• Member Since 14th Apr, 2014
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Sea Salt


99% of fanfiction is terrible and 80% of that is terrible porn. I can promise one of those things won't be in my account.

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This story is a sequel to How to Preen Your Chicken


Rainbow Dash has taught Scootaloo how to be brave and smart. Scootaloo is about to face her biggest test ever.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

5720049 Why thank you. I was afraid of writing Scootaloo too much like Twilight but I wanted to make her smart.

This a very good fic well done

~Scootaloo

5721408 no problem

~Scootaloo

Awesome Work Sea Salt, as always your stories have impeccable awesomeness

- Epic Rainbow Dash :rainbowkiss:

5724729 Good need to make up for the rubbish timing.

5724729 You should read some of my other stories

I checked again, and re-read this, again, and I still feel this is just way too abrupt an ending. You sure this is complete? I can't imagine Dash just giving up. And the life debt thing, well, a little jig won't really repay what Scoots did.

Basing a story on a picture is fine and all, and it was certainly going somewhere, but I fail to see what you meant for us to to think. Is it meant to be this open ended? Do we just assume that Dash somehow saved her but maybe broke her neck when she tried to roll so Scootaloo wouldn't get hurt? Did Dash return them to the School and go back out anyways?

The end felt more like a middle to me. We didn't even get the whole Rainbow Dash stands by Scoots acting like she wasn't scared shitless at losing her with that stupid stunt she pulled. You know, end it to be more like the picture? Maybe Dash's team got worried and came back just in time to see Dash pull a crazy rescue that almost got her killed and saw Dash was going to fly back up to tackle clouds in her exhausted and beatup condition and all started to help out while maybe Cloudchaser and Thunder Lane got Dash to sit this one out while they cleared the rest of the clouds???

I guess, what I'm trying to say, as already said I suppose, is there are just loads of ways you could have ended this. But either way, nice short story for what its worth. I just wish it had gone a bit further imho. Have a like in any case.

5725591 heh, I've read some of your other stories, no mistakes and it's all awesome

5725930 It was meant to be a day in there life and I gave them a happy end no neck breaking this is the last sentence.

"the ground was getting dangerously close just before she felt the soft fur of Rainbow Dash’s arms. She nuzzled into her chest and closed her eyes."

I thought I made it clear but I will rewrite it if you like. As for the other things I didn't feel it was important.

5726404 I can see the rating. And that whole end there is exactly what I'm saying is a bit of a jarring end.

Yes, she was caught. Doesn't remotely say what happens after Scoots basically just clings and nuzzles into her. She's terrified. She's also a kid. It's perfectly natural to cling to someone in that situation.

An extension rather then a rewording would help this story a lot. It really cut short of a scene from really being up there in the potential d'aww department or 'phew, that was close.' hair-brain stunts to try to get Dash to pay her attention enough to stop from going about hurting herself more up there.

I love a slice of life. My favorite genre, honestly, it's just of you read this over again, step back and really look at it through a reader's perspective, you'll see it's just sort of leaving us hanging from a proper resolution to all the stuff you setup in the story so far. I think this story deserves a little more love, and it was going great. But that was just not the best stopping point. And I say that being a fan of Alfred Hitchcock films.

Heck, my own little rush job even leaves things open-ended to some events, but it wasn't pivotal to the overall story so it wouldn't affect readers and I could easily remove it and nothing much would change. But this here just does that whole Hitchcock thing to the max. lol

I'd just love it if for the sake of the story itself, it'd get a nice conclusion and maybe a 'and then they had pancakes' epilogue, but with Scoots maybe making them. Maybe she takes after Rainbow in bad cooking, or maybe she does a better job then Rainbow. My point is, it's a small let down for me who was just getting invested into where the story was going only to hit a brick wall of a stop at that point.

Hope that makes some level of sense. But no, you don't have to rewrite that line there. As vague as it is, it at least leaves it up to the reader to decide their own ending, which can be better then just saying "landed on the ground" followed by a "THE END", you know? But if you do extend the story, let me know. I'd love to read more of what the other foals, Cheerilee maybe noticing the CMC are missing, Di trying to distract Cheerilee, maybe before she blows a casket RD comes bursting into the school house or bangs on the the cellar door? I don't know. Just showing how many more things could have been added after Scoot's fall.

I'd love to add this to my favs. It just doesn't fill me with anything that other Scootadopt/Scoots gets saved by RD stories haven't already done to a fuller extent.

That said, you DO have a good story here. It just feels very incomplete. I know I type a lot of words, but I don't do this to try and make you or anyone feel bad. Or that I didn't like what IS there. Just, that, as a reader, I believe there is a story that could have gone further.

5727069 I will write an ending but happy endings suck if it wraps everything up so I will do an ending that I like then let you know.

And might I add, what happened to Sweetie Belle? Dash can't just fly three ponies back in such weather. She's pretty much passed out in the rain. That would elevate this story to adventure or potentially sad. Hypothermia, anyone? It's been shown to be extremely chilly with how you had fillies shivering in the cold with just a slight gust of wind from when the crusaders opened and left through the door.

This is what I mean when you have tons of stuff that that line just can't fill us in on.

Comment posted by Sea Salt deleted Mar 12th, 2015
Comment posted by Sea Salt deleted Mar 12th, 2015

5727085 You can make it a tragedy for all I care. I've even shown many forms of how that event from saving Scoots could go, so it's not like I'm saying make it all rainbows and sunshine. Just that it leaves tons of unanswered questions.

It's YOUR story, first and foremost. Don't write an ending because of me, and of course go with whatever you feel is write. It's YOUR story to tell. I'm just saying what some people are just too dismissive or nice to point out.

Comment posted by Sea Salt deleted Mar 12th, 2015

5727111 I gave Sweetie Belle an ending I kept Scootaloo's see what you think. I did forget to wrap up Sweetie Belle's story so I made her safe but if she's safe she has to pay for it.

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