Hunt
“Sister, why are we taking a trip to the Crystal Kingdom? Isn’t this a bit early? I thought we weren’t supposed to visit your niece for another month.” Luna said. The carriage her sister and herself were riding painted green with a gold trimming, and smelled of cedar.
“Luna, Cadance isn’t my niece!”
“SISTER, I SWEAR ON OUR FAIR MOTHER’S GOOD NAME, IF YOU SAY WHAT I THINK YOU’RE ABOUT TO SAY, I WILL ERASE YOUR DISGUSTING AND PERVERTED SOUL FROM EXISTENCE”
“Luna, Luna, Luna…. Don’t be silly.”
Luna gave a serious look.
“Cadance isn’t my niece, she’s our niece.”
Luna stared at her sister with malice and intent.
“Sister, that’s first degree murder.”
“What?”
“Sister, why are we riding in a carriage? Couldn’t we just use a flying chariot?” Luna pointed out after an hour of silence.
“Well….”
“Or fly ourselves?”
“I mean….”
“Or get our mages to teleport us? Or teleport ourselves?”
Celestia waited for a moment, turning her head as if to hear better. “Any other suggestions?”
“I’m sure I could come up with more.”
Celestia sighed. “Sometimes, you just have to enjoy the little things in life. Like making ponies walk for you,” she joked.
“I suppose you’re right, sister. Truly this is something to behold: making others do your bidding.”
“That wasn’t the really the poi—nevermind.”
Celestia exhaled in content. “Isn’t the scenery gorgeous? I simply delight in how it changes from the lovely temperate climate of Canterlot to the arctic…. And the rounded mountains of Midequestria are so different from the jagged peaks of the North. And the culture is so rustic. It’s lovely.”
“It is beautiful, indeed. But why are we traveling north? This seems so random.”
“It’s a surprise, sister. Just wait.”
The carriage rolled past the magical field held back any evils that might have wanted to harm the residents.
The two alicorns shuddered as parts of their beings were torn away.
“Ah, the Crystal Kingdom is so lovely,” stated Celestia.
“Yes, the architecture here is so… deconstructivist....”
“You think so? I’d say it’s more brutalist-expressionist.”
“I think expressionism is simply too broad, especially to make a subcategory with. The flat faces of the crystals really create a new style entirely. Let’s just call it ‘flat blobitecture’.”
“Hm, I like it. Let’s make sure that Cadance puts out a public notice about the redefinition of their architecture.”
“Oh, auntie, it’s so nice to see you!”
“It’s only been a two months, Cadance,” Celestia said with a smile.
“But it’s been two months too long!” Cadance smiled back. “It’s nice to see you too, Auntie Luna!” She trotted over and wrapped her forelegs around the neck the Night Princess, embracing her in a hug.
Luna’s eyes widened. “I-it’s good to see you. Please don’t touch me.”
“Come on, Luna, live a little!” Cadance encouraged.
“I really don’t like being touched.”
Shining Armor stayed behind, silently watching from the background.
Cadance patted Luna on the back and smiled.
Celestia looked back at him and gave a serious, questioning stare, somehow managing to arch her brows whilst squinting.
“Do not touch me.”
Shining Armor’s eye’s widened and he nodded ferociously.
“So, Cadance, is everything ready?” Celestia inquired.
“Mhm! I thought we’d eat lunch together and head out afterwards!”
“Did you get the nets?”
“Yup!”
“Nets?” Luna asked, confused.
“Nets!” Cadance replied.
Celestia nodded. “Nets.”
“Nets…” Cadance added.
“Ne—why are we saying ‘nets’?”
“It’s a surprise!”
After lunch the three princesses and a seven royal guards left the boundaries of the crystal empire to fully embrace the North.
The air was fast moving but the wind remained quiet for the most part.
“So, what is the surprise?” Luna asked as they walked.
“Well, Luna, I saw how much you wanted a windigo, so we’re going on a hunting trip.” Celestia made a warm smile.
“What? But… I thought you said there weren’t any more windigos left in the world.” Luna crooked her head slightly in question.
“Well…. We don’t know. Philomena reminded me that there’ve been rumors of windigos in the North, so we thought that we should at least try and see if we could find one.”
“Oh…” Luna said slowly, a grin creeping onto her face. “Thank you, sister.” Luna paused. “How are we going to find one?”
“Oh, that’s simple!” Celestia replied.
“Well? ‘Don’t leave me hanging,’ as the foals say today.”
“Well, we just have to get really angry at eachother! Windigos feed on hatred and sadness, so if we just get mad, I’m sure they’ll come.”
“That’s genius!” Luna replied enthusiastically.
Everyone became silent.
“So how do we start?” Cadence asked.
“Well…. Uhm….” Celestia said sheepishly.
“Sister... I-I think that… you’re... ugly,” Luna said, unsure.
Celestia’s features were painted with a drop of sadness. “You really think so?”
“Well….” Luna bit her lip. “I-I mean…. No, not really. I’m sorry, sister. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
“Well I think you’re both ugly,” Cadence said, wearing an unimpressed look.
“Really?” Celestia asked again.
“Of course! Your proportions are way out of whack! I mean, come on, Celestia! Your midsection is so thick and short you look like a log painted white with twigs as legs! And Luna, your body is so small you look like a miniature bobblehead with an industrial sized spring! And what is that thing surrounding your cutie mark? Did you sit in some ink as a filly or something? Don’t you know how to take baths?
“I guess I can’t expect old mares to know what true beauty is,” Cadance flipped her hair out of her eye, “But at least try to find out about what looks decent.”
Both Luna and Celestia were uphaled.
“Well, excuse me, Ms. Perfect! Says the one who doesn’t even know how to run a citystate!” Celestia retorted. “Why do you even call it the Crystal Empire? It’s barely bigger than Ponyville!”
“At least I know when to stop eating my sweets, fatso!”
“I am not fat, do you understand?” Celestia’s mane caught ablaze, and Cadance finally understood where Twilight got it from. But Cadance couldn’t just stop then.
“Oh yeah? What’re you going to do, sit on me? Fatty!”
“Gah! I wish I had never adopted you, you ungrateful little twerp!” Celestia said, grinding her teeth.
“Sister, Cadance, isn’t this going a little too far…?”
“Oh, like you did when you tried to overthrow your sister?” Cadance replied snarkily.
Luna frowned, and her lip wavered. She wiped her eyes with her snowy fetlock and swallowed. Her brows V’ed in anger and she burst. “Well atleast I have the decency to not seduce the first stallion I meet with my magic and marry him!”
Now it was Cadance’s turn to look genuinely offended. “I didn’t do that!” was all she could manage to comeback with.
“Wel—!” Luna was cut off.
“Shut up, sister, she’s mine!”
“Oh, it’s always about you, is it?!”
“You know what, Luna? Noone cares that you were banished to the moon for a thousand years! Everyone is always trotting on eggshells around you! Grow a backbone!”
“I’m not the one that has intercourse with a bird! Freak!”
“Th-that’s regular!”
“It’s as regular as a trapezoid!”
“I thought you would understand, but apparently you're still an uptight shrew!”
“You—”
“P-Princess, we spotted one!” a guard yelled, interrupting Luna.
“Are you sure?” Luna asked, excited.
“Yes! I’m sure it’s one!” he replied.
“Excellent! Try bringing it down with a stun spell!” Celestia commanded.
The guard charged the complex spell, and his horn glowed a light blue. With small discharge sound, a slow moving aura was shot from his forehead.
The astral being easily dodged the first bullet, rolling out the way as it flew.
The other guards released their own shots soon after, creating a wall of magic that the windigo was not agile enough to avoid.
With a flash, the shots hit the creature, and it started spiraling towards the ground.
The windigo crashed into the ground and the plume of snow that was pushed up into the air was quickly blown away by the wind.
The three princesses and the seven guards started walking over to the beast, before Celestia called out. “Halt!”
“What is it, Princess?”
“Throw a net on it!”
Two of the guards took ends of a black net in their teeth and flicked their heads in unison to throw it.
The net lazily draped over the windigo, a corner flapping up with the wind.
“Perfect! Thank you, stallions,” Celestia approved.
“Great call, Auntie Celestia!”
“Thank you.”
The ten continued to slowly approach the fallen creature.
Luna made a large frown as she saw the body.
Everyone else bit their lip and looked around the tundra.
The body was disfigured, and parts of the creature were spilling out an ethereal, sparkling mist. It sullied the snow and turned it into a blue slush. The already pale color of the windigo drained out to leave an icy shell.
Noticing the tension, Celestia broke the silence. “Well, Luna, half of a windigo is better than no windigo.”
“No, it is not! Why? Why would I want a dismembered windigo?!” Luna snapped.
“Come on, Luna, it’s just a saying.”
“It is not a saying if it was torn from your disturbing mind only a few moments ago! That phrase has literally never been uttered before in the history of sentient beings!”
“Luna! I just wanted to cheer you up, I’m sorry….”
Luna sighed loudly, throwing her head into the air.
“Luna, I’m sorry.”
Luna rolled her eyes.
“Lunaaaaa….”
Luna moaned and looked away.
“Fine! I forgive you,” Luna mumbled.
“Apology accepted,” Celestia stated cheerfully.
“Wh—What?”
As the party departed, a small head poked out from behind one of the many black rocks that held no ice. It’s wispy body flowed in the wind, and it was curious.
But curiosity dismembered the windigo, as the saying goes.
“Squawk?” Philomena asked as Celestia trotted into the room.
Celestia sighed. “No, it didn’t. I don’t know what we were doing wrong!”
“Squawk?”
“We tried seven times….”
“Squawk. Squawk.”
“I know it was a failure, you don’t have to rub it in.
“But…. Ugh… What to do?!”
The Sun Princess sat on her bed in deep thought.
“Maybe…. No, that’s silly,” Celestia thought out loud.
Noticing her friend struggling, Philomena made a suggestion. “Squawk,” she offered. “Squawk?” She raised her wings in a shrug. “Squawk.”
“Philomena, you’re a genius. I think you deserve a present….”
“Caw!”
“Oh, oh, but later!” Celestia squinted hard and bit her bottom lip, holding back her urges.
“I’ll get started on it right away!”
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Molestia and ... I've got nothing for an evil non-NMM Luna.
Luna actually has a pet possum named Tiberius.
She also had a pet manticore named Melvin before her banishment. Though I suppose he was more of a friend than a pet.
5747211 Ah, from the comics. (I don't follow these, so I wouldn't know)
5748664 ?
5747160
Trolluna?.... i got nothin
*keeps on reading even though it is 3:30 AM*