• Published 20th Nov 2020
  • 2,015 Views, 45 Comments

An Hour With Apathy - Soul_Seeker

Joel has an hour to kill with his best friend Pinkie Pies sister so she can finish work. Lots of laughter an- Yeah, who am I kidding this is Maud.

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Apathetic Composure

"I TOLD YOU IT'S NOT MAGIC. Earth ponies like me can't do magic!". Pinkie unleashed her trumpet-like voice, "Watch I'll try right now. " She said while closing her eyes and flexing her entire body forcefully.

Can she go Super Sayain?

As her face was going bright red from the struggle, she let out a small puff of a toot and flushed with embarrassment, fleeing towards the bathroom to hide her shame. Oh Pinks... I'd be embarrassed to if her farts didn't smell like sprinkles and rainbows

I turned towards Maud and continued as if nothing happened, "Bullshit. Magic."

Maud blinked a few times and stared towards the restroom door while she spoke. "It isn't actually magic you know that, right?"

I narrowed my eyes and sipped my drink. "I'm aware that she isn't a unicorn-"

"Or a Pegasus." Maud interjected smugly.

"Yessss..." I hissed through my teeth as my eyes narrowed to basically blinding me in illogical rage. "She is also not a Pegasus... But there isn't a creature in this world that can explain why she has these powers."

"Are you aware of her genuine adoration of confectionery goo-" Maud must have seen my eye twitching becuase she paused herself this time.

These... God damn... Ponies

I couldn't help but realize I'm basically snapping so I guess I should tone down the factual feelings of utter resentment I have for their physics... "Alright. So can you tell me than, Maud?" I was genuinely curious if such a straightforward mare could give a base explanation.

She smiled- thats FOUR times for the people at home counting- and looked lost in thought for a minute. "Do you know how old I was when Pinkie became her usual party throwing sower of Chaos that she is today?"

I put my drink down and tapped the side a few times, "I think Pinks told me you were all little kids but she never really talked about it much."

You created an expositional change jesus man

Maud closed her eyes a moment and opened them with actual meaning behind them for the first time I'd seen that day. "Children who haven't had a party before don't really know what fun is... When we were small, Pinkie was just like us. Rock farmers and enthusiasts."

Oh shit am I gonna see Maud laugh AND cry in one day? Shit. Not good. My body can only take so much pastel beauty. "Pinkie... Changed one day and got her cutie mark. She was astonishing to be honest with you, Joel. I had never seen colours so vibrant than when she *popped* into her own." Maud was beginning to look downwards now.

"Did... Did she kinda overwhelm you?" I asked as caring as I could.

Her right ear twitched and she stared at me blankly once more. "I was pale in comparison." She ended with another one-hoof balance with her chin.

Mauds got a boyfriend~ Mauds got a... Shit I'm mocking myself

I started snickering and held a hand to my mouth while I held my head on the table. "You were saving that one from earlier weren't you?" I asked.

She let a miniscule smirk appear on her muzzle before watching Pinkie slinking around the store; table by table as she hid behind customers chairs. "Pinkie has a power I'm not sure any other ponies have, or even know about."

Psycho-tele-kinetic abities- VALIDATE MY THEORY

She angled her hoof as to motion to come closer so others wouldn't hear. "When we were younger, even before her cutie mark, my sister was able to help us feel... Less twisted." She sniffed around and looked directly behind me, seeing Pinkie's large ball of a mane protruding out from the chair.

"If you say she's a mutant I promise you I will believe it. We could even get a campaign together to prov-" Just as I said she was a mutant I felt the hinges on my seat unscrew as I began to spin in a billion 360s like a swivel chair on PCP.

That mischievous fuckin brick wall

"I AM THE ALL POWERFUL." Pinkie started monologing, my helpless brain matter clinging to my skull. "I... AM-"

Don't say Dragonborn...

"THE DRAGONBORNNNN!" She stopped me suddenly and screwed the chair back together in a second flat then sat directly next to me as if she didn't just liquefy my thoughts.

I told her about Skyrim ONCE

Maud, as the happy uninjured bystander and prevailing COOPERATING PARTY sat there stoic and nearly unimpressed. "Magic... Bullshit." I said slamming my head into the table leaving a small dent.

"Appologies Joel, but I've no clue how Pinkimena is able to appear as she does." She explained as I picked myself up off the table and patted Pinkies bubbly mane. (Its so springy I love it) "The Pie family isn't exactly a large export of unnatural abilities."

I sighed defeated and stared at Pinkie. "You anger me greatly."

Pinkie smiled joyfully and nodded multiple times, to which I picked her up and put her in my lap to pet her hair. "One day I'll get tired of you, I swear."

She giggled and hopped off of me to hug her sister tightly, "And then you'll destroy the very fabric of our reality, right Joel?"

Maud raised an eyebrow at this but accepted her sisters hug.

I sighed once more and tossed my soda can in the recycling, only to watch it bounce and jiggle with the other cans as it popped back out of the box. "I really miss gravity."