... and all awesome!
Griffon it Another Try
"What's Queen Mean doing here?" Pinkie Pie asked Rainbow Dash. The question was directed to the pegasus, but she stared sidelong at Gilda with her head slightly tilted. Her posture and expression were somewhere between questioning and hostile. There was a tense moment while the three of them stood under one of the trees of Sweet Apple Acres, shaded from the early autumn sun that illuminated the grassy field around them.
"Excuse you?" Gilda broke the silence with an offended tone in her voice.
"I said, what are you doing here?" Pinkie Pie repeated herself, aiming her question at the griffon this time. "'Cause I'm here to buy some apples to make apple cinnamon muffins. Oh! Are you here for apples, too? I'd watch out if I were you. Applejack doesn't take kindly to thieves, and she's got an awfully strong buck." Pinkie Pie leaned in a bit closer to Gilda, faux-conspiratorially. "Miiiight wanna steer clear of her."
"Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash facehoofed, looking exasperated.
Gilda narrowed her eyes, staring at Pinkie. "I work here, for your information," she snapped. "Speaking of which..." She turned to face Rainbow Dash. "Look, my break's almost over, and Applejack expects a full day's work for what she pays. No slackin' off. I gotta get back to it. Catch ya later, Dash."
"Yeah." Rainbow Dash nodded. "We'll hang out later after you're done, G."
"Cool." Gilda turned and started walking away. She looked back over her shoulder briefly as she went, shooting a glare at Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash stayed where they were in the shade, watching the griffon leave.
"Gee, thanks, Pinkie," Dash said sarcastically after Gilda had gone. "I totally wasn't trying to have a conversation with my friend or anything there."
"What?" Pinkie Pie asked obliviously.
"What do you mean 'what'? You're just gonna call flat out her a thief like that?" Rainbow Dash gave Pinkie Pie a dirty look. "Seriously?"
"Well, she is. She stole an apple the last time I saw her in Ponyville," Pinkie Pie said. "Never gave it back or anything!"
"Last time she was in Ponyville?" Dash asked incredulously. "That was forever ago."
"Well, it still happened," Pinkie Pie said. "She was mean, and a thief, and a bully. And she called you a lame flip flop, remember? Which you're SO not."
"You don't..." Rainbow Dash sighed. She held up one hoof and shook her head. "Just... nevermind. I have some cloud busting I should get on top of, anyway. I gotta go too."
"Oh. Okay. See you later, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie turned and started cantering back towards town, with her usual cheerful spring in her step. Rainbow Dash watched her leave, letting out an annoyed huff before taking off into the sky to get back to work herself.
It was a slow time of day for Sugarcube Corner when Rainbow Dash walked in, the lull that came after lunch when nopony was hungry. She looked around the mostly empty bakery and saw Pinkie Pie standing behind the counter, arranging various pastries and other treats in the display case.
"Hey Dashie!" Pinkie Pie looked up and greeted her when she approached. "You wanna try one of the apple cinnamon muffins I just made? Fresh from the oven, still warm."
"Hmm... sounds good, but maybe later," Dash said. "I really came here to talk to you, Pinkie."
"Oh? What about?"
"Can we go sit down for a second?" Rainbow Dash asked. She gestured to one of the numerous currently empty tables.
Pinkie Pie glanced around the shop. There were no customers waiting, just the two of them. "Alright," she agreed and walked out from behind the counter. Rainbow Dash led the way as both ponies headed to a nearby table next to a window and sat down on opposite sides, facing each other.
"So..." Pinkie Pie slowly rolled one forehoof in the air. "What did you want to talk about?"
"It's about the way you treated Gilda earlier today," Rainbow Dash said. "Look, it's been bothering me. I get that there was some friction way back when. I totally do. I don't blame you for not liking her again right away. But she doesn't need to be hassled like that right now, and what you said was over the line, Pinks. I mean, you can't just walk right up to her there where she works and accuse her of stuff like that!"
"It's not like it wasn't true!" Pinkie Pie protested.
"Maybe a long time ago it was," Rainbow Dash said. "You saw what you saw. Fine. I'm not gonna sit here and try to pretend that she's perfect, 'cause we all know she isn't. Do you think that maybe you could let the past be in the past, though? What about a second chance?"
"Maybe if she earns it." Pinkie waved in a dismissive gesture. "Right now I just don't understand how the meanest, nastiest, no-good-est griffon like her is working for the best, hard-working-est, most dependable pony like Applejack."
"Umm, Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash began.
Pinkie Pie just kept talking. "It's like, doesn't the Apple family--"
Rainbow Dash reared up suddenly, planting her forehooves on the table and staring down at Pinkie Pie with an irritated look. "Do you want to know why she's in Ponyville, working on Applejack's farm?" she asked in a severe tone.
Pinkie Pie looked up at Rainbow Dash, silent after the outburst, and blinked a couple times. "Okay, why?" she asked.
"Because I got her that job," Rainbo Dash said. "Every applebuck season, Applejack hires a few pegasus field workers to fly up into her apple trees to help pick the stragglers that didn't drop. It's just a temporary seasonal thing, but I thought it'd be perfect for what Gilda needs right now. She's... going through kind of a tough time, Pinkie. It's never really been easy for her, being a griffon living in a pony city. There's always been a few ponies who haven't been very nice to her, but never like this. Lately it's been pretty bad."
"What happened?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"I don't really wanna get into it, to be honest," Rainbow Dash said. "It's kinda personal. Let's just say she's learned a few lessons the hard way and it's taken her down a couple pegs. Long story short, she's pretty much been hounded out of Cloudsdale and it's been tough for someone like her to find work. She really needed to get away from that for a while, so she's crashing with me 'till things cool off. I talked to Applejack and convinced her to let Gilda work on the harvest to give her something to do and help her get back on her feet again."
"So after the way she treated us, you asked her to come back here?" Pinkie Pie asked critically.
"Yeah, that's what I just said," Rainbow Dash replied. "She's stressed out and I just thought Ponyville would be a friendlier place than where she was. I know ponies are gonna have their doubts about her after last time. She made mistakes. I really didn't want her to treat my new friends the way she did, believe me. But, y'know, two wrongs don't make a right, and I also don't want that to be how my new friends treat my old friends. Gilda's important to me, Pinkie. Her outside might be a little rough, but inside, there's good things too. She's really not bad. She's always stood by me when things were tough, even when nopony else would. I owe her at least that much."
"Well... what do you want from me?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"An apology would be nice, for one," Rainbow Dash said.
"What?!" Pinkie Pie threw her hooves up. "But I didn't--"
"Hey, I know I can't make you, not if it wouldn't be real," Rainbow Dash said softly. She reached up and gently put a hoof on Pinkie Pie's shoulder. "But if you could, it'd mean a lot to me, Pinkie. Things are different now. She's not who she was back then. I think she's learned better. Give her a second chance."
Pinkie Pie looked back at Rainbow Dash with a torn expression on her face. Neither of them moved for a brief but heavy moment of silence, until the sound of the door opening broke it and two ponies walked in.
Rainbow Dash glanced at the two new arrivals. "I'm gonna get going." She turned and started walking to the door. "Just think about it, 'kay?"
Pinkie Pie said nothing, but didn't look quite as bouncy as usual while she headed back up to the front display case to help serve the waiting customers.
"...And then Rainbow Dash was all, 'I don't want that to be how my new friends treat my old friends'!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, trotting with agitation as she paced alongside Twilight Sparkle, who was taking a leisurely walk down one of Ponyville's streets and enjoying the warm sunny autumn day.
"Well--" Twilight started.
"It was just like what Dashie said when she told Gilda off, only in reverse," Pinkie Pie cut her off. "And that's totally not fair, 'cause it's not the same. Gilda was being mean for no reason. All I did was say something I know is true because I saw it." She stomped the ground with one hoof for emphasis.
"Did you--" Twilight tried again.
"And Rainbow Dash wants me to say I'm sorry and give her another chance. Can you believe that?" Pinkie Pie spoke over Twilight again. "I mean, maybe that makes sense for Dashie, because she's got so much loyalty and all. She says Gilda's changed now, but I keep thinking, what if she really hasn't and she's just being a big fibbing fibber fibbypants and it's all an act, and once everypony thinks she's nice it's gonna be all, POW!! right when nopony expects it?"
"Isn't--"
"But wait!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. She half-closed one eye and rubbed her chin in thought. "Why is she working at Sweet Apple Acres? Applejack's all about honesty and she knows a lie when she hears one. She only lets good ponies and good... other things... work for her, so if Applejack believed her enough that she was willing to hire her to work on the farm..." Pinkie Pie gasped, wide-eyed with sudden realization. "Maybe that means she is telling the truth! Ohmygosh! I really do have to give her another chance, don't I?" She looked down at the ground, a fretting expression on her face.
"I suppose." Twilight nodded calmly.
"Wow, our talk really cleared things up," Pinkie Pie said. "I never saw it that way before. Thanks so much, Twilight. You're so smart." Without waiting for a response, Pinkie Pie took off at a full gallop and rapidly disappeared into the distance, kicking up a thin trail of dust and leaving her companion alone on the road.
"You're welcome," Twilight said softly, and smiled slowly while she rolled her eyes. "Glad to help." She shook her head a little and continued walking, taking a deep breath and enjoying the way the air, though still warm, was just starting to take on that scent of autumn crispness.
Pinkie Pie walked through the fields of Sweet Apple Acres at a pace and level of excitement that would have been unremarkable for any other pony but seemed downright somber for her, replacing the usual pronking bounce with contemplative measured hoofsteps. She was slowly, almost timidly, approaching a well where Gilda, taking a moment to rest from the morning's hard work, was getting a drink of water.
"Aww, great," Gilda mumbled, looking up and noticing the approaching pink pony. "What're you doing here again? Applejack's over by the barn, if you're looking to buy more apples."
"I'm not looking for Jackie." Pinkie Pie shook her head.
"Then what are you looking for, uhh... Pinkie Pie, was it?" Gilda asked.
"Mmm-hmm." Pinkie Pie smiled a little bit and nodded as the griffon remembered her name. "I need to talk to you."
"Oh yeah?" Gilda waited, looking cautiously curious.
"Okay, first, I want to say I'm sorry about yesterday," Pinkie Pie began, a little shyly. "I was wrong. I don't think you're a thief and that's something mean that I know I shouldn't have said."
"Oh." Gilda looked surprised. "Alright. That's cool, I guess."
"And also, I know that you're someone important in Rainbow Dash's life, and she's a friend who's important to me, too. It's never fun when somepony gets caught in the middle between two friends who don't like each other, and I don't want to do that to Dashie," Pinkie Pie said. "It's a lot easier when all your friends can get along."
"Yeah, it is," Gilda agreed.
"So I was thinking about all that, and I realized something," Pinkie Pie said. "The truth is, I only said what I did because I was being too much of a judging judgmentalpants about the past, and not trying at all to see how things really are now and give you a fair chance. That's not good, because I'd rather have a new friend than an old enemy. So I'd like to ask for a favor. Can we forget all that old stuff, and just start over? Like new?"
Gilda looked surprised again for a second, then rolled her eyes in thought, mulling things over. "Well, okay, yeah, I... I guess," she finally said with a shrug. "What do I got to lose?"
Pinkie Pie did a little hop and clapped her forehooves together, a delighted smile on her face. "Alright! Starting fresh in three... two... one... aaaaand GO!"
There was calm for a moment as Pinkie Pie stood motionless with a neutral expression on her face, staring off at nothing. She blinked once, then looked at Gilda and smiled. "Hi there!" she said cheerfully. "My name's Pinkie Pie! Who're you?"
"Uhh... name's Gilda," the griffon said, playing along.
"You're neat looking." Pinkie Pie said. "What are you?"
"I'm a griffon," Gilda said.
"What's a griffon?" Pinkie Pie asked.
A friendly smile slowly spread across Gilda's face. She tilted her head back and puffed out her chest, assuming a proud and regal bearing. "Half eagle, half lion... and all awesome!"
"That is so cool!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "Ooh! You know what we should do? Have a party to welcome you to town!"
Gilda looked at Pinkie Pie askance with one eyebrow raised. "No pranks this time?"
"No, of course not, silly!" Pinkie Pie waved one hoof. "Hey, what kind of cake do you like?"
"Well..." Gilda thought for a moment. "I kinda got a thing for chocolate."
"That's great!" Pinkie Pie grinned. "Because I work at a bakery in town called Sugarcube Corner and we've got a recipe for an abso-tively, posi-lutely amazing double chocolate cake. It makes a great 'Welcome to Ponyville' treat, if you're interested."
"You know what, Pinkie Pie?" Gilda smiled and put one front leg around the pony's shoulders. "I think we're gonna get along juuuuust fine."
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- EloquenceInkwell · 2.4k words · 76 2 · 1.4k views
- Rocket · 1.6k words · 80 4 · 4.7k views
- An-Twan Star · 15k words · 56 0 · 1.9k views
- Exilo · 6k words · 31 9 · 1.6k views
- KillerRobotQuote · 3k words · 80 1 · 1.2k views
- Winston · 109k words · 105 3 · 1.2k views
- ObabScribbler · 29k words · 47 3 · 1.9k views
- BronyBrozly · 3.4k words · 47 5 · 2.8k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.105 seconds
Total duration
959 users online
491,023 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
YES! Gilda is best one shot character.
5737425
I've been wanting to write something with her for a while, and I got my chance here.
Yep.
^_^
It's a rare time where I see a fic in my feed that was just released and I decide to drop everything and read it right away. 99% of the time I'll just mark it "Read Later" and then forget about it for a few months until I feel like reading a fic again. And then I'll look in my folder and read ONE fic, but there's tons in there. So I don't often read really good fics like I should. Well...
Winston, after what happened last time, where Seashell got so buried in my "Read Later" list that I didn't read it for a half of a year, I'm not taking that chance with any of your stories ever again. You're one of the best writers on this website, and it's a crime that you don't have the amount of followers you deserve. Here I am, sitting in a restaraunt and waiting for a table when I randomly check my feed and see your new fic. I disregarded it at first until I saw it was specifically from YOU, at which time I immediately read it. And just like every other time I've read your work, I am blown away.
Your characters are so real, and the story is just so good. The conflict even fits and makes sense within Pinkie Pie's character growth, and above and beyond, there's no major details that tell us what time setting this story is in. As an example, you could have said briefly at one point that Twilight shuffled her wings or something, automatically meaning this has to be post season three. But you didn't. This means this character growth for Pinkie Pie is even more real, because it could be happening back in season one or two, when the mane six were still discovering what they truly meant to one another.
And on top of this, your story is just super cute. It's the kind of story that I think could be an actual episode in the show, and that is just a special kind of story that is just ... I don't know. I don't really have words to describe it. You get what I mean though, I think. It's just super cute!
I look forward with immense joy to the next story you write, Winston. Have a good day!
Good on ya, man. I always love the stories where she's forgiven~
5738103 i love gilda stories, but most never feel long enough. I love watching characters like gilda and trixie and even Sunset Get knocked down for what they cause, and trying to get up, stumble then being helped to their feet/hooves by someone then reconcile with the ones they wronged.
5737425
Agreed! Gilda is best
ponygriffon.5739016 *Bro-claw.... I think that's how it works*
5737608 Thanks so much for all your kind words. I'm really glad you like the story.
It's actually my first time writing either Gilda or Pinkie Pie, so it was a learning experience for me as an author, especially since Pinkie Pie is the character I felt like I have the least understanding of how to write out of the mane 6. I worried quite a bit that I wouldn't be able to do it convincingly.
Good catch on noticing the lack of distinct time markers - that was a thing I very deliberately avoided while I was writing for exactly the reasons you said. The feel of an episode, and one from earlier in the series (maybe season two or so) was definitely what I was going for, since this was an entry for the Everfree Northwest 2015 pre-con writing contest. Achieving that kind of cute "episode" feel was helped a lot by leaving out specific time indicators as well as by the 3,000 word limit on entries - it didn't leave a lot of time for going off on tangents exploring moral quandaries and internal monologue and stuff like that. I had to figure out how to examine the conflict while keeping the pace moving through the story and close it up in a thematically suitable conclusion without running out of space. I was concerned that it might leave too bare of a narrative, but looking at it when it was finished, I had just enough to say everything that the story needed and I'm really happy with how it worked out.
Thanks again, and you have a good day too!
Well written story you have here! Totally awesome moral, conventions are great, and characters are in-character. Good job!
5739655
Well you certainly accomplished your goal. Your story reads as well as swimming through silk. ^_^
Now, at the time I read it and commented and all that stuff yesterday, like I said I was at a restaurant, which meeeans mobile phone. -_- I was unable to favorite the story because of that. Or it might have been because my friends showed up and distracted me. >_> Either way! Have the well deserved favorite now. You more than earned it. If I could follow you again, I would.
5740879 Thanks! Glad you liked it.
Nicely done! I always like a good Gilda story!
Nicely done! Good luck in the contest! :)
5781013 Thanks! Good luck to you as well.
Finished reviewing your story for the Goodfic Bin. I'm happy to let this one in.
Details are here.
Good luck with that contest, too.
5781873 Thank you for the acceptance and the review. I agree, it's a little short, out of necessity. Maybe an expanded cut for after the contest could be an idea.
5781948 I know the feeling, I'm in that contest too. 3K words is a bit restrictive. In any case, good luck!
Hello! I'll be judging this piece for the contest, so let's see what we've got.
5793596 Thanks! I'm looking forward to it.
Had gotten about halfway through this before, but hadn't finished it until now. I liked it! Felt very FiM-ey, like it could be an episode.
As far as criticism, it could've been a bit more meaty, say with Gilda needing to grow a bit throughout the story WHILE Pinkie learned to give a second chance. Would've been cute to see Gilda fighting back her old, awful self/intincts in oder to be the person she wants to be.
That said, a concept like that would've taken up a lot more words, and I think this works in the span of a short Slice-of-Life story.
Nicely done!
I'm not a huge Gilda fan and it's obvious (and I see in the comments that it was the case) that the word limit was troublesome for you. It was for me too. However, you hit all the right notes and got Pinkie dead on and let Dash do the explaining instead of forcing it into bald exposition and made Gilda easier to sympathize with while preserving her slightly gruff character as well (instead of making her go totally 180 and ultra repentant). I enjoyed it a lot, so I'll be adding it to my list of recommendations for the Community Choice award!
Good luck in the competition! :)
5827829
Thanks!
Yes, the word limit made me choose what I was going to include and how to do it by showing instead of resorting to telling. I think it's the kind of challenge that helps me become a better writer, though, so it was an interesting one to take on.
Sweet story! And some super-clever and adoracute Pinkie Pie moments to boot! Well played, Sir, well played.
Official EFNW Pre-Con Contest final round review
First of all, you should be proud you made it this far; that means you're in the top 10%.
Where this story does shine a bit is in Pinkie's antics, which are both classic Pinkie and fresh. This isn't some 'random for the sake of random' Pinkie, this is her doing new, funny things that only she could do. That said... I couldn't really get into it. Maybe it was how the prose was often a bit dry and sometimes redundant, or the pacing too fast with too little detail, or just that the plot was so straightforward and predictable. (And I do have to take the fact that double hyphens were used in place of dashes into account... What can I say? I'm a traditionalist.) But still, not bad. It's probably a better Gilda redemption story than mine was.
You know, after watching The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone, I find this story very ironic. Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
I think ocalhoun gave a better review than I did, which is a bit scary! But it's about time you had the like I owe you, since (despite inevitably having been overtaken by canon) this is a cute little fic.
6739747 Thank you!