• Published 8th Jun 2015
  • 2,338 Views, 58 Comments

Life, With Style - Friggin Jake

Rarity and Rainbow Dash's life together as a couple one moment at a time.

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Rarity's Cure for a Hangover

Rainbow Dash’s moan came through the stairwell and into the kitchen. Her cries of pain were practically haunting the house. Rarity sighed as she put on the coffee.

Dash finally made it into the kitchen, crawling to her seat at the breakfast table. Rarity shook her head as Dash awkwardly stumbled into her chair before resting her head on the table with a thud. Another creaky moan escaped her mouth.

“Rough night?” Rarity teased.

"Never drinking again," Dash weakly replied.

Rarity tsked as she poured Dash a cup of coffee as well as a glass of water. “Really now, we both know that’s highly unlikely of you to follow through.”

“No way, this time I mean it. Never.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Just like how you ‘meant it’ when you said you wouldn’t go to Applejack’s social last night and instead stay in and help me select the color of the cloth for my new credenza.”

“I meant that too! Just, it was kind of... really super boring. Seriously, if you don’t want me to get obliterated with Applejack, you're gonna have to get cooler hobbies. ”

Rarity chuckled as she walked over and tussled Dash’s wild, shaggy mane. “Oh, Dash. You’re incorrigible, but you’re my diamond in the rough.” She leaned in and planted a kiss on Dash’s forehead, to which Dash replied with another groan.

“Love you too, Rare, but I need toast. This is life or death, here. You want me to live, right?”

Rarity leaned back and grimaced. “I do, dear, but what you need is to brush your teeth. You smell like my father on Hearth’s Warming morning.”

“That comes later. Now comes toast.”

Rarity rolled her eyes as she scanned the cupboards for bread, but suddenly, she came upon an epiphany.

“Tell you what, darling. Instead of toast, I’ll give you something you’ll truly enjoy.”

“Rarity, I’d love to, but I can’t muster that kind of energy in the morning.”

The next sound that came from Dash was a shriek of pain as her migraine-rattled head was swatted with a newspaper.

“That’s what you get for being a lecherous crumb bum, darling. But anyway, a hangover like this calls for me to make you a Bloody Mare.”

“If you’re gonna kill me, can it at least be for something really bad, like reading your diary with Sweetie Belle... by the way, Thunderhoof was so not the hottest member of the Back Alley Colts.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Dash, a Bloody Mare is a drink. Have you never heard of it?”

“Can’t say I have.”

Rarity chuckled. “Well, you’re in for a treat. Basically, a Bloody Mare is just tomato juice, vodka, and worcanter sauce, with added seasonings and whatnot depending on who makes it. Personally, I adore olives, but I also have some wasabi or celery if you want–”

“Just slow down for a second,” Dash murmured with a slightly raised voice, her head still firmly planted to the table. “You want me to drink vodka in the morning? When I’m hungover.”

“It’s just a little bit, darling,” Rarity explained as she began mixing the ingredients together in a glass. “This is the best cure for a hangover.”

“That literally makes no sense. This was caused by me drinking too much, and now you’re saying the way to make it better is to drink more.”

“It’s to ease the pain a little, Dash” Rarity replied as she tossed the contents of the glass with some ice into her shaker.

“Ease the pain a... Rarity, are you a drunk?”

Rarity scoffed. “Really now, dear, I’m simply trying to help you.”

“You’re asking that I drink more in order to ‘ease the pain’. That’s how an alcoholic talks.”

Rarity frowned. “I am not a lush, Dash, and I would appreciate it if you ended this train of thought right now.”

“I’m just calling it like I see it.”

“The way you ‘see it’ is more often than not wrong!”

Dash grinned. “Look, we can sit here and bicker all morning, but what you really need to do is admit you have a problem.”

“I was not the one spending all night ‘pounding it back’, as you would say, with friends.”

“Hey, prove to me you’re not. Maybe you’ve gotten to the point where drinking all day is how you function. What’s in that coffee? Vodka? Gin? Mouthwash? It’s mouthwash, isn’t it? Don’t do it, Rarity, we love you and stuff.”

“Look, you damned idiot, this is what adults do rather than spend all day wallowing in their hangovers like a teenager!” At this point, Rarity was shaking her shaker like it was her money maker.

“At least teenagers aren’t alcoholics.”

Rarity growled in frustration as she sent the shaker hovering over Dash’s head, dumping the contents all over her face.

Dash giggled. “Oh, Rarity. You’re incorageous drama queen. But I love you.”

“The word is incorrigable,” Rarity murmured with venom as Dash licked the drink on her face.

“Oh, whatever... hey, this is actually pretty good. Can you make more? With olives this time.”