Flash Sentry and Twilight Sparkle dance around their feelings for each other, but they along with Twilight's friends are faced with a difficult task when Legendary Shadow Ponies begin invading Equestria at the Behest of the Shadow Queen. Can Twilight sparkle Use her abilities to put an end to the attack of the Shadow Queen or will Equestria fall to an even deeper darkness then that promised by Nightmare Moon?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was pretty well done. Perhaps a bit corny that in the sense that Flash has been mooning for her all along since before the events of season 1, but maybe it ain't that unusual that the protegee of Princess Celestia would catch the eye of many, Flash among them, and the rest was history.
One thing that was somewhat odd though was seeing Twilight invoking Luna's name for courage - if Twilight were to call upon anyone for emotional reasons, it would probably be Celestia (or Cadence, if she was going for thematically appropriate).
Other than that, you did a pretty good job at establishing the premise and conveying Flash's thoughts given how short this was, and the amusing reflection of Twilight's feelings in the end serve as a nice setup for the conversation they are about to have in near future.
And yeah, I said setup - because with the way you ended this story, it doesn't really feel complete and all but begs for a "part 2" that ties up and gives closure to the inner feelings expressed expressed here.
I liked this. It needs some serious clean up to fix the typos and grammatical mistakes, but the cadence and framework of it all works well. This would be fairly easy to continue, any plans to do so?
5737173 first of all thank you for your comment :) I know the idea is a bit corny but, I'm a sucker for it.
For twilight calling to Luna, I actually felt it was appropriate for a few reasons, the first being, Night is Lunas domain. a time of dreams and wishes, and since admitting to flash her feelings is a sort of dream, she'd need Courage from Luna rather then celestia.
To be honest I got that feeling to while I was finishing it I was thinking that it did feel finished, their story isn't over.
5738349 I've never been particularly skilled with Grammar I do my best but I apologize for my mistakes.
Thinking about it yes I think I will continue the story, their not ready to let me go just yet *Laughs*
I got bored at the prologue.
OHMYGODEVERYTHINGISJUSTSOCUTE- I. Love. This. Chapter.
THE CUTENESS WILL NEVER END.
I swear.... I will burst if i don't read more :P
But in all seriousness- Chapter was good. apart from miss spelling 'Dareing do' wrong that one time- it was perfect. It has potential- i see it and know it and feel it. Keep up the good work
5953186 I'm sorry I guess it's simply not the story for you then, But thank you for trying to read it :)
Nice work so far. I'm loving the chemistry between Flash and Twilight. And the plot's looking pretty decent too.