Hootenanny
Chapter Two: Hootenanny
Adam and Big Macintosh stood behind Golden Delicious as he readjusted his bow tie for the fourth time, watching as each attempt resulted in a worse job due to his now trembling hooves. Finally, Adam sighed and set down the satchel he had brought with him.
“Are you nervous?” Adam asked as he stood next to his soon to be brother-in-law.
“As a timberwolf in a forest fire,” he replied as he sat back and lifted his neck so that Adam could tie the knot, “are the reporters still out there?”
“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied as he peeked behind a nearby curtain.
“Only a few,” Adam added, “Twilight got rid of the disreputable ones, but since this is technically a historical event, she couldn’t get rid of the Canterlot Voice or the Tall Tale Times.” Adam took a step back to admire his work and then pointed to the mirror. “How does it feel to be a celebrity?”
Golden Delicious threw a glare in Adam’s direction, who held his hands up in surrender, not knowing that his glare had appeared at the mention of the newspaper.
“Sorry. If it makes you feel better, all three of the other princesses sent wedding gifts.”
“Surprised they didn’t come personally,” Golden Delicious muttered as he turned to the door, “this whole thing is getting way out of hoof. It isn’t history—I’m just marrying the mare of my dreams.”
“Hey now,” Adam said, forcing himself not to correct the stallion about his word choice for his sister, “it doesn’t matter if Sweet Apple Acres is empty and it’s just you, Amy, and Mister Waddle performing the service. This is historical to you and Amy.”
Adam got down on one knee so that he could be eye level with Golden Delicious.
“My sister has dreamed of this day since we were little, Golden," he continued, "obviously, I imagine the dream involved another human—”
Golden Delicious bit his lip and pulled away, but Adam placed his hands on both of his shoulders and pulled him close once more.
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he continued, “I just mean that life throws us curveballs, and—”
“Throws us what?” Golden Delicious asked.
“Right, idioms,” he replied and thought of another way to say what he wanted to, “life is unpredictable, but think of this; even with everything that has happened, and even with all of the problems that happened when we first arrived, and even with the odds stacked against my sister, she still managed to find you.”
Adam felt his eyes begin to burn.
“She loves you, Golden,” he said, his voice cracking, “don’t ever doubt that. I’m sure that even if mom somehow managed to get here, she would be in the front row cheering you two on.”
“You really think so?” Golden Delicious asked.
“I know so,” Adam said as he pulled him in for a hug, “besides, who cares what anyone out there thinks? What matters is what you think.”
“Thank you.”
Big Macintosh watched the scene unfold from the corner of the room, occasionally turning away and peeking through the curtain to see which members of the Apple Family were arriving. Apple Strudel, Apple Bottoms, Braeburn, he listed off the names of the ponies that he saw trotting up the path to the homestead, quirking an eyebrow as he saw the town council arrive. Even Mayor Mare, Tall Order, and Lady Justice are here. He shifted uneasily in his suit. How do humans manage to gallop around all day in these things, he thought as the fabric rubbed against his flanks. He tried to take a few steps forward, but the fabric was unrelenting in its constraint.
As Big Macintosh tried to get comfortable, he heard a small squeak; it wasn’t loud, but it did cause his ears to twitch. He turned back to Adam and saw that his eyes were red as he hugged Golden Delicious tight. Adam’s eyes turned to him for a moment, but Big Macintosh turned away just as Adam released the stallion from his grasp.
“Come now,” Adam said as he stood up, “let’s go out there and make my sister the happiest girl—mare, in Equestria.”
“Sure thing,” Golden Delicious replied as he trotted to the door with a smile, “you two coming?”
Big Macintosh looked out the window once more and saw a group of mares approaching. He looked over himself in the nearby mirror, his eyes stopping at his pants.
“In a minute,” he replied, “just need to ask Adam somethin’.”
Golden Delicious nodded and then turned to leave. As the door closed, Big Macintosh turned back to Adam, who had turned to the mirror to look himself over once more. He hesitated before inching forward, desperately trying not to move too widely. Adam readjusted his bow tie before looking at Big Macintosh through his reflection.
“What is it, Big Mac?” he asked.
Big Macintosh looked back to the window and listened as the sounds of ponies grew louder downstairs. He heard the giggling of the mares and tried to fight the grimace that threatened to grow on his muzzle.
“I don’t—” he started but then stopped himself when he saw that Adam was staring at him intently.
Ask him to let out the pants more, he thought to himself, nope, ask him if it looks okay—nope. Downstairs, he heard the sound of ponies cheering and calling out to Golden Delicious,. He shook his head and stretched out his hind leg.
“Adam, I think—”
The sudden sound of tearing fabric echoed through the room, and both Big Macintosh and Adam’s eyes widened at the sound. Big Macintosh turned his head to look at what happened, though he knew by the sound that he had just ruined the pants. He could see his cutie mark once again through the hole he just made.
“Oh no!” Adam shouted as he ran across the room.
“I’m sorry,” Big Macintosh replied as his tail tucked between his legs, “I was gonna say somethin’, but…” his words trailed off as he turned and saw himself in the mirror. “I’m ruinin’ this.”
He closed his eyes, but the moment he did, images of the ponies downstairs flashed through his mind. I just want this to go well for Amy, he thought. He could feel himself shaking as he continued to mentally berate himself, only to find that his body calmed down the moment he felt Adam’s hand on his withers. He opened his eyes once more and saw that Adam was kneeling in front of him. He offered no resistance as Adam’s arms wrapped around his neck for a hug.
“Big Mac, it’s going to be okay.” Big Macintosh felt Adam pull away and watched him give a soft smile, but he could see that his eye was twitching. “Excuse me for just a moment.” He walked calmly to the door and turned back to Big Macintosh to give him another smile, but the moment the door was shut, he heard Adam scream.
“Miss Rarity!” he shrieked, “code red!”
Big Macintosh heard a crackling noise behind him and turned around just in time to see an orb of light appear in front of the mirror. Rarity materialized in front of him with a crazed look in her eyes at the same time that the door behind him reopened. A moment later, Adam was standing beside the mare as her eyes darted back and forth across Big Macintosh’s frame.
“Where are they?” she asked, and Adam poked at his flank, causing the stallion to blush.
“It happened only a moment ago.”
“I need an emergency sewing kit, stat!”
“On it.” Adam yanked open his satchel and rummaged through the contents, finally pulling out a small sewing kit. “Big Mac, everything is going to be fine. I need you to calmly remove the pants.”
“There’s no time for that!” Rarity shouted.
Big Macintosh’s eyes widened. Rarity’s horn glowed, and both he and the sewing kit were thrown into the air. He felt the pants fall from his legs, and then he watched as they flew across the room and landed on the desk. Both Adam and Rarity immediately turned away, not noticing that Big Macintosh’s jaw hung agape. He watched as Adam balled up a bunch of papers and threw them into the wastebasket.
“Why can’t Amy ever keep her workspace tidy?” Adam grumbled as he cleared off the desk, “be careful, Miss Rarity,” he whispered as she pulled out her pair of red glasses, “they’re already in delicate condition.”
“We can save them, darling,” she replied, “trust me, I’m a seamstress.”
As the needles and thread started to swirl around her, Adam turned to glance at Big Macintosh, whose shock had now morphed into confusion.
“Big Mac, I’m sorry, but we need you to wait outside for a moment.” He leaned in and placed a hand on the stallion’s shoulder. “Miss Rarity needs complete concentration.”
Before he could say anything, Big Macintosh felt himself being half-led and half-pushed out of the room. By the time he turned back around, the door was already shut. He pressed his ear against the door and could hear bits of the conversation they were having. Hooves thundered behind him, and he looked back just in time to see Applejack reach the top of the stairs covered in punch.
“Where is she?” she growled, “soon as I heard Adam yell somethin’ about ‘code red’, Rarity spits an entire cup of punch in my face and disappears.”
“It was my fault,” he replied, shrinking beneath his sister’s glare, “I tried tellin' him my flanks were too big, but then…” He looked up to see Applejack’s eyes soften. “I’m messin’ up Amy’s weddin’ somethin' fierce.”
“Now don’t go blamin’ yourself,” Applejack said softly as she placed a hoof on his back, “stallions weren’t made for those things. I’m sure Adam and Rarity ain’t mad at you.”
Big Macintosh’s ears perked at the sound of the door opening, and he turned just in time to see Adam appear in the doorway and give a soft smile his way. He noticed him prepare to speak but stop himself when he saw Applejack.
“They’re resting comfortably on the bed, Big Ma—Mister Macintosh.” Adam placed a hand on his own chest and then motioned for him to enter. “You can come in now, just be careful next time.”
Rarity appeared next to Adam in the doorway and shot a furious glare up to her assistant.
“And you, Mister Garnet, should have known better than to keep his trousers so tight.”
Adam shot a matching glare back at Rarity and pointed at her.
“You were the one who told me that loose pants went out of style last season.” He crossed his arms and huffed. “The things I put up with to keep with the fashion trends around here.”
“There is fitted,” Rarity said through gritted teeth, “and then there is simply too tight.”
“But they looked really good on him.”
Big Macintosh and Applejack looked at one another, unsure of what was happening front of them.
“Uh, Adam?” Big Macintosh asked quietly, but his question went unheard as the two fashionistas leaned in towards each other.
“You should have seen him at the boutique,” Adam continued, “the pants were flawless.”
“Flawless?” she huffed, “and just what do you think would have happened had the tear appeared during the ceremony? Mister Macintosh is already shaking like a leaf, and that was with only you seeing him.”
“Sugarcube?” Applejack asked.
“If you didn’t think I could do it, you could have just checked them yourself.”
Rarity scoffed and tossed her mane back as Adam placed his hand on his hip.
“I didn’t think I would have to recheck your work, but I shall keep this in mind for next time.”
“Micromanaging tyrant!”
“You Discord-may-care layabout!”
The two Apple’s jaws both dropped open as Adam and Rarity glared at one another. A few seconds passed, but to them, it may as well have been an hour. Finally, Adam’s face broke into a smile and an even wider one appeared on Rarity’s muzzle.
“Oh darling,” Rarity said as she threw her forelegs out to hug him, “promise me you’ll never leave me.”
“You are the hook to my eye, Miss Rarity,” he replied as he pulled her into his embrace.
“And you are the glider to my zipper chain, Mister Garnet.”
“I’ll just—” Applejack stammered, flabbergasted at what she just witnessed, “I’ll just go back downstairs.” She shook her head and trotted back down the stairs, leaving a thoroughly confused stallion to deal with the scene.
“Mister Macintosh,” Rarity said as she let go of Adam, “go try on the pants once more. Adam had the foresight to bring an extra swatch of fabric, so there is more room for you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to apologize to your sister for my faux pas.”
Rarity trotted away, and when she disappeared down the stairs, Big Macintosh turned and saw that Adam was looking straight at him while fidgeting with his fingers. Adam blushed and beckoned him back into the room. Big Macintosh nodded and headed back in. When he saw the pants, he could tell immediately that they were noticeably larger than before. As he put the pants back on, he looked into the mirror and smiled when he noticed that the fabric now ruffled around his flanks instead of clinging to them like they had before. He saw Adam standing behind him and paused as the human took a few steps to stand by his side.
“Good as new.” Adam observed Rarity’s work. “Now that this whole episode is behind us,” he said as he glanced in the mirror, “I do have a question.”
“Eeyup?” Big Macintosh asked.
“What do they call the best man here?”
Big Macintosh raised an eyebrow.
“The stallion closest to the groom,” he clarified.
“Guardstallion,” Big Macintosh replied as he continued to look at the pants.
“I see.” Adam chewed on his cheek as he absorbed the word for a moment. “And why do they call them that?”
Big Macintosh turned and trotted to the door, raising his hoof to motion for Adam to follow. They made their way down the hall and the sounds of the other ponies grew louder.
“Used to be more predators here than there are now. When a mare and stallion...” He cut off his sentence with a cough.
“Consummated their love?” Adam asked with a smirk.
“Y-yeah. When they consummated, weren’t no houses to keep ‘em safe. The guardstallion’s job was to keep watch for predators.”
“That had to be awkward.”
“Eeyup. Lots of monsters, though.”
When he reached the stairs, he glanced down at the ponies as they chatted with one another, none of them realizing that he stood over them. He began to descend, but then he noticed that Adam wasn’t with him. He turned around and saw that Adam had stopped a few feet behind him.
“Somethin’ the matter?” he asked, knowing that Adam wanted to say something because he raised his hands to gesture a few times before he spoke.
“Do a lot of ponies still see us as monsters?”
“Nopony sees you as a monster,” he replied, surprised at the sudden change in subject.
Big Macintosh saw Adam clamp his hands together as his shoulders tightened. Adam’s mouth moved to speak, but no sound came out. Finally, he his grip loosened and then he took a deep breath and continued.
“I don’t mean just me. Golden Delicious is right, Big Mac. This is a big deal. This morning I—” he stopped himself and closed his eyes. “I know there are still ponies out there who think it.”
“What makes you say that?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter.” Adam sighed and looked at a photograph on the wall.
Big Macintosh smiled and walked back to Adam’s side. Even if Adam wouldn’t tell him what was wrong, he knew there was at least a way to help make it right.
“I don’t know what you saw, but remember what you said back there to Gee Dee?” he asked, “who cares what any of ‘em think? What matters is what you think.”
Adam bit his lip to hold in a laugh, then he reached out to ruffle Big Macintosh’s mane. Downstairs, they heard the voices quiet down as the front door opened. He saw Adam look over him and down to the first floor.
“It seems that Mister Waddle is requesting for everyone to head out for the ceremony.” He made his way down the stairs as the rest of the ponies filtered out through the open door. “Are you ready?”
“Eeyup,” he replied, “let’s go out there and make your sister the happiest mare in Equestria,” he said, trying to mimic Adam’s voice as best he could as they descended the stairs together. They joined the group to leave, but when they reached the door, Big Macintosh stopped once again.
“You said somethin’ back there ‘bout your ma,” he said, “you think she’s proud of Amy?”
“Oh trust me, Big Mac, if she were here, you’d know,” Adam chuckled, “she would be so happy that she found someone like Golden Delicious that she would be bawling her eyes out in the front row. She has no control when it comes to things like that.”
Adam reached out and held the door open, and a moment later, they were on their way to the barn.
“And so,” Mister Waddle said rotely from behind the podium, “if there is anypony who objects to this union between Mister Golden Delicious and Miss Amy Garnet, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
From his place next to Golden Delicious, Big Macintosh saw Mister Waddle turn over the page of the book in front of him and glance out into the crowd. He looked out into the side of the audience that held all of the members of the Apple Family; Granny Smith and Apple Rose sat next to each other, leaning on each other's shoulders to stay seated upright, while behind them sat Braeburn, whose quivering smile darted back and forth between both Golden Delicious and Amy.
He then turned to Amy, but then had to hold back a gasp—it was at that moment that the beads of her dress caught the final light of day, creating a halo around her figure. He noticed out of the corner of his eye that Rarity was smiling to herself and nodding, but then she noticed him staring at her and their eyes met, forcing Big Macintosh to turn away.
“And so,” Mister Waddle continued, “by the power vested in me, I—”
Suddenly, a sob echoed through the barn. Every pony turned their heads to the source of the sound, which turned out to be Adam, who was standing next to Amy with wet cheeks. Amy rolled her eyes, reached into the bodice of her gown, and then pulled out a tissue. Adam mouthed his thanks to her, took the tissue, and began to dab it at his eyes.
“I now pronounce you stallion and wife?” Mister Waddle continued as he lifted his head towards Amy, who closed her eyes and nodded. “You may kiss the bride.”
Big Macintosh turned to Amy, whose smile was so wide that he could even see her canines. Have a fun honeymoon Gee Dee, he chuckled to himself and lightly kicked his hind leg, glad to finally feel the extra movement. All around him, the sound of hooves stomping on the ground echoed through the barn as the newlyweds kissed. As Apple Bloom and her friends began to skip around them, they swung their heads from side to side and the basket of flower petals they held in their mouths sent their contents fluttering around the couple. He glanced back towards Adam and couldn’t help but smile as the human’s bottom lip continued to tremble.
“That there was a mighty fine weddin’,” Granny Smith said as she took a sip of cider and sat back in her rocking chair.
“Them designers sure are somethin’,” Apple Rose replied as she took a bite of pie, “the way her dress sparkled in the light like a shiny new apple.”
“Rosie, she is a shiny new Apple,” she chuckled and the squeaking of the rocking chairs stopped as the two older mares paused for a moment before breaking into a fit of laughter at the pun.
As they resumed their rocking, Granny Smith looked out into the orchard, where a stage had been set up with a sign that read ‘Fiddly Faddle and the Band’; she bobbed her head to music as the dulcet tones of the fiddle flew through the air. Strings of paper lamps stretched from tree to tree, bathing the area in soft light. A group of foals chased each other around one of the trees while most of the adults were busy laughing around the barrels of cider, but a few courageous ponies had already started to dance.
In the distance, a dirigible covered in streamers with a hoof-made sign reading ‘Just Married’ sat next to the tree that she recalled Amy telling her was where she and Golden Delicious first kissed. Granny Smith took in the scene once more as a sigh escaped from her muzzle.
“Amy’s been so helpful on the farm,” Granny Smith said, pointing to one of the trees, “nimble little creature, just climbs right up there and plucks the apples off with those hands of hers,” she snickered, “Coulda swore I even saw her leap from tree to tree once.”
“They’re good at that, ain’t they?” Apple Rose asked.
“Yeah, but we ain’t supposed to mention it to ‘em,” she replied as she took another sip, “somethin’ ‘bout bein’ compared to monkeys really sets ‘em off.”
“That’s a mite peculiar.”
The sound of the screen door opening stopped their conversation, and the two mares heard laughter behind them. Amy took a few steps and leaned against the porch column. She had changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt and Granny Smith could tell she was far more comfortable in them than the dress.
“It’s a bit complicated,” Amy said as she reached into the small ice bucket sitting next to Granny Smith and pulled out a cider bottle, “a lot of the humans will get angry.” She turned around as the screen door opened again and Golden Delicious stepped out. “I, on the other hand, am pretty sure that it was my nimbleness that helped me bag this Apple.”
Amy and the mares snickered as Golden Delicious feigned offense.
“I’ll have you know, sweetie, that I love you for many reasons besides those hands of yours. Furthermore, I—ooh.” He stopped and smiled the moment Amy’s fingers scratched his neck as his leg twitched. “Stop that.”
“Oh please,” Granny Smith said with a wink, “Back in the day, I used to make a stallion do that, too.”
“Granny Smith!” Amy gasped as Apple Rose burst into another fit of laughter.
“Oh hush,” Granny Smith replied, “Now y’all go enjoy your reception.” She waited as the couple nodded and made their way down the steps towards the crowd. “And have fun on your honeymoon!” she yelled, unable to contain her laughter as both Golden Delicious and Amy blushed furiously.
Golden Delicious shook his head and Amy began to scan the crowd. As they reached the makeshift wooden dance floor, the two waved to the ponies amidst a chorus of stomps and cheers. There was a camera flash and the two were momentarily stunned as a pegasus with a press corps badge waved to them with a smile before taking off to hover around the orchard so he could take more pictures. Before they could say anything, however, a trio of fillies galloped up to them. Amy laughed as Apple Bloom stumbled over the hem of her dress.
“Your dress was so pretty, Miss Garnet!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“Apple Bloom, she’s married now,” Sweetie Belle corrected her, “it’s Missus Delicious, now.”
“She certainly is,” Golden Delicious replied, earning him a small flick on his ear courtesy of Amy’s finger.
“Thank you, Abby,” Amy said, “do you guys know where my brother is?”
“He’s over by the stage with Miss Rarity,” Scootaloo answered as she ruffled her mane to get the product out of it so that she could return it to its natural, messy state, “is he upset? He was crying at the wedding.”
“Sometimes humans cry when they’re happy,” Amy said, “where did you say he was?”
Scootaloo’s wings buzzed, and as she hovered at chest level she pointed to the stage, where Amy finally saw her brother emerge from behind the curtain with Rarity. “Thanks. You guys have fun, now.”
“I’m going to get a drink,” Golden Delicious said, his eyes still on the pegasus with the camera, “would you like anything?”
Amy shook the now empty bottle that she held and nodded. The stallion took the bottle and headed off towards the barrels as Amy made her way to the stage, where she heard the two whispering to one another. Rarity squealed the moment she saw her and hopped from hoof to hoof.
“Oh darling,” Rarity shouted as she gave Amy a hug, “that moment was perfect! I am so happy that it was a clear evening. Do you think the press corps took a picture of dress as it glistened? Please tell me the press corps took a picture of it!”
“I could not have asked for a better designer.” She turned to Adam. “And you did great, too.”
“You’re about to be thanking me even more,” Adam replied as a grin appeared, “you know DJ Sticky Fingers?”
“The guy in Canterlot who arrived with a bunch of CDs?” she asked, “yeah.”
“Miss Rarity is one of his contacts,” he continued, “and she got him to make the sheet music for the song.”
Amy’s eyes widened.
“The song?” she asked.
“Yes. The song.” Adam replied.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” She poked Adam’s chest. “You and me are teaching these ponies the Cotton Eyed Joe.”
Before he could respond, Adam felt himself being pulled away from Rarity and onto the middle of the dance floor. He turned around, only to see Rarity waving at him with a smirk.
“Wait,” he said, “if we are doing this, we are doing this right. Where’s Applejack?”
Big Macintosh sighed as he took another sip of cider and studied the crowd. He turned to the farmhouse and watched as Amy stepped out with Golden Delicious, smiling when he saw Granny Smith say something to cause Amy’s eyes to widen. As the sounds of the fiddle filled the air, he found himself drawn to the dance floor; as he took a step forward, however, he felt the fabric rub against his legs and then he blushed, shook his head, and returned to the table to take another sip from the already warm mug. Near the other end of the stage, Big Macintosh saw Adam pull the curtain back and motion for Rarity to follow him. Wonder what they’re up to, he thought.
“Well, that was quite the ceremony,” a voice beside him said.
“Eeyup,” he replied and turned his head towards the sound of the voice, “enjoyin’ yourself, Pokey?”
“I’d be lying if I said no,” Pokey Pierce replied as he set his drink on the table and tossed his hair back to get the curls away from his horn, “those two humans are quite enchanting, in their own ways.”
“Eeyup.”
Big Macintosh found his gaze turning once more to the curtain. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amy talking with Apple Bloom and her friends, and then he saw Scootaloo pointing to the curtain where Adam had just disappeared to moments ago.
“Though it is hard to believe that they’re twins—Amy and Adam don’t seem to share anything in common. Adam hardly goes into town without either his sister or Rarity by his side.”
“Nope.”
Amy reached the curtain just as Adam and Rarity reemerged. He watched them talk to one another for a moment before he saw her dragging him towards the dance floor. When he turned back to Pokey Pierce he noticed that he, too, had been eyeing Adam intently.
“It makes it difficult to try to get to know him.” Pokey Pierce’s horn glowed and he levitated the bottle to his muzzle and sipped delicately at his drink. “Though rumor has it that Rarity is convincing him to get to know some of us better,” he finished with a smile.
“Nope,” Big Macintosh replied as he thought back to how Adam had trembled before him yesterday.
“He probably just needs somepony to help draw him out of his shell,” Pokey Pierce said as he pointed to the stage, “looks like Applejack is about to give a speech.”
Big Macintosh saw his sister silence the band and take the microphone in her hoof. He quirked an eyebrow when he noticed that she wasn’t wearing her hat. As she trotted back and forth along the stage, she smiled at the crowd.
“Howdy, everypony. First, I’d like to thank y’all for comin’ out to this here weddin’. It means a lot to us to have so many ponies here.” A bulb flashed from above, and Big Macintosh watched the press corps pegasus pull his camera back. “Now, before the couple heads off to Mareocco for their honeymoon—” She waited for the hoots and hollers to die down. “Amy and Adam have a little treat for us. They managed to bring a song down here, courtesy of DJ Sticky Fingers, all the way from Canterlot. Amy, Adam, y’all are up!”
Big Macintosh saw Amy take the the stage, but his eyes widened as Adam strolled onto the dance floor with a vest and stetson hat added to his outfit. Amy took the microphone from Applejack and started to shout.
“How are you doing, Ponyville?” she asked as she pointed out to the crowd, encouraging the ponies to cheer once more, “as I’m sure all of you know, we humans are majestic creatures.”
“Humans aren’t magical!” a voice in the crowd shouted.
“Majestic, Pinkie, not magical,” another voice corrected her.
“Thank you, Twilight!” Amy shouted to the sounds of laughter, “and thanks for the dirigible. Flying to Mareocco is going to be awesome. Anyway, my brother and I have a special dance back home that we hope you all will learn to love as much as we do.”
Adam smiled and took off his hat and waved it at the crowd. When his gaze reached Big Macintosh, he placed the hat back on his head and tipped it in his direction, causing him to blush. A tiny smile graced his muzzle.
“Do you think he would prefer the smaller stallions?” Pokey Pierce asked, the question causing Big Macintosh’s smile to disappear once more.
“I’m going to give the directions, and Adam is going to show you the moves. All right, everybody, let’s—”
“Everypony!” Pinkie Pie shouted.
“Ponies, too,” Amy replied as she blew a raspberry in Pinkie Pie’s direction, “now, here’s what we’re going to do.”
As she explained the dance steps, Big Macintosh saw Adam move across the dance floor; he crossed his legs and kicked them out and then back, then he half-galloped across the stage and turned so that his back was towards him. He then kicked his leg out and brought it back in to touch his hand to his foot and did the same thing on the other side. As he gyrated his hips and threw his arm up while pretending to hold a lasso, Big Macintosh noticed that Pokey Pierce’s eyebrow quirked. How do humans manage to bend that way, Big Macintosh thought as Adam half-galloped across the stage once more, grabbed his hat, bent over and tipped it towards the crowd, and then faced back out to face the audience.
“Okay now,” Amy said, “who among you is brave enough to try it?”
Adam looked around through the crowd and waited for the first pony to volunteer. He heard his sister leaping off of the stage to join him, and when she got to his side, he leaned in.
“Think anyone will join us?” he asked, “or will it be like mom’s second wedding?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if this stage is filled with curious ponies with the way you moved those hips of yours.”
“Hush, you.”
Adam turned his gaze to Rarity and started to beckon her onto the stage, only to be met with an incredulous stare. He heard a pair of hooves come up on stage and waited for Golden Delicious and Applejack to join them.
“All right, come on now, ponies,” Applejack yelled, “let’s show these humans what we can do with four legs!”
A few more ponies joined in, and Adam turned his attention to Big Macintosh’s table when he saw movement coming from it, only to see a pale blue unicorn getting up and heading straight towards him. He looked over to Rarity, who cocked her head to the side, but then nodded and smiled.
“Hello,” the unicorn said, holding out his hoof, “I think I could try that dance.” He waited for Adam to shake his hoof before continuing. “Although with these hooves, you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not as nimble as you are.”
“Well then, just stand next to me and Amy and we’ll help you along.” Adam looked back over to the table, only to see that Big Macintosh had left and was nowhere to be found. He turned back to the stallion and smiled.
“Oh, sorry, I’m Pokey Pierce.” He turned slowly to show Adam his cutie mark.
“A safety pin,” Adam said, “I haven’t seen that one before.” He looked over to Amy, who simply threw her arm up and pointed her finger back and forth between the two. Adam took a breath. “Stand right here, and just use both your forelegs and hind legs at the same time.”
“I’ll follow your lead,” Pokey Pierce replied with a smile.
Adam looked up to the band and gave Fiddly Faddle a thumbs up. The mare smiled, picked up her fiddle, and then turned to the band. A few stomps thudded on the stage, and the music started. Adam turned to Amy and held out his arm.
“Ready?” he asked, smiling as Amy interlocked her arm with his.
As the dance started, Adam and Amy turned to one another and whispered as they shuffled across the floor.
“A unicorn, huh?” Amy asked, “that could be fun.”
“Amy,” Adam replied as he kicked his leg out, “I told Miss Rarity that I would think about it, not that I would throw myself at the first stallion that showed interest.”
“He is the one throwing himself at you,” Amy replied as the two of them spun in a circle, “and he’s not that large. Ask him what he does.”
Adam turned to his side, only to realize too late that after spinning around, Pokey Pierce was now on Amy’s side. He threw his head in Amy’s direction.
“So, Pokey,” Amy shouted as the ponies were whooping and spinning, “What does your cutie mark mean?”
Adam and Amy spun around, and he found himself next to Pokey Pierce again.
“I run a daycare center for the ponies who have to travel to Canterlot for work,” Pokey Pierce said as his mane grazed Adam’s shoulder, “foals, mostly.”
They galloped to the side of the dance floor.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Adam said as he briefly let go of Amy’s arm to twirl his hat in the air and gyrate his hips, though he didn’t notice that Pokey Pierce nearly stumbled, “so you're a nanny? You must be good with them.”
He grabbed Amy’s arm again, and the two spun in a circle and kicked their legs out. He heard Amy shouting at the stallion, but he didn’t hear the reply. She turned to him as they let go of each other and kicked out their legs and touched their feet to their hands.
“He says that dealing with foals, you have to learn to be gentle,” she said, emphasizing the last word as she grabbed his arm.
“Amy, stop it,” Adam replied with a huff, “he did not say it like that.” Adam rolled his eyes as the two spun around and he was back at Pokey Pierce’s side.
“So,” Pokey Pierce said as he kicked out his legs in a way that caused Adam to stifle a giggle, “Ponyville hasn’t had the chance to get to know you.” He crossed his legs and then kicked them out again. “There’s a restaurant on the outskirts of town that visiting humans really like. Why don’t you come out there sometime?”
Adam let go of Amy and grabbed his hat. As he spun around and threw his arm into the air, he gave Amy a pleading look. Amy, for her part, widened her eyes and mouthed, ‘do it’. Adam tried to control his breathing as he spun around once more, causing him to turn away from Pokey Pierce; Amy spoke to the stallion and then he watched as tiny sparks emitted from Pokey Pierce’s horn. His eyes widened as Amy spun them around again.
“What did you say?” he asked.
“I told him that you would love a chance to get to know him better.”
“You can be such an ass, sometimes.”
“Oh, live a little,” she chided as the song ended.
Adam cast a glance towards the table that Big Macintosh was sitting at a few minutes before and sighed. I hope he wasn’t too upset about the pants, he thought. As the stomps and cheers around him grew louder, he felt a hoof press against his hand. He turned around and saw Pokey Pierce staring up at him.
“So it’s a date?” Pokey Pierce asked.
Adam looked once more at Amy, who simply nodded her head. He looked down and smiled at the stallion, whose tail was now wagging back and forth.
“Sure.”
“I can’t believe you’re finally leavin’,” Applejack said with a sniffle as she tightly squeezed Amy, “Seems like just yesterday you arrived, and now here you are, part of the family.”
“I know,” Amy wheezed, “can barely breathe.” She let go of Applejack, who leaned back and blushed. “We’ll send you a postcard.”
“Did you get everything set for the barn?” she asked.
“Don’t worry,” Amy replied, “I left the organization instructions on my desk—anyone can understand them.”
Applejack nodded and turned to walk away, only to feel herself wrapped tightly in another hug from behind.
“Love you, girl,” Amy whispered, “thanks for everything.” Amy finally let go of the mare and waved Big Macintosh over, who slowly approached and accepted her hug. “Mac, you keep an eye on this one.” Amy pointed to Granny Smith, who responded by reaching out and flicking Golden Delicious with her hoof.
“And you best take care of Amy,” she cackled as Golden Delicious closed his eyes and sighed, “no tellin’ what trouble she’ll get into ‘cross the water.”
Amy shook her head and turned to the gangplank. She took a few steps to where Adam stood with his arms folded. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Amy smiled softly to him, snickering when she noticed his eyes watering. She placed her hands on his elbows and pulled him close.
“You take care of yourself, bro,” Amy said, “everything is going to be fine. Just give them a chance.”
“It’s not that,” Adam whispered as he turned his head away and sniffled, “this is it—you’re really going to be gone. When you get back, you’ll be going to Phillydelphia.” He reached up to wipe his eyes.
“Hey now,” she replied, “we’re Apples now, and Apples never fall far from the tree.”
“You’d better watch those puns,” Adam said as he tried to smirk, “that always leads to us humans saying everypony like the others.”
“Bite your tongue.” Amy pulled him close. “I love you, Adam.”
“I love you, too, Amy.” Adam finally let go. “Now you go have fun on your honeymoon with Golden, Missus Delicious.”
Amy gave Adam a playful punch on the shoulder and began to ascend the gangplank. Adam rubbed his shoulder and continued to watch her until she turned around and leaned on the railing.
“Honey,” she called down, “you ready?”
“Sure thing, sweetie.”
Adam saw the top of Golden Delicious’ mane as he started to trot up the gangplank, and he quickly reached out to grab the stallion’s shoulder. Golden Delicious stopped and slowly turned up to his gaze.
“I know we haven’t had a chance to get to know each other,” Adam said with a quiver in his voice, “but I’ll say it again—I know Amy loves you.” He leaned in close and tried to make his voice sound as gruff as possible. “Take care of her.” He squeezed his grip.
Golden Delicious smiled and placed a hoof on Adam’s hand. “I promise, on my honor as a stallion, that I will love Amy until the day I die.”
Adam felt Golden Delicious shiver slightly, at which point he realized that he was still gripping him tightly. He took a quick inhale and let the stallion go, shrinking back when he saw Golden Delicious rub his shoulder with his hoof.
“For such soft hands, you got a really tight grip. You look small, but I can tell not to cross you.” He tilted his head as Adam’s eyes widened. “You take care, now, brother.”
Golden Delicious waited for a moment and then trotted up the gangplank, giving Adam the chance to slowly untie the rope; he watched as the dirigible slowly rose into the night sky. Adam turned around—behind him, the crowd of ponies held onto the paper lanterns that had been strung up around the stage and dance floor. As the dirigible rose higher into the air, the ponies, one by one, let go of the lanterns—the hot air inside of them lifted each one into the sky and surrounded the newlyweds. The light from one of the lanterns shone on Amy’s face, and Adam saw her cover her mouth and then wave to him, tears streaming down her face. She raised her other hand and threw something down into the crowd of ponies, but it wasn’t until it was inches away from them that Adam noticed it was the bouquet.
“Mwa ha ha,” he heard Rarity shout out from somewhere in the crowd.
As Adam watched the dirigible grow smaller, he heard the sound of hooves behind him trotting away. The lanterns floated off into the distance until they looked like fireflies, then like stars, and then they finally faded completely. Now, the only sound Adam could hear was the wind as it blew through the trees. Even though the wind was warm, Adam couldn’t help but shiver. Something brushed against his side; he looked down and smiled when he saw a familiar patch of blonde mane before turning his gaze back to the sky.
“Adam,” Big Macintosh said, “you've been out here for a while. Everypony’s gone.”
“Yes, I know she is,” Adam replied, not looking down.
“You okay?” he asked, not wanting to correct him.
Adam glanced once more at the now empty sky, then he turned and made his way to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres with Big Macintosh close by his side.
“I’ll be fine,” he replied.
“Walk you to the gate?”
Adam looked down and smiled softly to Big Macintosh.
“I’d like that.”
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I lol'd.
Mmmmm, such delicious world-building! And you better look out, Mac. Ole Pokey is trying to... horn in on your man.
Eh?
Eh?
...
Oh, screw you all...
5768431 oh, Pokey is just confident in himself. Oh, I'm so excited for the next chapter.
5768655 thank you. The plan is for an update every Sunday afternoon.
I've been wondering if there was any gay human in equestria, glad I finally see one.
5770431 I fully intend for it to be a series, actually. You are right; there is a distinct lack of human x stallion m/m on the site.
“That’s a might peculiar" should be, "That's a mite peculiar."
A "mite" is a small amount.
5770801 I always thought it was "might" as in "it is mighty peculiar" like it was very peculiar. So help me, I will go right up to my ninety-four year old granny from Kentucky and tell her what for.
Seriously, though, give me a day and I will look into that.
5770709 I've been considering the potential for a Displaced story with some shipping between (redeemed) Sombra and the (male) human in question, though the human has been transplanted into the body of one of his 3rd Edition D&D characters.
Does it count if the human isn't entirely human anymore?
5770431 Well, this one is weird, but oddly enthralling, and this one shows a lot of promise.
And there're this and this to keep you highly entertained in the meantime.
5770992 it is important to remember that D&D and MLP follow two ideologies. It is possible for a redeemed Sombra to be similar to Cecil from Final Fantasy 4, insofar as he conquered darkness by facing his demoms, however.
5770992
Gah, so many!
Thanks...
5771020 Odd that you should mention "facing his demons"...
5771258 Only the first two are M/M. The other two are just hilariously amusing.
Well, this was lovely. The whole "serious business" with the pants was very entertaining, the wedding and aftermath was d'aww-worthy, and the potential for a love triangle is strong. Curious to see where you take that.
I do have one question, though. Are humans generally stronger than ponies? Golden seems like he's a bit fearful of Adam.
Oh, and by the way.
Now a human needs to be seen breakdancing, causing the nearby ponies, or at least Big Mac, to shit bricks.
5772389 It wasn't so much that he was stronger, just that he didn't realize how tightly he was gripping Golden's shoulder. I added a sentence afterward to give slightly more context.
Oooh damn. I think Mac's a bit infatuated already, even if he doesn't want to admit it.
Watch out, Mac, Pokey's moving in!
Great chapter! Can I say again how much I love Adam and Amy? The departure scene nearly brought a tear to my eye. You're doing great with the emotions in here.
Keep up the good work!