She layed near the entrance of what once was her home. But it no longer housed tomes of knowledge, quills and bottles of ink to scratch down memories on aged paper.
It only housed fire, and the ashes of history. The love of her life was dead, and her only friend at that moment was the pounding rain, working hard to extinguish the destructive blaze, too little too late.
~~~~~
A short fic idea I had.
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Good Job
This may be the first time I've ever seen a spam-bot on this site...
As for the story, I quite enjoyed it.
Though I'm curious, it says incomplete, yet your descriptions says it's a short fic. Is this planned as a one-shot or will it have more chapters?
Whooo! My first thumbs down!
610504
It happens.
Unless they tell you why - assume it's someone who just doesn't like "sad" tags and move on...
Good story. I liked the idea. You had a a nice clean execution, few major grammatical or spelling errors, and the characters felt in character.
Nice job. Thumbs up and Fav.
610512
Actually, I'm quite happy it was on this story first.
Preps me for when it happens on my main story. Thanks for the compliments! Was it sad?
610516
Sad tag is appropriate, although you could probably lose the "Tragedy" tag, because even though it is "tragic" for Twilight, I'm not quite sure meets the criteria for the tag in the story archive. There is no death or physical injury, and while it is a life changing event for Twilight - it *is* only stuff.
Although that is probably nit picking...
So I think I know the feel Twi'
610621
Manly tears were shed?
610635
Manly in a sense, 'cept I am of the lady persuasion
But yes, this was very well written and certainly trying on the old emotions and what-not.
Yeah, uh, no.
Not only was this a pointless fic, written solely for the point of an emotional struggle with absolutely nothing explained or leading up to it, but you managed to spoil the entire fic in the description. You left your reader with no mystery or imagination whatsoever, they knew what was going to happen before they even started. Not to mention, the read itself was less than satisfactory.
Your mechanics, grammar, and writing style is all okay, but you need to work very hard on story development, characterization, and plot.
-1
610851
I'll attempt to learn something from this, but you'll have to give me more than "I just didn't like it" if you want to impact my future writings in any significant or meaningful way. So you didn't like the execution? Okay. That's how I wanted it to go. I wanted people to see what was happening. It wasn't meant to be a mystery. It's meant to show, not tell, an experience Twilight had.
I respectfully reject your opinion.
Thanks for offering it though!
610884
Trying to explain why what you did was "correct" doesn't make your story any less bad.
611167
And your inability to come up with a reasonable reason why it is bad renders your comment useless.
I liked it. Thanks for writing stuff. But work on your mane story more! I want to read!
This was an interesting story. It was well written, the ponys were in character, and it was sad. I like the inclusion of the Celestia's diary. Added an interesting reason for why she was so sad. I liked the ending, it was in a really good place.
Thank you for reading.
GB