Dedicated to & Story Request by SpartanShoes28. This fanfic is also dedicated to people and children with autism, and their families.
Pinkie Pie has always been a puzzle to every pony. But one busy Friday in the market place, a mother named Roseluck and her autistic filly Bow Heart discover a new side to this energetic party pony.
Entered into the EFNW 2015 Pre-Con Contest
Cover art by Kyumiku: https://www.deviantart.com/kyumiku
RibonChan’s amazing reading: [embed]
https://youtu.be/JZbWcyHrF6s[/embed]
Chapters (1)
Wow... you pretty much nailed how autism works. The music, the problems in large crowds, and the antisocial part. I think you were also hinting at how people with autism are drawn to each other, which is how pinkie could tell Bow Heart was autistic.
Having been diagnosed with high functioning autism myself, I can relate to Bow Heart. I don't know if this is the case for the filly as well, but for as long as I can remember, I've been able to create my own worlds out of anything I can think of in my head while making it seem real enough for me to get lost in them for hours.
I am extremely glad I found this. It's not everyday I find a writer who understands autism like you do.
Thank you so much for your beautiful and wonderful review
I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and that you related to it
Thank you also for complimenting on how I handled autism in my story, it's something that needs to be handled with care. The reason why I know so much about it and how it feels to be autistic is because I have autism
Thank you for sharing with me about your autism
5711659
I was thinking that Bow Heart had more of moderate to severe autism, rather than high functioning autism.
This really hits home. I just learned a little over a month ago that I have Asperger's. I've never been able to function normally in society and no one knew what was wrong. All I knew was that I was a weirdo who was unlike everyone else. Yes, it's not full-blown autism, but it's bad enough. And need I say that Pinkie Pie has long been my favorite pony? She seems far too outgoing to be on the spectrum, but there's something about her. She certainly is the most unique of ponies.
BTW, in the chapter "Indecisive Jackass" of "Reharmonized Ponies" Pinkie is referred to as having autism.
Thank you for this beautiful story and for making Pinkie the heroine. I think we've all had quite enough of all the psycho/supernatural Pinkie portrayals.
5712671
I'm so glad that you were able to relate it and that you appreciated my portrayal of Pinkie Pie
Thank you so much for reviewing, reading, and enjoying my story
Thank you you for sharing me your story about your Aspergers. It's okay, a lot of people now and days are diagnosed late in their lives with autism. No matter where you are on the spectrum, each person with autism has their own struggles and obstacles that they have to deal with. But I hoped this story made you realize that you are not alone in this struggle. Having autism doesn't change who you are, and that you can be part of society just like everyone else.
It's funny, before this story, I never thought Pinkie Pie would be a character who has autism. But after SpartanShoes suggest the idea to me, and after I thought about it, it made sense. Like you said, she had always been a unique pony. As much as she is social with her parties and her friends, there are times where she has a hard time picking up on certain social/emotional cues from others. In this story, I like to think Pinkie as some pony who on the more high function side/social side of Aspergers. Plus in my opinion, people with autism and Aspergers can be energetic and happy people. They can especially can get over excited over certain things.
You just earned my like and favorite
5722024
Thank you
Yay!
Whistle*
Well, it's a great idea, with a lot of problems.
The good news is, I can relate to them because it's mostly grammer problem, but you got some issue with you flow and paceing as well.
I'll try to fully pre-read this tonight, so if u would get it on a google doc within 8 hours that be great, but here are some thing I try to fix now:
Read the FAQ on this site. Should be easy to find in your options.
-try to avoid starting and sentence ending sentence with the same word. Try as you might, it breaks the flow of your words.
-whole starting out, always tell the story in past tense. This can be the most tricky, but genually, once you get the hang of it, it's as simple as thinking of saying happened rather than happening
I like the basic concept at work here. Pinkie meeting an autistic pony could end up in different ways depending on whether Pinkie is written to relate or not. You decided to take that really far by making her autistic too. That might be bad or good. I wasn't terribly impressed. I also wasn't that impressed by the friendship between Roseluck and Pinkie. I would have liked to have the story be more about why they should be friends just because the foal is autistic and Pinkie can relate and all. That alone is just a start I suppose. And you need to proofread this story right away. Grammatical errors are all over the place.
Official EFNW 2015 Pre-Con Contest first round grading
Total: 14.5
Technical: 2.5/5
Plot: 2/5
Character: 3/5
Creativity: 4/5
Bonus: 3/5 (Not entirely sure if it was intentional or not, but the narrator's voice matches up very well with Pinkie's personality at times, which did provide a redeeming feature.)
Comment: While I'm sure this story really touches some who live with or around autism, I don't think it has much appeal beyond that, nor does it really do much for introducing others into that world. The grammar problems (including verb tense agreement, separating compound words, and errant capitalization) were an inescapably recurring source of cringes, not to mention overuse of adjectives and a touch of lavender unicorn syndrome. Plot and character both took a hit because it seemed like they were more vehicles for the disorder than entities in their own right. Especially Bow, who was a fairly major character, but reduces to little more than a collection of symptoms for the purposes of this story. I did think it was creative, though, to give Pinkie something in the autism spectrum.
Well, I think I have some things that I could add to one of the stories I'm writing. I suppose I could try to make the reader dive into the mind of an Asperger. This will be interesting. Nice story.
My head cannon has been updated.
The way you handled the subject of autism was fantastic, Miss Koi.
This deeply touched me, having a severely autistic sister and being a person with Aspergers myself.
This legitimately made me cry while I was reading. Out of all the fanfictions in this fandom, I haven't really seen any stories talk about this topic.
Thank you so much for making this story! I'm definitely going to make a reading of this story in the future.
This is nice, but I'm going to have to agree with 5712671. Pinkie seems a little too outgoing to be on the spectrum. Furthermore, at least canonically, she seems to have a deeper understanding of other ponies' emotional states to be on the spectrum if the montage during "The Smile Song" is any indication. I don't know. Pinkie Pie defies classification. The only developmental disorder that I can believably imagine her having is some cartoon version of ADHD.
this was a good read!
Aww, I just love seeing Pinkie in this
As someone who has Asperger's too, I am very grateful that such a sweet, endearing, and informative insight on the nature of the condition. Thank you.
I can't believe I was somehow never aware of this fic until now. It's beautiful.
Comfort Zones (Autism Awareness Special Reading) - Ribonchan
This was a really touching story. I saw Ribonchan's dramatic reading of your story, and I was crying. No joke.
It hit me hard in the feels, because I'm autistic/aspergers too. And for that, this story deserves a spot in my favorites. Well done.
This is such a beautiful little story! Simple, but effective, presenting a heart-filled representation of autism that is sorely needed in fiction.
My only criticism is Pinkie's monologue toward the end, since it's formatted in one, huge chunk of a paragraph. An easy way to divide paragraphs from singular dialogues, is to leave the closing quotation marks off the end of said paragraph, and place a new opening quotation mark at the start. Like this:
I hope this helps! Keep up the good work :).
9598059
Daww thank you for your wonderful comment, and for your little point on how to break up Pinkie's big monologue:) I just fixed that up:)
9595882
Thank you for bringing this to my field of view. This story is a pure gemstone.
This is a beautiful story with Pinkie at her best here. I would love if you explain further in the details about autism so readers can better comprehend. But Pinkie is like the perfect role model to this character
5767025
Oh my god did this story offend you lol you sound triggered.
5712833
Thank you so much for this wonderful stories. As someone who is on the spectrum, and especially a twin sister who is on it as well, the portrayal of Bow Heart and even Pinkie Pie was beautifully done. Though I think that Pinkie's personality change from an antisocial pony to an extroverted one after the rainbow was a little quick, there are autistic people who can't or don't talk and some who talk a lot, proving how much of a variety there is of the community itself. Well done ❤🙌🏾❤🙌🏾❤
This was amazing. Hearing Pinkie speak her mind was like an extension of me. It's beautiful. You have a gift for relating to people.
don't get me wrong the story is beautiful but is it wrong for me to see that the little filly in the thumbnail looks exactly like miss cheerilee
9844531
Soooo believe me when I say that this was unintentional 
Haha lol yeeeaahhh I didn't realize that my little OC that I created was pretty much a filly Cheerilee until readers like you pointed it out
9846539
lol
I agree that Pinkie has Autism. I would go as far to say that Marble and Maud have it too.
Having ASD is hard. I don't understand simple YOLO's easily. I also act like different ponies to different people.
Grown-up I don't know:
Teachers:
Kids:
Friends who want me to watch older shows:
LOUD:
Friends who aren't bronies and want me to watch older shows:
9921546
I thought I deleted the last part....
9846692
Why LOL
What funny
9921551
nothing my dear friend
I love this ^^
despite a few grammatical errors in the story, It was super cute! It has a place in my bookshelf now!
This was touching. As someone with Aspergers myself I can relate to this and I think that it’s a great story. Indeed it’s difficult sometimes, especially with social situations, to the point where hiding in your own world feels more preferable. However when you are surrounded by people who love and understand you everything gets better in time. It certainly has gotten easier for me even though I sometimes still struggle with a lot of things. Thanks for writing this story.
This was a good read. Good work on the story. Definitely going on my favorites list.
This story is popular and it's old! Fav!
This story was really good. I don't know a lot about Autism, but I've seen in the comments that you nailed it, and it feels believeable. There were some grammatical errrors, and the flow seemed a bit...off at times, but in general this was an extremely sweet story and I loved it! Take my upvote. :)
9861350
I agree. She matches a high functioning person/pony with autism while Bow matches someone with low to medium functioning.
I loved this story, because i also have autism, the same kind as pinkie in this story.
Its kinda funny (I can't think of another word) how people with autism can sniff each other out.
I really enjoyed this story. I myself am diagnosed with autism and I am proud of it and.dreadful for my family bearing with me when I have my moments
Edit one year later... I don't remember what I was trying to type, but I didn't mean dreadful, don't remember what the auto correct corrected it to...
11262618
We can
Its like a sixth sense
People
Pro tip: never say this
We Dont have to ACT like we have autism
11606418
11606423
YES
11606737
Agreed
Us aspies are better together!
Good to see some actual representation of autism on this site. Also good that people here actually have the maturity to not only not vote bomb without explanation, but to actually offer support. More of this please