• Member Since 31st Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 27th, 2018

WezaQ


Eh, I'll do this later.

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Comments ( 4 )

Frankly, I don't see Discord getting along well at all with the order of government, much less the military. And what's more, I'm not immediately convinced that he likes war - look at how jovial and peaceful he was in making Ponyville the Chaos Capitol of Equestria! Now you could easily convince me that he'd decide to throw our world into war - maybe to do away with our well-ordered governments? - but your story would need to actually do the convincing.

(Oh, and check your grammar too? I saw some missing commas and at least one stray apostrophe.)

So, in short: I think you need to put in some more hints to what Discord's thinking, and how he got to this point.

It's good. But... and I really hate to nitpick here. I've done the same thing before.

the room room just stopped.

But I still enjoyed it!

6968238 causing a pointless war seems chaotic in itself. Also I'm reminded that people can use Chaos to create order so why not Discord use Order to create Chaos?

6968238 Don't think of it as war, that's too ordered, think of it as The Cuban Missile Crisis.
I couldn't spend a long time in universe considering how short the reveal is, so that may not have been as clear. :ajsleepy:

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