• Published 17th Apr 2015
  • 24,846 Views, 1,059 Comments

I am God...apparently? - CrossRedstone



Lauren Faust wakes up one day in Equestria and guess what? Celestia and Luna tell her that A: she's the queen and B: they're her daughters. How will she cope? Will she stay or try to find a way back? Oh and she's an alicorn, of course.

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Politics at Night (Part 2/unedited)

Author's Note:

A little bit of info before we start. My editor wants to bring in a guest chapter next time.
For everyone who maybe expected a little more, there will be more politic shenanigans. I just didn't realize how hard it is to think of problems ponies might have. Enjoy, criticize and warning: my editor has yet to do his magic on this chapter. Grammar Nazi's take cover.

There was always a recess scheduled at midnight, which gave Luna some breathing room, and time to have what was essentially her lunch. Lauren guessed Night Court must usually be pretty quiet, as Luna's personal scheduler didn't see a problem with bringing it forward now that Luna had finished with her previous petitioners.

Of course, it could always be that she simply wouldn't refuse the queen of Equestria anything... she mused.

She smiled as a warm cup of cocoa was placed gently in front of her, though the smile faded as she noted her daughter's downcast expression.

"Luna, stop frowning already." Lauren chided with a chuckle. "It makes you look really old."

Luna looked up from her spaghetti, and let out a sigh. "Forgive us mother. We shouldn't have behaved like this."

"Luna, just forget about it. I told you, I'm not mad. You were just doing of what you thought was right." Lauren smiled, trying to get the night princess in a better mood.

"If it is thy wish, mother."

It was Lauren's turn to sigh. Seeing as this wasn't getting her anywhere, Lauren carefully, as in very carefully, took a sip from her cocoa and then changed the subject.

"So, what else is on today's- I mean tonight's agenda?"

Luna looked up confused. "Dost thou wish to attend our night court?"

Lauren smiled sheepishly, blushing a little. "If it isn't too much trouble, I would like to attend just for one case."

"But mother! Thou should be asleep by now." Luna argued.

"I can't really sleep for some reason. I guess I am still a little shaken up from everything that happened today."

The night princess ignored the servant bringing the soup and focused on her mother. "We can help thee with thy troubles, if thou wouldst allow us to use our magic on thee."

"Hmm, maybe later." Lauren smiled. "I'm a little excited about watching the proceedings of your court." the white alicorn replied.

"Excited? We wouldn't use this word to describe our proceedings." Luna replied in a deadpan.

"Sounds it's like school. The first day is exciting and the rest you just want to skip." she snickered at her own little joke.

"If thee say so." Luna shrugged and proceeded with her midnight lunch. Lauren carefully put the tip of her mug onto her lips, enjoying the hot drink and general atmosphere in the room. Until she remembered that Luna didn't really answer her question. She shrugged it off, telling herself that she would see the proceedings soon enough.


"This...isn't necessary, really." Lauren said, as she stood in front of the massive throne that her subjects started making as soon as the royal sisters heard of her supposed return. It was a throne in her coat color, with a red cushion on it. The throne itself was made of hard wood and decorated with her cutie mark and various pictures of an alicorn doing something, like flying over a plain or looking down at her bowing subjects. It was decorated in gold.

"Nonsense, mother." Luna waved off. "If anything the craftsponies should have decorated it with platinum. And where are the gems?" she asked, shaking her head. "Ponies these days..."

"You know, Luna? Sometimes less is more, you know?" Lauren tried to reason, but Luna wasn't hearing any of it. "Thou art the ruler of this nation, mother. What pray tell will our subjects think, if we let thee sit on a simple chair? A disgrace mother! It would be a disgrace in your name!"

"Okay, okay. I'll sit on it." the "almighty" queen held up her wings, trying to prevent Luna from using the royal Canterlot voice.

"One would think, thou lived among the commoners, while absent from Equestria." Luna muttered.

"..." Lauren held her comment back on this one. Instead, she awkwardly got on her throne, positioning herself on all four.

This is really comfortable. Wow, I have overview over the entire throne room.

Luna took position to Lauren's left on her own throne. "Very well. Bring in the next petitioner!" Luna announced, causing her mother's eyes to widen.

ALREADY?! Okay, stay cool Lauren. This is just like bronycon. Stay calm, smile here and there and everything should be fine.

An earth pony mare entered the room, her body low, ears folded back. She had a pink coat and a wedding bouquet as a cutie mark. The guards and Luna seemed to make her nervous. However, she became really frightened, when her eyes landed on the second alicorn in the room. Time seemed to have frozen around the mare, as she just stood there with one leg above the ground, paralyzed with fear.

Luna and Lauren looked at each other for a quick second, before Luna spoke up. "Art thou feeling well, my little pony?"

The mare hit the ground.


After the mare was brought to the hospital wing, Luna called in the next petitioner. This one turned out to be a red unicorn mare, who had a cherry red mane and a yellow sun as a cutie mark.

Poor dear. She looks a little...simplistic.

The mare too was shocked, when she saw two royals in the room, instead of one, but continued her walk after a few seconds, her head low.

"Your...highness-es." she bowed deeply, her voice being a little shaky.

"Rise my little pony." Luna spoke up. "Thy confusion is justified. This is our dear mother, Queen Faust." The mare's eyes widened in shock. The night princess continued.

"She recently returned to us from being banished from our world, by an old foe in the distant past. We shall properly announce her return soon. For now, she wishes to watch over the proceedings, so she can lead Equestria once again to the fullest of her abilities."

It amazed the former human, how the eyes of a even outside the cartoon could shrink to little pinpricks. "I-it is an honor, your majesty." the mare bowed so deep, Lauren was sure she would hit the floor with her snout.

"Please, don't be nervous." Lauren managed to use her professional voice. "I am only making myself...familiar with everything, like Luna said. Don't let me be a distraction to you."

"Now then." Luna quickly took over. "Miss Fiery Day. Thou came to our Night Court to present us with a means to increase the growth of the crops in thy town?"

"Y-yes, your highness." the mare cleared her throat and straightened herself. "You see, Little Valley is a small village at the bottom of the Foal Mountains. And it is placed in such a position, the mountains block half of the incoming sunlight. So far we have managed, but last year our harvest wasn't really that great last year and our reserves are fairly limited, so we need to somehow increase our crop production."

Lauren raised an eyebrow, a question forming in her head. As if being telepathic, her daughter asked the question.

"Miss Day, if the location of thy village causes so much trouble, why not simply settle down elsewhere? The crown can provide thee and thy ponies with the funds to start a new settlement."

The unicorn nodded. "I know, your highness. When speaking with the mayor, I actually suggested that first, but it is a town where 80% of the residents are Earth Ponies. I have no prejudice against them, but they tend to be really stubborn, when it comes to traditions."

To everyone's surprise, Luna laughed. "Oh, forgive us Miss Sun. It's just, thee remembered us of the old days. If thee thinks earth ponies art stubborn nowadays, thou would not want to live during the old days. None the less" Luna's voice was professional again "it wouldn't be that much of a hassle."

Lauren's eyebrow got even higher after that comment.

"Unless thy solution is easier, we will have no choice, but to decree a resettling."

"Yes well" the mare became nervous again, not daring to look up. "I might have found a solution. Please allow me to show you." The mare's horn glowed in a yellow light. A spark later and a white crystal appeared, floating in mid-air. Around the crystal was some kind of golden ring attached to it with little metal bars.

"I enchanted this crystal with a spell I invented myself." she floated the gem over to the night princess, who picked it up and studied it curiously. Lauren looked at the thing with interest.

Looks a little weird.

"It can now store a certain amount of the sun's light and give it away later, when needed. This is how we intend to solve our crops problem. By storing the sun's light and giving it to our plants."

"Interesting." Luna commented. "Very interesting, indeed. Continue."

"Yes, well...you most likely have already noticed that the design is a little rough, to say the least." the mare shuffled nervously with her hoof. "Plus, the spell is far from being perfect. The crystal can so far only a little amount of light. At this point we would need 100000 of these crystals in order to properly maintain our fields."

Luna scowled. "We assume, it is not easy to reproduce those crystals, is it?"

"N-no." the mare lowered her head. "But if you would give us the funds, we could do further research and maybe find a more efficient version of the spell, possibly even find a better design for the crystals."

"Oh we have no doubt that we will be able to find a solution someday." the princess emphasized the last word. "Yet, Miss Day, as a ruler, we have to see the bigger picture as they say nowadays. We cannot say for sure how much money is needed to come to a satisfying solution? Thousands of bits we might have been able to use somewhere, where it was much more needed. Even more important, we do not wish for our subjects to starve, while we sit idly here in Canterlot and play with shiny crystals."

With each argument the Fiery Day's head seemed to drop more and more. "So, I ask thee, Fiery Day. Can thou say for certain, that you will find a way to improve your design and spell in time?"

"...No, your highness. I can't say for certain."

"We see." Luna nodded. Then her eyes lit up. "Then we suggest thou talk with our adviser" she pointed at a pony standing in a corner "for the resettling of thy fellow ponies."

"Yes, your highness." Fiery Day sighed, defeated.

"Please do not take this personally, but we do not see another option. Unless your hometown has the funds to order food from outside."

Fiery Day shook her head. "No, I fully understand your highness. I guess, it's just personal pride. I knew this is how it would end, but I had to try."

"Excuse me" Lauren spoke up for the first time. "I know I said I would only observe, but...isn't it possible for your people- I mean ponies- to just set up their farms a little bit more outside the village?"

"Impossible." Luna said before the petitioner could speak. "T'is not easy to cultivate any plants around the mountains. There are few places, where the crops will grow properly."

"Oh, I see."


There was a five minute break before the next petitioner came in. Luna and Lauren used the time to talk with each other for a bit.

"I feel a little bad for her." Lauren admitted. "She looked like she was really attached to her home."

"Many ponies are. Maybe thou remembers, during you reign, the ponies were even less adamant of leaving their homes, even if necessary. T'is our very nature."

"Hmm..." Lauren looked towards the huge double doors at the end of the throne room. "You know, back at the place, where I was "banished", we had something similar to what the mare suggested."

"Oh?"

"Yes. They're called solar cells. They absorb the energy the sun gives off and turn it into energy. I don't want to go into details with that" If only to safe Equestria from the industrialization. "and it didn't work as well as many hoped. Whatever, let's not talk about that now."

"Hmm." Luna didn't say anything else and simply called for the next petitioner.

The next one was a unicorn as well, a yellow stallion, wearing a black suit. His green mane and tail were cut short and he held his head high, like the animators did with the pony nobles. Oh.

Well, this will be interesting. Lauren thought to herself. I hope I can prevent myself from laughing.

"Your highness." the stallion, with the golden sword cutie mark, gave a bow "Ah and of course, your majesty. I have heard of your recent return. I must comment you for your efforts to "get up to date" with the Equestrian politics."

"Thank you, mister...?"

"Golden Rule the third, your majesty." the stallion bowed again.

"Golden Rule" Luna spoke up, annoyed for being ignored by the stallion "the night lasts only so long, so let us proceed. Thou wished to carry forward a complaint?"

"Ah yes, business before pleasure. For you see, your sister princess Celestia gave my grandfather, Golden Rule the first, inherited my great granduncles heirloom, after he died. His great, great, great grandfather before received an estate and the title of a noble for fending off a rampaging dragon, single hoofed from Canterlot. And what a fierce battle it was, truly. I still have a very old painting hanging in my second living room, which clearly shows how he defeats the evil dragon with his own, bare hooves, while other ponies could only stare in awe at the heroic deed. Imagine it for a moment! A big-"

"What does that have to do with anything politic related?!" Lauren exclaimed. Normally she was more behaved, but one had to remember, she was tired.

"You're talking about the story about your great, I don't know who, which I'm sure is very interesting," Everypony could hear the sarcasm "but what's the point? You know there are other ponies waiting out there, waiting to speak with the princess, possibly having to wait for weeks, if not months and you stand here and talk about something completely irrelevant. You have a complaint, don't you? Why don't you simply bring it up and stop wasting time?"

...

It took the newest alicorn addition to notice that she had been ranting again. She really, really wished she knew how to teleport right at this moment. Her entire face, felt like it was on fire. It must have been as red as a tomato.

The princess of the night in the meantime had a hard time suppressing her laughter, while the noble stallion did his best to mimic a fish.

"I-I-"

"Your heard, your queen." Luna said mirthfully. "Thou art very lucky, Golden Rule. Wasting the time of the queen, more than once resulted in the dungeon, in the old days at least. That isn't to say, this could not happen again. After all-"

Golden Rule gulped, knowing all too well as to what happened to his colleague.

"Y-yes, of course! Forgive me your majesties!" he quickly bowed again. "I will get straight to the point! You see, the house I inherited is lately the scene of terrible vandalism!"

"Vandalism?" Luna titled her head.

"Yes! From the homeless children!"

Lauren leaned in a little further. This sounded serious.

"Yes, the children from the Canterlot Orphanage. Their constant cries and screams, when they're outside! I am not capable of having my beauty sleep any more. And the chalk! They always paint the street in front of my house with their chalk! Do you know what chalk does to my beautiful horseshoes? It is terrible, I tell you. We need to get rid of the orphanage as quickly as possible! Destroy it and replace it with something that truly shows the glamour of our glorious city!"

"ENOUGH!" Lauren's horn started to glow in a blue light. A second later, the stallion found himself flying in mid-air and unable to move a muscle.

"Let me get this straight. You come here, think you can tell us a nice story and then start to complain about children, simply being children?" Lauren growled, unaware of what she was doing. She unceremoniously let the stallion fall on his butt.

"Do they damage your property?"

The stallion shook his head.

"Do they paint graffiti on your walls?"

The stallion vigorously shook his head.

"Do these children do anything that might be considered against the law?"

The unicorn was about to nod, but refrained from it. Instead he shook his head.

Lauren's horn glowed in a bright blue for a second. The next, Golden Rule had no mane and a poofy tail, along with long eyelashes.

"Go. And don't you dare set another hoof in this castle."

Golden Rule nodded, before running out of the throne room as quickly as possible. Lauren's horn stopped glowing, with the alicorn falling to her knees.

"Mother!"

Quickly the guards that were assigned to her, supported the queen from both sides, as she struggled to keep her balance. Luna was quickly in front of her mother. "Mother, speak to us. Art thou feeling well?"

"Luna?" Lauren blinked. "What happened?"

"Nothing mother. Yet thou need thy rest. Guards, bring her back to her chambers."

"At once your highness." The guards saluted and escorted the alicorn back.


Lauren didn't feel too well. She was shivering and her forehead felt like there was a breezy knocking at her skull from the inside. Plus, she slowly remembered as to what happened earlier in the throne room. The noble had been droning on and on with his terribly, boring voice of his, causing her to go on a small rant. Then, when it came out that the stallion wanted to get rid of the orphanage, she lost it. Not only because of the pony, but because of the entire situation.

This world she created. In her mind she always imagined a world, that wasn't entirely perfect, one that had here and there some selfish ponies, an upper class that was a little full of itself, but not one that was heartless! It may have been only the one stallion (so far), but something like this was not supposed to happen at all. The villains were supposed to come at this level of "evil". Okay, he hadn't been evil, but-

"Argh!" Lauren clutched her aching head. She wasn't able to think straight at the moment and seriously needed to catch up some sleep, but there was no way she could fall asleep with the amount of pain she was feeling. To her luck, Luna and a doctor pony entered the room. They startled her a little, since they didn't knock.

The doctor pony held some sort of pill and a glass of water in his magic. "Here take this." The pill and the water floated over to the queen. Not having the strength to ask any questions, she simply took the pill in her moth and swallowed it with the help of the water.

"Please call me, if her condition gets worse." the doctor pony told the princess. "Goodnight, your majesties." he bowed and left the room. Luna closed the door behind him and then proceeded to walk towards her mother's bed. Arriving there, her mother spoke up.

"I...am sorry Luna. I lost my temper back there. I shouldn't have come."

"No mother. T'is alright." Luna nuzzled her mother's head. "Do not fret, we will provide you with a beautiful dream."

"Thank you." Lauren whispered.

Luna smiled and channeled her magic through her horn. She gently touched her mother's forehead. Lauren's eyelids seemed to crash down, a smile creeping onto her face.

The dark alicorn waited for another ten minutes, before she exited the room. The guards stood attention to their princess, who didn't even look at them. Night Court had been adjourned early. Luna would do some paperwork in her room until her sister woke up and raised the sun. She would need to inform the older siblings of the happenings this night.


Lauren was soaring through the skies of earth, flying at supersonic speed without breaking a sweat. She passed jets and airplanes, sometimes waving to the passengers and pilots with her hoof and then she would laugh over their dumbfounded faces.

She loved flying. The cold wind hitting against her fur, the adrenaline rushing through her body, as she dove down, coming dangerously near the ground, only for at the very last moment change the angle of her wings and fly up to the sky again. She could do this the whole day. There was only one thing she loved more than flying: sun bathing. And what better place to sun bath than a cloud?

She flew above a particularly big cloud only to suddenly press her wings against her body and letting herself fall onto the big soft pillow. She giggled, when the cloud reacted like a spring, hopping her up and down a little, until it settled down. Letting out a content sigh, Lauren positioned the sun a little bit more to the right, so that it would perfectly hit every part of her equine body.

She didn't know how long she just lazily lied on her stomach, nor did she really care. Fausticorn just didn't feel like sun bathing anymore. Instead she started to create cloud ponies. It didn't went really well. Cloud sculpturing was never one of her strength. Drawing and painting, sure, no problem. She could do this in her sleep, but cloud sculpturing? The resulting creature was something Discord would be proud of.

Lauren frowned and dropped herself out of the sky. Halfway down, she tensed up her wings and let the wind carry her where it deemed necessary. Over time she glided over a small village. The people outside pointed at her, some even started filming her with their cameras and cell phones.

Lauren didn't mind. In fact she was pretty much used to it. There were days, when she couldn't even go into the supermarkt without a brony filming her, asking for an autograph or just to simply shake her hand er hoof. Most of the time, she didn't find it a bother, but there were days, when it became to much and she just went home as quickly as possible.

The wind got weaker and weaker and finally she landed next to an apple tree on a small grassy hill, where she had a nice overview over the scenery. There were some woods a couple of miles north and to the east side, there was a mountain going up, slightly reminding her of Griffinstone.

However what really got her attention, was the man approaching her. He didn't say anything, he just smiled and waved and Lauren waved back. The man quickened his pace until he arrived on top of the hill. Lauren wrapped her wings around Craig's body and he did the same with his arms.

The two just lied in the grass, with Craig's head lying on Lauren's body. For a couple of minutes the two stayed that way, until Lauren decided she had enough and made it night time. Next she proceeded to rearrange the stars as she felt like it. Craig laughed over her poor attempt to shape shape a heart out of a couple of stars. She gave him a light slap on the head with her wing.

Lauren looked down at the human in front of her. There was a little problem she had with their relationship. However, it wasn't something that she couldn't fix. She was the Queen of Equestria after all. There were barely any boundaries she had. Producing a block, a pen and a couple of color pens out of thin air, she got to work, while Craig fell asleep on her belly.

Frowning at the initial results, she produced an eraser and started anew. Her pen seemed to catch fire, as she moved it quickly with her magic. Done with the overall drawing, Lauren found herself at a metaphorical wall. Namely which color to chose? Red, black, white, maybe green or blue or pink? No wait, there already was a pink alicorn, as well as a blue one.

Black didn't seem right, although it had its own appeal to it. Lauren sapped her fingers, that is, if she would have any. She quickly grabbed a dark green and black one and started her work. Two minutes later it was finished, well except for one thing: Lauren completely forgot the cutie mark! Oh well, Craig could always join the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Satisfied, Lauren channeled her magic through her horn and put it onto Craig's head.


Lauren woke up, the sun already shining brightly outside. Groggily, she wanted to start her morning routine, that is until she fell on her snout.

Oh right. Alicorn. she thought and got up on all fours. Finishing bathroom business, Lauren looked around her room, making an effort not to think about what happened last night. No one was there to get her, so it was possible it was still early. Not really feeling to interact with anyone at the moment, she trotted towards her window. The curtains blocked her view and it was rather troublesome to move them with her legs, but she managed.

The fresh warm air gently hit her, when she opened the balcony and stepped outside. The streets of Canterlot were bustling with ponies already. A look at the local clock tower revealed it was already 11 in the morning!

WHAT?! Why didn't anyone wake me up?!?
...
Maybe they thought I needed some rest after yesterday.

A look to her right revealed the gardens of the Canterlot Castle. She could only make out a small portion, but she knew, somewhere down there was Discord. If it wasn't for the fact to preserve the time line, she would straight up go down there and three the chaos god herself. But who was to say he would help her in the first place? She didn't knew what kind of past she had with the mad god, if any at that? The latter scenario would be actually very welcome.

Shaking her head, Lauren decided to head out for breakfast. Outside she saw that the lunar guards had been replaced with solar guards, both saluting to her with their over serious expressions.

"Good morning, your highness! We were ordered by the princesses to escort you to the dining hall, as soon as you're ready."

What next? Are the two going to hire me a babysitter? Hopefully they will let me explore Canterlot, once I'm settled in.

"Okay, gentlecolts. Let's go."

If only because I don't know my way around here.

"By the way, what are your names?"

"I am Sergeant Swift Strike, your highness." the left one introduced himself.

"And my name is Sergeant Quick Shield." the right one introduced himself.

Why did I go with the pun names again? Lauren smiled wryly. Back then I found it so funny. I better get used to this.

At the dining table, Lauren saw that there were only a couple of hoofservants standing on the sides, ready to please her every need. Asking one of them, she found out that Celestia was in a meeting and Luna asleep. She also found out that Celestia would come later to Lauren, wanting the red maned pony to meet somepony important.

Lauren wondered who that pony might be, but didn't think too much of it at the moment. Her stomach was demanding food and she was all too happy to oblige it's request of nutrients. As soon as she placed herself on a cushion, the servants swarmed her like bees did with their queen. It was a little awkward, for someone who was used to doing her own breakfast.