Luna Wants a Windigo

by Lazauya

Stealth

“Sister, I have an eerie feeling that you’re going to try to capture a windigo today,” Luna said as she ate her mid evening lunch. “What would you call this meal, by the way? I’ve always wondered.”

“I’m sure you’re just imagining things, Luna. And I think you could call it… linner? Dunch?”

“Sister, just tell me what we’re going to do. I already know you have something planned. Interesting suggestions… but I feel those are too… weird sounding. What if I just call it breakfast? It is my first meal of the day.”

“No, I do not have anything planned. And what if you were to call it… night breakfast.”

“I still don’t believe you. It’s been almost a week since you’ve tried anything, and I know that you are not one to give up, Sister. Night breakfast sounds… interesting. I think I can work with this.”

“Hm. Suit yourself. Live in mild paranoia, it’s not my problem.”

Luna squinted. Celestia made no response, and instead continued eating her snack. Luna herself poked her breakfast salad with a fork held in her magic.

They continued eating, the occasional inharmonious sounds of metal hitting porcelain radiating throughout the room.

And as the sun neared its destination beyond the horizon, Celestia used her horn to give it one final push. Luna in turn raised her moon, and the night officially started.

Luna soon after finished her salad and Celestia her pastry; they had been slowly pecking away as to spend more time with each other.

Celestia stood up and wiped her mouth, as did her sister. They stared at one another uncomprehendingly, as if to try and guess what the other was thinking.

Breaking her sister’s gaze, Celestia trotted out of the dining room into the hall behind her. Her sister remained for a moment, examining the back of her sister’s head.

Luna soon departed as well, leaving the room empty for not but a pair of guards opposite from each other.

“Damn,” one of the guards said quietly. “That was tense.”

“I know right?”

“Hey… wanna have a staring contest?”

“Yes.”

---

“Farmers are asking for a larger supplement price to account for inflation, and the Workers Party wants to raise the minimum wage. There’s been a corruption scandal with several weather teams around Equestria; the mayors of Fillydelphia and Manehattan want you and and Princess Celestia to elect new members of the governing board in Cloudsdale.

“The petition was reintroduced, by the way, the one to sever your head and what not.”

“I thought I told you to wipe everyone-involved’s memories.”

“We did, but it resurfaced.”

“Ah, send some assassins this time.”

“Alright.” Night Sky wrote some markings down on her notepad.

“Hm… I’ll need to look further into the price supplement; we aren’t in particularly bad shape, we can probably do it until the grain price is returned to normal. I don’t think the minimum wage is issue, but I’ll confide in my sister about that. Schedule the selections for the next open slot I have after my upcoming one.”

Night Sky gave another nod and wrote some more information down with the quill she held in wing.

Luna’s eyes wandered down to the tiling of the hallway and she scrutinized the thin crevices between the tiles, following them as they intersected at precisely laid corners.

“Princess, is there something bothering you?” Night Sky asked in concern. “I’m not sure that I can help, but it’s always a good idea to confide in someone. If not me, maybe your sister can help you.”

“It’s nothing, really. At least, I don’t feel sad. I’m just… paranoid, I guess. Maybe that is not the most accurate term. But regardless, I am rightfully paranoid. I know my sister is planning something…. What, though? What could she possibly have in stock for me?”

“Maybe you should just ask her, Princess.”

“I did, though! And you know what she said?”

“I do not, Princess.”

“Guess!”

“Why, Princess?”

“Because your Princess has commanded you to!”

“Uhm… she said that she didn’t have anything planned, Princess,” Night Sky said nervously.

“That was the wrong answer, you ignorant fool!” Luna made a loud “hmph” sound and spun her head ever so slightly to side, frowning.

“My apologies, Princess. I promise it won’t happen again.” Night Sky took her insult in strides, but still flinched slightly when the princess called her a fool.

Luna breathed out through her nose, inwardly sighing. She frowned. “Ah, it is not your fault. Sometimes, I just have an itch to call someone names, and ‘ignorant fool’ tickled my fancy. I am truly sorry, Night Sky.”

Night Sky sighed quietly, glad that her princess was not actually angry with her. “It’s alright, Princess.”

“No, it is not. I should not be abusing my serfs for my own pleasure.”

“I’m not really a ser—nevermind, Princess.” Night Sky shook her head.

“Hm….” Luna hummed, not hearing her assistant’s correction. “What if… I sneak into her room, and find her plans for her next windigo project? It’s brilliant! Night Sky, help me on this escapade.”

“I’m not sure that I’m the most qual—”

“There is no time, Night Sky, we must start planning immediately!”

“Princess!” Night Sky blushed as she realized her mistake of raising her voice. “I-I mean, P-princess, sorry, I-I didn’t mean to—”

Luna nodded in understanding and held a hoof to Night Sky’s mouth.

“Y-yeah, s-sorry. I just don’t think that I’m the best pony for this job….”

“Have faith in me, Night Sky, that when I say everything will be fine, I mean it. Have faith in yourself, as well.”

“Alright, Princess. What do you want me to do?”

---

“Princess, why are these masks necessary?”

“Night Sky, dear, have you never seen A Play before?”

“What?”

“Have you ever seen A Play before?”

“Yes, I’ve seen a play…?” Night Sky responded with question.

“No, no, A Play.”

“What?”

“The performance A Play. It features two robbers who try and rob a bank; they are earth ponies unskilled in magic, and so they rely on my night to aid them in their sneaking.”

“A Play? What kind of a name is that?”

“I was the playwright.”

“My question is rhetorical, of course. It’s a very clever title.”

“In the play, the stallion and mare use these magical black masks to conceal their faces, along with these magical suits to hide their coat color and cutie mark.”

“I… see.”

The two managed to slip on their masks, and Luna helped Night Sky equip the black jumpsuit.

“So, Princess, why did you write a play where criminals operate under your night and get away with it? Don’t you think that sends a bad message?”

“Oh, no, they didn’t get away with it. They were thrown in the dungeon for six years.”

Night Sky opened her mouth as if to say something, but decided against it, instead shaking her head.

---

"Princess, what about the phoenix?"

"Philomena? She won't be a problem." Luna shuddered. "After... events with my sister, she goes to, erm, 'cool off'."

---

“Princess, I can’t help but think there is some easier way of doing this. You’re an alicorn, after all, and you have enough power to control celestial bodies. So why this? I mean, can’t you just read her mind or something?”

“I’m sure there is too, Night Sky. But those other ways aren’t fun. This isn’t a serious situation, and no other matters require me. Well, none that I want to attend to, at least.

“Do not be deceived, Night Sky, as I fear you and many others are: my sister and I may be alicorns that possess extraordinary power, but that does not make us efficient, amoral eccentric beings. We have feelings and hopes and dreams just as any other pony does. We laugh and cry just as other ponies do, because we are ponies at heart. This is all we are, all we have ever been, and all we will probably ever be.

“It’s possible that me and my sister could become some sort of untouchable god at some point, but we are not right now. Not very long ago, I was still possessed by my own hatred and longing.

“And if this is not enough for you, then just think about it: why would a being that does not have the mind of a pony stoop to the level of ponies? We fight over ridiculous things and are obnoxiously sentimental. So why would a “god” do that? A god would not need things like amusement or friendship.”

“I… I never thought about it like that, Princess. But that still begs the question of why you want to sneak into your sister’s room when I’m sure you know something less direct.”

Luna shook her head. “As I said, those ways just aren’t as fun. My sister does not keep a diary because she needs one, she keeps one because it is fun. Most ponies do that same.”

“I guess I see your point… but don’t you think this is dangerous? What if your sister catches us?”

“She’ll be seething with rage, I’m sure. She’ll probably not talk to me for a month. Maybe she’ll burn down a forest, too.”

“But—”

“And that’s why we’re not going to get caught. Besides…. I can’t really do any day magic….”

---

The night princess hushed the lucernae in the hallway surrounding her sister’s room.

Luna cast a silence spell on the hinges, assuring no sound would reach her sister’s ears.

Luna crept into the dark room first, Night Sky falling behind her in trepidation.

Luna started looking in various places around the room. Night Sky soon followed in suit.

The princess and assistant walked over to Celestia's closet.

When the closet turned up empty, Luna turned to her sister’s vanity. Luna and Night Sky checked all of the drawers, but again, came back empty hooved.

And again, both princess and assistant looked under the sun princess’s bed.

Not here, either, Luna thought to herself.

Luna’s eyes widened in realization. She can’t be serious….

Luna turned over to gaze upon her sister’s resting body. Sister, what’s in that diary of yours?

The princess of the moon found her sister clutching the book as if her life depended on it. The sleeping princess wore a scowl, as if she was having a particularly unpleasant dream.

Luna turned to Night Sky who simply shrugged. Night Sky made a hoof motion to leave, but Luna shook her head.

Luna eyed the book.

The dark princess used her magic to levitate the book out of her sister’s grasp, and nondescript book followed in it’s wake.

The day princess shifted in her sleep, and the two books nudged her body. She twisted and turned at the touch.

Luna winced.

Celestia tightened her grip on the book.

Luna let go of the diary, letting her nerves settle down for a moment before she continued the heist. After a moment of waiting for her sister to calm down, she grabbed the two books again.

“Mmm... Luna, what are you doing?”

“Nothing, Sister, go back to sleep. It is not time to raise the sun yet,” Luna said calmly.

“Okay….”

To be sure, Luna set her horn on her sister’s forehead and cast a sleeping spell.

With one final pull, Luna forced the book out of Celestia’s vicegrip. Why didn’t I think of using a sleeping spell sooner? I’m sure Night Sky had something to do with this….

Luna shook her head. What am I thinking? Night Sky was not involved at all, I’m sure. It must be those meddling anarchists. Wanting to overthrow the diarchy, those scoundrels....

---

“So, Sister, what is it you’re planning?”

Luna unclasped the buckle binding the covers together in the front, and proceeded to open the book.

What she found, however, was as frustrating as it was baffling.

“Are you jesting, Sister?! A pile of ashes?!” Luna ground her teeth as she seethed.

“I see what this is! Oh, so you think this will deter me? I’ll break your spell, sister, you’ll see! It does not fool me, you can count on that!”

Author's Note:

See, Luna can be ridiculous too—it just takes a little perspective.

Lucernae is Latin for "lamps". Latin makes stuff sound arcane, I found out.

Comments

[The A I]

Well...
good luck luna?
more please

[Ink_25]

Luna herself poked her breakfast salad with a fork held in her magic.

why would a being that does not have the mind of a pony stoop the the level of ponies?

Luna, what are you... oh... okay, I guess?