Two friends figure out a way to view other worlds. One day while testing, something horrible happens and they end up traveling to Equestria. Though this world has humanoids instead of ponies, the group that is so familar to the show is now right all around them . They have a limited time to get back but will they make it in time? And do they really want to go back?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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776473
from what I can read, it's anthropomorphized ponies cuz they did say Pegasus and Alicorn anyways which wouldn't be terms when referring to humans with flight ability or magic
although the story has that spark for an interesting plot, there ARE major problems: Mistakes and (more importantly) it's RUSHED. (And believe me, I know a rushed story when I see one....) as well as some other elements...
so if I were to give this a score, it'd look:
Setting: HiE = 6/10 (Overused....)
Char. "Form": AnthroPonies? 8/10 (I RARELY see this)
Char. Development: heeeee.... Inexistant? 0/10 (not only is there a massive lack of description, but you decided on one character being an Alicorn.... bad move)
"Current story": The OCs get hurt entering Equestria? Common but less boring than a normal entry... and they enter with the help of Human tech, NOT magic? 7/10
"Potential": Time limit before their "gate" back home closes? hum... that's kinda all as if I mention the other potential elements this story may be ruined...
7/10
Overall score: 5.6/10
Recommendation: You.... may want to rewrite chapter 1.... and seeing as how first comment couldn't ID if it were Humans or Anthroponies....
778617
and this story actually had the potential of having the humans stay humans cuz the way I see Portal technology, it doesn't mess with your DNA unlike tears in space-time or death/near-death experiences which usually result in the character turning into a local. But then.... their portal did harm them a lot...
that could be one theroy but we don't know for sure i had it written that you would be geneticly changed to match the world, so please go by that not anything else
My friend actually asked me to include a character of his, he wanted it to be an alicorn, i orginally agreed, but changed it be cause i didn't want it to be one