• Published 14th May 2012
  • 4,744 Views, 123 Comments

The Blaze In My Heart - Neon

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22
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 4,744

Epilogue

Blaze proposed to Rainbow Dash the next day.
Rainbow said yes and they got married in the beautiful sunset.
As they promised each other, they will love each other for better...or for worse.....
They ended up having kids together.
1 boy and 1 girl.
Heat Wave and Spectrum.
And They lived happily ever after.....


The End

Comments ( 64 )

holy crap. 20 bucks says this is generic either Gary Stu or Mary Sue with sad backstory and love.

But seriously man, all 11 chapters? Really?

588549 What do you mean by "All 11 chapters?" This is my first Fanfic, so I'm not positive what's right and what's wrong :c

588565 Its kind of overwhelming is what he means.

588596

And it's usually best to release one chapter at a time, actually, this could have been written as a one-shot...

Also, you spelt Pegasus wrong in the description.
EDIT: I can sorta see why.
You're confused between Pegasus and Pegasi...
Pegasus, Singular.
Pegasi, Plural.

One question. Why is it always Rainbow Dash? Why are all OCs and self inserts always shipped with Rainbow Dash? Can't people think of shipping that doesn't consist of Rainbow Dash? I guess not. I'm not even going to read this because of that.

588631 Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, like I said, it's really quite different. Rainbow Dash just happens to be my favorite character. I really like her (Not sexually) so I made a fic about her. My friend wrote a self-insert about Fluttershy and that inspired me to do one about Rainbow. But please don't dislike it for that one reason, it IS my first fic after all

As I said before, too many wingboner references. Also, it was WAY too short. You could have added in a LOT more detail. I accept that it's your first fanfic. I know that it can be hard to do. However, more length would be appreciated. Also, an editor would be a good idea, to check for spelling/grammar mistakes (I saw a few of them). However, it was a good story, and nice use of pictures.

Why are people always shipping with Rainbow Dash? do something unique...

I'm sorry it...just...ASFSJDNSJBSD VBSDJD FS :flutterrage:

588707 I answered that before.

This better get more likes, I mean this shit is hilarious. Seriously, like this or somepony's gona get their ass kicked!
P.S. nice story

588712 Hah, thanks at least i have SOME support:twilightsmile:

I saw this in the chat. Self inserts don't do so well here. :c

Not sure if this is supposed to be a trollfic or if you were trying to be serious. :rainbowhuh:

588631 I wrote one with Fluttershy. :trollestia: I'm his inspiration, so blame me, if anything. It's his first, and not terribly bad for a first.

Sweet love story. Like saidbefore, you could put more detail in. Still good.

588728
I havn't read the story yet, I will later but I want you to know that since I caught you with ur first story if there is anything I can do to help just ask and I will do my best to help you. If I enjoy I will add a like and if I don't i will not dislike it, it has too many alrdy :twilightoops:. Honestly from the word count I can already say that you should either expand and add detail or make it one whole story.

588812 Only thing i can really ask is once you read it... tell me where I went wrong. what seems to be the magical force to make people dislike it. I know it's rushed but i dont see anything else wrong with it. Thank you for your nice comment. God knows i need more of those :raritycry:

I liked this story.
I liked it because you obviously put effort into it, and that is something I can both appreciate and respect you for. On a cautionary note; you should probably take a look at what's usually frowned upon when it comes to mlp fanfiction. In the end though, write what you want and continue to improve. :pinkiehappy:

588907thank you for your approval.. it means a lot to me :pinkiehappy:

588944 Glad you're enjoying it, we could collab, i'm looking forward to it :twilightsmile:

just reading through a couple of comments and suddenly a wild Flarechaser appears

589002 uhhh kenne, wtf is that?

589013 This is My Little Pony. A world where unicorns and pegasi roam free and talk. And one pegasus can travel at hyper-sonic speeds (Mach 10) Anything is fair play here XD

589012 lol dash, i should probably start reading this, hearing some good things. only bad things i hear are the cliche-ness but i think i can get passed that. Also if you wanna talk text me or whatever.

Well, overall I enjoyed it, hope to see more from you about Blaze and Dash.

589057 Ahh thank you. your positiveness is rubbing off on people.

589066
No problem! :pinkiehappy:

Not a bad story, though your lack of indentation is disturbing

589090 Shut up kenne XD

589097 Also dash, if you ever get the cover to update let me know. And if you need me to add that gray background just let me know because i can always slap that under all the other layers easy. Also if you write another one in the future i can always help. Even if you just need someone for revising or editing...especially if you need someone to help you with indentation.

589108 Like i said kenne, i tried to update the pic, but it wouldnt work. i am so butthurt over it. And yes, i am making another fic that will be 0% shipping because that is no longer accepted in this society and i could always use your help :pinkiehappy:

Good short story. I raise you one like.

589129 Well, if you ever need me to slap something together for a cover or need something for me to draw up ill always be wherever i am. And at least you can save it and use it on your OC whenever. But secondly, its accepted to a degree, i mean look at Trey. He's like in the top what is it? 25 or 50 in most read and his is 100% ship.

588631 Because she is best pony, obviously.
(Kidding, everypony is best pony. RD just happens to be the bestest.)

Really guys....I just don't understand...I don't see what I did wrong. I admit it's cliche, I admit it's rushed...but people ignore my apologies...Like I keep saying, this is my very first fanfic, EXPECT mistakes, but don't dislike for the stupidest reasons. My friend lilinuyasha (Author of Flutterheart)
Inspired me to "write for myself and nopony else" but I can't. Plus i spent a total of 16 days on this (384 hours). The LEAST you guys can do is leave the dislike button alone. I'm not trying to get sympathy, i just want to let everyone know my thoughts. :fluttercry:

My major complaint here would be how fast the story is going. It's hard to get pulled into a story let alone follow one going 90mph. Now yes, it is a theme that is looked down upon but I try not to judge this. You have the right to write what you want after all.

Piece of advice thou, i skimmed the comments and you said the reason it went so fast was you were rushing? Never rush. Never. I sat on my first story for a good week to think it out, type it, re-read it i don't now how many times and such. Writing is a process after all.

Now with that said, don't stop writing. You can only get better after all. Most importantly thou, keep it fun. We're writing fan fiction after all. :twilightsmile:

Edit: Woah woah woah.... 16 days? May i ask, what were you doing those 16 days?

589390 No, no, I didn't rush the story, the story's storyline went by too fast is what I meant.

589407 Ahhh i see. Well from what i noticed you spent a bulk of the time on dialog, which is fine in some cases, however it may help to describe what's going on more. Take here:
Blaze completely zoned out after hearing "Rainbow Dash". After laying eyes on such a beautiful creature, wouldn't you zone out too? Blaze was at a loss for words.

Instead of just saying he zoned out, maybe go into detail about what he's feeling; his heart skipping a beat, the world fading away around her, his eyes drifting from one beautiful trait to the next, maybe a little weakness in the knees. Make us feel like we're in his hooves. These little things add some spice to a story :pinkiesmile:

Also, read around the site a bit and take note on how others write. It can be inspiring and help your own as well.:pinkiehappy:

589304
Honestly I agree, my friend told me that too, and thats what I do. I write to get out my ideas about a great story I thought of, I honestly don't care if people dislike it. I am happy knowing it is out there for people to read.

589443
I agree, you know what your doing buddy :), Blaze you should listen to this person, cause you are very wise. :twilightsmile:

589534 Oh shoot you making me blush. Just trying to help. :twilightblush:

590580 Sorry Heavy, all, my thoughts and ideas about this story are all in here. A sequel would be boring, short, unentertaining, and would epicly fail.BUT....I am making a new story 99% different. NO SHIPPING (So far at least) and will be mainly comedy! :pinkiehappy: And Blaze is still the main character, so you know it's going to be epic.

591708 good to see your doing mainly comedy or at least supposed to in your next one, i laughed quite a few times while reading this.

588728 Got some support from me too bro awesome fanfic :pinkiehappy:

592901 :3 Glad to see your enjoying it :twilightsmile:

I like how the hate stops after 18 dislikes. Yes I've been keeping count. :pinkiecrazy: MUHAHAHAHA I mean what?

597300 Lets hope it stays that way, SSRD. Haha

THIS A STORY THAT WOULD HAVE MADE PYRAMID HEAD CRY:pinkiesad2::fluttercry::applecry::raritycry::scootangel::rainbowkiss::heart:

646903 Can I get a like please? :3

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