even if it means quitting so she can be with him more often.
6395772 I just sat here and laughed for a minute straight because of that XD
HAHAHA! Yummers
6395924 Thank you kindly man, and thanks for the favorite!
Well, there is the sequel out, who knows what'll happen in that one
It takes place just after this story, and it'll be one hell of a ride :D
>> Dustchu It is so far. Can't wait for the next Chapter!
6397497 Awesome!
Me either man, me either.
Loving all the attention this story and the sequel is getting
Makes me so happy~
Lovely
6398568 Hehehehe, I'm glad
That's what I was going for.
6399275
Thank you kindly, and thank you for faving.
6398568 Hehehehe, I'm glad
That's what I was going for.
6399275
Thank you kindly, and thank you for faving.
6400040 not a problem friend. Fluttershy is best pony
6400384 Awesome! Yus, yus she is, but so is Dashie~
6400411 Tubuler.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/775/679/794.png
Hue.
Just hue.
6402867 8'D
Ayy I like your comedies bruh, got some good shiggles after reading this. And a nice little "feels-good-man" feel train ride. *insert rarest of Pepes*
6406472 Hehehehe, glad you enjoyed man, legit!
makes me one happy writer.
I can only hope you'll enjoy the sequel that's out :D
We're closing in on 2K views, that is awesome, thank you guys so much for reading this tripe.
We hit 2000 views!
49.media.tumblr.com/aacca51e0e4ca6aaf4f9456fc3891e6e/tumblr_mpogkaSEmu1szxwbko1_400.gif
Happiness~
6816944 yes... yes I did.
So Lee's friend created Napster? Well, he's obviously not a Metallica fan...
6915450 Hehehehe
7138435
Hahahah, loving your avatar!
Thanks for reading, watching and favorites~
7139037
your avatar is cute as well!
7139983
You may thank Google images for not being a butt regarding this avatar
heeheehee~
So cute~
7149424
hahaha
Yep, he's in this story... sorta
Oooooooweeeeeee, this has gotten 100 likes!
I love all you beautiful goobers!
7139983 Agreed.
7399261 Hahaha, glad you think its perfect
And really now? Interesting
sadly he looks nothing like that particular Lee, hehe.
*looks at the amount of likes*
...
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=bOcXB_Kj0BE]
7454464
I approve of this in 115 ways
Hm, since I'm not a super big fan of the whole HiE/pony waifu stuff, I was reading rather out of genre here. I noticed a lot of little plot elements that are the bread and butter of this subgenre that was really heavily woven into the plot - in a way that did come across as campy from someone who isn't super into this. There's nothing bad about the story, though you might want to consider using italics over asterisks (which are essentially editing marks) in the future. I'm just not the target reader for this stuff, but for those that enjoy it I can see them having a lot of fun here.
10591580
This was one of my first stories on here, so naturally, a lotta spelling errors, lmao
Awesome and cute. Protec Dashie at all costs!