Soarin' through a Rainbow

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Rainbow Dash, the one to accomplish a Sonic Rainboom, a citizen of Ponyville, and a fan of the Wonderbolts re-encounters a meeting with Soarin', a member of the Wonderbolts, in her hometown. Occasional meetings lead one to thing to another, but can they even see the spark that they have when they are together? Will they eventually notice their connection? Can they even admit to their attraction to one another?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 12 )

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GuyFace

GuyFace #1 · May 9th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

*looks at title*
I see what you did there. Also, first.

GuyFace

GuyFace #2 · May 9th, 2012 · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

I just read it. It's great, just don't abbreviate things like secs. Its just a tad annoying. That's the only thing I found wrong. I will track this.

abandoned2123

abandoned2123 #3 · May 9th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

Your plot here is very, very linear, and so far predictable. I understand that romance is a particularly difficult subject to write on, but you have to put your own clever twist on a fairly tired premise in order to create something new for the audience to enjoy. Your pacing here is rather quick, particularly with the dynamics between Soarin' and Dash themselves. It would be so much more deep and fascinating if we could see how their friendship and romantic ties actually take root.

Real relationships take time to develop, so why not fictional ones? Keep trying at it. I'd recommend finding a prereader to help you out. There's many on this site that can really help authors successfully flesh out their fics.

SonOfTheNorthe

SonOfTheNorthe #4 · May 9th, 2012 · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

Ha! Haha!
That wordplay!!
"Soarin Through A Rainbow"
Genious!
Ha! Ahaha! Hehehehe.....no.

WonderDash

WonderDash #5 · May 9th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1 ·

I can already tell you...
cosplayisland.co.uk/files/costumes/3606/48808/9131%20-%20animated_gif%20haters_gonna_hate%20my_little_pony_friendship_is_magic%20rainbow_dash%20tagme.gif

RedGamer8

RedGamer8 #6 · May 10th, 2012 · 1 · · Chapter 1 ·

Meh. Short and sweet but I don't think I will fav... Too long of paragraghs more or less. I can't critize, it's not in my blood. Sorta. I got nothin else to do, so I'll see how this goes.

Onefallenstar