• Member Since 25th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday




Joel, a Human who has lived in Equestria for some time now has finally gotten used to it and what it brings... Except for constantly calling the brightly coloured and adorable looking Equines cute at every turn that is. Maud Pie just so happens to see this side of him quite quickly.

Cover art by Badumsquish

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 52 )

This looks like a fun one so far! I really like this depiction of Maud and the writing is easy to read.

I hope you find time to continue!

"Your magic bullshit is still illogical..."

This sounds like something shockwave would say if the transformers series wasn't kid friendly.

Okay, that use of "yey" just upsized the cuteness of the flutteryay


I told her about Skyrim ONCE


Grey literally laughed his head off


About the short description:

Joel has an hour to kill with his best friend Pinkie Pies sister so she can finish work. Lots of laughter an- Yeah, who am I kidding this is Maud.

I coulda sworn I understood it that Joel had one hour to MURDER Maud... I missed the "with" after "kill"


I suppose pinkie is capable of eating a half dozen cheese wheels, yeah I’d buy her being the dovahkiin.

Quite entertaining, Maud has so many emotions that it’s frightening while Pinks over there only brakes Joel one chapter at a time.

His file in Ponyville hospital must be several feet thick.

Pinkie will know. Pinkie does know. Pinkie probably always knew.

Im loving this! Plus Joel cracks me up.

Hahaha. I love the conversations between Maud and Joel

I hope this continues



Thank you everyone, I'm so glad you all enjoy my story! I wrote this all quite a few years ago and am currently done with writing, but decided to post as many chapters and other stories I still had written/saved.

Theres still a few chapters to transcribe, so I hope you continue to find joy in my scribbles!

The story's amusing so far. Some spelling issues, and the narration could use some work, but the prospect of Maud flirting in her own way is cute.

I can also see Maud's describing Joel as nothing like Pinkie, but exactly like Pinkie. Sometimes it can be hard to follow his thought process given all the asides and pop culture references.

Have to wonder why he doesn’t experiment with brewing something stronger. Or see if another species has a higher alcohol tolerance and therefore appropriate booze.

Violence isn't the answer it's the question, and the answer is yes, always.

"It was he-he-heLARIOUS when he got knocked off the cloud!"
"Well, there you are. That's how you survived."
"Why the hell should it matter if you marshmallows find my near-death experiences funny?"
"As I said, Joel, it's all in the book. It's just that it's not about the theory of gravity: it's about the theory of levity."

Could you see the CMC near an active still? Nice oxymoron.

It would probably last a week or two before they blew it up somehow. Either way the cider presses have survived somehow.


Stills are very VERY different -- the results could be explosive.

Frankly I wouldn’t trust them around anything more dangerous than a piece of string. And to my knowledge you are correct in that stills are more dangerous than cider presses. Unless alcoholic also involves venting ethanol at any point.


It would be so much harder to be a bootlegger as a pony. Could you see some moonshiner with a still cutie mark or a moon shining down on a jug of whiskey trying to defend themselves?

They would probably have laws to defend those with...unfortunate cutie marks, but yeah if nothing else if moonshine did start cropping up I imagine there wouldn’t be many basements you check before theirs.

I've never heard of Lincolnshire, so maybe? I was quoting a line from GuttedWrenStudios: Mobile Suit Gundam, Bright Noa says it at one point.

I was reference "Yes, Always", aka "Frozen Peas", originally a tape and now an mp3 file of Orson Wells recording a commercial for various frozen vegetables, notably peas. Wasn't sure if that was your reference or not. Obviously not. "Frozen Peas" has little to do with violence, except that Wells gets really POd at the director.

From what I understand, Wells getting upset and going off on the director/crew wasn't exactly uncommon. If I remember right in an episode of Animaniacs Brain quoted one of Wells' more famous blow ups almost word for word, just editing out the profanity.

That was "Frozen Peas" on Pinky and the Brain! I almost mentioned that but wasn't sure if you'd know it.

I saw it multiple times as a kid, but I haven't actually watched it in years... I think I need to head to youtube for a bit.

My cold, dead, black heart approached something akin to happiness when reading this. I would greatly enjoy some sort of finality or conclusion to this tale, as the tour needs to be concluded. :moustache:

yeesh, this is turning like a horrible blind date. cant get a feel on what your date is thinking and has the most stiff and poker face e~~~~~~ver!

"You intrigue my interest, Joel. " She said with a tiny, almost invisible smile. "You're not like Pinkie... That much is clear-" You fuckin wut? "-But at the exact same time, you are." She giggled- SHE GIGGLED?! then took pebble out from the cup and... The water's gone. How is the water gone?!

maud does not giggle!:trollestia:

but it would be nice to imagine how cute she would be if she really did giggle!:yay:

Lucky Joel. Usually target practice with artillery involves large fields and a lot of complex math.

Your wish is granted. I can't promise it'll be soon, but I'll try my best to conclude it.


Not in Equestria ... unless Twilight is involved, but she enjoys that sort of thing.

Awesome. Loved it!

Glad to see the new chapter of course. Was afraid when it abruptly stopped.

She told me as she could clearly see my, 'What in the fuck' face prominent on my features.

Same feel as https://youtu.be/MZsfTWqqKKM

:rainbowderp: woah you sure this isn’t a romance story? Because this story definitely has to much rocky love all over it. :twilightblush:

I read all the chapters so far. I’m not a bad word kind of guy but I do enjoy the madness the human has to accept and the crazy stuff that happens. The Maud falling for him is really touching. :raritystarry: :raritywink:

Edit: Internet not playing nice to me that I wonder if Pinkie is the cause... :trixieshiftleft: took to long for the post to load...

This is DEFINITELY a fun read, keep up the greatness. :pinkiehappy:

Not romance, slice of life. Enjoy my scribblings if you dare.

Insomnia and a vacation prove anything is possible, thanks so much.


Lately I’ve been listening to sea pony music. I wonder how the human would handled being saved by them while they sang the G1 song :rainbowlaugh:

You can bite through without eating it. Just have to accept that your front teeth are now painted with evil.

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