Shadow of Luna

Source

How does the mind work? Is evil separate to it or grown from one's soul?
We shall never truly know.
Plunge into mind of Luna as it was, in the last stages of corruption by Nightmare Moon, and understand, what truly came into her head in those final, dark days of shadow.
Madness is very, very real.

Cover art from

http://majinkamael.deviantart.com/art/Nightmare-Moon-349535961
First story ever written. It is a oneshot, hope you like it.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 8
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Josephi Krakowski

Josephi Krakowski #1 · Mar 13th, 2015 · · ·

Apologies for the first name of the fic, I had not known that it was already taken.

Honest Wisdom

Honest Wisdom #2 · Mar 14th, 2015 · · ·

Wow... just wow.

Stalins Moustache

Stalins Moustache #3 · Mar 16th, 2015 · · ·

For a first fic this was awesome

White Comet

White Comet #4 · Mar 24th, 2015 · 1 · ·

This read more like a poem to me than a story. Not sure if that was what you were going for, but good job either way. :)

I like the way you use exposition. Neither going too deep or too shallow. It made have a more mysterious feel to it.

Also, is that cover art yours? I like the effect.

-Comet

Nightyarn

Nightyarn #5 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · · ·

I loved this - the pacing was excellent, the narrative voice was consistant and your concept of Nightmare Moon's influence was individual and ingenuitive.

The only error I found was in one of the first chapters.

Before:
Do you hear her? I do. I have heard her voice for ages by now. How long has been since she started speaking in my head, her accursed voice has started murmuring in my head? A month? Four? A hundred?

After:
Do you hear her? I do. I have heard her voice for ages now. How long has been since she started speaking, her accursed voice murmuring in my head? A month? Four? A hundred?

I found your story via the Authors Helping Authors group, and would ask if you could have a look at my fiction, Unsound, if possible.

It has been a pleasure.

Josephi Krakowski