- Member Since 1st Dec, 2014
- offline last seen February 24th
Havokwithak
A simple writer with a love for ponies and romance. If there's anything you want to know ask.
Havokwithak
Joined 1st Dec, 2014 ·
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Tactical Feels Incoming!!!
I thought this said it was complete and then I was getting ready to beg you for another chapter, then I saw the 'incomplete' sign and now my day is way to happy
5810540 huh, I didn't even see that. Thought it was a little odd having the romance tag at this stage.
5810836 yeah, I didn't see any romance, now I'm glad I double checked!!
i.imgur.com/T22ii.png
5812999 That was the exact response I was hoping for.
I'm watching... waiting...
Waiting for that magical complete tag.
i.imgur.com/F4jq44z.png
5828459
5828366
Thank you both very much. Hope you continue to enjoy all there is to come.
I'm just going to slip in here and insert my two cents on the story.
Don't mind me!
I liked that you took some time to get the feel of the setting at Sweet Apple Acres before jumping straight into the dialogue, like a lot of authors seem to neglect. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who included 'introduction' sort-of things (though mine are awkward).
Dash can be insensitive and AJ can be too stubborn when it comes to showing just how strong she is, so if Dash is willing to give her insensitivity up to support AJ, then AJ can give up a bit of her stubbornness (in fact, she already is). Seems simple enough, but a lot of fics that address Applejacks' parents usually have a sensitive pony (like Fluttershy or Twilight) being the one to balance out AJ's personality during those sad scenes. I can already see some interesting chemistry starting...
As for delivery, your style is slightly more 'prose-ish than poetic....if that makes sense. 
All I'm saying is that you could have a little more variety in the way you describe what a character is doing instead of just directly stating what they do each time. 
I also like your choice of Rainbow Dash being the one to interact with Applejack while she's struggling with her Bruce Wayne complex over there.
So, seems like a good setup to me.
But that's not a huge issue, nor is it too distracting. While I'm not an Appledash fan, I think that you're a good author, and you should continue writing this.
5828578 Thank you very much. I really appreciate it.
My mother used to sing this song to me. I don't know if that makes my opinion biased of something, but just know that Rainbow and Mac weren't the only ones getting teary-eyed.
You really set this up in a clever way. There's no pre-existing relationship, and the story ends with them just spending time together, rather than a big dramatic confession. And I really like it for that, because it lets us see our main characters in a role we don't see often: mourning, but still finding happiness with each other.
I like it. Very sweet.
5834169 Why thank you. My mama (cause that's what we call the best moms) also used to sing this to me when I was a kid, and sometimes if I've had a really bad day, I can catch her humming it in the kitchen. The song itself has always been a source of comfort for me personally and I know a lot of people who feel the same way, but it also makes me a little sad. It's kind of a reminder for me that, as we get older some things that we used to depend on end.
I'm glad you enjoyed the story, but that wasn't the ending. There is more to come and I very much hope you enjoy it, friend.
5834362
Silly me! That sign doesn't say "complete"!
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/063/7/d/twilight_facehoof_by_drdraze-d4rojn5.png
But hey, there's more! Great!
Amazing story so far. ;w; Can't wait for the next chapter.
Shot in the dark. Granny Smith wasn't keen on her granddaughter being lesbian.
Should that be "first friend"?
5885564 I hope not. That plot line is overused in pony fics.
YAY!!!
5885626
5885564
That could be the case... or I could be just a little more original than that... guess you'll have to stay tuned to find out.
Damn, cliffhanger!
Wow!
It's all right, but I'm afraid the sadness is a bit too ham-fisted for me. Plus all of the narration saying how oh so sad it all is all the time is a bit grating.
Dragon feels a bit... uh. Overmuch. Especially since, with how horribly deep this trauma of losing her parents is, doesn't match up with AJ not being afraid or enraged at dragons in canon. Not sure if this has an AU tag or not, but that's a big switchup there.
I could see a King Timberwolf, it's big, nasty, impressive, evil-looking. The one coming after AJ actually had her scared, almost paralyzed, and she looked plenty pissed off when she encountered the timberwolves earlier in that episode.
Can't wait for more
I love a story I can get sucked into just due to the raw emotion. I'm am avid reader/critic so I don't drop meaningless or untruthful pats on the back. This is a great story despite its minor grammar flaws. Well done and I definitely hope to read more of this particularly engrossing drama.
I think that Filthy Rich is considerably older than Applejack and they wouldn't have gone to school together. After all, his daughter and AJ's sister are the same age. He must be at least 10-15 years older than her.
Is this going to be updated soon?
5919556 Very soon.
*Edit* Now that I think about it, this chapter is going to be way longer than any others I have written so far, so it will be soon, but I promise I'm not procrastinating this time.
I need updates! I need them now!
6048256 I promise I'm doing my best, work has just been insane lately and it's hard to get anything done on sixty hour weeks.
Mooooooooooore T_T
Aw yeah, this story rocks!
Wait..... so....... oh I feel bad now..... oh I'm sorry Granny. I just..... so many stories have you like that and..... oh God. I'm so sorry.
I hope the next one comes out SOOOOON!!!!!
But.. but.. what
6166602 What, what?
6166607 I'm serious, what are Rose and Granny not telling Applejack?
6166627 Huh, Y'know, I was honestly worried it would be too obvious.
6166652 Or perhaps I'm just incredibly dense
6169955 No, I doubt that. I think I actually just did a really good job of keeping it left field.
Omg. I'm loving this so far. More please. I would really want to find out what happened
6241772 Thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
6243453 I think I know whats wrong with Rose and i really hope I'm wrong on this
This story is amazing. Updating?
6400875 Very soon. Long story. Check my blog for more information.
Are you going to update it? It's a really good story!
6646391 Yes.
Sorry.