Daring Do and the Tiny Tornado

by Metool Bard

Dangerously Hilarious

"Hmm. I'm sure he was back here somewhere..."

Tailspin tapped her chin thoughtfully as she flew across the vast desert. Her eyes scanned the ground, looking for any sort of trail she could follow. After a bit of flying, she spotted a set of tracks left by what appeared to be a monkey's paw. She smirked.

"Ah-ha! Gotcha," she said. "Now I just need to follow this and—"

"Tailspin!"

Tailspin jerked up and spun around as soon as her name was called. She then swallowed when she saw Daring Do flying towards her with a disappointed frown on her face.

"O-oh! H-hey, Dare!" Tailspin said nervously. "I-I guess you saw him too, huh?"

Daring folded her forelegs. "Tailspin, I understand you're less than thrilled about this breezie safari. But that doesn't mean you get to act like a spoiled brat about it. You're not a child; I shouldn't have to treat you like one."

"B-b-but Dare, I saw him!" Tailspin exclaimed. "He's out here in the desert!"

Daring raised an eyebrow. "Who is?"

"Ahuizotl!"

Daring deadpanned. "Seriously? You really think I'm going to fall for that, Tailspin? Last time I fought Ahui, I completely destroyed his fortress. There's no way he'd bounce back from something like that. At least not this quickly."

"I'm not joking, Dare! I saw him with my own two eyes!" Tailspin insisted. "Look, there are even tracks here!"

She pointed with her hoof at the tracks in the sand. Daring kneeled down and looked at them with a critical eye while Recon poked his head out of her pocket.

"Well, I'll give you this much, Tailspin," said Daring, furrowing her brow. "Those are some pretty unusual tracks for this region of Equestria."

"Exactly! Which means we should go investigate, right?!" Tailspin asked hopefully.

Daring sighed and massaged the bridge of her nose with her hoof. "Tailspin, you do realize that this is exactly what I didn't want to deal with on my vacation, right?"

"I, suppose," said Tailspin sheepishly. "But if Ahuizotl has come back, you can't just ignore it, can you?"

"That's assuming that this is Ahuizotl we're dealing with, which I highly doubt."

"How do you know it's not Ahuizotl?"

"I don't know, how do you know it is him?"

Tailspin gulped. "I-I saw his silhouette from the stagecoach..."

"And that's seriously all you're going on?" inquired Daring. "We're in a desert, Tailspin. And in deserts, there are these little things called 'mirages.' You can't always trust what you see out here. And before you say anything, I've travelled through my fair share of deserts. I think I know what I'm talking about."

"W-well, how do you explain the tracks then?!" Tailspin fired back, pointing at the footprints in the sand.

Daring opened her mouth to respond, but found that she didn't have much of a retort. "Touché, Tailspin."

Tailspin gave Daring a smug grin. "So, we're gonna go investigate now, right?"

"Don't get cocky, kid. I'm still mad at you," Daring said sternly. "Look, let's just see where this trail leads. If it turns out not to be Ahui, we're heading back to the safari."

"But what if it is him?" asked Tailspin.

Daring sighed and rolled her eyes. "Let's just cross that bridge if we get to it, Tailspin. I find that's always the best approach. Now c'mon. I don't want to be out here any longer than I have to be. This is supposed to be my vacation, after all."

With that, Daring flew on ahead. As Tailspin followed, she noticed Recon climb up onto Daring's pith helmet just to give her the evil eye. Tailspin groaned.

"I didn't ask for your opinion," she growled.

***

After combing the desert for a while, Daring stopped in midair and held up her hoof.

"What? Why are we stopping here?" asked Tailspin.

Daring said nothing, but instead pointed with her hoof. Up ahead, there were a few tufts of grass scattered throughout the desert. These tufts were decorated by wild flowers. And from the flowers, there was a collection of small voices accompanied by a flurry of wings. One by one, tiny creatures emerged from the flowers, each carrying a pair of baskets filled with golden pollen. Daring smiled.

"Well, whaddya know? We got to the breezies first," she said, dipping her voice.

Tailspin deadpanned. "Seriously, Dare? We're stopping our hunt for Ahuizotl to look at some ruddy—"

"Shh!" Daring hissed. "We don't want to startle them."

Tailspin groaned. "Dare, doesn't it bug you just a little bit that your greatest archenemy is running loose?"

"We still don't know that for sure, Tailspin," said Daring. "Look, just relax. There's nothing to worry abou—"

No sooner had she said that than a large creature pounced on the breezies. The breezies shrieked and tried to scatter, but not before one of them was snatched up by the apelike creature. Tailspin snorted.

"See, Dare? I wasn't hallucinating! That's really Ahuizotl!" she exclaimed. "Let's go get him!"

"Tailspin, no. That is a terrible i—"

"Oy, Ahuizotl! Drop that breezie!"

Tailspin rushed up to the creature and struck a fighting stance. Daring let out an exasperated groan and smacked her forehead while Recon did the same.

"You just never listen, do you?" Daring muttered to herself.

When she looked up, she couldn't help but stare in confusion. The creature had turned around, revealing itself. At first glance, it looked just like Ahuizotl. The same blue fur; the same prehensile tail with the paw at the end; even the same eyes. But this creature appeared to be a lot older, and it wore a heavy application of makeup and lipstick; something that Daring would never associate with the likes of Ahuizotl. Tailspin stifled a laugh.

"Sheesh, mate. I knew you'd be taking your last defeat pretty hard, but you look like you just went over the deep end," said she.

The Ahuizotl-esque creature snorted. "And what is that supposed to mean?" it asked. Unlike Ahuizotl's smooth, cultured tongue, this creature appeared to have a screechy feminine voice.

"Don't play games with me, Ahuizotl," Tailspin snarled. "I know it's you under that disguise. The game's over, and you lost."

The creature laughed. "My, my. Such bold words for such a stupid little pony. Who do you think you are, Daring Do?"

"No, that would be me."

The creature's eyes went wide as it saw Daring flying in and standing with Tailspin. She then glared and pointed an accusatory finger.

"You," she snarled. "I knew you'd come. Was humiliating my son not good enough for you?! All he wants is to make his mother proud, and you always have to come along and—"

"Hang on, hang on, hang on. Back up," said Daring, holding up her hoof. "You're Ahuizotl's mother?"

"Of course I am! Hasn't my son ever mentioned me?! The great Atotoztli II?!" the creature barked.

Daring rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Um, no. No, he hasn't."

Atotoztli II scowled. "He hasn't? Ugh, that boy of mine. Always willing to flaunt his own ego, but he never acknowledges his own flesh and blood. I mean, sure I'm not empress anymore, but I'm the one who discovered the dark magic of the great Quetzalcoatl Empress in the first place! But does he ever credit me? Nooooo, of course not! It's always about him, him, him. What about his dear old mother, hmm? I always write him, but he never responds. Well, he does, but all he feels like doing is complaining. It's always 'Daring Do foiled my latest plan,' or 'I would've succeeded if it wasn't for Daring Do,' or 'Do you think you can lend me some gold? I normally wouldn't ask, but Daring Do set me back a bit.' I suppose it runs in the family. I remember drifting away from my father when I was his age to pursue my own ambitions, but even so—"

"Yeah, I'm beginning to see why Ahui doesn't talk about you all that much," said Daring, cutting across Atotoztli II. "Anyway, what the heck are you doing here?"

Atotoztli II narrowed her eyes. "What makes you think I'd tell you? I know my son tends to run his mouth when it comes to his evil schemes, but with age comes wisdom, and I refuse to tell you a single thing! You won't get a word out of me, you hear? Not a single solitary word! I've learned my lesson, just as my son will when he gets to be my age. At least I hope he does. He'd better not stray down the same path as his brother Tizoc, may he rest in peace. Not that my dear Ahuizotl ever looked up to Tizoc in any way, mind you, but a mother sometimes has to worry about these things. Rest assured, I wouldn't be out here breaking my back like this if Tizoc was the one who needed to get back on his feet. That boy always got what he deserved. I don't mean to disrespect the dead or anything, but when you try to blatantly steal from a dragon's nest on a dare, you can't expect to get away with it without some sort of—"

"Hold on, back up," Daring interrupted. "You said that you're out here trying to avenge Ahuizotl?"

Atotoztli II blinked. "Did I? I don't remember saying that. If I did, that would ruin the whole pl— Oh, rats!"

Daring clamped her hooves over her mouth, trying to hold back her laughter. "I-I'm really starting to see the resemblance here. You really are your son's mother," she snickered.

"W-well, I'm not telling you any more than that!" Atotoztli II snapped. "You won't ruin me like you've ruined my son!"

"We already know it has something to do with the breezies," said Tailspin, letting out a chuckle herself. "Sheesh, you must've really trounced him bad last time, Dare."

"No kidding," Daring said, snickering even more. "Man, I always knew Ahui was pathetic, but never would I have ever dreamed that he'd be such a wimp that he'd have to run to his mother for help. Th-that's just... I-I can't... Pfff-bwahahahahahaha!"

Soon, Daring and Tailspin found themselves rolling on the ground doubling over in laughter. Recon joined in as well, falling out of Daring's pocket as he rasped and guffawed. Even the breezie Atotoztli II was holding let out a few giggles, but it quickly clammed up when Atotoztli II shot it a glare.

"Stop that! I-it's not funny!" she roared, blushing through her makeup.

"Oh man, it so is!" Tailspin wheezed, pounding her hoof against the ground. "Y-y'know, it wouldn't be so bad if her first idea wasn't to use the freaking breezies! Seriously, what're the breezies going to do?!"

Atotoztli II stomped her foot in anger. "N-no! I'm not telling you that! In fact, I'm going to deal with you right now! Prepare to meet your doom, Ms. Do!"

She then muttered some sort of incantation and pointed at the ground before her. Suddenly, a large black puddle formed where she pointed, causing Daring to stop laughing. From the puddle, a shadowy figure emerged. The figure in question was a giant bipedal elephant wearing a silken sash, a decorated loincloth, and a scabbard that housed a large scimitar. Its midnight blue body was decorated with red spiraling tattoos, and it had but one eye embedded in the middle of its forehead. Daring blinked.

"And just who is that?" she asked.

Atotoztli II sneered. "Oh, you poor naïve fool. This gentleman before you is none other than Girimehkala, the great warmonger of the east. Getting his assistance was rather, expensive, but for a pest like you, it's worth every penny."

"Uh-huh," said Daring, nodding slowly. "And, what exactly is he going to do?"

Atotoztli II gave Daring a quizzical look. "You mean you haven't heard the legends of the great Girimehkala?"

"Lady, I don't even know how to spell his name," said Daring, crossing her forelegs. "Seriously, just because I'm a great explorer doesn't mean I know every little detail about every little legend ever."

Atotoztli II blushed. "Oh. Um, pardon my presumptions," she said, clearing her throat. "Anyway, it is said that those that stare into the eye of Girimehkala are met with eternal misfortune. And that, Ms. Do, is what's going to happen to you!"

Daring deadpanned. "Wow, you really just gave me such great incentive to stare this ugly palooka in the eye," she said sardonically. "You know, I can fight him without doing that."

"You can try," said Atotoztli II smugly. "Girimehkala, do your worst."

Girimehkala unsheathed his scimitar and pointed it at Daring. "I've heard a great deal about you, Daring Do. I hope you don't disappoint me," he rumbled.

"Depends on what you mean by 'disappoint,'" said Daring, arching her back and pawing the ground. "If you want me to provide a challenge, then I'm more than happy to deliver."

"Alright! That's the Daring Do I know and admire!" Tailspin cheered. "Show those blockheads who's boss!"

Girimehkala noticed Tailspin and chortled. "You'll find that I've fought many heroes in my day, Daring Do. Heroes that have tried to end my wars and quench the fires that I fan. But they all had one weakness."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?" inquired Daring.

"Selfless sacrifice."

With that, Girimehkala swung his sword at Tailspin. Tailspin flew out of the way just in the nick of time. Daring scoffed.

"It kinda undermines your point when your target can take care of themselves, big guy," she said frankly.

Girimehkala snarled. "Don't even try to make a mockery of me, Daring Do. You will bow before me yet!"

He swung again at Tailspin, who once again dodged the strike. This went on a few more times, until Tailspin started to get fancy. She spun and swerved around the air, occasionally pausing to blow a raspberry at Girimehkala. Daring saw where this was going and sighed.

"Better nip this in the bud," she said, flying towards Tailspin. Sure enough, Girimehkala aimed his strike and slashed Tailspin from the sky. His eye intensified, staring down eagerly at his target. Daring flew in a shoved Tailspin out of the way, only to find herself locking gazes with Girimehkala. She swallowed.

"Aw, horse apples."

Suddenly, a sharp, violent itch coursed throughout her entire body as it became enveloped in a sparkling blue aura. Tailspin pulled out of her spin and shook herself, only to see Daring writhing in agony.

"Dare!" she gasped.

"T-Tailspin, g-get outta here!" Daring grunted, her voice gradually gaining a higher pitch. "I-I'll be fine!"

Tailspin bit her lip. "Th-this is all my fault," she whimpered, tears forming in her eyes. She looked up. "D-don't worry, Dare! I-I'll come back for you!"

With that, Tailspin flew off. Daring continued to squirm and struggle, her eyes glued to Girimehkala's intense glare. She didn't even notice her body becoming smaller and smaller, nor her wings changing shape, nor the antennae that sprouted from her head. All she could see was a single, monstrous eye staring back at her. Finally, she blacked out, falling unconscious to the ground. Atotoztli II sniggered nefariously.

"Get out of that if you can, Ms. Do," she gloated. "Of course, that's highly unlikely, considering the predicament you're in. I do hope my son appreciates this. Come along, Girimehkala. We still have much work to do."

She then hobbled off. Girimehkala turned his back to Daring and closed his eye.

"Such arrogance in that dense ape," he mused. "But no matter. With the famous Daring Do out of the way, nothing will stand between me and the wildfire that will be upon this detestably tranquil land. No nation can avoid the flames of war. So says Girimehkala."

He trumpeted out a sinister laugh as he dissolved into shadow, leaving an unconscious and cursed Daring Do behind. As he left, Recon shook his feeler at him and rasped angrily before turning around to tend to his mistress. Meanwhile, a pair of breezies poked their heads out of their hiding places, wondering what all the commotion was about. They turned to each other.

"Dida dome kaleng," said one.

"Pera monto malenki?" asked the other.

"Metzipa! Molo meit!"

"Ni ni ni, Tra-La-La. Molo meit."

"Ni, Tiddlywink. Molo meit."

"Mo nata, Tra-La-La. Molo meit."

"Monta mechani, Tiddlywink. Molo meit."

"Mey! Mata nello! Meto mala meit!"

"Tooley?"

"Faldarei!"

The two then flew off together while Recon stood by his mistress's side, vigilantly looking out for any other danger that could befall her in her current state.

Comments

[EpicShadowz]

And that is how daring do the breezie was made!

[comicfan616]

If there's one thing I've learned, it's that the greatest evil in the world is said evil's mother.

[MythrilMoth]

How embarrassing to be felled by your arch enemy's mother.

[ConsciousHaze196]

"Tailspin, you do realize that this is exactly what I didn't want to deal with on my vacation, right?"

Has she ever thought that it might be a curse that she has to deal with exactly what she doesn't want to deal with, and she might want to find a way to break that?

The two then flew off together

Seems relatively clear why there are only two of them.

[Shadow Star]

translation for those who don't speak breezie?

[MythrilMoth]

Qutezacoatl Empress

Quetzalcoatl

[Metool Bard]

6009017 Y'know, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I probably spelled that wrong. Thanks for catching that, mate.

[Kitcat36]

Suddenly, a sharp, violent itch coarse throughout her entire body as it became enveloped in a sparkling blue aura.

You want "coursed" here, NOT "coarse"

[Metool Bard]

6127150 Whoops! Thanks for catching that, mate.