Interfacing
With a merry tune to hum and a happy skip to her step, Velvet made her way through the streets of Canterlot toward Dawn's apartment. It was a perfect day already! No practice and no Crystal meant sleeping in until noon, a rare delicacy that she savored whenever available. All that was left was to spend some time with Dawn—and she had just the thing to spice up their life, tucked safely away in her saddlebags—then go see her parents and sweet little baby brother.
Halfway there, however, she hit a roadblock. Not literally, but she did come to a complete halt when she crossed paths with a straw-colored pegasus who had a toned body that stopped her in her tracks.
"Tumbler?" she squeaked more than said, quickly clearing her throat. "Tumbler, that you?"
The pegasus stopped and looked over at her. "Huh?" He blinked, his wings flexing and then folding back to his sides. "Oh, hi, Velvet Step."
Velvet just gawked for a moment, then her mouth ran away with her thoughts. "Wow, I figured you royal guards needed to be fit to wear all that heavy armor all the time, but jeeze, you really take the cake!"
Thunder Tumble's brow furrowed. "I, uh—thanks?"
Her hooves able to move again, she continued on her way, winking as she passed by him. "Keep it up, stud!"
It was a shame that stallions had the unfortunate possible side effect of pregnancy. Big, strong, muscular stallions like Tumbler sent tingles down her spine with the way they stood there, looking so big, strong, and muscular... Velvet gave a quick shiver to shake out the tantalizing-if-poorly-articulated thoughts.
Someday, she would work up the nerve to try the stallion side of life. She was curious, of course, but risking the chance for foals was Future Velvet's problem. Present Velvet was just fine with mares. By that point in her life, she was pretty confident in how to ensure a great night when she needed one. Why mess with what worked by throwing the unknown of stallion bits into the equation?
That didn't stop her from looking, of course, so she stole a glance over her shoulder at Tumble's well-built form before returning to the task at hoof.
She urged her legs to prance faster so that by the time she reached Dawn's apartment, she had exercised herself back to a calm state. "Hello!" she called as she knocked. "Dawn-Dawn! It's-a me!"
The door opened quickly and Dawn beamed up at her. "Hi, Velvet!" She pushed herself up to brush her cheek against Velvet's. "I didn't know you were going to drop by today!"
Velvet kissed the nuzzling cheek and walked inside when Dawn stepped out of the way. "Well, it's no fun if you know when I'm going to show up. You're just so darn cute when you're surprised."
Dawn's cheeks flushed, but she kept smiling, her ears giving the slightest twitch of excitement. "Are you hungry? I can make something. It's kind of lunch time!"
"Nah, I'm fine. Actually, I brought you something!" She slipped her saddlebags off and tugged a flap open to reveal a bunch of magazines. "I know you like to try new things, so I thought—" Grinning, she picked up one of them to show off the scandalous Cosmarepolitan cover that boasted sex, sex, and more sex. "—we could have a little fun."
Whatever blush had graced Dawn's cheeks paled in comparison to the bright shade of red her face turned. "O-o-oh! O-okay!"
Velvet flopped onto the couch and patted the spot next to her, an offer Dawn quickly accepted. "Now, cutie, what speaks to you: 5 Positions That'll Have You Screaming For More, 10 Foods To Stimulate Arousal, or How To Never Go Without The Big O Again?"
Dawn just stared, her mouth agape and her eyes wide.
Velvet grinned almost predatorily. "Five positions it is!"
---
"I give up." Velvet flung the third magazine across the room and draped herself over Dawn, pushing the mare back down onto the couch. "All of these suggestions are utterly and totally stupid."
Dawn swallowed and gently looped her forelegs around Velvet's neck. "W-well, they weren't all bad..."
With her face buried against Dawn's neck, the derisive snort Velvet gave in response elicited a giggle from the mare. "No, they were all bad. Seriously, 'sprinkle a bit of pepper under her nose right before she'—"
Dawn interrupted with a soft eep and squirmed. "Okay, so that didn't work, but—"
"Mmhm. And the yogurt?"
Silence said it all.
"And the fork?"
Dawn gave a high-pitched whine.
"I rest my case." Velvet laughed softly, relishing in how her breath tickled Dawn into giggles. "Oh, well. At least we had a good laugh. Can't ask for much more than that!" She grunted as she pushed herself up. "Well, I gotta hit the road, sunshine." She dotted a kiss on Dawn's nose.
Dawn's ears drooped, but she smiled nonetheless. "Oh... All right. Thank you for coming by. It was really nice to see you."
Velvet hopped off the couch and retrieved her saddlebags. "I've got a lot of free time on my hooves right now, so I'll be back, don't you worry your pretty little head." She started for the door.
"Wait! Your magazines?" Dawn looked at all the discarded Corsmarepolitans littering her living room.
"Hmm. Nah, I'll leave those for you to enjoy! Check out the erotic shorts." A grin curled Velvet's lips. "The ones by Lucent Dreams are particularly good."
Dawn flushed lightly and nodded. "O-okay! See you—see you next time."
Velvet waved as she trotted outside, then took a deep breath of fresh air. This wasn't so bad. Dawn and her were really getting along—after some bumps with working out the details of their relationship, they found a happy middle ground. Sometimes they'd go on dates, and sometimes they'd sit on the couch and try horrible sex advice for an hour or two.
After stopping in at home to take a quick shower, she made her way to Sunridge Sweets to discover it was, as usual, packed with sweets-loving ponies. When Velvet walked in, Sunbeam was in the middle of delivering orders to tables and looked over at Velvet with relief spreading across her face.
"Sweetpuffs! Can you run into the backroom and check on Red?"
Velvet stopped just long enough to salute, then started toward the counter. "Yes, ma'am!" She burst into the room where Red sat, playing with his blocks until a flick of his ear and a turn of his head brought his attention to her. "Hi, cutie patootie!"
Red's expression lit up and he squealed. "Huee!" He fell over backwards, then rolled over onto his stomach and wiggled all of his legs. "Shhhi!"
Velvet threw herself to the floor beside him and nuzzled her face into his mane. "You working on the tower again, huh, buddy?"
Red just squeaked and giggled.
"All by yourself, too! Isn't Mama so mean, leaving you here alone so she could deal with customers?" She rolled her eyes, but paused when she noticed a distinct shift in Red's demeanor.
His ears flopped back, his eyes glossed over, and he whimpered out, "Maa... Mamaaa... Mamaaa!"
Velvet jolted upright and yelled, "Mom!"
"What's wrong?" Pepper asked, sticking his head through the doorway. "What happened? Is Red okay?"
"Yeah, he's great!" Velvet looked over at him with wide eyes. "He just called for Mom!"
Pepper sucked in a breath and yelled as he disappeared back into the main area, "Sunbeam!"
In an instant, Sunbeam hurried into the back room. "What's going on? What happened? Is Red okay?"
Red cooed happily, and Sunbeam glanced between him and Velvet, panic giving way to slight confusion at his perfectly happy disposition.
Velvet grinned up at her. "He just said his first word!"
Sunbeam gasped. "He did?!" Her excitement dipped as she asked, "Did he say 'Papa' like you did?"
Velvet's grin widened and she shook her head.
"Oh, no, perhaps he said Velvet?" She blinked when Velvet just shook her head again. "Sister? Blankie? Wait..." Her eyes lit up and her mouth lifted in a smile. "Did he—"
"He did!" Velvet scooped Red up and held him out to Sunbeam. "Come on, say it, say Mama!"
Red gurgled.
Sunbeam stared, smiling, waiting. Red gave a small wriggle to try and turn himself around in Velvet's hooves.
"Honey, are you trying to prank me?" Sunbeam asked, her ears flattening to the sides. "This isn't funny at all."
"What? No! I swear, he called out 'Mamaaa, Mamaaa' like the cutest thing in Equestria that he is!" Velvet scrunched up her nose and furrowed her brow. "Why would I lie about that!"
Sunbeam sighed and took Red from her, sighing again—with more exaggerated defeat—when Red gave a cry of despair, his eyes locked on Velvet. "You promise? This little rascal who loves everypony and everything but me really said 'Mama'?"
Velvet drew her hoof across her chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die!"
Sunbeam watched Red squirming in her embrace before she set him down on the floor and smiled. "Hurray for small victories, I guess." She lifted her gaze to look at Velvet. "Oh, applepie, Pepper and I are going to take Red on his first trip to Manehattan. Since Crystal's out of town, do you want to come with us?"
"Do I want to come with you to see the coolest grandparents a pony could ever ask for?" Velvet's ears wiggled. "Do you even have to ask?!"
With a soft chime of laughter, Sunbeam watched Red as he batted at and chewed on Velvet's tail. "We were going to head out after work tomorrow, if that's not too soon."
Velvet shook her head, flicking her tail in an attempt to free it from Red's drooling mouth. "Nope! I'd be fine with leaving right now, honestly. Besides, watching Dad around Uncle Strongback is literally the funniest thing I can think of."
A wicked grin spread across both of their faces and, in perfect mother-daughter unison, they let out a mischevous cackle that startled a fearful yelp from Pepper outside.
--
"Look at him!" Dosey Dough cooed, pinching both of Red's cheeks despite his whimpering for her to stop. "Pep, you did right with this one."
Velvet wiggled her ears. "Aww, Grammy, that's not fair. He did right with me, too!"
A chorus of chuckles went around the room. Pepper's parents, Dosey Dough and Bitter Batter, had a nice home above their bakery, Born and Bread in Manehattan. It always smelled like fresh bread no matter what time of day it was, thanks to the years upon years of baking they had done together. There was also plenty of space for a family gathering without anypony feeling cramped.
"You had to be a family anomaly and go into ballet," Dosey teased with a mock scold in her tone. "This one, though. This one's going to be a baker. Just look at him!"
Bitter Batter sat quietly beside her, the permanent scowl on his face belying the amusement Velvet could clearly see dancing in his eyes. "Let the foal go, Dosey. He's going to spit up on you if you don't."
Dosey huffed. "Oh, excuse me for enjoying that I have grandfoals!"
Aunt Rocky Road gave an exaggeratedly loud scoff. "Like it's my fault that my kids moved away."
"Well, I didn't see you try very hard to convince them not to," Dosey chided as she returned Red to Sunbeam and folded her forelegs over her chest.
Rocky Road blinked, then thrust her hooves at Velvet's parents. "You're one to talk! They moved to Canterlot!"
"Come on, seriously? We're going to fight at the first family reunion we've had in years?" Aunt Cad Berry rolled her eyes. "This is why we can't have nice things."
While the mares squabbled, the stallions all sat in a row on one of the couches. Velvet looked over at them and grinned at the sight of her father—sweet, dorky, lanky Dad—sitting as tall as he could next to the towering behemoth that was Uncle Strongback, Cad Berry's husband. Pepper even had his chest puffed out to make himself look bigger. Uncle Tecto Terrane just stared off into space despite Rocky Road looking to him for support in her argument.
They were such a weird family of earth ponies: bakers for grandparents, an ice cream mare married to a geologist, a confectioner married to a construction worker, and a baker married to a cake decorator with a ballerina for a daughter and a future-career-currently-unknown foal.
Velvet beamed as she let her gaze flicker between the still-going argument. They were all so different, and yet at the end of arguments like this, they were still family. It was a nice reminder that differences didn't separate ponies.
"Velvet," Cad Berry chimed, turning everypony's attention to her, "have you found a nice stallion yet over in Canterlot?"
"Or mare!" Rocky Road added.
"I'd prefer a stallion, actually," Dosey muttered. "I want great-grandfoals."
Bitter Batter lightly flicked Dosey's shoulder and the mares all laughed, then went quiet as they waited for Velvet to respond.
Slowly, her ears dropped. Oh, right. There was that one teensy but recurring difference that made her feel more separated from them than anything else. "Well, um—"
"She's a career mare," Sunbeam interrupted, waving a hoof. "And she's still young! She has plenty of time to figure that out later." She looked at Velvet out of the corner of her eye and offered a reassuring smile.
Velvet rubbed the back of her neck. "Oh, uh, yeah..." She cleared her throat. "Actually, I got a really great part in our next ballet!"
Rocky Road clapped her hooves together. "That's great!"
"What is it?" Cad Berry asked, one brow raised.
Before Velvet could respond, Dosey asked, "Pepper, could you be a dear and make some snacks for everypony? Your old apron is still hanging up in the kitchen. There's some dough in the fridge."
Pepper, who was still doing his best to not look scrawny next to Strongback, deflated. "What?"
Dosey pointed at the kitchen. "It's over there, if you've forgotten, since you don't visit your momma that often."
"I—" Pepper's ears drooped, but he slid off the couch and shuffled his way into the kitchen. "Okay, Mom."
Dosey nodded and looked back at Velvet. "Now, dear, you were saying?"
"Oh, uh, yeah." Velvet grinned. "We're doing Canterella next! My friend Nightingale and I auditioned for the Evil Stepsisters and we got the roles together!"
"You're happy to be an evil stepsister?" Dosey raised her brow. "Don't you want to be Canterella?"
Velvet snorted and waved a hoof, laughing. "Oh, sure! Yeah! If only it were that easy! No, no way, Perennial got that role before it was even announced. I doubt they even held auditions for it! I mean, yeah, there were sign-up forms, but—"
"Then you should have signed up and auditioned for that, not an evil stepsister!" Dosey sighed. "Dearie, you have to reach for the stars. Nopony's going to just give them to you!"
Velvet bit back a bitter retort. She sucked in a breath through her teeth and smiled. Her grandmother meant well. She just didn't know what she was talking about. Focus on the good intentions. Ignore the desire to fight! "I'll try next time, Grammy."
Pepper quietly walked into the room, doing everything he could to avoid attracting attention to himself—save for taking off the adorable apron that read 'Mommy's Little Baker' across the front. He had just set down a tray of little cookies when the room exploded with laughter.
Cad Berry hunched over, holding her sides with both forelegs. Rocky Road pointed at him with one hoof while the other was clamped over her mouth in an attempt to smother the high-pitched squeal of amusement. Strongback grinned, and Tecto came out of his zoned-out funk just long enough to snicker.
Sunbeam's cheeks were puffed out and her eyes watered, but she did her very best to save her husband's dignity as he stood there with his tail tucked between his legs and his face a bright red.
Dosey, however, kept a perfectly straight face as she glanced between them all. "And what's so funny?"
Cad Berry wheezed. "Ap-apron!"
"I bought it for him as a birthday present. Are you saying my heartfelt and sincere gift is funny?" Her ears pinned back.
"Yes!" shrieked Rocky Road.
Pepper pouted and stormed his way back to the kitchen. "Oh, you all can go—can go—"
"Suck an egg," Sunbeam finished for him in a voice that cracked from the laughter she struggled to strangle.
Velvet curled up around Red as she grinned and snickered. "Red, I'm so sorry, but our papa is kind of a mama sometimes."
Red just gazed up at her fondly, his ears perked and alert.
Sunbeam reached out and slapped Velvet upside the head. "Velvet Sprinklepuff Step! Don't teach him things like that!"
"Sunbeam," Dosey said in a warning tone as she stared at her, then smiled. "That thing you do with the cutesy names is why you're my favorite."
"Hey!" Cad Berry, Rocky Road, and Pepper cried.
Sunbeam beamed at her. "Thank you, Doseydove. I'm glad somepony appreciates my hard work."
"But—" Dosey leaned over and lightly thwapped the back of Sunbeam's head. "—don't slap my sweet little grandfoal."
Velvet mirrored her mother's beam and chirped, "Thanks, Grammy!"
"And as for you—" Dosey gave Velvet a similar thwap on the forehead. "Respect your father. He's the breadwinner, after all."
"Yeah!" Pepper called from the kitchen. "And the breadmaker!"
"Oh, you're the breadmaker all right, but the breadwinner? We're a team, sweetcheeks!" Sunbeam shot a playful glare at the kitchen doorway.
Velvet laughed and hugged Red to her chest as a new argument roared across the room. "We have the weirdest family," she whispered to him. "Isn't it great?"
Red giggled and bopped her on the nose. "Shhi!"
"Shhi indeed, my little cutiepie." Velvet lifted her gaze to watch as Sunbeam marched into the kitchen. She grinned when Pepper gave a cry for help that nopony minded. "Shhi indeed."
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Good chapter.
Loved it.
Ehem. OHMYGODREDSPOKEITWASSOCUTEHEWENTMAMAANDSUNBEAMDIDNTEVENHEARIT.
Ok im done.
I love Velvet's family. They are just amazingly hilarious. Also, that is the second best apron ever. (Best goes to one that goes "don't kiss the cook, you don't know where my mouth has been")
So much cute, I nearly had a heart attack... no wait I ...*clutches chest and falls out of chair*
Then I started laughing, and they the time it got to the end, i was laughing so hard my ribs hurt. this chapter was brilliant and really brightened my day. the laughter and the cuteness was a wonderful blend.
6810659
6810748 Thank you! This one was a lot of fun to write. I've been hammering out her extended family for a while and I'm pretty happy with all their backstories. Add them to the minific pile!
6810912 Thanks!! Loved writing it!
6811025 IKNOWIFEELSOBADDOINGITBUTITWLLBEOKAYISWEAR
6811034 Oh, golly, the stories for the aunts is so much fun. The way Rocky Road met Tecto Terrane... I might do it after I finish the Rossby minifics because I think y'all are going to like how Rocky and Tecto met.
6811233 Red has that effect on people.
6811298 I used to buy Cosmo magazines just to read the articles/suggestions and laugh. Then I got tired of laughing at them on my own dime. Some of their suggestions are TERRIBLE... And the examples Velvet gave are all real things!
Oh no. Anzel kept giving me whiplash, but you. You're just trying your best to make my heart give out. It will not happen! I will not give in to the cute!
I must be strong
*rubs tear from eye*
I remember when a certain young lady was not-so-certain at all about how a certain not-that-lewd scene would be taken. And now just look at her! Cracking forking jokes...
(I just about killed myself when that last sentence manifested from my fingers.)
Admit it, you have a tub-full of Cosmo mags in your basement.
Is it bad that I think I've read these? Except maybe the fork...although that has my horrible imagination working overtime on likely fork escapades. fork-scapades?
Happy middle ground says she, digging a rut says I. Ah, humbug, I'm probably just being cynical. Dawn doesn't seem like the kind of pony who would really be happy with the arrangement long-term but that's just my impression. This relationship could last, but I foresee a certain mare coming to terms with Velvet's proclivities. Then again, Dawn might just grow on Velvet.
Sunbeam is best mama.
Poor Pepper. Don't worry, pops, it's not the size of the stirrer, it's the lovin' in the oven.
Agreed.
Great chapter.
And how do you pinch things with hooves?
6811688 Blargh! If Red's first word can't give you a heart attack, then there's no hope for you at all!
6811829 Pffbbt! Sacrifices must be made for Velvet's sake! The fork... Cosmo suggests taking a fork and pressing it into your partner's thigh, buttocks, etc.
6812267 I think I purchased five or six issues before the laughs I got didn't outweigh the ticket price to the show of "seriously?? If someone does that to their man, they are putting him in a hospital!"
I think Cosmo is actually a feminist magazine trying to kill men, one bad sex advice at a time.
6812376 Thanks! Same way, I imagine, they pick up small objects, cast spells, and sit on clouds. Magic! Also, they say "pinch [me/his cheeks]" in the show, sooo... I don't see a problem here!
So sweet.
6812598 methinks I was laughing too hard at dawn and velvet to immediately start cooing over red.
I do believe you'll end up getting me one day though. But I shall fight it with all my might!!
Those names are just punishing!
You really don't pull any punches, do you?
I gotta say, you're quite the writing pundit.
6811356 what?!?! even the fork thing?!?!
6813172
img2.thejournal.ie/inline/2476419/original/?width=599&version=2476419
6813243 That doesn't sound erotic at all. Though, having been stabbed with malicious intent before, I tend to lean towards backing away / disarming anybody with a stabby poky thing aimed at me.
Fantastic story, as all of what you write are, as always.
6813243 Lmfao!!! im dying! I cant freaking breathe! that is hilarious.
6813321 Im in the same boat as you are lol
6812612 Thank you!
6812934 I do my best to take expectations and punt them to the next level.
I think I'm mixing metaphors, but that's your punishment for starting something I can't finish.
6813321 I'm pretty baffled by that suggestion, so I had to include it.
I enjoy the mental image.
Dawn: *forks Velvet's flank*
Velvet:
Dawn: *tentatively forks Velvet's leg*
Velvet:
Dawn: *forks Velvet's hoof?* A-Am I doing this right?
Velvet: I don't think there's any right way to fork someone... *pushes fork away* At least, not with a utensil. *glomp*
I don't know why, but somehow my brain read this as Velvet lamenting the fact that, being pregnant was making her interested in stallions...
my brain broked at that point.
Huh, this is the first time we've even seen Velvet acknowledge stallions. IIRC she mentioned in the very first chapter that she liked them both equally... and then spends the rest of the chapter gushing over mares. This almost seems to come out of nowhere. Plus, what's the big deal about pregnancy? Velvet makes it sound like she never would have sex at with a stallion just because of that risk...
You never know with someone who teases people for fun.
Suddenly I don't feel sad for Sunbeam anymore...
Possible underlying reason for Velvet not sleeping with Stallions and their unfortunate side effect of possible pregnancy?
Props to Pepper, who might be the strongest being in Equestria to put up with this abuse.
Huh, Velvet you make it sound like that's a bad thing...
Well, this chapter was hilarious and adorable as usual, although there is definitely a part of me that wants to see Velvet's extended family meet Crystal's extended family now. The chaos would only be exceeded by the cooking.
Also, since I read the last two chapters at the same time, I have to say that the packing discussion made me laugh because I would be traveling with little more than a toothbrush if I was Crystal thanks to years of backpacking in Boy Scouts and no need for clothes.
Finally, seeing these two chapters next to each other made me notice that they are both exactly 3300 words according to fimfic and further checking reveals that literally every single chapter in this story has a word count divisible by 100 so now I am wondering how much of that was deliberate.
6814349 I added a paragraph after the one you quoted regarding Velvet's feelings toward stallions to see if that clears things up some.
6814930 The bakers and the pizza makers would be an unstoppable duo of insanity!
As for the word count, all of my stories have chapter counts divisible by 100. It is both deliberate and enforced—my regular readers are quick to panic if I accidentally mess up my word count by doing post-publish edits. It's amazing how fast folks can get out pitchforks and torches over two extraneous words!
6819127 Huh, that was a pretty nice addition and something that I had been curious about, but I take no responsibility if your word count gets thrown off because you added something because of me.
6819175 S'all good, we're at 3,400. Which I prefer anyway, so that it isn't two of the same word counts in a row!
I'm gonna be a rebel. Velvet and Tumbler, OTP. C'mon, Velvet, give the poor stallions a shot if you're that interested. Contraception is a thing, you know.
Well, so much for the Cosmarepolitan suggestions.
Poor Pepper.
Poor Pepper x2. It always sucks being the one sent out of the room on errands when everyone else is familying it up.
Geeze, x3, even.
Hmm, me thinks poor Dawn might be feeling a bit neglected since Velvet just seems to pop in for sex and a date. I know she agreed to it, but I wonder if she's not wanting a bit more.
6823151
Hmm, maybe the edits still weren't enough. It's a mix of the unknowns—the possibility of getting pregnant, even with contraceptives, as well as the whole "So, you, uh, you stick that in there? That's how this works? What do I do?" Velvet has experience with mares, it's a certainty, she knows what she's doing, etc. 
6823270 Dawn definitely seems to be the type of mare that wants to settle down, eh?
Heh, that reunion. It's nice to see Velvet grow up, at least in some ways.
Moving back to that reunion though, it is terribly endearing to see all the family antics at work. I guess we'll have to wait and see whether or not Pepper will recover....
I do like Velvet's growth through the chapters. The notion that everything(indeed, anything) can and will end, is never something lightly taken, especially something so regular and dependable as her relationship and interactions with a long time friend. Letting go is a natural part of growing up, and an integral part in not succumbing to the dark side.
Don't be Darth Velvet, Velvet.
Seriously Velvet? You of all ponies should know how stupid and/or physically hazardous those always are.
...so is this before or after she tried them?
After it is.
I just lmao at the apron scene!!
Wait. What's her middle name? (Sprinklepuff or Chocobunny) Or is one of them, or both, just a funny baby name?
8336184 Hehe, she doesn't have one, just Velvet Step. Sunbeam just has a loving habit of inserting "middle" names when she is being playfully stern!