• Member Since 10th Jan, 2014
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Cursory Note


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It has been almost three years since the Invasion, and the Hive is crumbling. Changelings are dying every day and all attempts to save it have failed. Chrysalis has blamed herself for every lost life, and she has reached the end of her rope. She can't see any way out of this mess, and she's running out of time. There is only one thing she can think of doing to help her changelings, but it costs so much of her. Can she do it?

Coverart by the fantastic Berserkeroo

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

God.
So emotional... Maybe it's just me, but still. So good! ^3^

It's not bad at all, but for me, it doesn't really resolve. It's too short and doesn't have many answers at all. What is the light? Why is it dimming? Why must she sacrifice herself? How does that fix it? How have the changelings been dying off more and more? What's killing them? Starvation? Disease? Why would she only send a letter about Shinning Armor to Cadence? She could swallow her pride and admit defeat could she not? If they meant more to her than anything, could she not have sought help from Celestia and the others, in agreement to, she would make amends and pay for her crimes? The writing isn't bad at all, and the pacing is fair. But definitely bring it out more, hash out the ideas. Double the length maybe, or maybe even triple it. Maybe even show the stages of the deaths getting worse and worse. That would bring this story up big time in my opinion.

5752009 Thanks for the comment! I totally understand where you;re coming from, I actually did start off this story with something more along those lines in mind but as I was writing I decided that I only wanted to show Chrysalis' last moments as queen of the Hive. I also wrote this as more of a brain booster, but I can answer all of your questions that you brought up if you would like me to.

5752280 I wouldn't mind at all. There are so many theories regarding the Chrysalis and the Changelings. From being Princess Papillion and forced to be the ruler of the demented changelings, to being the Princess who was taken over by the love potion brought up in "Hearts and Hooves." I always like hearing and reading other's views, to me, I think I can kinda see where you are going with this one, but a clarification never hurts.

5752296 No problem! To me, Chrysalis always seemed like an excellent ruler, but a horrible diplomat. In this story particularly, she sincerely believes that if she approaches Celestia or Cadence with anything more significant than the letter she sent about Shining Armor, her entire race will be wiped out without any second thought on the part of the ponies. Most of her reasoning for this is if someone tried to do what she did to her Hive and her children, Chrysalis would destroy them in a heartbeat, so it's not a problem of her being too proud to appeal to the ponies, she is too afraid for her children. The light is more of a representation of the Hive's overall health, so as changelings are dying and getting sicker, the light dims. In this story, the changelings are dying of starvation and diseases caused by malnutrition, because their love for each other can't support the Hive anymore, especially since the Canterlot Invasion has caused them all to be distraught, confused, and other negative emotions that play into their sickness. In my headcannon for changelings, negative emotions are poisonous to them, and since the Hive has been feeling nothing but those emotions for three years, the changelings are dying more often. Chrysalis sent the letter to Cadence as a kind of last apology, because deep down she does feel bad about what she had to do, even if it was justified to her. While in Canterlot as Cadence she had seen a few ponies doubt each other's love and didn't want that to happen to Cadence, because Chrysalis knows exactly how much Shining loves her. Because she is a queen, Chrysalis is more powerful than the other changelings and she loves them more than anything, so she used her magic to essentially turn herself into pure love to feed the changelings, which she thinks will support the Hive long enough to get them back on the right track.

Does that answer everything you were wondering about? If not, please let me know and I'll be glad to clarify

5752323 That's pretty good, and a pretty good theory. Hive mind and Hive health. If you were to ever come back to this a build on it, I think it could be really good. Maybe even catch a glimpse of Cadence receiving the letter as well.

Pretty clever idea. And so intense... You catch every emotion with the good words, and I like to read such an efficient pen (or keyboard :twilightsheepish:)
In two words: Good job! :raritywink:
(That's what I call a return)

Wow... this was pretty good! :pinkiehappy: The story is very intense, the storytelling is excellent, and overall, very well written! Well done! :twilightsmile:

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