• Member Since 22nd Feb, 2014
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Frostbite4


What's the meaning of life? Well its to live it to the the fullest, we only have one life after all.

T
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Spike has been feeling as if a part of himself is missing, he has also been having strange dreams of seven figures and a strange voice that haunts him during the day, has Spike lost his mind or is he part of something that will decide the faight of the world

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 40 )

5863474 give me a few moments to check it over

Could it be that Spike is part of the reclamation of the Mantle?:duck:

5863481 Well the cover photo you have for the fic is the Forerunner symbol for the Mantle of Responsiblity:ajsmug:

5863494 lol ya its just a temporary pic until i find a pic that will fit

As he stared at the village a clocked figure walked over to the blue drake and crossed its arms, staring at the village.

“So who was that drake you met?” The clocked figure asked before the blue drake knelt down, picking up a stick and wrote a word into the ground in front of him.

i1180.photobucket.com/albums/x403/stop-the-fading/PeteTownsendBeating.gif

Of to a good start dude. Seems pretty awesome so far, cant wait to see more.

5863519

He's getting clocked. (I assume you meant 'cloaked'.)

5863528 ya i keep forgetting how to spell that one word, thank you for showing me the mistake, i will fix it right now

Some of the ones I've picked out. You need to give your proofreader a friendly joybuzzer to remind them to take your work seriously.

"When darkness descends on all, the lost will be found"

That needs either a period or an exclamation mark.

The purple drake looked around for a moment as his panting slowed, he noticed that the bed that occupied the room was neatly made and a note lied dormant on the bed with a green gem on top holding the note from being blown away.

The comma should be a period. Begin new sentence with 'He'. And it's 'lay', not 'lied' in this particular instance.

i will be gone for the day, princess Cadence needed me to come to the crystal empire to help her look for some books. While I am gone can you please leave the castle once in awhile and socialize, you've been staying in the castle ever since the Tyrik incident.

Love your faithful student Twilight

Should be "I", "Princess", "Crystal Empire", "a while", and "Tirek".

The basket hit the ground on its side making apple fall out and role onto the ground.

"making apples fall out and roll onto the ground."

“I’m so sorry, I wasn't paying attention Ill help you with these” Spike said quickly

"I'll help you with these," Spike said quickly

5863556 thanks i will fix these in the morning

5863578
If you got this is something like GDocs I can help with proof reading

5863615 i dont use gdocs i either use my ipad,, phone or word on my laptop

5863619 well there is your problem you know how hard is it to spin a top on a lap? Next time do it on a desk its much easier....

Too many mistakes to count. I don't know who your proofreader is, but I would suggest finding a new one.

5864583 the next chapter will be better,, just started getting back into writing again,, but the next chap will be better

Good start so far, but I see a plot hole. How did the cloaked figure get into the castle? Because if I'm reading this right Spike passed out in the castle not in the street.

But still a good start. :pinkiehappy:

5867246 ya i missed that on purpose, but i will say that the figure that spike saw is a different figure then then one that was on the hill with the silent drake

5867246 just wait till the next chapter, im already half finished it

5919169 kind of, but i was more inspired on a song called radioactive, and i already talked to him, and said that im not trying to steal his story, since it has similiar elements

5919175 by imagine dragons? And I wasn't accusing you of stealing ideas this just had elements that reminded me of that story :twilightsmile:

5919197 oh lol okay, and ya that song is still a good song to listen to, it just has the right mix of music and tells a meaning without putting alot of thinking into it

5919197 thank you for your loyalty to the story, readers like you is what keeps me wroting stories like these

5919284 oh no problem mate I love stories like these :twilightsmile:

This is oddly similar to my own story Elements of Terra. Pretty funny coincidence.:twilightsheepish:

5952476 people also say its similair to rise of spike the dragon, but im doing something way different then what that is about, yes i may be using elements of nature, but thats the only elements i could use so it would work for what im trying to write

5952586
That's fine. My story is actually a spinoff of The Rise Of Spike the Dragon. I was just noting the funny coincidence. Good luck with the story man :rainbowdetermined2:.

5952707 thanks, and same goes for your story. Long live spike the dragon

5952802 Um, man, found a typo...
In the description....

decide the faight of the world

I think it's fate of the world...

is this gonna be continued? because i want MOAR!!!!

Comment posted by RandomGuy47 deleted Aug 19th, 2017
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