• Member Since 28th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 11th, 2016

Vinyl-ScratchDJ17


E

John is a normal teen but one day he gets turned into rainbow dash. He must live his life as her. But who is behind this? Well he will have to find out.




I was inspired to make this story. So please don't comment mean things. You can say whatever you want about me but not my friends. Thank you for your attention and I will talk to you later.

~SkullKing

Oh and also fan art is by Jsburgh here is link to Fan Art. Thank you my friend for the support! :)

Small engines

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

I've seen a lot of stories come from you,

But this is going to be the SHITTIEST, Most UNORIGINAL, And CLICHED Story.

Get this off my interwebs.

Brutal Honesty, But Don't beat a dead horse.

I'll do a review soon, But i already Know What I'm getting from this.

I wake up one morning. Which I thought would be normal. But apparently things didn't go on like planned. Today was a Tuesday. I am a morning person. I'm kinda use to waking up in the morning. But on school days my mom wakes me up. She shakes me. I open my eyes and look at her. She has a look of disbelief.
"What's wrong?" I said putting a hand to my mouth. What I see is not a hand, but a hoof!?!
My voice. What the heck happened to it. It sounds like a femine voice. A familiar voice. But the big question is, what am I?! I look down at my body and see that it's a cyan color. I get off of my bed to hit the ground.
"Honey?! Is that you?!?" Asked my mom.

top rofl, man

Good start.

Needs work though XD

5694237 well I don't care what you say my friend may wright better stories than me but you don't need to be mean to him. You just crossed the line it's my story. You don't to that. I don't let anyone do that to my friends so just leave. Nobody cares for haters like you. So you get off the inter web.

~SkullKing

Great so far. Keep up the good work! :heart:

5694237 hey just to let you know my friend skulking is new to the world of writing, and doesn't know which techniques to use or anything like that. So just go easy on the beginners. People aren't just born with a gift to write amazing stories, it takes a lot of time to develope skills, and the necessary grammar to do as such. Took me two months to gain some skills and now I can write decent stories that a good handful of people will enjoy. Yes I will say the story does need a lot of work, but nobody is a perfect writer. I know you were just the same when you started out.

5694763

"New"

>Has 17 Stories

Top rofl

pleeeease continue!

5694763 thanks pal I just wanted to protect you. I will let anyone talk mean about me but not about my friends. :D

You clearly know what you like, but not why you like it. So you write in everything you like from other stories, but it's just parrotting everything without understanding it. A big pile of imitation poorly executed. You don't describe anything. You jump from idea to idea too quickly. You only write about a life like your own, which others can't relate with. Your grammar errors are homophonic, which means you use the wrong words that sound right when spoken, and that means you've been talked to more than you've read anything. You rely on repeated ! and ?s to try to give your words emotional weight, which never works.

It's kind of like that story I wrote in middle school, except I had a slightly more creative fantasy scenario and it was like 3 times longer. (That's not a good thing.)

You also hide behind a joint account instead of making your own account for free, so that people have a harder time identifying you, which is kind of mean.

I like what you like, so I hope you'll help yourself and read more stories, trying to figure out why they're writing what they write, and spend some time thinking to yourself. What you enjoy about what you read, and what you want to see more of.

5698446 hey I'd like to say thanks since you're the first to actually not insult on my friend, but rather encouraged him. Btw he does have his own account. We just share mine. I'm the "vinyl" side of this account.

This is really cool. I love rainbow dash tg/tf fics. Keep it up

yeah this is not really realistic I mean 1 his mom just letting him go school (was she crazy or in shock ) 2 when s/he got on the bus no one freak out
and called the police or something like that or took pictures ( I know this sounds mean to people but when we face the unknown we go bat shit
crazy one person is smart but people in group goes dumb) 3 by the time when s/he got to school the FBI or some like them should have put him in a cage or something 4 the one that turned into Rainbow Dash was to calm about the all if it what about his the future or something
and other things that should have but happened didn't anyway you really need to think about your Characters and how they react to things and im not just saying this to be mean but if you what more people to read this get your shit together and make this better and make sense


:moustache:

6074397 I agree that this doesn't make sense really. This was my friends work. I share or did share my account with another user. He's new to all this writing stuff.

"It's okay, everything will be alright." She says to herself trying to calm down.

She picks me up and takes me downstairs. I know I can't eat meat.

not true.

what a sham its only one chapter

I was actually thinking of doing a story like this, but it looks like someone beat me to it. It's good. But why don't the teachers say anything?

Login or register to comment