- Member Since 17th Jun, 2013
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Hopeful_Ink_Hoof
[He/Him] Just a writer who likes MLP and hopes to make a living off it: https://ko-fi.com/ink_hoof
Hopeful_Ink_Hoof
Joined 17th Jun, 2013 ·
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Ohhhh this is promising!
Before i read I'm going to ask this one question? Is Nightmare Moon the alternate personality of Luna or is this the whole Parasite thing?
Fair enough.
This is actually a pretty nice touch, it shows that while Dash may not like things going slow, he knows she has to sometimes for greater accuracy.
Discord, YOU, not your, go there.
That's, pretty clever.
That'd be a yes.
Except for the variety of beings here who can stop you who are right there, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Discord. You are powerful Nightmare Moon, but can you stand up to the full might of 3 alicorns and a draconequus?
There was a fail safe right? Tell me, that there was a fail safe to prevent Nightmare Moon from being able to unleash her might against Equestria?
Darn it another Nightmare moon pocessed Luna story. uuuggghhh.
...I like it.
It seems out of character for Discord to be so quiet. We don't even know he's in the room until Twilight mentions he's there. If you were to revise this chapter later I'd suggest giving him at least one or two snarky quips.
5889052
He's probably just waiting for nightmare's inevitable buzz kill when she realizes she can't just run rampant and take over the world XD
Wow, I wonder if Discord is going to be a big help considering he is reformed as well...
You have a few little errors in here and there, but this looks promising. I look forward to more.
-Sanity is overrated
A promising beginning, though you didn't explain why Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were neede as part of the spell.
5885007 Since Nightmare Rarity is referenced it seems like this will be the parasite version.
5898297 yeah, which is why I'm no longer reading it. that arc should die. badly written and it weakens Luna as a character.
5899739 I disagree wholeheartedly with that opinion but to each his own.
5900336 How can you defend it. NMM not coming from luna at all makes Luna blameless in NMM's actions. thus her redemption is crap for it has no meaning. NMM HAS to come from Luna, she can be parasitic after that but she ultimately has to come from Luna.
5900340 Because Luna still isn't blameless. The nightmare fed on her insecurities true but she still let it in and let it control her. In fact that whole arc is about Luna seeking redemption for allowing the nightmare control her. Anyway let's not clutter the comment section with this, pm me if you want to continue the discussion.
I look forward to hot alicorn sex.
5900340
Literally no on every level.
The problem you are having is holding YOUR headcanon of NMM coming from the evil part of Luna above whatever anyone else writes because you do not like it, and it's as simple as that.
If you don't like a NMM story that someone writes because it doesn't fit your headcanon then just leave it alone and refrain from commenting on it. Plain and simple.
5907549 The thing that bothers me about the parasite approach is that it is utterly unnecessary.
Depression, Jealousy, and Anger are more than potent enough to make even the most stout-hearted waver.
To say Luna was possessed completely down plays any emotional attachment to the plot and renders her little more then a damsel in distress.
Whereas a Luna whose very thoughts and desires twisted her, and subsequently her having to live with what she has done is far more investing.
I understand those who feel it was a cop out.
That being said, where did the Nightmare come from? Latent moon spirits seeking to destroy the world? What the hell? And more over, Luna would've been more than aware of them, and not so easily swayed by them. And why Luna? Surely, plenty of ponies before and after had their own demons in their heads...
I think your missing a word here
Anyway an interesting choice on making Nightmare moon into a pegasus. but I like it. This seems like its gonna be an interesting story. Cant wait to read more.
5907682 The show itself doesn't really give us much to go on in terms of what it is that possessed Luna, or what caused her to transform, but we know it was her jealously for Celestia, or thereof.
But it ultimately comes down to how the reader wants to write it. Was it a demonic possession? Was it her own twisted desires causing her to literally transform? I don't care either way, but it annoys me greatly when people come into stories then are all "Piss moan piss moan I don't like this because it doesn't fit with my headcanon." as if they expected the story to comform to what they want to read rather than the way the writer chooses to interpret or give new meaning to the events as a whole
Fair enough.
HEH!
Fair enough, and no doubt many ponies had nightmares due to Discord's original reign of terror in Return of Harmony.
TO quote a certain crimson stallion "Eeyup."
I am guessing that collar around Nighty's neck has to do with her restrictions?
Nice chapter, but there's a very minor thing you may want to edit.
That should be "princesses" Also,
You're one to talk, Miss Tried-To-Kill-Everyone-On-The-Planet-She-Wants-To-Rule. Your plan was perfectly sane.
Methinks old Nighty might not be a fun of the choo choo.
Public transit?! Does your cruelty know no bounds, Twilight Sparkle?!
Cannot... wait... for.. next... chapter!
so far really good story. keep up the good work
Silly Twilight, you have fairy tail character near you. Ofcourse she will be behaving according to the legend, that includes eating foals.
5915724 Well she has yet to meet her true jailers. I don't remember mention of Pinkie being with them all yet, and then there is the CMC. Wondering which trap she will get caught in of theirs first.
I think the word you're looking for is 'wary'.
Love it~
I adore this story. Nightmare Moon is one of my favorite characters and I can't wait to see what her reaction to Ponyville and it's crazy will be. Especially when she meets best pony Pinkie :D
I found myself smugly smiling and nodding in agreement when she told Twi that little part about how heroes lie to themselves about being better than the 'badguys'. I always thought that if you take the opposite perspective, Sunbutt and her stooges could easily be the villains, and you wouldn't have to change anything from canon either.
Obey, or face a millennium in stone, or in ice, or on the moon!
Heck, even the town of 'our town'... The only town still resisting Celestia's oppression, until her agents removed the leader from the picture.
Also the sun is too bright and warm anyway.
Smart.
HEH!
Smart. And shouldn't it be hooves more than feet?
HEH!
I suppose you'll be finding out soon.
Twilight is a lot more benevolent here than most warden characters I've read about, but it looks like she hasn't thought through the implications of her actions. They seem to be designed to keep Nightmare in check while sacrificing as little comfort as possible. Much more humane than many things I've seen in redemption stories. However, the way she keeps getting surprised makes me think that she didn't consider what her restrictions might look like to others or how Nightmare would feel about them.
There's also the fact that, unlike Discord, Nightmare was given no choice in this. Discord agreed to at least play along, but Nightmare has been effectively muzzled and leashed then told that she is going to play nice whether she wants to or not. Choosing to reform and being forced to go through the motions are extremely different and I'm not sure Twilight thought of that in her eagerness. It also looks like she didn't think of what it would be like to suddenly be stripped of magic, something they were born with, and be told that it had to be earned back. Magic may not be necessary for them to live, but having that taken away (especially from a creature that essentially was magic) seems like a big deal and Twilight may have jumped the gun, not fully understanding what she's done to prepare for Nightmare's reform.
If Nightmare keeps going like she has, I see self-worth problems in Twilight's future.
Love it. Nightmare Moon should tweak and snark as much as possible.
5916754 Yup, I can easily see a revolt come when she gets the chance. I haven't even read the story yet, and even though I love Nightmare Moon (my Best Pony), I don't think I want to...
Where's the clop?
Clop, please!
5918944 I assume we'll need to wait for a bit for the story to catch up. On the bright side, it'll make the clop more meaningful when it happens (if it's done right).
I look forward to updates. I haven't found a good rehabilitation story for nightmare moon in a while! And then you popped up!
In keeping with the minor theme of pancakes in the latest season, this is good.
Twilight shouldn't worry. What goes in, must come out.
Payback will come.
5933069 How true. How true. Personally, I was surprised the first thing she didn't feel was pressure on her bladder.
Hopefully, that will come later.
Those poor pancakes. Nightmare is going to get fat.
Small typos:
If things went as plan, he could drop it immediately, and if things went poorly, he could extend it around him and the others.
-planned
It opened it's mouth and inhaled deeply.
-its
5933209 I had considered it, but decided that since she was literally born yesterday and had nothing to eat or drink yet, she would have no need to use the bathroom.
This actually reminds me of an episode of Star Trek where Q became mortal.
5933354 Still, she's not exactly potty trained, which could easily be a problem.
Daaaaw.
AHAHAH! A grand way to devour one's meal, with voracious fury! I do look forward to updates