• Published 17th Apr 2015
  • 24,839 Views, 1,059 Comments

I am God...apparently? - CrossRedstone

Lauren Faust wakes up one day in Equestria and guess what? Celestia and Luna tell her that A: she's the queen and B: they're her daughters. How will she cope? Will she stay or try to find a way back? Oh and she's an alicorn, of course.

  • ...

Press conference (1)

Author's Note:

Don't ask why it took me so long. And don't ask why you haven't heard anything from me as of late.

I'm kinda out of shape and I think it shows. Anyways, I won't make any promises about chapter release dates, anymore, because who knows, when the next one comes out?

"I honestly have no idea where to begin," Lauren said, chuckling a little. The microphone and speakers had surprisingly good sound quality. "I can only guess that all of you are very confused at the moment, as most of you probably have never heard of me." she continued, her wings twitching a little. These little ponies just were too cute for their own good. "I hope today I can clear up as many questions as you possibly have, however before we get to this, please let me tell you a little bit about me first."

Lauren took in a deep breath. Come on, you have lied in your life before. Today you're just doing in on a slightly larger scale. On a national level...stop thinking that way! Technically it isn't even lying! You're just using information that was given to you, which you cannot verify at the moment.

"You see, it all happened more than a millennium ago. As you are aware for a time, Discord reigned over Equestria in his...let's say unique way. Floating islands, checkered grounds, chocolate rain...those were the harmless things he created with his chaos powers and if he would have left it at that, who knows? Maybe we would have become good friends."

Lauren came up with the description of the various episodes they created on earth, surrounding Discord. It made it easier for her to talk over the podium.

"But alas, it was not meant to be." Not yet anyway.

"I won't go into details, but I will say this. Discord manipulated ponies in all kinds of manners for his own amusement. Of course, I didn't like how he was treating everypony and confronted him. Unfortunately, he wasn't someone who could be reasoned with. As a result, a confrontation between him and me was unavoidable."

The reporters were scribbling furiously on their little notepads. Really, Lauren had never realized just how small in size day to day things were in Equestria, compared to Earth.

"Things didn't go as planned, though. Discord managed to beat me, but not in the usual way. Then again, doing things the usual way is not exactly his "style" to quote himself. He decided it would be funny to banish me to a completely different world."

The audience had overall a surprised reaction by this revelation. It seemed so surreal to them, yet Lauren could see that they actually believed her, while she herself wasn't really sure of her own words. It was probably because those ponies lived in a world filled with magic and because they recently got an additional princess, who was supposed to be nothing more than a myth figure. A fourth alicorn wasn't all that surprising.

"Since I don't have the same powers as Discord, you can guess that I spent the last thousand plus years on this other world and you're probably curious to hear about it, aren't you?"

The reporters now leaned forward, making them look like curious children. The red maned alicorn had to remind herself that those were neither cute pets nor were they actual children but fully grown adults in their own right. This, of course, was difficult, since almost none of them looked like adults by human standards.

"Well, luckily Discord didn't seem to pay much attention to which world he sent me to. Actual, now that I think about it, he probably didn't think at all and just let his magic do the work. The world, which the inhabitants for some reason decided to call "Earth", is luckily not a bad world. It is quite similar to our own world, with differences here and there, but not really great once."

By now Lauren was able to hear the pencils scribbling furiously on the notepads. And was that Lyra Heartstrings sitting in the second back row?

"The inhabitants are probably the most outstanding feature of this world. You see, they do not have ponies (not the same ones anyway), dragons, griffins, minotaurs or other races that can speak and think like you and me."

This statement threw the ponies out of the loop for a bit. They knew they were in for a story, once Celestia announced that she had a mother and that said mother was practically the head of the state, but this? Things were getting totally surreal now.

"The exception is one species. They call themselves humans (myself included). This doesn't say much for most of you, so let me explain. Humans are very similar to minotaurs, but they have feet like dragons and rather flat faces. Actually, the best way to describe them is as they are shaved monkeys, who wear clothes." There were some snickers around the audience.

"They have a very diverse culture and are overall curious creatures. But if I had to talk about the entire human culture, we would be here until next year. So instead I'll now answer the questions you no doubt have, whether they are about me or the other world."

Three, two, one...

And on cue, every single pony in the room started shouting questions at the pony standing on the podium. Lauren could feel her ears hitting her head, a motion that still felt weird to her, as in her previous body, she was incapable of moving her ears. The entire commotion wasn't new to her and as things went on, she felt more and more like she was in her element. Only the little child in her was becoming a bigger and bigger problem as time went on. She discreetly bit the innards of her cheek, in order to keep herself in check and not hug and kiss the next best pony, a cute lemon colored one with a light blue mane and cute little glasses.

Nope, not gonna hug, not gonna hug her, not gonna hug her!
Oh, right, I should keep the audience in line.

"Everyone, please! One after another."

There was a little bit more noise, but overall it got quieter until everypony was silent.

"Thank you. Now then, I think the best way to do this is like back in school. You raise your hands...no excuse me, hooves, I spent way too much time with humans I'm afraid. Well then...eeny, mini, miny...you with the green coat, please."

"Note Pad, Canterlot Times, your highness. Are you now going to take over Princesses Celestia and Luna's positions?"

Starting of easily, huh? Fine by me. "I do not plan to politically involve myself in the near future (or at any time, really. I am...what's the best way to put it? I mean...I have been gone for over a thousand years. I firstly need to catch up with our own history, not to mention everything else that I missed out. So I'm afraid (read: glad) that I won't be any political work for some time. Next question."

"Lucky Mallet, Equestria Daily, your highness." the mare introduced herself. Lauren barely suppressed a snort.

Really? Someone needs to claim copyright.

"If you don't mind the question, what does your cutie mark stand for? It is rather...different from the princesses." the mare remarked.

Different? Yeah, I guess, since it's nothing related to the sky or the world. The fandom created this cutie mark for me, not myself.

"My cutie mark, hmm?" Lauren quickly glanced at it, before returning to the audience. "I have a talent for writing stories. In fact, since my title didn't really help me in the other world, I spent most of my time writing stories," she told the reporters with pride in her voice.

"Manehatten Times, your highness. Front Page is the name. Could you tell us, why you couldn't come back earlier to Equestria?"

Oh dear. A magic question. What do I tell them now? Come on, brain, I need an excuse now!