xjuggerscrapsx

by xjuggernaughtx

Dear Princess Lunchtime - Chapter Four (Comedy, Random, Adventure)

Dear Princess Lunchtime,

Oh, you have no idea how good it was to hear that you want the three established mealtimes to come together in harmony. It will be so nice to eat breakfast again. I’ve tried to be strong, but around ten-thirty, I get a little lightheaded and I start bumping into things and snapping at anypony who notices.

You’ll probably be as shocked by this as I was, but this hotel doesn’t offer complimentary wheelbarrows with the room. I thought it might just be a new staff member or something, but I read the fine print front to back to front again, and I don’t see it listed in the amenities anywhere. I have to say that I expected a little bit more from Baltimare’s hotels, but if spreading the magic of lunchtime was easy, everypony would be doing it.

But as you suggested, I decided to forge ahead with recruiting the Element of… You know, I need an abbreviation or something. I’ll just call him The Element of Vending Machines when it’s not some formal occasion. Anyway, I think you’re right. We need to make our move before he decides to move or change jobs or something. Where would we be then?

Princess, I’ve come to believe that there are forces aligned against the magic of lunchtime. Some strange power take over the minds of ponies and steers them away from me. I often time have to grab hold of them to spread your word, and even then they fight me.

I feared that whatever dark forces are aligned against you were probably working their magic on that stallion, Your Peckishness. I thought it would probably be best to get to him before they did. After all, the Repository isn’t going anywhere.

But without a wheelbarrow, I was at a loss as to how I should get the paper over to him. I mean, it’s not that it’s heavy, but at over ten feet long, it’s difficult to maneuver through a busy city street.

The answer just came to me out of the blue, or I guess maybe I should say it was out of the beige. I hit my head on the bathroom door jamb. You see, I was trying to open one of those little packs of soap when there was a knock on the door. I ran to answer it, but my hooves were all slippery, and I tripped. I’m not sure how long I was unconscious on the bathroom floor, but whoever it was had gone by the time I came to. I think it might have been housekeeping. When I came to, they’d left a pillow mint on the floor beside me.

Anyway, when I woke up, I had this idea. And a big bruise, but the idea is the important part. I’d just go up to the roof and make a big paper airplane. Then I’d just fly over to the office building and show it to him! I can’t believe the things you come up with when head trauma is involved.

You might not know this, but I could make a mean paper airplane when I was a little filly. I took your letter up to the roof and started folding. In no time at all, I had the best royal glider Equestria has ever seen. I aimed for the office building and ran as fast as I could, jumping it at the last second!

I’d probably flown a few yards before it occurred to me that I didn’t really have a way to steer. That’s the funny thing about these narrow city streets: The tall buildings really funnel the wind right down them. Rather than gliding down to the street, the plane when up, and I… well… I sort of smashed into an eleventh story window. Luckily, the window washers had just moved, so the glass was still a little bit wet. When the plane hit it, the paper unfolded and then just stuck to the window.

Your Highness, it was destiny! I couldn’t see it because the paper was in the way, but it was his floor! The window washers caught me, and he got the message. I did run into the complication of a restraining order, but at least I know his name now! It’s Spreadsheet. Isn’t that perfect? Like, your sheet of paper that spread all over the window? Or like spreading icing on a sheet cake? It’s confirmed now. I just have to convince him!

I’m awfully sorry to hear that your tax didn’t receive approval from the council. I thought it was pretty progressive. Do you have anyone more ideas for building the assets of the royal coffers. I’m only asking because I’ve just received this fine for operating an aircraft without a license, and it’s nearly cleaned me out. I couldn’t talk the guards out of it, but they did let me know that strict lunch provisions are in their union contracts. We may have allies there.

Your faithful student,

Poppyseed