Uncharted: Equestria

by Rayvinne

In Memory

"Forget thy troubles, gorge thyself with cake."
-Princess Celestia

Uncharted: Equestria

In Memory

The desert. An endless expanse of dust and grit, highlighted by nothing. Water was nonexistent, and thus, no life was to be found. No life, that is, except an ancient Willies Jeep that was hurtling itself across the dunes, loaded with human and ponies alike. The infamous explorer, Nathan Drake, took a rare moment to reflect upon the odd events that had transpired across the past few days.

---

Nate whistled as he wandered through the massive vault of human items. The assortment of weapons, vehicles, random bits of scrap, and even cans of food were strewn about. Luna’s speaking snapped him out of his amazement.
“We do not know if any items in this chamber are of any use, our most esteemed scientists made most of it out to be junk.” The other ponies nodded in agreement, lost in amazement over the items. Doctor Whooves took advantage of the moment to speak.

“Why one would make a metal cylinder with pictures of food on the outside, I could never understand, but, if the records are right, we came up with several inventions based on items that we have seen here. Perhaps, Mister Drake, you could shed some light on these oddities?” Now all the ponies who had been distracted and Nate looked about the items. Apparently, when Luna said there had not been humans in Equestria for ages, she didn’t include objects. Looking deeper into the piles, Nate found more modern items. Cellular phones, pocket knives, a dead laptop, and a large pile of canned goods. He chuckled and smiled as he grabbed a coca-cola from the top of the stack, then he held it up for others to see.

“This, back on our planet, is called a soft drink, and this particular one is called Coca-Cola. Luna, do you have two cups to spare, preferably with ice? I think you may enjoy this.” Luna eyed the can, unsure of why anypony would drink a metal cylinder, but complied, and summoned two fancy glasses with her magic, making sure they were filled with ice. The dark alicorn’s eyes grew in amazement as he pulled a tab on the top of the cylinder, which then let out a brief hiss. A dark bubbly liquid poured from the can, filling each glass about half way. “Cheers.” Nate held out his glass, and they tapped them together with a clink. Stalwart rushed to Luna’s side as she started giggling uncontrollably.

“Princess?!” Stalwart gave Nate a brief evil look, then brought his attention back to his ruler. “Luna, are you okay?!” Her response was to force his mouth open and pour the liquid down his throat, and soon he was giggling too. By the time Luna recovered, the other ponies were wanting to try some of this magic laughing liquid.
“What is that substance again, Drake, it tickled my throat as it went down!” Luna giggled as she tried to lick the remaining droplets of the Coke from her glass.

“It’s called soda, and it tickled because my race had found a way to infuse gas into the liquid, it tastes great, and makes for fantastic pranks.” Luna’s eyes narrowed mischievously, being a prankster at heart.

“Would there happen to be more of this ‘soda’ left? And how exactly does one prank with this substance?” Nate whispered how exactly one would prank with a can of soda, and she whispered back a plan. Both of them putting on a faux innocent smile, they set about gathering items. Luna summoned a few more glasses, for the other ponies, and Nathan struck it rich as he found a two liter bottle of Sprite, and a normal can of Dr. Pepper. Nate returned to the rest of the group, who all had taken up seats on various pieces of humanity. He poured each of them some of the Sprite after handing the Dr. Pepper to a giddy Luna, who shook it vigorously. Stalwart, who had been skipped with the Sprite asked about this, Nathan replied that he had found another soda that me might enjoy better. Luna levitated the can-under-pressure to Stalwart, who, with instruction from Nate managed to get the tab with his hoof and open the can. The can, which had been shaken beyond belief, sprayed a very impressive cloud of soda into the air, covering a very shocked guard in a layer of wet stickiness. The irate guard stomped off to get cleaned, and everypony, plus human, burst out laughing. Rainbow Dash even chuckled at the sight.

Over the next hour, Nathan collected all the stuff he thought he might need, and loaded into the only working vehicle present, the Jeep. Tools, extra gasoline, an old film camera, and a large stack of non-perishable food items, along with fresh foods from the survivor’s stocks loaded down any extra space in the vehicle. Despite the constant questions about human objects, Nathan had some time to explore the stacks of artifacts before they set off. One of the most fascinating things he found was an old American space probe, with the word Viking III marked on the side. ‘That’s one mystery solved, I suppose.’ He thought to himself. On the way back to the stacks, one more thing caught his eye. A large wooden chest sat under the charred remains of a Toyota Prius. After some amount of effort, he got the chest out of the pile, sending the horrid hybrid’s skeleton crashing to the ground. Nathan’s eyes went wide as he rubbed the dirt off the rusted brass nameplate, which had the word ‘Blackbeard’ etched into it. ‘Make that two mysteries.’ Shaking his head, he went and joined the ponies, who were probably ready to leave by then.

---

They had been on a steady decline the whole trip, and now there were buildings starting to poke up through the dunes, and the forest could be seen in the distance. The jeep slowed as it rolled onto what used to be a street, the sand level to the second story windows of the windblown buildings. The sand dropped sharply as they reached the town’s square, and in the middle sat a large stone monument. Doctor Whooves shouted to Nate to stop, straining to be heard over the rumbling engine of the jeep. The jeep rolled gently to a stop, and Nathan cut the engine. The occupants clambered out and stretched their sore bodies. Willies Jeeps weren’t exactly made for comfort. Nathan, being used to riding in uncomfortable vehicles in awkward positions, made his way directly to the monument, out of curiosity. The stone depicted a large alicorn, much larger than Luna, accompanied by an average sized unicorn. Both were in attack stances, which enraged looks forever etched into their faces. The base of the monument had what appeared to be names etched into it.
Here stands Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, who became trapped in stone by an unknown attacker. This is a monument to everypony killed in the event, as they were known by their friends and family
He rubbed some grit off the stone, and read down the list of names.

Caramel Apple
Berry Punch
Colgate
Aloe
Lotus
Thunderlane
Cherilee
Big Macintosh
Filthy Rich
Granny Smith
Twist
Mrs. Cake
Silver Spoon
Cloud Kicker
Rarity
Sweetie Bell
Apple Bloom
Apple Fritter
Cotton Cloudy
Pipsqueak
Snips
Snails
Pinkie Pie
Vinyl Scratch

The list went on. Ponies who attempted to stop the mare, and those killed by collapsing houses or trying to save others. Below the names was a description of what happened that day. Nathan read over the names. He didn’t know any of them, but they didn’t deserve to die. No pony needed to die like that. He wasn’t one of them, but being killed by a cold, calculated killer wasn’t right on any world. He knew, he’d been pretty close to it happening to him several times.

The group eventually got back together, having mourned their lost friends and family members. The Jeep sputtered, then roared to life, and they cruised into the forest, leaving their friends to rest in peace. Once in the forest, the group had to slow dramatically, less they break their spines from the rough ride. According to the Doctor, is was about time to get some sleep, and by a stroke of luck, they came across an old shack, which Rainbow identified as belonging to a zebra named Zecora. They started unloading a few items to make a meal out of, then a voice shouted out from the bushes.

“Hey, who’re you?!” It shouted, rough, but defiantly female. Rainbow Dash had thought it sounded familiar, and when she turned around, she was tackled by an orange and purple blur. “RAINBOW DASH OMYGOSH YOU’RE ALIVE!”

Rainbow let out a genuine smile as she hugged the newcomer. “Heya Scoots, how’ve ya been?

---

OKAYPLEASEDONTKILLMEILOVEALLTHOSECHARACTERSTHATWEREKILLED!!!!!!!!!!!! But anyways, I’ve gotten an editor, and I’ll have him start working on the chapters ASAP. This one wasn’t edited, as I wanted to get it out, but beyond this chapter or the next, they will be edited by my super perfectionist cousin. (No offense bro)
Please leave your feedback on this chapter! I tried to use the soda bit to balance out the fact that half my favorite characters being labeled as ‘dead’.
(Again, don’t kill me, but just in case, I’m sleeping with a knife under my pillow for the next few weeks)

Comments

[Medium-Chan]

i say

[J8ck78]

That's quite the list there...

[Rayvinne]

657835

I know. </3

[jmlop0]

Wait...............you...killed....pinkie pie....
encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRSozDuJvgQ2I29c_cnUdoWIf0J07vWEMpfziiuwv9UvmlU4gkFlg
Jk,but NO ONE KILLS PINKIE.....ITS LIKE DIVIDING BY FREAKING ZERO TWICE DAMIT.

[Rayvinne]

657920

Don't kill me!

But honestly, it's Pinkie Pie. You'll just have to wait and see what happens!

[jmlop0]

657930I wont kill yeah,but pinkie will!Look there she is now!

[Rayvinne]

657936

OH CELESTIA IT'S GOT ME......garsdfgnjirsngioerthj09e4wthju9340qy$#56349qhjreiagdf

Hi there! I'm Pinkie Pie! That Meany McMeany pants writer is gone now! And it's MY turn to write this story! I'll be back! Eventually.

[jmlop0]

657942Killing pinkie pie is like drinking apple juice after brushing your teeth,YOU JUST DONT DO IT.

[Rayvinne]

657948

I'm doing my best to keep this pony under control, lest she spoil the ending.

But to those readers who hate me now, don't worry, and just keep reading until the end of the story! I PROMISE it will get there!

Hi! Pinkie Pie again! And in the end, Nathan goes and...

*whump*

*Thud*

Bad Pinkie! I said NO spoilers!

Edit: Applejuice after brushing teeth is nasty. Good comparison.

[Y1]

A human in Equestria fic set in an alternate universe post apocalyptic Equestria? Color me intrigued.
It's interesting enough so far but at the moment your characters are pretty lack luster. I'm sure you'll fix that with time but maybe a little more dialogue might be a good idea.
I've never played the Uncharted games so I don't know too much about Nathan Drake but why's he not taking a gun? I seem to remember him having need of them pretty frequently from the trailers and reviews I've seen.
I am very curious to see where you'll go with the plot on this. For now I'll give it a like and if things improve I'll fave it.
Also your paragraphing is pretty poor, but you got an editor so I'm sure that will be fixed in future.

[Rayvinne]

658108

Well, I am still new at writing, and I'm having to force myself to try and stay on schedule, and not stop writing halfway through, like all the others I have. I'll work on the wording some.

As for a gun, well, most likely they have been damaged by time, hooves, and the transportation to an alternate universe. Although many items remained intact, many would have been hard to maintain by anypony, especially if they didn't know what they did.

(Also, to all those comment readers, please keep these posts of obvious storyline flaws coming, that's where half the content is coming from. )

[Y1]

658136
One other thing I've noticed, so far you say there that there are two living elements of harmony one is Rainbow. But so far you've confirmed that Rarity, Pinkie and Twilight have died. That means that both Applejack and Fluttershy are still living.

[xenobrony]

1. I have a feeling the mare is Trixie
2. I called it on the two dead of the main 6 no offense intended

[Elrafa22]

Y-y-y-ou killed R-r-rarity NOT MY LOVE LIFE!!!

[Gen Eric]

...still waiting...

[Rayvinne]

1034087
I know. I'm sorry.

[Gen Eric]

1034531
No worries, everyone here can patiently wait, a story as good as this must take time to write

[Rayvinne]

1041985

Good? Ha! I find your joke funny.

I probably should let everyone know, but my editor, to no fault of his own, lost his ability to go online right after I sent him the chapters, so they could all be revised. Just our luck.

[Winter Storm]

1041985 To clarify, his editor's laptop got stolen. 1042346 Tell you what. I'll be your editor, just so you can get the next damned chapter out.

[Gen Eric]

...I'm thirsty...

[Focusphobia]

Killing the ponies... Not cool.
Still, I'll wait and see how this goes.

And a mystery to spontaneously solve-
Amelia Earhart and Fred Noonan.

[altos123]

hope to see more but less of the pony killing

[Lil Drabant]

Please write more im loving this its awesome, it is sorta sad, but I like that in stories, and yours is perfect

[Dragonslayer Ornstein]

YES! SCOOOOOOOOOTSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Phantom_Eclipse]

Cool story, I like the cross over...too bad it's dead