• Member Since 13th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Venates


E
Source

Pinkie Pie's entire day revolves around getting every pony she meets to feel happy. She's a master of it all, from practical jokes to slapstick comedy. Sure, she's had a few tough nuts to crack, but in the end those nuts always crack a smile!

...Except for today. A strange spell has infected Pinkie's home, somehow leaving only her immune to the effects. Clearly there is only one solution: an epic adventure to return the smiles back to Ponyville! With her trusty sidekick Gummy at her side, there will be no stopping her quest!


Featured by Royal Canterlot Archives! (FimFic Site Post)
Featured by Seattle's Angels!

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 11 )

This started out so silly but then ended so not silly...

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I was afraid that was how it would end. :/

7008265
Still a good read, I hope!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

7009196
If I'm being honest, it was all right. Something about the writing just didn't click with me. :/

And even if it did work, I'd have to get gifts for the whole town!

Pfft! That's usually the sardonic response I get from jackasses who hate Spike when I express a desire to see him counted among his own goddamn friends...something this fanfic--according to a ctrl+F search--refuses to do. "Sure, I'll put Spike in this picture/fanfic/song! And while I'm at it, I'll also include Derpy, Big Mac, the CMC, the Cakes, the entire population of Griffonstone, King Sombra..."

7192216
What are you talking about? Like. At all. :rainbowhuh:

7192386 He's saying he thinks Spike isn't included among the "whole town" because he usually isn't, just a plot convenience or not mentioned at all.

Moe Lasses: Congratulations you win the pun of the month award.:pinkiehappy:

I liked this. You handled the plot very well indeed, and your characterization of Pinky felt natural and real (for a fourth-wall-breaking cartoon horse). The fact that you could keep her in-character while she went through some moments which we might otherwise call out-of-character, speaks well of your skill and ambition. You pushed the envelope while staying in control.

The one thing I'd criticize is your prose. It could use some more careful copyediting. At times it seemed like you were just grabbing whatever word came to hand and jamming it into a sentence regardless of whether it was graceful, correct or even made any sense. This is perfectly alright for a first draft, when it's important to put black on white and keep moving, but then you absolutely must revise.

Congratulations on getting featured by RCL! It was well-deserved. :pinkiehappy:

Some helpful advice: make sure you put spacing between your paragraphs. It's acceptable in books, but when reading online it can be kind of hard to read.

I found myself bored with the story since most of what happened seemed pointless. It got a bit interesting at the end, but it sorely needed something to spice it up. The lack of paragraph spacing didn't help the readability.

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