• Published 17th Apr 2015
  • 24,846 Views, 1,059 Comments

I am God...apparently? - CrossRedstone

Lauren Faust wakes up one day in Equestria and guess what? Celestia and Luna tell her that A: she's the queen and B: they're her daughters. How will she cope? Will she stay or try to find a way back? Oh and she's an alicorn, of course.

  • ...

Chimicherrychanga (unedited)

"I'm fine, really." Lauren repeated, slightly annoyed. Her daughters had now an even closer eye on her than before. It was almost like they were the parents and not she.

...I'm really getting into this role.

They were all now sitting in one of the living rooms, sitting on cushions and some enjoying a drink or a cookie or two. Most of the Elements looked at their queen a little concerned.

"Your majesty, no offense, but I think it would be wise to let the royal physicians give you another check-up, just in case." Twilight advised. "Whatever spell you used, might have some long term side effects on you."

"I don't think it's really the spell and more my brain having trouble processing all those...memories, I guess." Lauren looked to the side, unsure of what she just said. Were those memories? Well what else could it be?

"I don't really get it." Rainbow commented. "Why would you feel bad, because of remembering...stuff?" she asked.

"It differs from person to person, at least that's what I heard. It's either the memories come back bit by bit and cause a bit of confusion in the process, or like in my case, it hurts. It's just a thing I'll have to deal with. I guess."

"That's a bunch of horseapples." Rainbow proclaimed.

"Rainbow Dash! Language!" Rarity chided, while the others flinched, hoping their friend didn't accidentally summoned the wrath of the royals.

"Please forgive her, your majesties." Rarity bowed, trembling a little.

"It's alright." Lauren said. "I rather appreciate the concern."

"So, yer majesty, yer going to take over the ropes of leading the country again?" Applejack asked out of the blue. It completely took Lauren off guard. She completely forgot about THIS part of being a queen.

M-m-m-me? LEADING EQUESTRIA?! Holding speeches in front of hundreds if not thousands of ponies?The only times I ever hold speeches were the times at Bronycon! Oh no, there'll be dignitaries from other countries, tax management and about 3000 dozen other things!

"Not as of yet." Celestia said, snapping Lauren out of her panicked thoughts. "We first need mother to get back in touch with the government and what has changed over the past 1000 years and so on. The nobles are still getting used to the idea of Luna handling half of the state of affairs and now with mother back, I think I will have the most exciting weeks I have had in centuries." Celestia' smile brightened up, when she said that.

"I know why I became an author..." Lauren accidentally said this loud enough for everypony to hear.

"You write stories?" Twilight asked a little excited.

"Why yes, now we remember." Luna spoke up. "Mother would write the most beautiful foal books, just for us." The night princess sighed in nostalgia.

"Y-yes, you see, I write children stories, mostly for little girls, although...my last work somehow..." she trailed off. How exactly did I pull this off? At first I was like everyone else, those bronies just being creeps with no life. But, oh gosh, it just didn't stop and when I looked into it...

"Your last work did what exactly?" Celestia asked, once again snapping Lauren out of her thoughts.

"Never mind." Lauren hoped they wouldn't pursue the topic further. For now it was best if she talked as less as possible about earth and the show. "Why do you ask Twilight? Do you write stories in your free time?"

"Me? Oh no, I just like reading, that's all." Twilight responded at the unexpected question.

She doesn't write? Hmm, well I'm not really sure if it would go with her personality anyway. Maybe a history book or a lecture book, a biography at most, but a story book? Maybe if she is older, but it might just not be her thing. Hmm, I totally can imagine her editing her mother's stories. Wouldn't surprise me if that is what happened.

"More like you're married to your books, egghead." Rainbow Dash snickered.

Rolling her eyes, Lauren "accidentally" tipped over her untouched teacup and managed to spill almost all of it on Rainbow's left wing.


"Oh, I'm sorry Rainbow Dash."

Luna and Celestia each suppressed a snicker. Of course they would know, when their mother was sincere and when not.

"Yeah, if you'd excuse me for a minute or two." Rainbow walked towards the bathroom.

The idle chat continued, mostly about things Lauren already knew. It were either things from the show or things she had been thinking about, when she created the characters, which was more than a little surprising. For example Pinkie Pie absolutely couldn't stand dentists (she mentioned it off hand, while talking about Gummy). Oh and she was still talking.

"...and so I was thinking what I should call them. What do you think sounds better? Chimcherry? Or cherrychanga? Chimcherry? Or cherrychanga?"

While most people would be annoyed after 30 minutes of Pinkie Pie going on and on and on, Lauren actually found herself laughing from time to time and overall enjoying Pinkie's antics, much to the dismay of everypony else. After the first time the alicorn laughed, Pinkie found herself encouraged to double her efforts.

"Why not just call them Chimicherrychangas?" Faust asked and just like that Pinkie stopped.

Her irises shrunk to pinpricks, while her mouth formed a very small "o", leaving her with a pretty funny dumbfounded expression. Lauren watched with interest as Pinkie Pie started to shake without visibly moving any of her limbs, until she jumped into the air, exclaiming: "OF COURSE!" she landed on the ground. "Why didn't I think of that?" she continued slamming her hooves on the table.

Lauren laughed wholeheartedly as Pinkie Pie jumped around saying stuff she couldn't really understand, except here and there a few words. She didn't get how one could not get enough of the pink pony? The former woman couldn't remember, when was the last time she had this much fun.

Eventually Celestia stood up from her cushion, after looking out of the window. "I'm sorry my little ponies, but it's time for the sun to set. And I think it is also time for you to return to Ponyville, isn't it?"

The small ponies let out collective "aws". Faust wasn't happy either, she really enjoyed the time with the other mares. Also she didn't get to talk with Fluttershy as much as with the others.

"Do not fret my little ponies. For you will be invited for when we officially announce the return of our beloved queen." Luna said, cheering up everyone.

After saying their goodbyes, Lauren and Luna were left alone, while Celestia was off to start the sunset. "Now then mother, perhaps though wish to visit the royal library before dinner? Or mayhaps thou wish for a little stroll through the castle?"

"Actually, I'd rather enjoy a little snack before dinner. Like those chimicherrchangas here?"

Luna blinked. "When did those appear?"

Lauren smirked. "I have no idea."

More and more Lauren got used to her new body. She was now actually looking forward to learn flying, after seeing a few pegasus guards taking off into the air. She also asked herself if all those guards really looked alike. In the show they looked alike, because it would be just tedious giving each guard an individual coat. The two common theories she knew from the fandom were either Celestia accepted only guards with white coats (which was wrong, since at least one guard in the show had a dark coat) and the second being that the armor camouflages the true coat color of the guards, so their families are protected.

She made a mental note to ask later. For now she really needed to go to the dining room. Luna excused herself a couple of minutes earlier, said she forgot that she needed to talk with the captain of the night guard. There was just one problem: Lauren had no idea where the dining hall was and incidentally neither met a guard or a servant, while going in circles.

Alright, let's try door number 5. Lauren sighed and pushed the door open to yet another hallway. Who designed this place? It doesn't look that big outside. Oh right, it's probably this big for comedic purposes.


Why did I never made an episode about this? It would have been great! Well, not like I'm ever going to get the chance. These days, I'm only giving advice and not actively creating episodes. Thinking back, if things had gone my way there would have been only one alicorn. But I have to admit having two alicorns was the better choice, not only from a plot standpoint. And now she's more popular than Celestia. Urgh, the missed opportunities of character development.

Wait a minute? Are those voices? Yes, now I can finally ask someone...or somepony, I guess, where the dining room is.

As she walked closer, the red maned alicorn recognized the voices of Luna and Celestia.

"-belief that she is our dear beloved mother, sister." Luna said.

Lauren stopped just as she reached the corner.

"Can you really blame her Luna?" Celestia sounded a little resigned. "If you would suddenly wake up and two princesses you never met would tell you that you're the queen and their mother, how would you react? I've been thinking and came to the conclusion that we're pushing her a little too much into this."

"But 'tis her role, her rightful place!"

"Yes, I know, but...we don't know as of yet what actually happened on this other world. Not to mention, I'm curious as to what a human is. Her memories are coming back, but it needs more than some random pictures and spontaneous outbursts to convince her, make her realize who she is."

Luna let out a frustrated sigh. "'Tis infuriating. After more than one, no two-thousand years we are reunited with our mother and then this has to happen! She probably was working tirelessly on a spell, which could bring her back to us and when she finally succeeded-" Luna stomped with her hoof on the floor. "Discord is lucky he's back in stone or else..."

There was a little moment of silence.

"In any event, all we can do is wait patiently and see what happens next. I admit, I'm itching, as they say it nowadays, to find out just what happened during the confrontation of mother and Discord."

"Indeed sister." Lauren imagined Luna nodding. "If we remember correctly, he saw her as the only thread that could possibly stop him. Luckily he wasn't aware of the existence of the Tree of Harmony at the time. Let us hope, he won't break out again anytime soon."

"Agreed, Luna. I'm thinking, maybe we should let a couple of guards keep track of him, just to be on the safe side."

Lauren could hear the two princesses walking towards her. A few things were going through her mind, but for now she had to make it seem, like she just arrived.

Author's Note:

Next time. Sweet, sweet politics.
Writers block sucks by the way.